"Fionna! Grab my little paws!" Cake's paws extended outward from the magical mass of cat and bat. Fionna tugged on Cake's paws, effectively releasing her from Marshall's grip. He lost his balance and fell forward onto one of the many spears that were jutting out of the soil with a sickening splat noise. He squeaked in pain and shrunk down to his normal self. There he lay, impaled on top of the mausoleum. His breathing was shallow and pained.

"Marshall?" Fionna quickly picked herself up and dashed to him.

"Oh, this is bad guys." He was almost whispering. Fionna frantically clambered up the side of the mausoleum. Cake followed after, and they both knelt down beside the wounded vampire. "This is really bad." The sun began to rise.

"Marshall!" Fionna sat there, astounded. What could possibly have prepared her for this situation? There was a wet blotch forming around the spear on his shirt. As the sun's rays began to find their way over the landscape, Marshall's skin simmered. He exhaled weakly. Cake stretched around him to block the light. Fionna leaned in closer. "Come on! You gotta be okay!" Marshall squinted at her and gave a feeble chuckle.

"I think this is it for me, Fionna. So…" He gasped for air. "…Why don't you just admit it? You're in love with me." She gasped, and sadly, slowly bowed her head. She inhaled, trying to keep it together.

"I get that you flirt with me all the time, and it's funny and whatever," Tears began to flow. "But you're doing that now?!" She grabbed the sides of her hat, practically bawling. "What are you trying to do to my head?! You think I've got some little crush on you?!" She blinked away a few tears. Marshall was taken aback. "Well, for whatever time we have left… FOR ONCE DROP IT, YOU FREAK!" This had gone too far. Marshall shot up, and removed the spear as fast as he could.

"Faking it. Faking it!" He threw away the spear and unbuttoned his shirt. "Okay, my shirt is like, filled with cream puffs!" They leaked out with a goosh noise.

"Oh, Goodness!"Cake stopped holding her breath. Fionna stared on in disbelief.

"Glob, Fionna." He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "You're like, the realest person I've ever met!" Suddenly her fist collided with his cheek. " AUH! MY CHEEK-MEAT!" He grabbed at the red spot on his face. Fionna had snapped. She raised her fists, crying and laughing. "Quit clownin', Fionna." She came in closer and closer. "Fionna? FIONNA!" She continued to hit him, laughing away.

"The end." Marceline crossed her arms. A collective din of approval emanated from Slime, Toast, Wildberry, and Turtle Princess. Ice king threw up his arms in disapproval.

"Ohhh, Come on! You guys got mad at me for a bad story?" He walked over to where Marceline was floating. "I mean, it's cute, but…That's not how they'd be!" Marceline growled a little."Look, it might not be too late to polish this piece. Let's spitball some ideas! Like… if Marshall Lee gets sick and dies. But, he's got a brother we didn't know about! His name's… Marshall…Lee…roy. Boom! Shocker!" He felt Marceline's leg, which was sorta creepy. "Ahhhh, I feel goosebumps!"

"I like how it is." Slime Princess set off another round of praise from the princesses. Ice king's face grew into a frown.

"Everyone get out." The princesses and queens sauntered away from the castle, murmuring about the story. He sighed and turned to me. He continued toward the stairwell, no doubt to worship his Fionna and Cake shrine. Piles upon piles of books collected there. He had enough time to himself to write them all, I suppose. I'd spent enough time around the guy to know that it was probably best to let everyone else handle him right now. I was really sick of this guy's whining. He was always blaming stuff on us. Ice King wasn't really one for creativity. I mean, look at our names.

The 'Fiona and Cake saga Volume Five' laid there on the ground beside his throne. I absent-mindedly flipped through it. It was definitely and interesting idea, and now it had a fanbase of five. Unless the author counted. Ice King was obsessed, but you don't need me to tell you. The story started off pretty well, but he didn't seem to get that you can't just randomly add yourself as a character in the story. Phasing out of the book? Did he truly believe that someone as awesome as that would instantly think him a 'cool rad guy'? I felt sorry for him.

He had spelled the title on the cover wrong. He had terrible printing. Half the time I couldn't tell what was going on. The spelling, grammar, punctuation, and vocab were appalling. Many of the events were uncoordinated and unconnected and random. He was really doing his characters injustice.