Copyright Danny Antonucci and produced by a.k.a. Cartoon. All band names and lyrics Copyright of their respective owners.

"I passed through that corridor, where they sat, where they are, and when you penetrate to the most high God, you will believe you are mad. You will believe you've gone insane. But I tell you if you follow the secret window and you die to the ego nature you will penetrate this darkness."
Godspeed You Black Emperor was whispering from Marie's iPod as she lay in bed, and stared at the ceiling. She had been in high school for three years, and it has been a big disappointment. When she was in middle school, everyone was talking about it. They made it sound exciting. But now that she has been here for three years, it has lost all of its appeal. The Eds were still here but she hasn't talked to them for a couple years. Her sisters still lived with her but they had their own lives and were kind of detached from her. Day in day out, it was basically the same thing. She went to school, came home, and sat in her room doing whatever her attention was on at the time. She missed middle school. She wanted to have friends again. Well, she wouldn't call the Eds friends, but they were at least entertainment. Especially Double D. She found it cute how he froze at the mere presence of her. She started to avoid physical contact when she found out it made him lose consciousness. As nice as it was to have a boy faint over you, it wasn't good for his health. [Yeah, because I totally cared about his health at the time... sigh, he most likely hates me for all the stuff I've done to him] she thought. He was the only Ed she could see herself talking to. If she ever did talk to them again. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, and dream about the good times she once had.

The next morning, she woke up and went to school. There was a group worksheet in class that got interrupted by the teacher announcing a late transfer student.
"Class, I would like you to meet Edd. He just transferred in from a regular science class because of a scheduling error."
She assigned partners to everyone and then assigned the "new student" to Marie.
"You still live here? I thought for sure I'd scared you off with all the times I've forced myself on you." She casually reminded him of the old days.
"Uh, y-yeah. I'm still here." Double D stuttered out.
Neither of them said anything else during the rest of the class, and just finished their worksheets.

The rest of her classes were all with random people, so she didn't really look around. After trudging through 6th hour, she was finally going home. [Not really sure if he is scared of me or just hates me. Who am I kidding? It's probably both] she thought as she walked up the stairs to her room. [well, here I am again… same four walls… same bed… different day…] she sighed and fell backwards onto her bed, letting the sound of "Fade to Black" from Marie's iPod wash over her; she almost always had it on whenever she was not at school. [Life does seem to be fading away. Kevin, Nazz, Rolf, even that weirdo Johnny have moved away. And now with my sisters off to college, I have no one left.] She thought. The longer she listened to the song, the more it seemed to describe her life over the past 3 years. She was slowly falling into a trance from the song's slow pace, until it disagreed with her.

"Death greets me warm, now I will just say 'good bye'….good bye…" the iPod sang firmly. [NO. I cannot give up. If I am ever to get out of this void, I have to be strong. After this year in high school, I can go to college and rejoin my sisters. It will be a start, at least.] She pulled herself out of her trance and paused the iPod. She decided to go to the store to get some orange juice; there was none in the house, and she needed to go grocery shopping anyway.

After a few minutes of walking around in the store, she decided she didn't feel like grocery shopping. She went to the juice aisle to get what she originally came for; [I'll come back later sometime for the rest] she thought as she reached for the usual bottle of orange juice. At the same time; another hand had reached for the same bottle, but recoiled as if it touched hot coals. She looked to see who it was and saw that it was Double D.

"First you switch into my class, now you're trying to steal my orange juice?" she teased him.

"I… uh… s-sorry." Double D forced out; he was blushing slightly and seemed to be shivering.

"Take it easy, kid." she said lightly as she walked away with the bottle in her hand. As she was handing her card to the cashier, she saw him slowly emerge from the juice aisle and walk towards the register.

When she got home, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat down to finish her homework. It was just a simple "what I did over the summer" essay. [This is so middle school…but whatever] she grumbled mentally and got to writing. She quickly discovered, however, that she had almost nothing to write about. All she did was sit at home most of the summer and listen to her iPod. She went to the pool a couple times and drew a couple pictures, but it wasn't anything worth writing about. She decided to write about it anyway, just to kill some time. It only took her a few minutes to write down everything that happened over the summer, and only made her mood worse than it already was. She unplugged her iPod from the computer and decided to take a walk. She walked outside and went straight for the forest in the back of the trailer park; her usual place to escape from the park, the cul-de-sac, and everything else. She walked past a tree that had a heart scratched into it with "Marie 3 Double D" on the inside. [Oh, Lee. You and your stories of how me and Double D get married and move to the big city.] She smiled as the memory of Lee scratching the heart into the tree floated through her mind. The memory got interrupted, however, when it got to the part of Lee starting on Double D's name, by her tripping over something on the forest floor. She turn around, expecting to see a tree branch or a root, but saw Double D, now a bright shade of red, sitting leaned against the tree.

