Another Walmart story

Alice's Pov

Chaos filled the store. Mike Newton had fainted from fright, this guy was running away from Emmett who was dressed like one very ugly girl, an employee was rocking back in fourth in the fetal position, muttering about muscular, flat chested women on their period, the manager and all the employees were looking for a snake… that they were never going to find, Bella was having a conversation with herself with three different accents and me you ask, well, I'm tormenting Newton more then we already had. But wait, I'm being rude! You don't know what's going on so let's go back an hour so I can explain.

[One Hour Earlier]

"Bellaaaaa! Please?" I whined and she shook her head, stubbornly

"If you do this I won't take you shopping for two weeks." I offered and she agreed, rather excitedly… well how rude! So we got Emmett, came up with a new list, decided who was gonna do what and got the hell out of dodge… and boredom and booked our asses to Walmart. Now, I know what you're thinking 'Walmart? You all got banned from Walmart' but that's what's fun about it, we're gonna have to sneak around and cause mayhem. Let the games begin and let the hottest vampire win… so I'm going to win!

We snuck into Walmart and took out the list and Emmett decided to go first. He walked up to this guy and said "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god, it is! I haven't seen you in FOR-EV-A!" Emmett said in a high pitched girly voice before grabbing the back of his head and kissing him- and I don't mean no peck on the lips! I mean a full on kiss- before pulling back and slapping him, asking "Why didn't you ever call me?" and strutting away with his hips swaying like a girl with the guy staring after him, with his jaw to the ground and his eyes bugging out before mouthing to himself 'What the f*ck?' and shaking his head before walking away. It was Bella's turn next and she walked down a crowded aisle and 'checked out' a hot blonde girl

"Mah, oh mah, look at the ass on that chick!" She said loudly in a southern accent and whistled before turning her head to the right and sighing "Most you be so ghastly?" She asked herself in a British accent as everybody in aisle looked at her like she was crazy- finally it's not me! -

"Why yes I most." She answered back to the southern accent "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbuckes and git a cawfee!" She exclaimed in a New York accent

"Will all of you just shut up?" She yelled, grabbing her head and storming out of the aisle and back to us

"Okaay then, my turn!" I exclaimed, jumping up and down, clapping my hands and put on a trench coat and sunglasses before walking up to this man browsing in the men's department and leaned close and said "The rooster is in the nest." And he turned and gave me a 'are you crazy' look- seriously why do people keep doing that? - before asking me "What you talking about, Willis?" I subtly handed him a cap gun

"Use this wisely. Roger is out." I whisper, giving a two finger salute before walking out of sight and taking off the coat and glasses as he spun around, unknowingly pointing the gun at a mannequin, looking for me and I came back out in to view.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled and everybody looked at me weirdly as I ran

"Why is she running and yelling in slow motion?" The man asked and everybody shrugged as I tackled the mannequin to the ground before pulling both of us up and brushing myself off before standing there, tapping my foot, waiting "What? No, thank you? How rude!" I said before huffing and stalking away… how rude indeed! As I was walking back to Em and Bella, I got a vision of Mike Newton in the toothpaste aisle and a doll that looked like the girl from The Ring in the toy section before coming out of it and I smirked coming up with the perfect prank… as long as it doesn't scare him to death cause I'm sure they'll find some way to blame us for that. I got the doll and a walkie-talkie and ran- at human pace- to Em and Bella and told them the plan, Em was all for it but Bella no, no, she had to complain about it. God, she's so much more fun when she's hyper or drunk!

"I just think we've traumatized him enough, with what we did to him last week." She told us oh yeah that was frickin hilarious

[Flashback]

It was a dark and rainy Friday night and we were looking at the scariest, ugliest, would have nightmares about it if we could, thing possible and that thing was… Mike Newton in pink, fluffy bunny pj's. Anyways we sitting outside his house in our car, watching him through the window waiting for the opportune moment for our prank and it had come. The idiot had decided to watch The Ring by himself, in a big, empty house. Can I get a "moron" please? So the movie ended and I called him and we watched him jump and scream, girlishly before answering it.

"Seven days…" I said in a creepy, raspy voice and he screamed and dropped the phone before hiding behind the couch as I snuck in his house with a long, wet wig on and a white, old fashioned night gown that had a hidden camera attached. I stood in front of him with my hair dripping on him and he looked up and screamed when he saw me before his eyes rolled back and he fainted and I burst out laughing. Later that night we posted it on YouTube and it went on to get over a billon hits.

