Author's Note:

A big, special thanks to Papa Bear for geographical assistance on some points of this chapter.

I apologize immensely to the subscribers for the delay on these updates. Many thanks for your patience and your readership.

This began as a collaborative work, but the co-author has since discontinued work on this piece. The characters will be markedly different than they were previously as this project is now mine alone.

Thank you.

The author claims no ownership to the characters, settings, or events from the television series Glee.

Approximate words this chapter: 5,000

Friday June 19, 2020
Measuring Day

"Hey, anything I can get for you while you wait for everyone to show up?"

Paul's voice distracted Dave's attention from the framed photo displayed on the built-in shelf on Paul and Camille's living room wall.

"No, Dad, I'm fine," Dave replied, smiling and somewhat quieter than his father's question. "Do you and Camille need any help?"

Paul smiled and shook his head.

"Nope. Everything's under control in the kitchen."

"Well, I'm here pretty early, though Kurt could arrive at any time now. His flight was supposed to be landing at two o'clock, and it's almost three now. And John had an afternoon landing also, though I think it was a little later."

"They're both coming by cab?" Paul asked.

"Yeah. Kurt sometimes rents a car, though I'm not sure how long he'll be staying this time, maybe just the weekend; and I'd normally be picking John up at the airport, but I kinda wanted to be here to man the door when the guests arrive, being that you and Camille so graciously offered your house so we could all get measured. And you're including dinner as part of the deal."

"My son's going to be getting married, and I'm very happy about that," Paul spoke as he reached his arm around Dave's far shoulder. "There's not much I wouldn't do to facilitate the event. And you know how your stepmom and me love to cook and entertain."

"Yeah, yeah..." Dave nodded.

"And we enjoy having all of your friends around, and of course Camille's son and his boyfriend."

"And some of Camille's other friends are coming for dinner also, right?"

"Yeah, we're gonna have a house full of people for dinner," Paul nodded.

"And I'm sure dinner's going to be awesome," Dave commented, "I mean, it smells awesome."

"So, what were you up to when I walked into the room a minute ago?"

"Ah," Dave nodded in the direction of the photo on the shelf. "I was admiring the picture from you and Camille's wedding."

Paul smiled, small but genuine. The photo was taken immediately following the ceremony. Paul and Camille were at the center of the photo, holding hands, while the couple was flanked by Dave on Paul's side and Jonathan on Camille's.

"Everyone looks so perfect in that photo," Paul remarked, "That was such a happy day for me."

"Me too," Dave chimed.

"And we all look so incredibly happy. That day, I married someone I love very much, and you were my best man, someone else I love very much."

Dave nodded and was about to further Paul's comment when the doorbell sounded.

"Sounds like somebody's here," Paul alerted.

"Yeah, I'll get it," Dave spoke as he stepped quickly toward the door.

On his approach, he could see Kurt outside on the doorstep with a messenger bag and a laptop bag slung over his shoulder.

"Good afternoon, Kurt," Dave voiced as he flung the door open and motioned for Kurt to enter.

Kurt stepped into the entryway and reached his arms around Dave.

"You're getting a hug, big guy, whether you want it or not."

Dave laughed, exhilarated. "Why would I complain about that?"

After embracing for a few seconds, Dave stepped back, visually taking in Kurt's appearance.

"You look great, Hummel!"

Dave wasn't exaggerating nor merely being polite. It had been over two months since he'd last seen Kurt, and Kurt's appearance struck Dave.

"Thank you!" Kurt chirped back. "Well, I have been putting my last few months of singleness to good use. I've been working out when I have the time, and I can't deny that I'm pleased with the results. You look delicious as ever too!"

Dave laughed, a nearly embarrassed huff. "Hey, c'mon in and say hi to my dad."

"Sure thing," Kurt agreed as he followed Dave into the living room.

"Hey, Dad, you remember Kurt?"

Paul addressed Kurt directly as he entered the room. "Yes, of course! But it's been, what? Ten years?"

"Eight actually," Kurt answered. "Dave and I hung out the summer after we graduated. I'm sure that's the last time you and I saw each other."

