My first Parental!Kakashi fic (and mult-chapter Naruto). NOT yaoi. Will not be a long fic; only four chapters, though I've thought of other oneshots that could take place in this universe that I may or may not write. Enjoy.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan, here!"

Sakura pushed Naruto back and turned away with a scowl, planting her hands on her hips. "Go away, Naruto!"

"But, Sakura-chan!" Naruto tried to hand her the small box again, growing only more persistent when she shoved him away again. "It's your birthday! Everybody likes presents on their birthday!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Not from you, baka! No one wants whatever old, smelly thing you have to give us! You have no idea what to get a girl for a present, channaro!"

Naruto pouted. "But," he tried again, "it's not old or smelly! I'd love it if someone got me one for my birthday!"

"I told you to back off!" Sakura violently grabbed him by the hair and twisted, throwing him to the dusty ground with a blow hard enough to make his head spin.

"Aw, that's too bad, Forehead. Only one to remember your birthday is that baka? Sasuke-kun remembered mine, you know!"

Sakura turned with a glare to face Ino, her hands balling into fists again. "Shut up, Ino-pig!" she cried, frustrated. "Sasuke-kun did not remember your birthday! He has good taste!"

Ino smirked. "Exactly. Which is why he gave me a very beautiful rose for my birthday. What did he give you, Forehead?"

Sakura's eyes widened in fury, and with a wild yell she threw herself at Ino, fist cocked back in a punch. Naruto scrambled to his feet to watch, frantically trying to find some interlude in the violence in which to give his present and, when that failed, just enjoying the two girls fight. There was plenty of hair being pulled back and skirts torn and feral snarls, and just when it was starting to look like a real good cat fight, they were interrupted.

"Haruno Sakura! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Ino, back off her! Now!"

Both girls froze and turned to look at the men who had approached, Sakura's fist frozen about an inch away from Ino's shoulder. Naruto blinked and stumbled back- they were right behind him, how had he not even heard their approach? One was a short, bulky figure with a balding head but eyes the same brilliant shade as Sakura's, and it didn't take a genius to know that his overweight figure was not that of a ninja's. The other was tall and lean, his hair a dark, burnt gold and pulled back into a ponytail that hung to his waist with the clearest green eyes Naruto had ever seen, bearing the Konoha forehead protector and dressed in black and grey.

"Hey!" Naruto accused, pointing up at the man with the ponytail. "You! You're a ghost, aren't you? That's how you sneaked up on us!"

"Baka Naruto!" Ino yelled, kicking out at him and catching him in the side. "Don't you dare talk to him like-"

"Ino, stop. Come on. We're going. And you're not going to get away with fighting Sakura."

Naruto stared as Ino got up and stomped over to the probable ghost, her hands on her hips. "But, Dad, she started it!"

"I don't care who started it!"

Naruto's eyes widened. Dad? Big scary ponytail ghost man is Ino's dad?

"Sakura, come on! I've had enough of you fighting with that nice girl over that who-he-whats-it Sasuro or-"

"Dad!" Sakura wailed, horrified, looking around as if she was terrified someone had ever heard. "His name is Sasuke! Sasuke-kun! How could you get that wrong?! Oh, no, what if he heard? Don't worry, Sasuke-kun, I-"

"Sasuke, whatever! Now-"

Sakura wailed again in despair. "It is not whatever, Dad! It's Sasuke-kun! He's the most important man in the whole entire uni-"

"Yeah, yeah. Now, come on. I've had enough of you and Inoichi's kid fighting. You were such good friends-"

"She tried to steal Sasuke-kun from me! That makes her my enemy!" Sakura declared, even as she got up, annoyed, and started to head unhappily after her father. Seizing his chance, Naruto jumped back up as well and hurried up behind her, holding out his present with a broad, expectant smile.

"Wait, wait, Sakura-chan! Your present!"

"Ugh… go away! I don't care! No one even likes you, jeez! Stop following me!"

Naruto winced.