[End Flashback]

I shook my head as I came out of the flashback and rolled my eyes

"Come on Bella! The worst that could happen is it'll scare him to death but there's only a 30, 40% chance that'll happen." I told her and she gave me an incredulous look before sighing and giving in when she saw the stubborn glint in my eyes and I squealed, clapping my hands before we taped the walkie-talkie to the doll, put the hair over her face, activated the walkie-talkie and placed it on the shelf where Mike will walk past in three, two, one and… now

"Seven days…" I said in a creepy voice and Mike screamed and looked around only to scream and stumble into a shelf when he saw the doll, wetting his pants before getting up and running away "I'll find you!" I yelled after still with the creepy voice

Emmett ran up to a male employee with his legs crossed and squeezed together with tomato sauce trailing behind him and some on his pants and yelled "I need some tampons!" at the poor man who looked shell shocked before snapping out of it

"But Sir, a man can't get a period." The man told him gently, shaking slightly

"HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M A MAN JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE BREAST AND AM MUSCULAR!? I WILL BE SPEAKING TO YOU MANAGER ABOUT THIS! NOW, GET ME SOME TAMPONS, BITCH!" Emmett roared at him and the poor, poor man shook like a leaf before shakily grabbing the tampons and giving it to him and flinching when Em grabbed it.

"Thank you, cutie pie!" Emmett said, sweetly giggling like a girl before pecking him on the cheek and skipping towards us and the guy went into a fetal position, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. We were trying to decide who would go next when Newton walked by us and Em and I turned to each other and smirked and I- using vampire speed- ran up to him and whispered in his ear "Seven days…" before running back to where I was before and we watched him shriek and jump, looking around before shakily walking away and we busted out laughing when we saw the brown spot indicating that he shit himself. I pulled out my phone and texted him and we watched as he jumped, read the text and screamed making the brown spot get bigger before he ran off to the bathroom and we started laughing even Bella couldn't help it.

"What did you text?" Bella asked still laughing and I chuckled

"I texted, 'You might want to check your pants. Ps: I know where you live, bitch. –S' I got the idea from that great show Pretty Little Liars." I told them and after a few seconds Bella went up to this old lady and ran her hands all over her body while singing: You can't touch this, and the old lady gasped before hitting her with her purse and started chasing after her with all the while yelling at her.

"Go away, crazy old bitch!" We heard Bella yell and turned to each other and shrugged before Emmett picked a few items of clothes and went to the dressing rooms and when he came out I busted out laughing. He was wearing a sparkly, pink mini dress that showed off a lace g-string and pink pumps, that looked like they were going to snap any second, to complete the look. He went up to the poor guy he had kissed earlier and asked very seriously: "Does this g-string make my ass look big?" the poor guys' eyes bugged out again before he nodded very slowly and Emmett started 'crying'

"How could you say that to me!? Who asked you anyway!? Oh, I know, you said that because you want all this but you can't have it, well, guess again! Come here, baby!" Emmett exclaimed, holding out his arms and the guy screamed before running like a bat out of hell with the hell- otherwise known as Emmett- chasing him. I shook my head and went to go find Bella and after a few minutes I found her hiding behind a sofa. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her, pushing her towards a woman. She went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, clearing her throat and the woman turned to her

"Have you seen my pet snake, he slithered away and I can't fin- Hey! Where are you going!?" She yelled as the woman ran away, screaming about a snake on the loose which caused everybody else that heard her to panic and run too

"She's running it's what normal people do when you tell them there's a snake on the loose. Idiot." Bella scoffed in a southern accent again

"How would you know what normal is? Oh and if she's an idiot, then what the bloody hell are you?" She sneered in a British accent once again

"Gawd, when am I gawnna get my cawfee!?" She asked, nasally in a New York accent, I rolled my eyes and they landed on Mike Newton and I smirked before going to the woman's section and getting a long old fashioned white night gown and a wig before running at vampire speed in front of Newton and walking towards him, with my head tilted and he screamed and backed away, his heart picking up "I'm the little girl from the Well… I've been waiting…" I said in the creepy, raspy voice before stretching my hands towards his neck, slowly and he screamed and fainted as Bella came running up

"Alice!" Bella exclaimed and I rolled my eyes

"Relax, he's not dead… he's just unconscious… and possibly traumatized for the rest of his life. No biggie!" I said and looked around at the chaos filled store. Okay so now that you know the whole story we can get back on track. So in all the chaos Em, Bella and I sneaked out and went home and Carlisle and Esme never found out about.

No one's Pov

Later that night after all the chaos was over, the police, security and the manager were all sitting in his office trying to figure out who could have possibly have done all that when he got an E-mail and it read: You wanna know who did it? Mike Newton. You want proof? Click on the link. Your welcome! Xoxo –A, and when he clicked on it he found videos of Mike Newton doing all the things that lead to chaos. Now we know he didn't do it but shh they don't need know that.

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