Paul nodded as he took Kurt's right hand in a friendly handshake.

"Good memory. Well, I'm glad to see you again, Kurt, Welcome to my home."

"Thank you," Kurt smiled, bright for a moment before verbally stumbling, "Um... uh."

"Oh, call me Paul!" Paul answered sounding like he was scolding Kurt in a joking manner.

"Okay, Paul, nice to see you again after all these years."

"David tells me that you're the guy who's gonna have us looking great for the wedding."

"Definitely," Kurt spoke with authority. "I am taking it on as my personal mission to make David's wedding-party attire the flagship statement of the formalwear company I represent."

"How can I argue with that?" Paul barked as Kurt and Dave both chuckled in unison.

"Well, I'm gonna let you two young men catch up while I go see if Camille needs me in the kitchen," Paul spoke as he swiftly walked toward the adjoining halway. "And, I'm going to drag her out so she can meet you too, Kurt!"

"That's great," Kurt called out in Paul's direction. "I can't wait to meet Dave's stepmom!"

"She's awesome," Dave spoke to Kurt in a more conversational but no-less sincere voice.

"Y'know, it just occurred to me," Kurt mentioned. "I have a great stepmom too."

"That's right," Dave dropped his jaw in an open-mouthed smile at the realization.

"So, our wedding clothes are gonna be your flagship statement?" Dave spoke, intentionally exaggerating Kurt's earlier euphemism.

"Well, sure," Kurt expanded. "Pizzazz Formalwear is branching out into a new wedding-specific line called Pizzazz Unite."

"Ooh, catchy name," Dave remarked.

"Thank you," Kurt spoke, affecting smugness, "I came up with that name myself."

"I like it!"

"And the Karofsky-Kelley wedding is our first official project."

"Wow," Dave spoke, sounding excited, "Now I really feel honored."

Kurt exhaled and his expression began to calm.

"So," Dave began again. "You said you've been working out? Did you join a gym or something?"

"Oh, no," Kurt's voice dropped dramatically in pitch. "With my busy schedule I'd never find time for that. I'm just doing old-fashioned stuff: push-ups, sit ups, stuff like that. I improvised a pull-up bar beneath the staircase at my apartment in New York."

"Those kinds of exercises will get you there, I mean I can see a difference."

"Good, I hope?"

"Definitely," Dave nearly exclaimed after a brief pause.

"I'm cursed with never being able to gain weight," Kurt brooded, affected.

"Well, believe me, a lot of people wish they had that problem."

"Yeah, I know that, but I never seem to gain weight, so the most I can hope for is that I can get it to distribute better."

"It's working, I can definitely see it. And you're kind-of unshaven. I can see that too."

"Yeah, well, I kind-of like the way it looks on me, but I don't always like the way it feels, so it's probably coming off tomorrow."

"It looks good, Kurt," Dave offered, nodding. "The slightly scruffy face suits you. Oh, speaking of tomorrow, how long are you in town? Just the weekend? I mean, I'm still surprised that you made the trip all the way from New York just to get our measurements."

Kurt smiled and shook his head, and exaggerated nonverbal negative response.

"Don't you worry. I was able to work this trip into my business interests, and I'll be staying until next Sunday evening."

"Oh, that's cool. What's on your agenda this time?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows momentarily and rolled his eyes as if to consciously feign and expression of nonchalance.

"I'll be apartment hunting."

"Whoa, no way," Dave's face threw an expression of surprise.

"Mm-hmm," Kurt nodded, exaggerated again. "My people in New York have settled upon Portland for the first Pizzazz satellite-store, and it'll be going in on the ground level at Pioneer Place Mall, on the corner of Third and Yamhill, right next to the jewelry store."

"Ooh, swanky."

"Indeed," Kurt acknowledged with an air of playful self-importance. "And they have put me in charge of the whole operation, so you and I are going to be living in the same city."

"Congratulations, Kurt. That's just incredible, but, hey, is that all the luggage you brought for a week's stay?"