Sakura's father turned around with a furious look on his face, then stopped short when he actually saw who his daughter had rebuked. He glowered down at Naruto and ripped the box out of his hands, shaking it roughly before throwing it to smash into the ground. "You!" he snapped. "What the hell is this?!"

Naruto flinched. The man was glowering down at him with those eyes…those eyes… he looked almost like he wanted to kill him.

"You keep away from my daughter! I don't want you anywhere near her!"

He stared in horror. Naruto opened his mouth to say he had only wanted to give her a birthday present, but Sakura's father pushed him back, easily forcing his small frame to the ground before he turned and roughly grabbed Sakura's hand, pulling her away from him. As he left, Naruto was able to hear him mutter, "Sakura, don't talk with that boy. Keep away from it."

Naruto stiffened.

An it. He wasn't even a person. He was an it.

A white hut fury began to grow in his chest. His anger snarled like a living creature and he started to shake, his hands fisting around the dirt of the road as he gritted his teeth, drawing in a heavy, angry breath.

Then, to his horror, he felt his eyes fill with tears.

Not now not now not now don't be a baby be angry don't cry don't cry don't cry be angry dammit

His watery gaze landed on the small card, lying abandoned on the ground. The slight breeze opened it, revealing what was inside.

A small gift coupon that he'd won. Free ramen at Ichiraku's. For a year.

The small coupon was taped to the card, and underneath it were three words.

Happy birthday, Sakura-chan!

Naruto sniffled and reached out for the card just as a particularly strong gust of wind blew, and the card was caught by the warm wind, lifting up into the air and dancing across the street, out of his grasp.

Naruto stared after it for one long moment, then took off running.

Don't talk with that boy.

Keep away from it.

"I am not an it! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

Naruto's enraged yell echoed around the trees as he sprinted forward, still scrubbing at the tears falling relentlessly down his cheeks. Nothing was important. Nothing else mattered but putting one foot in front of the other, over and over and over, one foot in front of the other…

"I am not an it. I am Uzumaki Naruto," he whispered.

Go away!

No one even likes you!

Naruto hung his head and ran faster.

And promptly ran into what felt like a metal wall.

Crying out as he stumbled and fell over backwards, Naruto blinked rapidly, seeing stars as he raised a hand to his head. "Owwww," he complained, rubbing his aching forehead. He blinked again and struggled to sit up, searching for the wall that had dared to just pop up and obstruct his path.

It wasn't a wall, though. It was a person.

He sported the Konoha headband, but instead of a green vest, he wore what had undoubtedly once been a white plate of hard armor, but that was now scuffed and dirty, stained red in some places with what could only be blood. There was a katana strapped to his back, but the leather had been nearly severed and the sheath was very, very close to falling to the ground. Underneath the armor was a sleevless black top and dark pants, the cloth stained with even more questionable materials than his armor.

But in spite of all that battle-hardened glory of the shinobi that Naruto fantasized about, he found he couldn't look away from his head.

His face hidden by a simple white mask with a few almost childlike patterns inscribed on it. It appeared decidedly canine, and Naruto found himself shivering at the blank sight. A thick mane of silver hair stood upright on his head in a stubborn defiance against gravity, the tips stained red as well.

Naruto stared, gaping.

The ninja looked back down at him, but with the mask, Naruto had no idea what he was thinking. He scrambled back along the dusty path, stammering to try and get an excuse while mentally cursing himself that this was the second time someone had just appeared in front of him today without him even noticing. He wondered if this man was a ghost, even if Ino's dad wasn't.

"I… I…"

Naruto's frantic mumbles were interrupted when the ninja gasped and fell to his knees.

Naruto jumped, eyes widening before he scrambled forward, grabbing the man by the shoulder. "Hey! Hey! Mister! Are you okay? H-!"

He gasped as, the next second- he would never, as long as he lived, understand how- he ended up on his stomach, one arm jacked behind his back and dangerously close to breaking while the other was pinned to his side. "Who are you?!" the man hissed, pushing on the arm behind his back harder.

