Why hello, lovelies! About a week ago, after finishing the chap of Rapture, I was exploding with Hitsukarin feels. So, I asked the beautiful tumblr community to give me prompts to write drabbles. And, as you all know, that didn't work out, because let's be honest—I am a long-winded person who apparently likes to write epics, and can't even keep this introduction to 100 words. So, I'm just going to call them what they are—oneshots—and post them here as well as my tumblr for your amusement.

I will update these when I have time, and the rating is subject to change because Karin is cheeky and can't keep her hands to herself. (Also because someone has already requested smut. But I probably won't post that here. You'll have to check out my tumblr for that.)

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Bleach. You know me enough by now to know that I would turn it into a shitshow.

Prompt: Defending Each Other

Rating: T

"I fail to see how any of this is funny."

His ticking eyebrow did nothing to quell her hilarity. She merely laughed harder, clutching her sides as if they hurt her.

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes, turning back to the matter at hand. "Hisagi-fukutaicho," he said icily, "this is slander. I suggest you fix it."

Karin waved the copy of Seireitei Communication lazily. "And how is he supposed to do that, Toshiro? It's already in print. Everyone in Seireitei has seen it by now."

Hisagi Shuuhei swallowed nervously. "I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho. But a source saw you lurking around the Third Division late at night, and we all know how Kira…is."

Hitsugaya scoffed. "I'm helping him with his bankai."

"Whatever you'd like to call it, sir." Hisagi coughed into his fist awkwardly.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Hitsugaya thundered, unleashing another round of giggles from Karin.

"I-It's just that you've never shown interest in a woman, sir—"

"What am I, invisible?" Karin asked, lips twitching in amusement.

Hisagi was starting to sweat, eyes widening in surprise. "Well, you never seemed very feminine, so I thought—"

"WHAT?!" Karin shrieked, all previous good humor gone. Her eyes flashed angrily.

The temperature in the room noticeably dropped. Hisagi shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was because of the chill or the fear running through his veins.

"I suggest you think wisely before you speak, lieutenant," Hitsugaya said softly, his tone hard as diamonds.

Hisagi blinked rapidly, hands passively raised. "I…I—"

Karin's hands slammed on the desktop. Papers fluttered to the ground, but Hisagi didn't dare pick them up. "Let's get this straight," she growled, furiously grabbing Hitsugaya's crotch. The icy taicho yelped in surprise. "Hitsugaya Toshiro is not gay. This has been in me enough times for me to know."

Hisagi stared at her, wide-eyed.

"Now, I suggest you find a way to edit that article before I edit your face. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am," the Ninth Division lieutenant squeaked.

Karin smiled, and it chilled Hisagi to the bone. "Good. Let's go, Toshiro."

Hisagi watched them leave, the snowy-haired man reprimanding her for touching him inappropriately in public and the dark-haired woman smirking in reply. It was only when he felt them head back to the Tenth that he allowed himself to breathe.

Maybe including the article about Hitsugaya Toshiro's torrid affair with Kurosaki Ichigo in next month's issue was a bad idea.