For every great story, there is a mind-blowing finale...
This is not one of those stories.

FUSHIGIGGLES!
THE LAST CHAPTER!
AS WRITTEN BY DEE!
BECAUSE HALEY IS A LAZY BI-YATCH!
BUT WE'RE GOING TO PRETEND HALEY'S STILL WRITING IT!
THAT WILL KEEP THE FLOW OF THE NARRATIVE RUNNING SMOOTHLY!
AND AWAY WE GO!
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR NICE CHINESE FOOD WITH REAL CHOP STICK!

Chapter Sixteen:
Now It's Time to Say Good-Bye to All Our Company...

As I walked back into the party room, the first thing I heard was a familiar bandit voice talking in a familiar tipsy tone. "I di'n't unnerstan' wha' Chiriko said – time fer another shot!" Genrou cried, chugging down another cup of sake and slamming it back onto the table with a loud laugh. "WoOOoo, who thought up thiz drinkin' game agin, eeeeh?"

"Nuriko did…" Chiriko said with a sweatdrop, seeing as how Nuriko was passed out at the table and couldn't answer the question. "Perhaps you should discontinue your consumption of liquor, Tasuki-san. You're becoming extremely inebriated."

"Di'n't unnerstan' that either!" the bandit said, pouring yet another cup down his throat and grinning across the table at Nakago. "'Ey Naki-chan, why doncha join th' fun, huh?" He waved the bottle at the general, a wide drunken smile spread across his face. "A couple-a these bad boys an' ya won' even notice all th' pink floof they're makin' ya wear, heheheh…"

Surprisingly, Nakago smiled and nodded. "All right. I'll join you." He pulled two cups and a pitcher out of thin air (pretty amazing since Dee had tied him to the chair so he wouldn't try to kill anyone), and filled both cups as full as possible. "Here, let me add something special to yours, to show you how much I care about you." The baddy general pulled a MY…STER…I…OUS capsule that looked oddly like an Advil out of thin air and dumped it into Genrou's glass, then slid the cup across the table towards the bandit. "Bottom's up!"

Genrou raised his glass, but I ran across the room and knocked it out of his hand just in time. "Genrou! You can't trust him! What if he's trying to poison you again?"

"That hurts, Priestess," Nakago said, wiping a tear from his eye – yet another amazing feat since his arms were still tied to his sides. "You don't trust me, your very first seishi… WAAAAAAH!"

Mitsukake dipped a finger into the spilled liquid from Genrou's glass, tasted it, then handed a note to Chiriko. "'Harii's right – it's kodoku.'" Chiriko looked up, frowning at Nakago. "Couldn't you at least have used something new?"

Nakago wasn't ready to give up, though. "So you'll deny me even that, will you? I can't even share a tasty glass of kodoku with my favorite Suzaku seishi? I can't even experience the joy of a mind-altering drug on my last day with all of you? And I suppose next you'll be telling me that I can't even have a five-layer chocolate cake on my wedding day, won't you!" The general pounded his fist into the table and howled to the ceiling. "Oh why, why must you always ruin my wedding day? WHYYYYYY?"

Genrou jumped up, his drunkenness (spell-check said it was a word!) magically gone... and replaced by ANGER! He grabbed Nakago by the collar. "Listen, bastard! All you've done since ya showed up is cause problems fer Harii-chan an' th' rest of us! An' now when we're finally gettin' ready t'celebrate, you gotta pull shit like this?"

"I see none of this 'shit' that you speak of," Nakago answered innocently.

"Shut up, will ya? I am so damn sick of yer mumbo-jumbo!"

...What?

Genrou pulled back his fist as if to hit the general, but I stopped him. "Whoa, wait, Genrou... Mumbo-jumbo?"

He looked back. "Huh?"

"Mumbo-jumbo, Genrou? Mumbo freaking jumbo?"

"I said that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you did."

