In your hands

Prologue

"Sometimes lives cross each other, without a special meaning, without a special reason. You think it may be because of pure coincidence, but it's not. So it seems as if they just happen to meet but because of this one peculiar moment, anything you knew can change. For the worst and for the better. Nothing is actually predicted and nobody can foresee the things happening. Your choice is what is leading you on one way of your destiny until you learn to understand the meaning of it all." The gentle voice of her mother washed over her while a rough and bony hand warmly brushed her black hair out of her face. The child had no idea what her mother was talking about.

Little did the child know that after this moment her mother would never be talking to her ever again. Her words, on the other hand, were going to accompany the child forever as well as the feeling of her mothers tender hand on her head.

xXx

Chichi watched how her belongings were brought away by strangers in blue uniforms, while she thought about the last sentence her mother had said to her before she had died peacefully in her sleep.

Her eyes were dry and red as she had cried permanently the last few days. Since her father had died she hadn't been able to pay her fees anymore. Her salary wasn't enough to hold up the status she was used to have as her father had been a rich salesman and had supported them financially completely. Chichi had had no troubles whatsoever. Until she had found him lying on the ground, icy cold and unmistakably dead.

They way his blank eyes had been staring at her was imprinted in her brain like a permanent tattoo.

The police had said it had been suicide. He had killed himself with drugs and alcohol, was what they had told her. Chichi was the only one not believing it. Naturally. Her father hadn't been someone who would have drowned his sorrow in liquor. He had been smiling…always, had been content with everything and he always had had hope…he would have never killed himself. Ever.

After all the things that had happened to Chichi, her friends had turned away from her, her spirit had been broken and she had learned to be alone.

But now, after four months trying her best to survive, even her own house where she had grown up in inclusive her private things were taken away from her. She had nowhere to turn to, nowhere to go.

Except one address she held between her shaking fingers…

Anything she could carry, anything that she had pushed into her bag, and the things she wore were her everything now. She never had felt so hopeless in all of her twenty-two years.

"Miss, we would like to close the door. Could you give us your key?"

Chichi's head snapped up and she looked with her sad big brownish eyes into the face of a round man with a pimpled face and yellow eyeballs.

"I'm sorry. What?" she was paralyzed. The words she heard had sounded strangely hollow.

"I said, we're going to close the door now. And we need your key." The man licked his lips in anticipation and scratched his butt in the process lazily. He really was a gentleman. The sarcastic thought had left her brain before she could think about it.

Chichi gazed at the small cold material he was talking about and weight it in her right palm. Memories flashed through her brain before she hesitantly gave the key into the awaiting hands of this awfully nice guy right before her.

The worker shortly closed the door, took the key into his pocket and left in addition with his three colleagues without another word, and Chichi was on her own again. Said one stood before the wooden door and felt another tear stroll down her cheek. With her fingertips she caressed her home for the last time before she slowly turned around, her bag clutched between her hands, her heart as heavy as stone.

Her goal? A direction she couldn't tell.

About thirty minutes later she sat down on the bench of the nearest bus station and took out the little paper she hid inside of her pocket ever since. That was the note her father had held in his hands as she had found him dead on the ground of their living room months ago.

Well, ex-living room.

Nobody knew she possessed it, she hadn't told the police about it. Her father had clutched it dearly that day, and on the other side of the paper he had scribbled down her name. So this note was obviously meant for her, although she couldn't really guess what her father wanted her to do.

She sighed as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Well, she needed a place to go to. And a motel was out of the question because it was way to expensive for her; her monthly salary was already gone because she had paid for the funeral and all the other things; more than a third of her savings was gone as well.

So she was broke.

But going to the place of a stranger just because her father recommended it? Would that be a wise decision? Well, maybe he or she wasn't really a stranger because he or she had known her father?

Watching her wrist-watch she noticed suddenly that it was way beyond the last bus to come. God damn cheap public transportation means! Cursing under her breath she lifted herself up and gazed right and left before she decided to walk a direction, still unsure if it was the right thing to do. Dawn had already past and the first signs of the night were glimmering above her. She was lucky a warm breeze was still lingering in the air. They had a pretty warm September this year…

When she actually got to the place the address was leading her to she looked at a rather modern apartment-block. Gulping she read the numbers 301, her father had written down in his writing manner. He always had used to write like a robot, Chichi remembered smiling, then sighed.

301. Maybe a good sign: her birthday was on the 30th of January…

Her knees were shaking and she felt embarrassed due to the fact that a lot of passersby crossed her way and looked at her in a funny way. As if she was…well…lost. Breathing in and out deeply she told herself, more than ask wouldn't hurt. If this somebody had talked to her father then he or she knew why she was here. If not, she could still leave. Yeah right! She told herself. Don't be a coward and just do it!

Her feet were still shaking like crazy when she stood before the apartment door 301. The black massive door made her feel even smaller than she already did. She gulped once more, brushing one more time over her face lightly as if to make sure she had some color in her face. Lifting her finger slowly she pushed down the button and waited. The sound of the clock could be heard from the outside, it echoed through her ear heavily.