Naruto opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

"I said, who are you?!"

He let out a little whimper as his arm was strained even further. "Uzu… Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto trailed off, actually trembling in terror. This was just like earlier. The man hated him and he didn't even know why.

But he couldn't do anything. He couldn't do anything at all.

Naruto had never believed he would be one to be paralyzed by fear.

The ninja's grip on his arm abruptly slackened and the man fell back, giving another audible gasp. "Uzumaki… Kushina? No… No… not Kushina…"

Naruto stared in shock. The man's babbling made no sense, but his voice was no longer filled with distrust and suspicion. It was almost… wonderment? He stared at the masked face in surprise, and then, suddenly, it wasn't masked anymore.

The man pushed the white canine mask off to the side of his face to reveal yet another mask, this one navy blue and pulled up to his nose. His forehead was slick with sweat and he appeared manic, fevered, not totally in his right mind. One eye was human and normal and grey, but the other made Naruto recoil. It was like a demon's, red and black, with a thick scar bisecting it, and Naruto could feel it pierce down to his very soul.

"Minato-sensei?!" The man gasped, and Naruto froze as the ninja reached out in amazement. "It is… it is you… Minato-sensei!"

And then that red eye was spinning spinning spinning, black symbols in the scarlet rotating too fast for his eye to keep up- spinningspinningspinning

"-Kakashi, I'm sorry."

And the forest, the masked man, the sky, the ground- it all disappeared.

Naruto wanted to blink, wanted to gasp, bewildered, but his mouth didn't open, and he couldn't even make a sound. He found himself shifting to stare down at- the Hokage?

But… he's so young! Surely, that man could not be the old Hokage that was more like a grandfather to the village than anything else, surely that man dressed in battle armor and blood staining his chin and a face without wrinkles and pain in his eyes could not be the Hokage!

And was he looking down at the Hokage?

Since when had he gotten so tall?

And then his mouth was opening, and out came a voice that wasn't his own and a question that he hadn't thought to ask.

"What?"

The Hokage shook his head regretfully and bowed his head in a gesture of such respect and pain Naruto couldn't possibly believe the motion could come from the old Hokage. "Minato… sealed it. With the Death God contract."

And suddenly, Naruto's hands were shaking, even though he had no idea what the words meant, and he felt a peculiar sensation in his gut. It took him a few moments to recognize it as the emotion of disbelief and on the edge of agony, because why would he be upset? He didn't have any idea who Minato was or what a Death God contract was or what was going on.

His mouth opened of its own accord again, in that voice that was far too deep and low to be his. "No. No. No… he didn't. No, Hokage-sama."

Naruto wanted to stare in shock as the Hokage raised his head to reveal glistening eyes. What? The Hokage didn't cry! He was the Hokage! There was so much that was just so wrong with this- hallucination, this… whatever it was. The Hokage didn't cry.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi."

And then the emotions that weren't his curled up again in an acute anguish, a pain so strong that Naruto opened his mouth and let out a little cry, and only realized he'd only done so in his imagination when the body didn't respond. The voice did speak again, though, in a weak tremor and his hands started to shake. "Kushina?"

The Hokage just shook his head.

Abruptly, Naruto was turned to look away and found himself staring at the night sky. It was almost entirely obscured by a curiously red smoke, and then he sniffed and found he could smell blood, nothing but the metallic scent of blood since when had he been able to smell blood and the agony was getting worse, pain as such that Naruto had never felt before, the harsh, cold reality of loneliness bucking up and washing over him in a wave-

"Shut it, Jiraiya."

The abrupt change was reeling. There was no red smoke, no blood, no too young and too sad Hokage and no unbearable agony curled up in his chest like a slumbering monster. Just a dull, tired ache and suddenly it was dark and calm and he was inside, and there was an old man he had never seen before standing across from from him, long, snow white hair pulled back into a sharp ponytail. His dark eyes had curious red marking about them, and his black shirt was the characteristic mark of mourning. He looked singularly miserable.

