Javier Esposito was staring out of the window.

He had just woken up - from a long coma - like the doctor had told him. For him it hadn't been different from the wake up after a deep, long sleep.

He had not woken 5 years, she had said, he missed 5 years and he couldn't believe it. She had assured him to call someone, he hadn't asked whom.

A short time later there was a knock and his partner Kevin Ryan entered. Kevin hadn't changed a lot. Except maybe some gray hair at the temples.

"Hey bro, good to see you awake again," Ryan greeted him with a smile.

"Is it true?" Javier wanted to know hoarse, his voice apparently wasn't used to talk.

Kevin took a chair and sat down beside his bed. He nodded. "Javi it's true," Kevin said sadly.

"How did it happen? I can't remember."

"You were in an accident, a drug addict suv driver hit your car at the drivers side. You had several injurys, also serious internal bleeding. Since they brought you her you never woke up again. The doctors didn't know why. They ran all sorts of tests with you, but they have never found out why," explained Kevin.

"What's happened in the meantime," Esposito wanted to know quietly, almost a little afraid of the answer.

"Jenny and I have 2 children, a boy, he is 3 and a 8 month old girl," said Ryan.

Without reacting to what Ryan said Javi stared out the window.

"Why isn't Lanie here," he whispered softly.

The last thing he could remember was that Lanie finally get over her fears and that they were together again and planning a future together.

"She's on vacation ... with her daughter and her fiance," said Ryan.

"Lanie has a daughter and is engaged?" Whispered Javier and Ryan was could see, that this news broke his former partners heart.

"You have a daughter," said Ryan, damn it, he was really not the one who should tell his best friend that, on the other hand had Javi the right to know everything.

"I have a daughter? A daughter who is raised by another?" He looked at Ryan and the Irishman could clearly see the pain in the eyes of his best friend.

"Yes, I ... You must know that it wasn't easy for Lanie, she has found out that she is pregnant 2 weeks after your accident. She was here every day, she was always with you, but I think at some point it was just too much for her. Taking care of a baby and your coma. No one could tell her if you will ever wake up again. Eventually, she had to let you go and to live on," Kevin said softly.

Javier nodded slightly, he understood it, but only because he understood it,didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

"I would like to be alone," he whispered finally fighting back tears.

Ryan looked at him, he really didn't want to leave Javier alone now. "Javier, I really can stay a bit longer," he objected.

"Kevin go, please," Esposito squeezed out from between clenched teeth.

"Okay, but I'll leave my number you can always call me, day and night," Ryan said as he stood up.

Javier nodded and turned away from Ryan. As the Irishman reached the door, he heard a faint sob, he turned around and saw the body of his best friend shaking. It broke his heart, but he knew that Javier was serious when he said that he now wanted to be alone, so he closed the door behind him with a heavy heart.

Later in the day his mother came by.

"Javi, I'm so glad that you woke up," she said brightly and wrapped her son in her arms.

"Where's Dad?" Javier asked, after they had come out of the embrace.

Maria took the hand of her son. "Your father died 2 years ago," she said quietly.

Javier had to swallow, he didn't want to cry again. "How," he asked softly.

"He had an inoperable brain tumor. He went to the doctor because he always had a headache and sometimes he almost fainted. 5 weeks after they discovered the tumor, he was death," Maria told softly.

"How are you?" Javier wanted to know quietly.

"At first it was hard, but you learn to live with it. And now that you're awake again, I'm a whole lot better," explained Maria.

"Mama do you ... do you know Lanie's daughter?" Javier asked after a moment of silence.

"How do you know about her?"

"Ryan was here before. Do you know her? What's her name?" He asked urgently.

"Her name is Maya and of course I know her. She's my granddaughter and Lanie always wanted that the little girl also spends time with us. I look after her once a week," Maria told.

"That's good. Does she know who I am? I mean, does she know that I exist?" Javier asked and his mother could hear that he was afraid of the answer.

"Oh Javi, it's not easy, she is only 4. She knows that there is someone that her mom visits from time to time in the hospital, but I don't think she realizes that you're her father. For her Jason is her dad and even if I don't like saying this, but he's a great father," explanied Maria.

Javier looked away when a tear ran down his cheek again.

"I would have loved to be a great dad for her," he whispered, before he turned away from his mother and pressed his face into the pillow to hide the tears he couldn't stop.

"Javi, I know," his mother whispered also close to tears as she stroked his back.

"Please leave me alone," Javier whispered with tears-choked voice.

"Okay, I'll come back tomorrow," agreed his mother and ran her fingers through his hair again.

"Can you bring me some clothes and ... and photos of Maya? "

"Sure," she said goodbye and squeezed his shoulder briefly before she left the room.

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