"Oh." He sweatdropped. "I meant to say 'bullshit,' but the dubbers screwed it up. Sorry 'bout that." He turned back to Nakago, ready to pound him into the wall, but sighed and stopped. "Ah, ferget it. Jus'... jus' ferget it. I'm too ashamed of America t'kill him now."

"Mitsukake and I will escort him to the dungeons," Chiriko volunteered. "The party is getting a little too wild for me, anyway." He pointed around the room. Genrou, Nakago, Chiriko, Mitsukake and I were the only people in the room who weren't passed out or throwing up in corners. I hoped Tomo's magic could fix all those puke stains in the mor...

Damn.

We'd eaten him.

"That's a good idea." I tugged at Genrou's sleeve and pointed to the doorway. "Let's get some air, okay? You look like you need to cool off."

He shot Nakago another death glare and followed me out the door. "If you want me t'kick his ass fer you, I will. He's really startin' t'piss me off. More so than before, even."

"Oh, I know he acts like a wannabe badass sick bastard on the outside, but on the inside he's really..." I paused to ponder the end of that sentence.

"On th' inside he's really a what?" Genrou asked after a few seconds had passed.

"Give me a minute, I'll come up with something."

Genrou sighed. "Let's go fer a walk, okay?"

xxx

Dee sobbed into Chichiri's shoulder for a couple of minutes, until the tears of frustration finally dried up enough for her to talk. "This really sucks."

"It can't be that bad, no da."

"Yes, it is. You don't know how bad it is." Dee clenched a fist and fought back another wave of tears. "Tomorrow I'll have to say good-bye to all of you, and I'm going to miss everyone so much. Especially you."

"Dee-chan..."

But she wasn't finished. "And I can't forget that I have a history test tomorrow that I haven't studied for at all and two of my library books are overdue and you know how pissy they get after a few days, and they'll start to call your house and remind you that this certain book has a waiting list and other, nicer people want to read it just as badly as you do..."

"Uh... Dee-chan...?"

"And I didn't clean out the litter boxes like my mom asked and my cat will probably pee on the floor because his box is dirty..."

"Dee-chan..."

"And to top it off Haley-chan and I just wrote a shameless self-insertion fanfic!"

"But there has to be something we can do no da."

Dee reached up and grabbed his collar, shaking him. "No, don't you see? It's already too late for that! WE POSTED THE FIRST FIFTEEN CHAPTERS ON THE INTERNET AND EVERYTHING!"

Chichiri sweatdropped. "I wasn't talking about that no da. I meant that maybe we can do something about you having to go home."

She stopped shaking him and paused to think. "Hm. Maybe you're right." The two sat in silence for several seconds... ooh, nice alliteration... until Chichiri noticed that Dee was snoring quietly into his shoulder.

"Dee-chan no da?"

She jerked at the call of her name. "I promise not to say 'what' again!"

"How will that solve anything no da?" Dee blinked up at the monk's face, confused. Chichiri sweatdropped. "Maybe you should get some sleep." He stood, offering the exhausted teenager his hand. He smiled down at her, even if it was a sad smile. "I'll walk you back to your room, okay?"

Dee returned the look and took his hand. "Arigatou, Chichiri. And don't worry – I'll figure out an answer to our problems." Her eyes narrowed and she looked towards an imaginary camera. "Even if I have to go on what the movie advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Revenge to find it."

The monk sighed. "You're still asleep, aren't you no da?"

"Private donut," Dee offered, and nearly keeled over into his arms.

xxx

Genrou and I were walking along one of the palace's wooden pathways, admiring the scenery. At least, Genrou was admiring the scenery. Or I think he was. I wasn't really paying attention. Well, I was paying attention, but not to what he was admiring. Not that I didn't care what he was admiring, but there were other things I was focused on. A lot of those things had to do with him, of course, but not with what he might or might not have been admiring. In the end it probably didn't make much of a difference if I noticed that he liked the scenery. Maybe he didn't like it at all. I guess I'll never know. That's my problem, not paying enough attention to things like that. I should—

"GET ON WITH IT!" Dee shouted from nowhere.