The man sighed. "Look, brat. I'm sorry that I can't stay. But-"

"You're staying."

The sadness that wasn't his own rose up into a dull anger, and Naruto found himself taking a step forward and glowering at the man, who didn't seem intimidated in the slightest. He just sighed. "Kakashi… no. There've been… reports of… Orochimaru, and-"

"You think I give a fuck about that snake bastard traitor?!"

The pure, unadulterated fury in his voice stunned him. Naruto had no idea why he was so angry. And who was Orochimaru?

The old man grimaced and looked away. "Look, he's a stubborn ass, but, surely, with the village as it is now, he'll come back. I've just got to go track the bastard down and convince him is all. And I'll drag him back kicking and screaming if I have to. So just-"

"No, Jiraiya. No. Minato-sensei is… was your student. You were his teacher. If Orochimaru didn't come back before, he's not going to com back now, just like Tsunade's not coming back. None of them are coming back."

Jiraiya's gaze turned into a glare. "You don't know that."

Naruto found his reply to be quick and demanding, his still too low and unfamiliar voice harsh. "Oh, you think I don't? They don't just come back because you want them to, Jiraiya-sama! My father's not coming back, Obito's not, Rin's not, Sensei's not- your precious people don't get to come back just because you want them to!"

Jiraiya's glare softened, and he sighed, though the pain in his eyes was evident. When he spoke again, his voice was the slightest bit sympathetic, which only made Naruto feel even angrier. "Kid… kook, I'm sorry. But Orochimaru's just-"

"Will you shut up about Orochimaru?! Minato-sensei is dead and you-"

"Why the hell does it matter so much to you that I'm there? I shouldn't be there, Kakashi. A teacher is not supposed to outlast his students. That just means he sucked at his job."

"No, it doesn't. But if you don't stay, then you will have. That'll be your ultimate failure as a teacher." Naruto found himself spitting out the last word in disgust while Jiraiya watched in disapproval. There was a barely concealed pain in his dark eyes, though, a pain that Naruto felt growing in himself with each passing moment.

Jiraiya paused, then averted his sad, sad eyes and spoke again. "…If I leave, you'll be all alone, huh?"

Naruto felt himself stiffen, the pain in his chest abruptly rising even as he felt himself trying to reign it back in. "…That has nothing to do with this, Jiraiya-sama."

Jiraiya chuckled, but there wasn't even a hint of happiness involved. "Jiraiya-sama? What happened to Jii-chan?"

Naruto glared without knowing why. "I grew up. A long time ago."

"Pssh. You didn't grow up, Kashi-kun. You're still the same kid you always were."

The anger grew even worse, and Naruto found himself hating the old man even though he didn't even know him. "It's Kakashi. Not Kashi, and not anything-kun."

Jiraiya raised his eyebrows with a smirk. "Oh? Didn't Minato call you that?"

Naruto pressed his lips together and said nothing.

Jiraiya snorted. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

"Go after Orochimaru if you want, Sannin-dono. But Minato-sensei won't come back even if you bring him home. Tsunade's Dan and Nawaki won't come back even if you bring her home. …No one's coming back." His voice trailed off into a quiet despair, and Naruto found himself swallowing the sudden lump in his throat before he cleared his throat and continued. "You know what? I don't care. Go on. Leave. Skip your student's funeral because you're too damn stuck up or whatever the hell repressed emotion you want to be to stay."

It was Jiraiya's turn to get angry. "Yeah, so says the kid who didn't go to his own father's funeral."

The anger rose again and Naruto found himself wanting to hit him. "Don't you dare compare Sakumo and Sensei."