"Oh, no," Kurt dismissed. "I checked into my hotel room before coming here. The rest of my things are there."

"Hey, maybe we can be running buddies after you get all moved in."

"I could totally go for something like that," Kurt smiled, genuine and nodded, an almost childish happiness appeared in his eyes.

"And I'm planning to do some house-hunting this week also, and I'm not going to let John weasel his way out of it this time. Maybe we could all collaborate, hang out, and look for places together."

Kurt smiled and laughed, but it was markedly somewhat hesitant this time.

"I was checking some places out earlier this week," Dave began, not noticing the visible shift in Kurt's mood. "There were so many great places that I had to pass on because I couldn't flag John down to get him to look at them with me, but this time, I'm gonna drag him out if I have to. He'll be here for five days, until Wednesday. We should be able to agree on something by then. There are a couple of nice places I scoped out in the Sellwood neighborhood, but I'd also really like to live in North Portland by St. Johns Bridge and Cathedral Park. Damn, I'm tired of living in a space where I'm surrounded by boxes. Oh, by the way, did you bring your copy of John's book so he could sign it for you?"

Dave recognized the lack of response from Kurt. He addressed Kurt's face directly, and was ready to speak when Kurt began."

"David, can we talk? I mean, really talk?"

"Sure," Dave's expression shifted to one of mild concern. "Are you okay? Is something up? What's up?"

Kurt silently steeled himself for a moment before he continued.

"David, sometimes I come off as the sarcastic, loudmouthed, insincere, gossipy gay guy, the kind that every even-slightly-trendy girl wants as a best friend. I know this, but right now, I'm being serious."

"Okay," Dave's response was dramatically measured for a single two-syllable word.

"David, are you sure that this is what you want to do? Are you sure that you and John are right for each other?"

"Yeah!" Dave face twitched on one side as he delivered an immediate answer. "We've been together for five years!"

"I don't mean to offend you, David, so please don't take it that way, but amount of time spent together isn't necessarily something to base what should be a lifetime decision upon."

"Geeze, I know." David was silent for a moment before continuing. "I know how I feel."

Kurt nodded.

"David, um, I see you as a really good man, and I'm speaking as a friend here. Forgive me if I'm inclined to be protective of you on some level. Forgive me if I've come off as insulting or disrespectful. I really care about you, and I just want to make sure that you feel you're doing the right thing, and that you're going to be happy. And, of course, I don't want to see you get hurt."

Dave shook his head slowly.

"I'm not offended or insulted. I appreciate your concern, and, I guess, thanks for looking out for me, even though I think it's really unnecessary."

"David, I saw that TV show."

Dave rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that kinda worked against everything, didn't it?"

"It's just, you and him didn't seem right together."

"Uh, it was a bad day for him, okay? I just gotta chalk it up to that."

"And it was an isolated thing? Because, quite frankly, he was acting really weird. I don't think I acted that self-absorbed even when I was sixteen, and you know what I was like when I was sixteen."

"Yeah," Dave's voice calmed. "We have had some other, um, talks which weren't exactly comfortable, but I think it's the stress of this movie thing getting to him. When that's all done, and it is scheduled to be done by the time that we're married, I'm sure things are going to go back to the way they were a couple of years ago."

"Okay, David," Kurt nodded, appearing satisfied in Dave's answer. "That makes me feel better."

The sound of the front doorbell pulled Kurt's and Dave's attention from the weight of their conversation. They both sprang to the entryway to see John standing outside, appearing nervous and fussy.

"Hey, John," Dave greeted as he opened the door, "C'mon in."

Kurt summoned a smile and greeted John likewise.

"Heya, Dave. Um, hi... Kurt." John's words were marked by some preoccupation as the three men shuffled slowly into the living room, John at the front of the group.

"Hey," John turned, addressing Dave directly. "Um, Dave, can I talk with you, um, in private. Is there somewhere we can go?"

"Uh, yeah," Dave spoke, accommodating. "We can go downstairs to the game room. That's where Kurt will be measuring everyone later."

"Okay," John huffed and quickly made a beeline for the stairs.

