It was still hard to tell whether or not she was glad that she'd finally exposed all of the skeletons in her closet. She couldn't deny that she felt a bit better than she had since all of it had happened. But now that it had been revealed, it wasn't easy to shut it out anymore. In fact it was impossible. That door just wouldn't close anymore, it was blasted to splinters. There was no denying either that Seras had been in some form of denial all this time. But now that she had spoken about it, it had exposed it. Not just to him, but to herself as well. For so long she had went along her daily life just letting herself pretend she was okay until she made herself believe it.

She had once read somewhere that there were five stages to grief. The first of them were denial, denial which she had felt when Letti's house exploded behind her. It seemed that, that denial had remained though. It had never actually passed by even as she went through the other stages. The second stage was anger and she'd had plenty of that when her parents were murdered before her eyes. Even when a numbness overtook her for a while, that anger remained. She became detached for a long time. Disbanded her gang, took odd jobs and slept in motels. It took nearly running her fist through a mirror in the motel she was staying in to get her to snap out of that stage. She hadn't been able to look at herself in the mirror anymore and nearly broke one when she looked up and saw her reflection in the bathroom.

Third stage was bargaining which she'd bypassed in favor of depression for a time. Being numb and detached after a crying session in that motel bathroom. That was when she started to do things on auto pilot. She didn't feel a thing anymore, no anger, fear, sadness, not even hunger. In it's own way that was worse than anything else. She was just...empty. She didn't even care that she was getting weaker by the day from malnourishment and dehydration. She didn't care when she walked down the same street of her childhood home. She would even stop there and look at that house from time to time and not feel a damn thing. She'd just blankly stare at it, some part of her wanting to feel something, but just couldn't. Not even staring down the barrel of a gun had done anything to her until Uncle Henry saved her. Then she became overwhelmed. As if all the emotions she hadn't been feeling were coming in all at once.

She'd had to be admitted to the hospital shortly after she was nearly mugged. She had gone without food and water for too long and it was truly a wonder that she hadn't collapsed. That's what the doctors had told her anyway. She was there for two weeks, being visited regularly by Henry when he could find time after work or on days he had off the beat. By the end of the second week she could eat soups and drink water again, the following week she was back to more solid foods and was finally released from the hospital. They had reprimanded her the whole time she'd been there for not taking better care of herself, she'd even been put on suicide watch for a time. But they hadn't had to see her for the same thing again, she had snapped out her funk..well at least that stage of it.

The bargaining stage was late, but came all the same. She prayed every morning and night while at the academy, making a deal with whatever powers that be that if she could somehow get through the academy then she would get everyone she loved back. That she'd wake up to find it had all been just some long, horrible nightmare brought on by a fever or something. She had really believed that she'd get what she asked for too. Even with set backs when she failed at a certain course or exercise she would just push herself that much harder. She ended up graduating valedictorian after making it through the academy and when she laid down for sleep in her new apartment she believed she'd wake up a child again in her old bed, in that old house.

It went without saying that didn't happen and she sank right back into depression. Unlike before she didn't sink so low as to stop taking care of herself. She even did such a good job on the force that she even convinced herself she was fine. There was still a slight bit of numbness that hit her though. She would laugh or smile but not fully feel the happiness like she once would have. She would frown or be displeased, but not feel the full extent of it. She would eat and drink, but wasn't hungry and thirsty. But still she convinced herself she was just fine. Even when she had to have a glass of wine every night to help her sleep. Even when she woke up and didn't feel rested and the sun seemed to be too bright and stung her eyes, making her have to use sunglasses. Not even when she started to feel more tired all the time, but still couldn't sleep and when she became easily distracted.

It didn't really click for her that she wasn't fine, that she was depressed and in still denial until that last night when she'd exposed her darkest secret to the count. Then and only then did the final stage finally find her.

Acceptance.

It hit her with all the force of a wrecking ball last evening. They were really gone, she really wasn't getting them back, and she'd let herself cling to the denial for far too long. Her heart had literally began hurting the night before and it seemed it had almost done more damage than just making her sob. According to the count her heart had began to beat irregularly and he had to coach her to take more steady breaths. It seemed to be hours of her getting her sobs under control so she could inhale for five seconds and then exhale another five. But it had worked and she was okay. Still quite a bit sad and even angry with herself, but that was better than where she had been for a certainty.

It had been too much for her last night though and she'd ended up exhausted by the time she got her breathing under control. But when she woke up that morning she felt rested for the first time in a long time. It made her wonder if he had done something to help her. Maybe keep the nightmares away with some kind of power or something? Who knew? Either way she was feeling more like herself, better. She even managed to smile and truly feel the satisfaction that hadn't really fully hit her when she looked at that chair again on her way to her dining table.

"One: Dracul, Hellsing: Zero.."

A chuckle told her that the count was up before he even appeared around the corner. She grinned at him before taking the bit of meat off her fork and chewed. Seemed he had heard her again, must be nice having vampiric hearing.

"Evening, Vlad," she greeted as she picked up her wine and took a sip.

"Good evening to you as well, Seras."

Was his accent thicker this evening? She couldn't tell, but the effect hit her nonetheless. Her body gave a little shiver that she hoped was a little too subtle for him to catch. But his grin grew wider as he took a seat opposite of her and she knew that she was foolish to hope for such a thing. Of course he'd catch it, he probably saw every little shift of color in her irises. She shook it off anyway and went back to her meal and he watched her eat for a minute or two before pulling two more blood packets from his pockets. She stared at them quietly, wondering where they came from. She knew from their previous discussion in her kitchen that he didn't get them for himself and she knew for a fact she hadn't gone out to get them either.

