Chapter 5: Failure

"Come on Hiyori, just admit that you're a little jealous of that-"

"That girl and Aomine hold no substantial meaning in my life. They are nothing but two members of the team under which I coach. I'd rather give up my title as coach than to go out with that…idiot."

Flipping the next page of my book, I find myself delving deeper into the life of that is Edgar Allan Poe. What a truly remarkable ma-

"What if he asked you out?"

"It's obvious. I'd re-"

"But why?"

"Because, he holds no stand-"

"But he's sooo gor-"

"'There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness to the proportion.'"

"'Okay, whatever that means! But come on. From what I've heard he's like a God and-"

"'Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.'"

"Ugh, will you stop talking so smar-"

Holding up the thick, hard covered book, I toss it towards her where it lands on the bed.

"Edgar…Allan Poe?"

"Ding, ding, ding. That is correct. My, how I wonder how you could've guessed that. It's odd how you aren't at the top of your class-"

Chucking the back towards me, I catch it with ease as I begin to laugh at my sister's misfortune.

"Edgar Allan Poe. I swear, you could answer just about any question from a few lines from his books."

"Why are you even reading that garbage?" she mumbles, as she rolls over onto her stomach to text God knows who.

"Unlike you, I don't plan to stay in Japan after I've graduated. If all else fails with my coaching career, my next opportunity is heading abroad to study litera-"

"Yeah, yeah. We get it, you've got big hopes and a grand future ahead. Now, back to Ao-"

"I'm done talking about-"

"Yeah, well I'm-"

"Why don't you just call one of your girlfriends up? Oh wait, I happen to be the closest thing to a female companion that you have. And we're sisters."

Not even bothering to look, I can tell by my sister's urgent steps that she had showed herself out of our room.

I suppose it was cruel, but then again, it was just in my nature to draw those who I somewhat cared about away.

"'I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity,'" I whisper quietly, as I lay my head down to rest onto my forearms.

Quietly laughing to myself, I had to believe that Poe and myself were somewhat alike in some odd, twisted way.

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"Our game after school is still on?"

"That is correct. I've received everyone's forms that they've been given an excuse for early dismiss-"

"Great, do you have them on you?" I ask more kindlier than usual. Perhaps it was the fact that Momoi's sickeningly sweet attitude was drawing me in. Something about the fact that one person could always be so constantly happy and not let anything weigh them down made you give them a round of applause as to how strong they could always be while you were down in the dumps every minute of your day. Now that was truly remarkable.

I didn't hate Momoi so to speak, I just didn't like her for how she was converting me without her knowledge.

"I do, but they're in my lock-"

"Great. You can go grab them while I have everyone start on the warm-up."

Standing there for a few seconds longer, she finally gives in and quickly runs for her locker.

Judging by her attitude, something told me that not everyone signed their forms. My suspicions tell me even more that it had to be one of two people. The newbie, Menma, or that idiot who's been clinging onto her lately.

Blowing my whistle, I call the boys and girl all in to a circle.

"We've got a game today against…I don't recall the name but-"

"Josei High…ma'am," corrects a suddenly embarrassed Sakurai who quickly cowers behind Imayoshi.

As if calling a frightened, wounded animal from it's hiding place, I thank him kindly. I don't know what it was with me and him, but I couldn't find it in my stone cold heart to yell at him. He was nothing more than an innocent child trapped in a man's body. And strangely enough, I had a soft spot for children. No matter how cruel and sick they really are. In reality they, were the same as adults. Manipulative, deceiving, yet much more tolerable and their stupidity was to be founded more of an endearing thing rather than annoying.

"Sakurai and the coach. Nice job, Sakur-"

Shooting Wakamatsu a look, without words I point to the exit of the gym. By now, the boys knew what this meant.

"You're going to make him run?" chips in Menma, who for now, surprisingly enough, had remained quiet.

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Well, no. But it's pouring outside. Shouldn't you show a little mer-"

Walking right up into Menma's face, I look her dead in the eyes as I watch my reflection in her glossy, grey irises.