"Sit tight, Kurt," Dave spoke over his shoulder as he followed John's path. "Let me see what this is all about. Probably a minor meltdown over something fairly insignificant. I'm sure we won't be more than a few minutes."

Dave descended the stairs quickly. The gameroom was partially darkened even in mid-afternoon, but there was sufficient daylight coming through the few small foundation-level windows. Dave could see John standing in the center of the dimly-lit space: his hands were in his pockets, and he appeared jittery.

It struck Dave that, probably for the greater part of two years, he and John didn't act like people in a typical relationship do when they reunite after periods of being apart: they didn't throw their arms around each other and greet each other with elation in public. Actually, they almost never acted that way, even in the earlier part of their time together, so the greeting process, even for a couple with betrothed status, seemed normal for Dave and John; but this feeling today was marked by that same distance in an unfamiliar way.

And, of late, John's demeanor had become progressively unpredictable: John's appearing on-edge at the present moment was a typical manifestation. Dave would have liked to believe that John's unpredictability, which seemed to begin the previous summer, had achieved critical mass, but the television interview situation being exceeded by the Seattle book-signing imposed a palpable uncertainty upon Dave.

"What's goin' on?" Dave spoke, conversational and quiet, even inviting, open. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

John shook his head quickly as Dave approached closer, raising his head from its downcast direction but not meeting Dave's eyes with his.

"I... I, I can't do it. I can't marry you. Not right now."

Dave's forehead creased slowly as his eyes narrowed.

"Why not?" Dave's words were less inviting than earlier: hushed but delivered in a low pitch, a darker gravity.

"I can't, okay?" John's eyes finally met Dave's with a defensive expression. "I feel like I'm being pushed into this by everybody."

Dave's face soured.

"Who? Who's pushing you into this? Who's everybody?"

"Um, just, like everybody. Katie and Scoop, and, well, our friends."

"That's bullshit, John. You and I were at our apartment alone when I proposed to you, and there was nobody coercing you to say yes, but you did."

"Okay, well, maybe it feels like you're pushing me into this."

"Bullshit again, John. What's this really about?"

John let out a loud, anguished breath, too labored to be a sigh, and turned away from Dave, stepping away slightly.

"It seems like, ever since that TV thing, that's all people have been asking me about when I meet them. It's like I can't get away from you."

Dave snickered at the absurdity of the statement.

"Oh, then, you're right. You shouldn't be married to me if you don't want people to associate the two of us. That makes complete sense."

"It's not as simple as that," John's voice raised. "You're making this a joke, and it's pretty serious."

"It doesn't sound like you're taking us very seriously here."

"It's just that, I really love being your boyfriend, and being together with you feels right, it really does. But I never really dated much, well, you know that."

"Yeah, and you were fine with that five years ago and four years ago, but sometime between then and now, you realized that, what? You could do better?"

"No! Geeze, you're still oversimplifying this. I don' think anybody could have been better for me than you."

"What? Like when we suddenly started to click after the first neurotic couple of dates we went on, when I was still okay with seeing you after you were a class-A fuck-up? And when your buddy left you without a place to live? Yeah, I guess I was the right guy at the right time. And me encouraging you to write? That worked out pretty well for you also. But, I guess, since then, what? You've realized that you have some romantic marketability or something?"

"God, you make me sound like a whore."

"A whore would be a little more forthcoming about this than you are, and, at least with a whore, I'd have known where I stood the whole time."

Silence was thick for a moment. John swallowed, the gulping sound was almost absurdly loud in the heavy quiet.

"I know what this is about," Dave spoke finally, quiet but with a air of certainty, nodding, a revelation. "You're still that fabulous karaoke guy with a princess complex trying to amass a posse of fanboys. You think that now you can maybe find that fairy-tale romance you were so stuck on when we met. You want to be put on a pedestal and be dressed up and adored like a china doll or something. Well, good luck to you on that. You've convinced me. I'm done as of now."

"Wait! You're breaking up with me?"

Dave smirked, holding back a full-on laugh.