"You again? Are you following me?" Marie asked; she was mostly neutral when he was around her, but she did not feel like company in her current mood.

"I… sorry… I just c-came out for some fresh air. I didn't think I would…" Double D trailed off.

"Whatever. Just don't let it happen again." She grumbled and continued walking in the same direction she was going.

It was getting dark, so Marie decided to head home. It took a little longer than she thought because she didn't fully know where she was at first; she got lost listening to her iPod and didn't care to watch where she was going. She finally got home, but it really didn't help her mood. There was no May or Lee to call her a "party animal" or ask if she was out with anyone they knew. She walked to the fridge to get another glass of juice, but noticed there was some liquor inside the door.

"No food in the house, but you have liquor? When we can't even legally drink? Only you, Lee." Marie smirked as she took it out of the fridge door.

"Screw it, I'm getting drunk tonight. No sense in this just sitting around, especially with May and Lee gone, no one else is gonna drink it. And it's not like I'll have guests over that are of legal age. Hell, not like I'll have guests period." She scoffed as she poured herself a shot. She wasn't much of a drinker, so she decided she'd had enough after her second shot; it was straight liquor, and it was only her second time drinking, so it hit her pretty hard. She put the bottle back in the fridge and sat back down on the bar stool to level herself. After zoning out for a few minutes, she decided she was going to go prank call some people; it was possibly the best thing Lee showed her. She picked up the phone and dialed Kevin's number, forgetting that he moved out of town during her sophomore year.

"The number you have reached is either disconnected or is no longer in service." a monotone voice squawked through the phone. She dialed Nazz's phone number but got the same result.

"Bah, I don't need phone numbers. I can make my own." she grumbled and hit a random set of numbers.
"Oh wow, it's actually ringing." Marie was surprised that her drunken dialing actually guessed a real number.

"Anotucci residence, Double D speaking." an all-too-familiar voice answered the phone.

"What do you want this time?" Marie slurred.

"M-Marie? Is that you?" Double D asked nervously.

"Yeah, it's me. Howid you get nis thumber?" Marie was starting to lose control of her speech.

"Marie! I never would have thought you the type! You're intoxicated by way of illegally consuming an alcoholic beverage. I hope you're alright." Double D sounded genuinely worried.

"I'm fine. Won't you durry." she vainly lied.

"I'm coming over to make sure you don't hurt yourself. Or God forbid, drive somewhere." Double D told her and hung up.

"I'm fine, really." Marie told the dial tone.

"Oh. He hung up. He should know better than to lang up on a hady." She mumbled to herself as she hung up the phone. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door.

"Lee, can you get that?" Marie called, but didn't hear an answer.

"Oh… right…" she got up and lumbered towards the front door. She unlocked the door and went to sit on the couch.

"It's open" she told her guest. Double D came in and locked the door behind him.

"Come sit with me, Doublededed." Marie invited him to the couch.

"It worries me to see you like this, Marie. Is everything alright? Where are May and Lee?" Double D asked.

"What do you need them for? I've got everything you need right here." Marie boasted in slurred speech as she leaned towards Double D; she consequently lost her balance and fell on him. Her lips fell onto his and her tongue seemed to free fall into his mouth. Double D was paralyzed and blushing so intensely he was radiating heat. Marie finally got up, letting Double D breathe easier.

"Wow, it's suddenly hot in here." She said as she took off her shirt. Double D's eyes widened to their limits.

"Marie! What are you-" he started to protest but was interrupted by Marie's shirt landing on his face.

"Shut up, I'm not gonna sweat over some nerd boy." she grumbled. She retained balance for a few more seconds then fell on Double D again. After a few minutes of slowly shifting under the force of gravity, she fell on the floor next to the couch. Double D waited for ten minutes for Marie to get up again, but no dice. He took a blanket off of the back of the couch and covered her with it.

"Well, that's all I can do. I'll check up on her tomorrow." Double D sighed and went home.