"I wouldn't be making him run without a reason now, would I? These boys and including yourself need to be taught discipline and respect. I don't give a damn as to how you treat each other on the court without me, but as long as I'm on it, we hold each other with res-"

"It's funny that you say that when you're the one who can't even bother to give those like myself any," she bites back, as she crosses her slim arms over his bust. I watch her eyes glance around towards the boys, especially Aomine's as she looks for some agreement.

The boys begin to snicker at the sudden female showdown.

"That is because a girl like you does not deserve respect from a girl like me."

"Enlighten me. What is defined as a girl like me?"

Smiling deviously at her, I'm ready to pummel her to the ground with my words when Momoi's voice brings me back to reality.

"Here are the forms," she says almost out of breath.

Grabbing them, I immediately begin to go through them.

….Wakamatsu, Imayoshi, Sakurai and? Well would you look at that. Where was Menma's and Aomine's?

"You two. Where are your forms?"

Each of them look at each other as they shrug.

Holding the slips up in Menma's face, I wave them back and forth.

"See these in my hand. This is what you call respect."

Aomine's POV

Damn did this girl really have bad mood swings. One moment she's all sweet and girly and the next it's like a fucking bear just woke up from hibernation. Well, she was only kind to Sakurai, probably because he reminds her of a kid. Tch, him and his boyish looks.

Wrapping my hands behind my head, I walk over to Wakamatsu who begins to whisper into my ear.

"My money's on Menma in case anything happens," he grins, as he rubs his hands together, awaiting for the show.

"Hm? What makes you say that?"

"Come on, it's always the quietest one's with the biggest punch."

Giving him a side long glance, I ignore him as I turn to watch the two continue to argue.

What an idiot, the clear winner here already was Hiyori. Anyone could tell if they just looked into her eyes for once. They were a grey bore, but if ya' stared long enough, you could see her intense hatred for just about anything. Especially herself.

Maybe that's why I caught myself fantasizing about her all the time. Because when I look at her, I see me.

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Hiyori's POV

"…and then I want you, Aomine, to pass to-"

"I don't pass."

"Under my coaching, I say you do. And then I want you, Sakurai to-"

"Yer' coaching sucks d-"

Raising my head up, I give Aomine an incredulous look.

Upon arriving to Josei High and on the walk here, Aomine's attitude had taken a turn for the worse. It was as if he was a loose cannon, which he was, but ten times worse today. What on earth was riding up his ass?

"You're not going to pass to Sakurai, are you?" I ask, as I place my hands sternly onto my hips.

"You already know. Don't ask me," he replies irritably, as he lazily goes on to sling his arm around Menma's shoulder.

Usually I would've been greatly annoyed by the affection, but right now, Aomine was my biggest concern.

Quickly scratching something off of my game plan, I give Aomine the boot.

"H-Hiyori, please. I'm sure we can-"

"No need to defend him, Momoi. I don't need a player like him to jeopardize the whole game plan if he can't put his bravado aside for a second just to pass the-"

"Tch, it's a damned practice game! I could finish the whole team just by myself!"

Opening my mouth in shock, I mock around me for someone to hold me.

"Great news everyone, none of you need to play. None of you deserve the chance to showcase your own individual talents. No one needs to see us play as a team if we have this great individual over here who can handle it all!"

Alright, I admit I was pushing the limits here. But I was sick and tired of Aomine's moping attitude and touchy feely traits towards our female player.

"If anyone of you find that my coaching, 'sucks', then by all means go ahead and join Aomine as he walks home."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I watch with satisfaction as Aomine begins to walk away and towards the exit. But suddenly, Menma shrugs her shoulders and goes after him, having the audacity to throw her towel in my face.

By the time I peel it off with rage, I find that everyone but Sakurai and Momoi have exited the gym.

It was weird. Probably the first time in a long time did I finally once again feel deserted and lonely. And once again did I drive those I cared for away. As usual.

Tossing the towel to the side, I quietly whisper for Momoi and Sakurai to head on home as well.

