Gently massaging his temples, Draco silently accioedhimself another bottle of firewhiskey and poured himself another glass as he cursed the two chortling morons rolling around on his couch. On the left, Blaise Zabini was struggling to breathe as he clutched at his stomach. On the right, Pansy Parkinson's attempts at speaking were interrupted by a myriad of giggles so she'd given up speaking altogether and kept on laughing away.

Draco was not amused. Here he thought the two would be supportive and help him through the mess he found himself in. Instead, he ended up halfway drunk and sulking like a toddler while the two idiots he called his best friends were having a good old time at his expense.

A week ago, he would have loved all the attention the media decided to bestow on him. He was quick to sour to that idea. Damn Liza, and damn his stupid plan.

"She's your WHAT?" came the shrill shriek and Draco winced as the woman's voice drew the attention of passersby to the trio.

"My fiancée. When did you become so hard of hearing?"

As he said this, Draco also took a proper look at the dumbfounded woman before him. She hadn't changed much in the months since he'd last seen her. Her long, blonde, hair was styled to perfection and her face was impressively made up to highlight the flawless features she was always quick to boast about to anyone who had the misfortune of meeting her. Her attire was the same as always: short and indecent for a serious workplace like the Ministry but made of only the most expensive material in fashion; commanding attention from anyone that glanced her way. In short, she was the American female version of him.

The snarl the tall woman before him let out made him want to cower behind the frowning petite woman still trapped by under his arm at his side.

"Where in the hell did you get a fiancée? You were with me not even five months ago."

Draco more so felt, rather than saw, all eyes snap towards them as the blonde banshee's voice rose in volume. He didn't need to be a seer to know this wasn't going to end well for him. The gossip would get around and this conversation, or at least a distorted version of it, was going to end up front page news. Could nothing go easy for him for once?

"It was eight, actually. Seems as though your memory's gone, along with your hearing," Draco sneered.

As Liza seethed in front of him, he continued. "As for where, Hermione and I have known each other since we were children, right love? We're working together you see, and we decided it was far past time for us to go on suppressing our feelings for each other. This one's loved me since we were thirteen –"

A particularly painful jab from her elbow made clear Hermione's displeasure but she wasn't speaking up yet so he took it as his cue to keep going. "And I decided not to waste any more time denying how attractive I've always found her and asked her out. And well, no surprise we were ready to be married within a few months. Isn't that right, love?"

Hermione's sharp nod was her only response but her blank expression and the slightly wrinkle of nose told him he was in for it the second she got him alone.

"There is no way that this...this is who you've decided was fit to be the next Lady Malfoy. If I know anything, it's that your father would not let someone like her get her claws into you. This filthy little bitch can't hold a candle to me or anyone in our society. Besides sweetheart, it's quite clear all she loves about you is your money. Probably can't eve-"

"Excuse me? Look, I don't know who you are and – to be quite frank – I could not care less. But I won't stand here while you insult me and compare me to the likes of...well, you! I'm only going to ask you once, sweetheart, to hold your tongue if you know what's good for you. I can guarantee that if you carry on, you'll not be too pleased with me."

Short, sweet, to the point, and threatening. Draco wasn't afraid to admit he found it hot seeing his partner verbally beating someone down.

"Maybe you should care. Or didn't you hear that your...fiancée," she made a face after she said the word but didn't stop talking, "was screwing me not too long ago. You think you're good or attractive enough to hold his attention? Face the facts, sweetie, he'll drop you like a bad habit the minute the next big chest on legs walks in front of him. You're dreaming if you think he'll settle for you. In fact, I'm more than sure he's already got a little piece on the side."

Letting out an angry huff, Hermione removed his arm from her and stood up as tall as she could. The sight was comical, since she was nearly a head shorter than Liza, but Draco was sure now was not the time to entice her anger by laughing. He was in enough trouble with the brunette spitfire; he was not going to add to her ire.

"Maybe you need to face a few facts yourself sweetie," Hermione seethed. "I don't care what you and Draco had before he and I were even together. As for him dropping me, I think I'm more than able to keep his attention...unlike you it seems. What, were you really surprised he didn't stick around after you, what is it you Yanks say, opened your legs for him. But then again, that's the only thing a two-bit whore like yourself is good at doing."

This time, he couldn't resist letting out a small chuckle but he was thankful both women were too preoccupied trying to kill each other with their eyes. If he didn't fear for his life – and the fact that she would make sure he couldn't have children if he tried – he would have kissed her for that gem.

"How dare y –?"

"No, I've had enough of this conversation and if I'm around you any longer, I won't be responsible for my actions. I'm tired and this encounter has been the proverbial cherry on top of the shitty desert life has decided to treat me to this week. All I have left to say to you is stay away from my fiancée!"

Turning to him, she finished. "I'm heading back to the hotel. Finish up here and, when you get back, we are going to have a little talk, love," she ended sarcastically.

Without any warning, she apparated away. Damn Granger and her temper. Did she not think through that her little plan would leave him with the woman he was trying to get away from in the first place? He had to talk to her one of these days about letting her temper get him stuck in another uncomfortable situation. He had just gotten over the nightmares from that bar in Romania.