Right, sorry... anyway, I didn't see Genrou admiring or not admiring the scenery, because I was looking down at the ground and trying not to look at him. I knew what I had to tell him that night, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to just yet.

"I'm sorry about Nakago," I said, mostly to fill the silence. "When I first met him I thought he was just kidding about that 'kill all the Suzaku seishi' stuff, but now I'm really starting to wonder."

"It ain't yer fault, so don't be sorry," Tasuki said. He shrugged. "An' I guess I don't mind it so much. I mean, if he an' the other Seiryuu seishi weren't around, then you wouldn't-a been able t'be in this world either. So it kinda worked out." I looked at him with a big smile on my face. He noticed it and raised an eyebrow. "Are you enjoyin' th' scenery that much?"

Looking back, that probably meant that he didn't like it. Maybe I shouldn't have taken him out there for a walk. Damn. I hate it when that happens. I always make the wrong choice. Like when that man in the trench coat asked me to take the blue pill or the red pill, and I thought he was trying to give me a roofie so I kicked him in the balls and called the police. Then some officer named Smith gave him the death penalty, and I felt really bad because he was a pretty nice guy all things considered. And now here I was again, and—

"Haley-chan, our readers have waited THREE YEARS for this ending. Maybe we should try to make it so they don't have to wait another three to finish reading it?"

Okay, okay, sorry. What can I say, I like the 'train of thought' writing style. You gotta hand it to Faulkner... Anyway! I turned back to Tasuki. I now possessed a new vigor to keep the plot moving, probably because Dee wanted me to and she was writing this chapter, though we were still pretending that I was the narrator in order to keep the story flowing. I smiled up at him. "No, it isn't the scenery Genrou. It's just... you're really happy that I was with you on this journey?"

He looked away. Did I see a blush? "Well, sure... I mean, yer really important t'me, y'know..."

I smiled. "You're really important to me, too."

He looked back at me, surprised by the seriousness in my voice. "Harii-chan...?"

"Genrou, you see... the truth is that I really care about you. I mean, you're a great guy and I, um..."

I looked over at him. He was standing completely still, and he looked a little frightened, but a little excited, too. Did he understand what I was trying to say? Was he happy about that? I cupped his cheeks in my hands and leaned in, surprised when he didn't pull away but instead moved closer. I felt his breath on my cheek. He was breathing harder than usual – but then again, so was I. We drew in, both of us trembling but certain about this, our hearts pounding, our eyes refusing to look away... and then...

"Mumbo jumbo?"

Genrou jerked back, eyes widening. "What?"

I put a hand to my temple, shaking my head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's just... mumbo jumbo, Genrou? Mumbo freaking jumbo? Who says that?"

"I told ya I was sorry, dammit!"

"No, no, it's not your fault." I looked back over at him, but I could feel that the mood had been killed. Damn. "And I'm sorry too, Genrou. I was going to admit my undying love for you, but the dubbers have ruined everything. The next thing you know, they'll be giving Tomo the voice of a stuffed-up frog and making Koji sound like a middle-aged chain-smoker telling stand-up comedy in a cheap New York night club."

"Those bastards," he said with a sigh. Genrou looked up at the sky, suddenly a little embarrassed. "Look, Harii-chan... I don't really know what's gonna happen now, but I want ya t'know that I wish ya could stay. I really do. 'Cause I... I..."

"I mean, c'mon, mumbo freaking jumbo..." I whispered to no one in particular.

"Would ya let that go already?"

"Ah! I'm sorry!" I turned to look at him. "What was that you were saying?"

"Nevermind! Go t'bed! I'll see ya in th' mornin'!"

The two of us just stood there. Finally, I said again, "I'm sorry. I don't want to leave..."

"I know. I don't want ya to, either. But we don't have a choice. There's no tellin' what sort of ridiculous dialogue the dubbers might put in our mouths."

I nodded. "This fic is already wobbling on the shreds of a barely visible plot line and a series of fangirl romance scenes – it can't afford to have anything else like 'mumbo jumbo' happen, can it?"