"Quite disconcerting is it not?" he asked and she could only nod as she lifted her eyes to his.

"Any ideas about where they're coming from?"

"I suppose it could be the vampire that was trying to hypnotize you. But if so would it not be poisoned?"

It made sense to her, besides Vlad the only one that would know she'd need that in her apartment was the other vampire. But if it was in fact the other one then wouldn't it be poisoned? Vlad was in it's way of getting to her. Unless this was some kind of peace offering or something. 'I'm sorry I tried to steal your prey please take this as my formal apology'. That's probably exactly what she looked like to another vampire too. Or it could be that the other vampire was just trying to make it seem that way and have Vlad comfortable enough to stop checking and just drink it, then poison him. A strategist's and manipulator's move.

Vlad nodded in agreement to her thoughts as he picked up the packets and stared hard at them. Another vampire would know that he needed blood, what if it tried to sneak something in there this time? Wait.. If it could sneak blood in then..

She looked down at her own food, suddenly more reluctant to eat it. What if it was contaminated with something? If the other vampire really was a strategist then it might have a back up plan. If Vlad didn't go for the blood being supplied by it then the next means of feeding would be from her. Was she eating something she shouldn't be? It seemed Vlad wasn't going to just brush the theory aside when he stepped over to her side of the table and bent down to closely examine her meal. Her hands shook as she lowered them from the table and onto her lap, staring at her plate and watching him from her peripheral.

"I smell blood, old blood. His most likely, but it seems because you thoroughly cook your meat that the blood lost it's power."

It was still more than enough for her mouth to go dry and her stomach to turn. She pushed the plate away from herself and shot to her bathroom as her stomach heaved. She just barely made it there and shut the door.

Seras could practically feel Vlad just outside the bathroom door even after her stomach was emptied, the toilet flushed, and she rinsed out her mouth. When she got her shaking under control was when she opened the door. Sure enough, there he was looking down at her with concern. She offered him a smile she didn't feel like giving and moved past him into the living room where she plopped down on her sofa. He sat down beside her, not making a sound aside from the cushions shifting. She knew he was waiting for her to say something and felt grateful to him once again. Even if it was only because her thoughts were a jumbled mess, he was probably hearing it like dozens of radio frequencies all trying to come in at once.

"I...I just can't stomach it.. I mean this strange vampire is somehow getting in my apartment without either or us knowing. He's contaminating my food with his blood, which makes no flipping sense by the way if he's trying to poison you. I don't know how much I even ate of-" She had to pause there to swallow thickly when her stomach churned again in defiance of her thoughts. She practiced regulating her breathing like what she did last night and only when she was sure that she could speak again without dry heaving did she continue. "I don't know how much of...of that is in me right now. Is it all contaminated?"

Her heart sank when he nodded in confirmation and she groaned as she slid down the cushions and folded her arms. It wasn't just going to be as simple as throwing all of that food out, the other vampire could just contaminate that too. And she was not going to eat anything with his blood in it, period. But it still made no sense to her. Why on God's green Earth was it trying to make her eat it's blood if the goal was to poison Vlad?

"It is not to poison me, but to force a bond on you."

She could have sworn her heart stopped right then and there as her entire body went stiff. It made her gut rebel once again and only when she realized she was holding her breath did she release it and begin to breathe normally.

"Force a- Why?!"

"I do not know my dear. My first thought was that he intended to prey upon you. But this is different. It's as if..."

She had a feeling she didn't want to hear what he was theorizing, but she still couldn't keep herself from turning her head and looking at him inquisitively. She had a feeling she knew exactly what he was going to say and prayed she was wrong.

"It's as if what?" she asked, hating that her voice sounded as quiet and small as it did.

It seemed he was reluctant to say it too when he looked at her with hesitation. She could tell he didn't like what he was about to say either.

"It's as if he wants you to be a bride or a mate.."

Just as she'd been afraid of. He had said the exact thing she was hoping and praying he wouldn't say. She had somehow caught some other vampire's attention and now he was trying to force some moves on her without her being aware. Now that she was thinking about it, she had noticed that her food had a different taste lately. Subtle enough not to cause alarm and just shrug it off, but noticeable enough to slightly tell. And she had been thinking she'd just imagined the different taste or her taste buds were changing or something!

"Is there some way to keep it from happening..?" she asked more calmly than she was feeling.

"There is two.."

She perked up at that. "What are they?"

"You have to be pursued by a more powerful vampire. Or the other one must be slain."

"Great..." She deflated, leaning heavily into the cushions again.

"Thankfully for you Seras, you have seemed to have your eye on another vampire for quite some time."

Her eyes got wide and she felt her cheeks heat up. She should have known letting him see that part of the tape would come back to haunt her. She hated being embarrassed so she snarked back the only way she could think of at that moment.

"Oh bite me!"

"Gladly."

TBC...

AC: How does that foot taste Seras dear?

Seras: F*** you!

Alucard: *Grins* If you insist.

Seras: Eeep!

AC: *Waves to readers.* I hope you liked the chapter, you know what to do lovelies~

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the OC's which have appeared and will appear in the story.