"You expect me to wait around and be your plan-B while you figure out how exactly bankable your princess-potential is? You are a whack-job. How long are you gonna be in town?"

John shook his head and breathed out a reply.

"Five days. Till Wednesday."

"Okay, good. You have that long to get your stuff out of my apartment."

"Your apartment? I thought it was our apartment."

"Yeah. It's my name on the lease, not yours. All your stuff has been boxed up for a couple of years anyway, so you should be able to accomplish getting it out of there in five days' time."

"Dave," John whined, almost pleading. "So, what? You're doing the same thing to me that Gene did five years ago?"

"Dude, back then you had nowhere to go and you weren't financially stable. Now you have the money to put your stuff in storage and get yourself an apartment or crash with some of your movie-business buddies in LA. No point in dragging this out, and if, after five years, you're not going to be part of my life, it's probably a good thing if we both take this opportunity to move on. It might have taken you a couple of months, but I'm glad that you at least had the courtesy to tell me before we made any major investments on rings or reception arrangements. Or before I quit my job."

John inhaled, loud, wordless, as Dave continued.

"Oh, and you can have your new agent, whoever that might be, contact me and I'll forward them all of the necessary contact information and all of the unfinished, work-in-progress stuff that's been going on for the past few years. It'll get a lot of clutter out of my life."

"So, you're not going to be my agent either?" John spoke, less excitable than earlier, coming to grips with the scope of the situation.

"What planet are you living on? I have a day job, one that I really like. Working as your agent came out of necessity, because, when we were together, your problems and needs were mine also. That necessity is gone."

John raised his eyes to meet Dave's. He was nodding, a physical sign that he understood the situation, but his face was void of emotion.

"I hope you told your cab to wait for you. The clock's ticking and you have a lot of moving to do in five days."

John nodded quickly, addressing Dave's face momentarily, turning and hastily jogging toward the stairs. Dave backed himself toward the couch and lowered himself to sit on the armrest; he felt a strange, angry exhaustion. He could hear the sound of the front door being opened and slamming closed.

He sat alone for a time in the darkened gameroom. It wasn't long, probably less than a minute, but to Dave's present state of mind, time was not quantifiable.

"David? Is everything okay?"

Dave raised his head to see Kurt at the foot of the stairs, silhouetted against the light from the upper level of the house.

"Can I come in?"

Dave nodded and spoke, quiet. "Sure."

"John just left in a hurry."

"Yeah. Anyone else up there see him leave?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, just me. What's going on?"

"There's not going to be any wedding. In fact, John and I are done."

"David, I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I'm mad. You knew it was done, didn't you? That's what you were getting at when we were talking upstairs before John showed up."

"I didn't know anything. I just had a feeling that maybe things between the two of you weren't right."

"I guess it's no shock to me either. I guess that's why I'm mad and not busted up over this."

"What are you mad at, David?"

"I'm mad at me," Dave's voice rose above the quiet, nearly-whispered speech in which they'd been conversing until this time. "I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid, David. You're a smart guy, a really smart guy."

"I'm dumb when it comes to people, okay?" Dave was loud, indifferent to the consequence of alerting others to his voice. "Maybe I assume too much out of others, or maybe I'm delusional about how others feel about me. Maybe, despite what I tried to tell myself about how I should be playing the field back when John and I met, maybe what I really wanted was to have someone to share my life with, someone who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Maybe I'm just crazy to get married off or something, and maybe I'm willing to jump at the first thing that I think is available to me. I mean, look at you and me on Valentine's Day during our senior year of high school. That was the personification of a delusional mind, huh?"

"David, no," Kurt's voice raised, polite-though-nearly-scolding. "Y'know, people look for all kinds of different things in partners. Sometimes that changes over time, and sometimes that doesn't. Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that we should want something other than what we really want."

"Huh," Dave's voice calmed to a rough, low-pitched tone. "I wasn't the guy John wanted early-on. Then, I guess he felt connected to me because I looked out for him. I never once considered his presence in my life to be compensation for what I did for him, though. Or at least I think I shouldn't have. And maybe that's why I'm mad. Because it felt right for a while, and I don't feel like I'm being overly possessive or anything. Was it wrong that I told him to take a hike?"