When she suddenly heard big and wide footsteps, her fear began to take over. What was she about to say? Why hadn't she thought about the way to greet? Maybe it was a bad idea to have come here…she turned her body to leave.

And the door opened a little.

"Yeah?" a male voice questioned while one black eye glanced suspiciously at Chichi. She stopped midway in her tracks. Her throat felt dry as she swallowed down audibly, trying to make out the facial expression of the stranger behind the door. With big and unsure eyes she stammered: "He-he-hello. Uh…my name is Chichi Ox… and uh…" she looked to the side. How was she going to explain to him, that she had his address from her father who died - by the way - not long ago and that she didn't really know why she was here anyway?!

"How may I help you?" the man wanted to know friendly, maybe because he saw she was not dangerous at all. His eyes analyzed her from head to toe. Yet he didn't open the door fully.

"Well…" Chichi tried to start her explaining. "Uh….you see…my father gave me your address…" she fumbled inside of her pocket and searched for the little paper. "…well, it was more like I found it..but he was having it and…uh…." She closed her eyes to scatter her mind "…uhm…what I want to say is that….uh….I think you…may be someone my father wanted me to meet…so now I'm here and…" she looked at the eye she saw through the slit in the door, her heart beat fanatically. He was so silent, Chichi thought it was his way to decline her plead. "…I don't know what I'm doing." She sighed defeated. "Maybe it's better if I leave. I'm really sorry for taking your time…"

"You said your father gave it to you?"

Chichi turned around again, as she already had gotten three steps away from him. She nodded slowly. "Yeah…he held it in his hands when I found…when I found his…" she couldn't talk any further as the pictures of his body came across her mind again. Water automatically exploded from her eyes and she watched in shock how the tears poured down and colored the ground she was standing on dark. "I'm sorry…I…I don't know why I'm crying…silly, isn't it." She hiccupped while brushing over her face over and over again. And here she thought she had cried enough already!

"Are you alone?"

She shook her head yes.

"Do you have a place to go to?"

She shook her head no.

A sigh and the door opened. "Come on in, girl."

Her disbelieving eyes couldn't get any wider. She sniffled and hiccupped her last sobs down as she saw how the door widened and a man with unruly black hair and a rather friendly yet tired facial expression showed her the way inside. His grey shirt clung to his wide torso like a second skin and his blue trousers hung lazily from his hips, covering his legs completely until only his feet were seen. He was barefoot.

With his head he motioned her to follow him inside, then he turned around and went away. Chichi hurried with little steps after him and closed the door once she was fully inside. Her heart pulsated right trough her as she watched her surroundings. His apartment looked rather empty; it didn't seem very neat either.

"First door to the left!" he explained her the way to his living-room. Chichi followed his command and glanced around the corner, never letting go of her heavy bag. He was sitting in a black wide couch, his elbows on his knees, his gaze entirely on her. She just stood there, her head on the ground. She felt awfully out of place and kind of unrequested.

"Sit down." He offered her and ruffled through his hair, sighing in the process. His head flopped behind him and he massaged his temples. He looked rather stressed...Chichi was immediately conscience-smitten.

"So…" Chichi wanted to break her silent state while uncomfortably sitting down. "…what now?"

He didn't even look at her while ignoring the question. She felt a bit dumbfounded and played with her fingers nervously.

"Show me the note." He demanded tiredly and Chichi reached over to give it to him. When her fingers brushed his, she noticed his rough hands and followed with her eyes his arm up to his shoulder and back down again. Her face heated up and she looked down as soon as she noticed what she was doing. Her emotional state was really unstable right now.

Hearing him murmur something to himself, he caught her attention back.

"I'm sorry if I'm…uh…troubling you in any way. I just wanted to know why my father gave me your address. I'm going to leave as soon as possible, I promise."

The gaze he shot towards her silenced her immediately. It wasn't that he silenced her out of will, but his onyx eyes were so deep, Chichi feared she would bite her tongue in the process of saying something while looking into them.

He scratched his chin. "I can't remember giving my address to anyone the last few months. But either way, you have it. And I can't let you go alone out there. It's past 10.00PM, going out now could have you killed."

"But…" she protested, not knowing what her "but" should consist of.

"You can sleep in the spare room I've got."

"But…"

"You have nowhere else to go to, right?"

She nodded slowly, unable to look at him. "That's true, but still…"

"Then it's decided. You can stay here until we know why you even are here. I know it's sudden and staying at the place of a stranger must be completely new to you, but you don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. You have a reason why you are here, do you not?"

"I'm…not sure, actually." She admitted sadly. He smiled at her and stretched his back a little.

"Then why not staying until you know? I don't mind."

"But…" why was it that this word was haunting her today?

"Don't concern yourself with it, it's absolutely no trouble, if you think that. I'm Goku by the way." He reached his hand out and smiled reassuringly what calmed her down. A small smile escaped her lips as she grabbed his big, rough and warm hand and squeezed it halfheartedly. She had no other choice but accepting his offer, right?

She had no idea what was going to happen to her from now on.

The words of her mother popped up in her head automatically and Chichi had the nostalgic feeling of reliving the moment of her childhood once more right before the death of her mom.

She had the feeling her whole life would turn 180° from now on.

And she was absolutely right about that…