Epilogue

It had been nearly two months since Fitz had last seen Olivia at Camp David. He couldn't keep her out of his head. He thought about how he moved on top of her body, firm and urgent. He thought about the taste of her skin. He thought of the steady stream of her tears as she asked for his forgiveness. That image haunted him.

Olivia had asked him to see her as she really was and to love her anyway. He went over everything he ever knew about her, all the interactions they ever had. The picture he drew in his mind was of a warm, brilliant and loving person. He tried to align that with the image he had been building of her for the past year; one of an ambitious manipulator who wanted to win at any cost, and that just didn't make sense anymore.

He thought about all the times he had done her wrong as well, all the way back to the first time he asked her to give her heart to a married man. And when she finally broke down those barriers and told him she would wait for him, he deliberately cheapened what they had by calling her his mistress and telling her he didn't want her anymore. He just wanted her to hurt as much as he did at the time. After finally finding her in his arms again after all of those years, he lied to her and told her that his overwhelming need to connect with her body and soul was just an uncontrollable physiological response. The pain in her eyes was what he was seeking, but it did not make him feel any better, and now it filled him with enormous regret.

Did Olivia really agree to the election rigging because she just wanted him to be happy? He thought of Verna's last words to him, "You made us love you. You made us so devoted to you with your charm. We would do anything for you. We sold our souls for you." Was he responsible for compromising Olivia's very soul?

She made a mistake, and it cost people their lives. But God knows he had done the same. When she asked him to trust her again, it terrified him. How could he trust anyone enough to let them know who he really was? What he was really capable of? For the past year he had tried to drown the image of the life leaving Verna's body with a bottle of Scotch. What would Olivia think of him if she knew the truth? Maybe he could ask for her forgiveness too, to love him in spite of everything as well.

She said that she still loved him, even after all that had happened. He actually started feeling a little more hopeful. He started to devise a strategy to win her back. He tried not to worry that she said that she wouldn't come back to him if he let her go that night. He would make her understand that he needed some more time.

He asked Tom to make arrangements for her to be brought to the White House that day. He would lay it all on the line to her, tell her the truth about Verna and ask for her absolution. He'd ask her to forgive him for hurting her, to marry him after he cleared up the mess of his current marriage. In the late afternoon, Tom returned to the oval office, but without Liv. Fitz felt a yawning sense of foreboding as he looked at Tom's flustered face. Tom explained that they had gone to her office and that the name had been changed to "Harrison Wright and Associates." Her former employees were not forthcoming with information other than Olivia had left and was not coming back. "We don't have all of the facts yet, but we have reason to believe that she's left the country, sir."

He felt like he was drowning. She's really gone. What a God damn fool he was not to stop her that night. She had warned him not to do it but he was too caught up in his own pain to heed it. All he wanted now was to feel her in his arms, tell her he loved her and that he was sorry. Despite everything, somewhere in the back of his mind he always thought that they would find each other again. That she would wait for him to get his act together. That she would tell him he's not a monster and that he deserved her love. He saw the years stretched before him without her in them and he felt a soul-crushing sense of hopelessness.

She was really gone and it was too late to do anything about it. He watched as the day turned into night outside his window, never feeling so alone.

No, it wasn't too late. He wouldn't allow that. He would find her again. He must. They were meant to be together.

He started making plans.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for encouraging me in this story. If you want to find out what happens next, read The Fall. It is now complete.