Kurt shook his head. "I don't think so. Honestly, every time we've talked in the last couple of years, David, it seemed like you were committed to what you had with John, but I didn't see evidence of that from him. His, um, romantic relationship with you seemed to have ended some time ago, but your relationship with him ended a few minutes ago. But, then, I barely ever met him, so maybe that's not a fair statement."

"No, I think you're right, and why couldn't I see that? That's why I'm mad at myself."

"Sometimes when you're in a relationship, you can't see the forest for the trees. Sometimes it takes a person on the outside to see it."

"So, why didn't Scoop see it? Or Katie or my dad or Camille?"

"I don't know, David. Maybe because they watched it happen from the beginning. Your friends and your father really want you to be happy. You are loved. That is very evident. Maybe they were as invested in your relationship with John on that level as you were. Because you were."

Dave made a deflated, hissing noise as he exhaled, raising his eyes toward the ceiling.

"That reminds me. I'm gonna have a house full of people who are expecting to get measured for wedding clothes, and I'm gonna need to tell them that there isn't going to be a wedding."

Dave's face broke into an exhausted smile, perhaps the result of the absurd futility of the situation.

"It's good to see a smile come back to your face," Kurt noted, beginning to smile himself, "Even if it's a default reaction resulting from the lack of an appropriate expression."

Dave laughed. "It's better than being mad, I guess. And it's way better than being devastated by this."

"Despite the fact that you invested a lot of time and effort in this, David, it's not worth being devastated by," Kurt's confident tone warmed. "And you have a really great smile, so my gratification in seeing it is not a completely altruistic thing, I guess."

"Why, you little mercenary," Dave spoke, playfully accusing.

"Hey, you gotta enjoy the good stuff while you can get it, right?"

Both Kurt and Dave snickered before Dave's face sobered slightly as he spoke again.

"I don't know if I remember what it feels like to be single. I think it's gonna be culture-shock."

"Honestly, David, could it really be that much different than the last couple of years have been for you?"

"There's some brutal honesty," Dave huffed a breath of laughter. "No, I guess not."

"Besides, I made that transition earlier this year, and I think I did pretty well with it. And, it came out of the realization that, regardless of the wild attraction of a stage-performer's bohemian lifestyle and despite the fact that I love hopping around the country on the business-trips which my job requires, what I really wanted was to settle down. I think it's what I wanted all along, even though I tried to convince myself otherwise."

"That sounds kinda familiar, actually."

"So, are you still up for going apartment-hunting with me?" Kurt asked, sounding playful but sincere.

"Sure. We can start tomorrow. June twentieth. First day of summer."

"Now that John's moving out, are you still going to be looking for a new place for yourself?"

"Yeah, I want a change of scenery and a different neighborhood," Dave spoke, sounding clear, almost optimistic. "I mean, with my job, I can afford it, and I've had my eye on a few places. I'd be cool with having a roommate too."

Kurt smiled, small, to himself. "That does sound kinda cool."

Closing excerpt from Blessed Blundering of Two Bears and the Cosmic Summer: An Informal Manual on Dating Gay... or a Worst-and-Best-Case Scenario, at the Very Least

Author: John Kelley, published by Streetwalkin' Cheetah Media, 2017

So, what is the cosmic summer? A string of events? A beginning? A transition? An isolated, idyllic moment in the time-table of life? And where does this leave Jimmy and Don?

Remember, Blessed Blundering of Two Bears and the Cosmic Summer is an instruction manual, a hypothetical, a primer for the real thing. Jimmy and Don have had their journey in the words of this writer and in the minds of you, the reader. It is entirely incumbent upon the reader to take their own journey if they should wish. After all, Jimmy and Don are just names in a book; and as much as any reader can think, gee, these guys are just like me, they're not.

Now, go out and have your own life-changing cosmic summer, fill your book with extraordinary happenings. I can guarantee, it's better than reading about them.

Once again, big thanks to Dr. Glitterbear for the geographical assistance.