"B-But we have a game and-"

"No, I have a game. I'm the coach of the team. I take full responsibility for what happened today. Me and my big mouth I guess, right?" I chuckle nervously, as I begin to rummage throw my school bag for my glucose meter. Suddenly I had begun to feel dizzy and shaky, striking the fact that my sugar level had been low, seeing as how I had diabetes.

N-No, I was fine. It must be my nerves. You know, having your team leave you and all after you told them too.

Forcing Sakurai to leave as well, Momoi refuses to leave me alone to deal with the coach of the other team.

"What do you mean by dealing?" I ask quizzically as I begin to stretch on the floor.

"Come on Hiyori, we have to tell them that there'll be no-"

"Game is still on. No way am I going to make anyone think that Touou is this weak. If I can't play with a team under me, then I'll be the team. Plus, I'm the one who-"

Momoi goes quiet for a few seconds, before she hits me on the back of my head.

Shocked that she had the courage do something like that, I turn around to give her a scowl.

"I-Idiot! There's no way you could possibly play against a group of trained boys like these. You'll get crushed!"

"Like I said before you nearly pummelled my brains out, I'm the one who told them to leave so therefore the game at hand is up to me. Now, do me a favour and run to the nearby convenience store."

Continuing to stretch, Momoi asks me why. Mentally battling between myself, I decide to tell her why. Only her and solely her. And before that, I make her swear on her life that she would not tell a single soul.

"What is it Hiyori?"

"I-I think my blood sugar…may be low so I just want some sugar in case things get a little slipp-"

"Hiyori! If you know then why go through with the-"

"If you come back with some candy before the game starts, then I promise to you that I'll forfeit from the match," I swear, as childishly as it was for me, as I loop my ring finger around hers.

Staring intensely at my face for a few seconds longer, she grabs her bag as she quickly runs out of the gym, before it began to pour.

Stretching some more, I begin to think of how much I really did manipulate people from time to time. Especially Momoi.

From my understanding, there wasn't a convenience store nearby. It'd take her a good 15 minutes to find one and with that, the game would already be in the works. But I am surprised that she didn't just go down to the floor of the school and get something from the vending machine.

Sighing out loud, I figured that I might as well get my ass beat before she arrived.

"You, where's your team?" asks a player of the other team, as they look around only to find me and my pitiful self.

Throwing my hands up in the air I say, "You're looking at it."

Aomine's POV

"We shouldn't have left her," says Imayoshi to no one in particular.

But for some reason, I felt as if he was aiming it at me.

"Then why the hell did ya'?"

Imayoshi grows quiet, not knowing himself.

Continuing to walk angrily, I have to slow my self down when I realize that Menma was struggling to keep up.

Fuck, the hell just happened? The only reason why I was so pissed of from before was because of how much that damned woman reminded me of myself. Was that how I really looked to others? Like a pitiful bastard?

"A-Aomine, what's-"

"Shut up," I groan out, as I begin to quicken my pace once again. I was sick and tired of all these girls wanting something from me. Usually I was more than happy to give them a piece, but right now, I just wished all of them would leave me the hell alone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hiyori's POV

Panting and wheezing, I take a seat on the bench as the other team calls for a time out. Right now, there was only about 5 minutes left of the last quarter. Of course, the other team was in lead, 10 points away from a hundred. Me on the other hand sat by myself with nothing. My strategy was to play on the defensive side rather than offensive. I figured the least I could do was limit their scoring, but it was taking a toll on my body. By now, I was for certain that it had been my low blood sugar level that had caused my earlier shakiness. Unfortunate for me, what I had expected of Momoi to return became nothing of it. In fact, she or Sakurai or even the rest of the team for that matter didn't even come back, leaving me in a state of stupor, anger and fatigue.

Wiping the sweat off of my forehead with a towel, I cover my face with my hands. It was beyond my control now to stop them from shaking violently. If I didn't end this soon I might make a scene and collapse. How splendid that would be.

"Excuse me, would you like some water?"

Looking between the crevices of my fingertips, I look up to see a tall, brown haired boy from the other team. He shoves a water bottle into my face where I take it graciously.

Murmuring a thank you, I down the bottle and then toss it to the side. I looked nothing like a lady while doing so.