"Well, as nice as this has been, I must get going."

"That's it? That's all you have to say to me?"

"What more do you want from me? I made it perfectly clear months ago that I didn't want a relationship with you. And I made it clear that anything we had was over the night I left your flat, remember?"

"Draco, you kept coming back to me for two years. Two years! Do you really expect me to believe that you've decided to settle down with that frumpy bitch after telling me for years you didn't want a relationship? Please Draco, I'm not stupid."

"What didn't you get when I said I didn't want a relationship with you? I never did and never will. You were just...look, Hermione and I are happy and despite what you think, she's perfect for me and will make the perfect Lady Malfoy. Now, I'm going to follow her lead and leave. What I said to you eight months ago still stands true. If I never see you again, it'll be too soon. We're over. Ta, Liza," he drawled mockingly and dissapparated.

"Oh, we are far from over Draco," Liza muttered before stomping away.

She didn't notice was the figure that followed her out of the building until she heard 'Excuse me!' behind her and a hand gripped her upper arm; effectively stopping her in her tracks.

As soon as he opened the door to the suite the Ministry had put them up in and stepped in, he was thrown to the floor.

"Fuck! What the hell, Granger? Were you waiting behind the door just so you could get at me the second I stepping inside?"

"Believe me Malfoy, that punch was nothing compared to what I was prepared to do to you. Now, tell me, what in Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts possessed you to announce that we are supposedly engaged? In a crowded hall no less! You do realise what you've done don't you?" she fumed.

Standing up from the floor and rubbing his bruised cheek, Draco started towards the mini-refrigerator to find some ice. He learned it seemed to work the best to stop the swelling and bruising.

"I needed to say something to get her away from me and it seemed like the best plan at the time. I didn't stop to think she would yell loud enough to announce everything to the entire Ministry."

Her glower was scary but that didn't stop his foot from taking its rightful place in his mouth as he added "besides, you went along with it. So technically, you're just as much at fault as I am."

Later, Draco would come to the conclusion that Voldemort had nothing on an angry Hermione. Meanwhile, he became a human target as the irate witch decided to show him why she had earned the title 'brightest witch of her age.'

After what seemed like hours, Blaise wiped at the corner of his eye and took a swing of his glass of firewhiskey.

'I hope he chokes on his drink,' Draco though sadistically.

Pansy, on the other hand, continued to laugh her heart out. Draco had half a mind to chuck both of them out of the manor but restrained himself. He still needed their help.

"Mate, I knew Granger could be ruthless but I didn't know she had it in her–" and then the laughing started up again.

"While I am absolutely thrilled that you two are having fun at my expense, would you kindly compose yourself enough to help me figure out just what I'm to tell my parents when they get back?" Draco practically shouted in frustration.

"Sorry Drake, but you do have to admit, it's fucking hilarious that –"

"Can we please stop talking about it? It was humiliating enough living through it! I don't need you two dunces making me re-live it!"

Finally calming herself down, Pansy spoke up.

"We're sorry Draco. Truly. It was just a bit unexpected is all. But you can count on me to help you through this mess, I promise."

Draco managed a small smile of gratitude to the woman who was, for all intents and purposes, like a sister to him. Despite being brought up in a world where the word 'friend' was synonymous with 'lackey,' Draco, Blaise and Pansy had formed a tight friendship. Despite the lack of direct familial relation – although Draco was sure, given their ancestors had had a penchant for keeping their lines pure, they were probably distant something or another – the three were as close as siblings.

"And when he stops laughing, I'm sure Blaise will tell you he'll be more than happy to come up with a solution to your little problem with us...right?"

"Ss-sure I wi-ill," he Italian gasped out in between catching his breath. Finally calming down, he reached for the tumbler of firewhiskey again but Draco could still detect a glimmer of mischievousness in his mate's dark eyes.

"Anything for you mate, you know that."

When he didn't say anything more, Draco raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Pansy. Blaise just wasn't Blaise if he didn't manage to add in one last jab. He didn't disappoint.

"Besides, even if we can't come up with something, I'm sure all you have to do is point Granger her way and you and the blonde bitch can both sport matching bruises, warts and -" And he was off again.

Sighing, Pansy cuffed him in the back of his head and turned her attention to Draco.

"Ignore the buffoon, Draco. I can have a talk with Granger for you, so she'll know the harpy giving you trouble is the one responsible for this mess. She won't do anything to me."

Sighing deeply, Draco shook his head. He wasn't about to give Granger more fodder, or another target for her anger.

"Thanks Pans, but I can handle Granger. I was the one to promise her I would get things straightened out. Too bad I didn't think this would happen. We just have to focus on making sure we sort out this entire mess before Mother and Father return and find out that –"

"That apparently you and Ms. Granger have not only eloped but are expecting a child – that may or may not be yours- while another woman is also pregnant with your child?"

It was official. All the deities hated Draco and decided to team up to make his life as hard as possible. For in the doorway stood his parents, and neither one looked particularly happy.

Hi everyone! Thank you all for the reviews and alerts! I'll try to make more regular updates but I can't promise anything for sure since nothing ever works out like I plan. But I have made good headway in writing this story so I'll try my best. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy chapter 2!

-LittleEagle22