"Oh? Really? 'Sakumo' now? Since when were you on a first-name basis with your father? And I thought Obito taught you to stop-"

"Sakumo was a coward! Sensei died for this village; he died because he was a god damn coward! Sensei gave up everything to save the lives of every single damn person in this accursed village, and that includes yourself, and now you just want to leave like it didn't even matter, go on some stupid soul-searching shit and write your books and train someone else to die?! Like it wasn't enough that-"

"That's enough, Kakashi!" Jiraiya turned on him, slamming his fist down onto the table, and Naruto wanted to wither back and fade away at the raw power that seemed to emanate from his core, and suddenly, he didn't seem like a harmless old man anymore.

Naruto fell silent for a moment, and he felt his raw anger slowly calm into something controllable, something that wasn't so massive it was frightening. When he spoke again, his voice was no longer trembling with emotion and he didn't sound like a threat. He just sounded… almost like he was pleading.

"You have to stay, Jiraiya-sama. For his son."

Jiraiya blinked. All vestiges of anger drained away as he looked back at him in confusion and worry, a dark look in his eye. "What? Sandaime said no?" he asked, in what sounded like disbelief.

Naruto shook his head. "No. The council did."

Jiraiya crossed his arms gruffly and turned away, shaking his head in anger. "Those sons of bitches. Why? What could their possible rationale be for-"

"I'm in ANBU," Naruto said, and his voice sounded almost bitter. "We lost too many shinobi in Kyuubi's attack. They can't afford to let one of their most feared ANBU resign because… because he 'wants to play daddy'. But, you, Jiraiya-sama… you could. The council won't dare try to order you away; not with your sensei still alive and being the Hokage. Please. If I can't help the kid… Minato-sensei always said that if… if something happened to him and Kushina, that he wanted y-you to…"

And then everything, the house, Jiraiya, the anger, the sadness it was all gone, replaced with a hard ball of unbearable loneliness curled up in his gut, loneliness and a grief that was so intense that it was hard to breathe, and-

"Everyone, pray for Namikaze Minato."

And then his eyes suddenly shut and the mass of sad faces and black vanished, leaving nothing but the sadness. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't. He felt an intense sadness build, along with the unbearable urge to cry.

Suddenly, his eyes opened once again and his head raised, and he stumbled up after a few old people Naruto didn't recognize, the Third, and that old man Jiraiya from earlier as they walked up to the open casket, and then he realized that it was a funeral, and he was about to see the dead man's face.

Naruto felt a cold horror congeal in his chest that, again, wasn't entirely his, growing even harder to breathe the closer he got to the dead man. Before he knew it, he was shaking, and then the Hokage moved on and it was his turn and he started walking and looking down.

The dead man was himself.

Naruto was staring down at himself.

And when he opened his mouth to scream, he did.

The sound of his own voice shocked him so much his panicked yell died in his throat as his eyes flew wide, and he twisted, looking around in utter confusion and fear. He was back in the forest, back in the forest with the masked man with the red and grey eyes, and there were no others, no dead bodies of himself, the cold loneliness wasn't threatening to suffocate him. He let out a relieved gasp, breathing hard, and resisted the sudden urge to vomit.

"Hey. H-hey. D-d-didn't mean t…to… scare y-you. M-my bad."

Naruto jumped at the same voice from before and twisted, his eyes widening when he saw it was the masked man who had spoken. He was still collapsed across the forest floor, but his red eye from before was closed, shut tight, and he looked up at him with only one normal, human eye. He coughed, and Naruto stared when a dark liquid stained his mask. He apologized shakily again as his grey eye crinkled up in a happy arc, almost like a smile, and he coughed again. "C-can you… get help? Please?"

Naruto just stared.

The man coughed again, his smile fading as he reached out, managing to grasp his ankle with a hand that was so hot it almost hurt. "Please. G-get… he…help."

It was when he coughed loudly again, blood clearly spraying the inside of his mask, that Naruto finally managed to move. "Oh my gosh, Mister, hang on! Hang on, I'll get help! Just stay right here!"

And when Naruto jumped to his feet and sprinted, he couldn't help but think the man had tried to comfort him. He'd actually apologized for scaring him.

He hadn't glared at him and scorned him and hated him.

No one had ever apologized to him for anything before.

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat and ran faster.