"I'm surprised. A coach, a female one at that, can play some pretty damn good ball," he laughs, as he goes in to pat me on the back. Feeling very discomforted by his sudden warmth, I quickly stand up.

"Flattery will get you nowhere. I haven't made a single-"

"If it weren't for your defensive plays, our score would've most likely been doubled."

Giving him a side long glance, I can't help but sigh out in response. If I knew coaching would've taken this much of a toll on my life, I wouldn't have done it all.

"Look, I don't know what happened to make your team leave you, nor will I ask, but it's a shame they did so. You're an amazing player and coach. You could do so much better."

"You talk as if you know my boys…and girl."

Flashing me a grin and wink, he lowers his head down to my ear where his quiet voice brushes against my neck. "That's because I am one of the boys."

With that, the mysterious boy heads back to his bench leaving me all alone once again.

What did he mean by that? And why did he have to whisper it in my ear? Most importantly, why does he even care!

Suddenly the buzzer goes off, signalling the remainder of the last 5 minutes.

Once more wiping the sweat off my forehead, I make my way to the center of the court where I face off in the middle.

Surprisingly enough, I'm squared off against the gentleman who had given me the water and small pep talk, if you could call it that.

"Fancy meeting you here," I croak out, so that only he could here.

As the referee makes way with the ball, he once again, uncomfortably for me though, leans down to whisper in my ear.

"You know what I said about your team leaving you?"

Nodding my head in response, he continues.

"I…didn't mean any of it. Let's be honest, anyone willing to walk out on you has to be sane. I saw how you treated them as soon as you guys walked in. Let me tell you something, those guys are far much better off without you chasing their tails for every offence they do. With you glued to their asses, there's no way they can ever play together."

"You have no right to say-"

"I have every right. Because you know why, just as I'm the player of this team, I'm the coach as well. Look around you, this is what you call a real team."

As the boy straightens up, his soft whispers echoing into my ear drum, I fail to hear the referee blow his whistle and the ball thrown up into the air.

Standing in the middle of the court, I find myself unable to move, to speak. His words. He…-so that's why he had brought me a bottle of water. To butter me up, build up my hopes that I still, somehow, had this game, only for him in the end to bring me down, for me to forfeit.

I'd like to think of myself as the indestructible girl who took no criticism, but then again, look at me. I'm only human.

What brings me back to my shameful reality is the buzzer going off again. The referee claims that due to the substantial difference in points, the game will end here, instead of continuing for the remaining four minutes.

Not even bothering to thank the other team, I head back over to my bench where I shove everything into my bag like a motionless robot. I was ready to leave. To quit. I was ready to give up my title as coach of Touou. That boy was right. What good was I if I could only boss people around instead of building them up?

"Look, I only said those things to make you quit the last couple of minutes. I could tell by the way your hands and legs were shaking that something wasn't-"

Grabbing a fistful of his jersey, I look him square in the eyes as I speak my next words.

"You know absolutely nothing about me. Don't you dare try to guilt trip me into this whole idea that whatever you did was for my well being because let me tell you something. Not once has anyone ever cared about my well being nor do I plan to let anyone do so. If I'm sentenced to the remainder of my life in bed, I'll live it alone because not a damn, single man like you deserves my company. You hear me?"

Nodding his head in fear, I push him away from me as I go to zip up my bag.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to ignore the fact that my legs felt like jelly, my pulse was decreasing and my hands were about to snap off due to the harsh vibrations they were currently going through. Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I kick the exit of the gym door open where I am awaited by the comforting, cold rain.

I stand outside for a few seconds, letting myself get drenched as I did not bother bringing an umbrella, even though I told the whole team to do so.

Placing my forearm over my eyes, I think I am about to cry. But I don't. Because in reality, I had nothing to be sad about. This was the life I chose. The life I would lead.

"Hiyori!"

"C-Coach!"

"Oi, Hiyoko!"

Slowly letting my arm fall to my side, I glance solemnly as to what was in front of me. It was the team. Every single one of them still in uniform with umbrella's keeping them dry.

I'm surprised these idiots knew how to open them up without me bossing them.

Cracking a half smile, I let out a small giggle as I begin to walk towards them.

"I'm so sorry I didn't make it back, Hiyori. I couldn't find a convenience store anywhere so then I panicked and called Aomine but he wouldn't answer so I had to call the other guys until one of them answered and when they did they were doing their own thing so I had to gather everyone up and convince them so I told them what you planned on doing nd then everyone realized how much passion you had and- and-"

Raising my hand up, I silence Momoi with a smile and grateful nod.

"It's fine. It really is.""H-How'd the ga-"

"We lost. Of-"

"Ya' mean you lost," I hear Aomine grumble as Menma giggles at his true remark. Imayoshi hits him on the head, clearly disappointed that he'd go and say something like that.

As the rain continues to drench me and Momoi continues to try and give me shelter underneath hers, I've finally come to a conclusion with the help of the serenity of the calming rain. I don't think I've ever been so relaxed and sure about anything before.

"You're right, Aomine. I did lose. I'm not much of a coach if I can't even keep us to-"

"Hiyor-"

"N-No, I'm right. Like everyone's been saying lately, I'm in no position to coach you guys. So…I resign."

The team grows quiet, as if everyone couldn't believe what I was saying. Taken by half of their expressions, I could tell they were trying to hold in their joy. I didn't blame them. I was a sorry of an excuse of a coach.

"C-Coach, you-"

"My name's not 'coach' anymore, Sakurai. It's Hiyori. By tomorrow morning you'll all have a new-"

"Oi, Hiyoko. I didn't-"

Yawning and stretching, I ask them kindly to head on home and that there was nothing left to be discussed. Out of the corner of my eye, I find Menma watching me intensely. Whatever. She was no longer my case anymore.

Beginning to make my way to the right, Aomine reaches out and grabs my arm, stopping me.

"Yer' going the wrong-"

"I live this way."

"No ya' do-"

"Fine. I'll be frank. I don't want to go home. So I'll take the long-"

"Ya' don't have an um-"

"Please don't act like you care for me. It's sickeningly, really."

With that, Aomine let's go of my hand, where without anymore exchanges of words, I walk in the pouring rain alone with an eased mind.

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"I resign my position as coach of the boy's basketball," I state simply, as I cross my left leg over my right, waiting patiently for the head of the school to sign my forms.

Lowering her glasses, she asks why.

"I have deemed myself to be no longer adequate to train a marvellous group of boys and girl of this stature. I assure you that this decision was strictly mine and no one else's. I advise you hire a well qualified coach, as this team will need it."

"'Marvellous' group you say? Oddly enough, that sounded sincere."

Cracking a smile as to how much she knew me, I nod my head in agreement. In the end, the team was strong, arrogant and courageous. But they lacked that sense of connection, discipline and resolve. All the things that I didn't have either.

"It is. I wish them nothing but the best."

Grumbling a few times here and there as she gives her signature in a few spots, she hands me back the form with a smile.

"Now that you have a free slot, are you interested in joining a team?" she asks, as she pulls out a file from her drawer.

"You mean a club?" I ask, slightly confused.

"No, I mean a team. If you don't find yourself adequate enough for Touou, then I'm more than happy enough to register you with a different basketball team."

"Well, what did you have in mind?"

"I hear Seirin High could use a manager. Their coach position is already slotted with a female student, but I-"

"A female? I don't know if I can handle another-"

"She's a senior. She's much more mature than yourself."

Cracking an eyebrow at her words, I hold my tongue as I play along.

"If you'd like, I could send you there after school today to test it out. If you like it you have the job. If you don't then you're more than welcome to do as you please."

Thinking about her offer, I can't help but let my curiosity get to the better of me. Plus, this would mean a whole new clean slate. I could forget all my worries of doing what's wrong and focus on the right. Plus, I wouldn't even be coaching. Just managing.

Rubbing my chin, I apologize to her fist.

"What for?"

"Seems like you're going to have to fill out some more forms," I laugh, as I give her one of my few, genuine smiles.

Seems as though the departure of the basketball team had done something irrevocable with my old self.