"No... I guess it can't."

"Still, tomorrow..."

"T'morrow..."

I put my hand to my head to rub away my headache. Tomorrow meant I had to say "goodbye" to everyone. Tomorrow meant I had to say "goodnye" to Genrou. But how could I possibly do that? How could I go home and look myself in the mirror knowing that I'd had a chance to get my groove on with a hotty-hotpants bandit, and had let that chance slip away?

"DAMMIT DEE! Why can't you let me be serious FOR ONCE?"

"Sorry... sorry... where were we?"

"My regret and sadness—"

"Right!"

How could I possibly stand to do that, without ever really having told him how I felt? Without ever really knowing how he felt? How could I stand to leave him at all, and to have all those regrets?

"What are we going to do?" Genrou and I both muttered to the stars.

xxx

Dee had woken up a little on the way back to her room. She stayed close to Chichiri, taking comfort in his presence. She still didn't have an answer to their problems, though. Maybe she would have to go on that Roaring Rampage of Revenge, after all.

"I'm sure we'll figure out something no da," Chichiri assured her. They were almost at her room now, and Dee wished they were hundreds of miles away from it.

"I hope so." She sighed. "I'm so tired I can barely think, but I don't ever want tomorrow to come... I just wish I could hop on a magic school bus and visit you guys sometimes, you know? But time moves so fast here, even if I could do that, you'd be way older than me..."

Chichiri chuckled. "Well, more so than I already am no da."

"Oh, come on, we're not that far apart!"

They slowed as they reached Dee's room. Chichiri took a step back, tilting his head at her. "Dee-chan, how old do you think I am no da?"

"I dunno." She shrugged. "Nineteen, twenty years old?"

"Um, not exactly no da..."

xxx

I reached the door to the room Dee and I shared and found Dee right inside the room, lying on the floor and twitching. "So cute... so old... so cute... so old... so cute..."

"Uh, Dee-chan? Are you okay?"

She sprang to her feet and grabbed me by the collar. "Haley, love knows no age, right? That's what they say, right? I mean, after all, it's only six years, which is actually totally normal in this world, and in our world, well hey, it's not like it's illegal or anything, so... right? RIGHT, HALEY-CHAN?"

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"I'm talking about how Chichiri's twenty-freakin-four years old!"

I blinked once. Twice. A few more times, just for good measure. There was something in my eye, actually. Just an eyelash, but still, it really stung. Once I peeled that out I looked back over at her and said, "Damn. He always was pretty mature, but... I never would've guessed. That's way too old for you."

"No shit Sherlock."

"But I think your math is off. If he was six years older than you, that would make you eighteen. You're only fifteen."

"No, I'm definitely eighteen."

"But earlier in the story..."

"Well earlier in the story you were intending to finish the damn thing before our senior year of high school now, weren't you?"

"Guess so... Still, six years. Damn."

Dee sweatdropped. "Although now that I think about it he's always treated me like a good friend... or maybe like a little sister...?" Question marks popped up around her head. "Is there such a thing as being Sibling-Zoned? Did I get Sibling-Zoned? Am I okay with that? I think I'm okay with that? I like him a lot and he's a total cutie and he gives awesome hugs but it's not like I wanna jump his bones the way you do Tasuki, so...?"

She waited, ready for me to give her the old SLAMMO! for her remark about Genrou, but I was too caught up in my own concerns. "Hey Dee," I said, "who says 'mumbo jumbo' anymore?"

"Nobody. In fact, nobody has ever said it. Why?"

"Genrou said it tonight."

"He what?"

"Yeah. It kinda ruined our little romantic moment, too."

"Your ROMANTIC MOMENT?"

"Yeah, haven't you been reading the text?" I pointed upwards. "See, right here? 'I cupped his cheeks in my hands and leaned in, surprised when he didn't pull away but instead moved closer.' That."

"Oh. And he said 'mumbo jumbo'? Well, it's not that bad..."

"NOT THAT BAD? How could it be worse?"

"He could have said 'high-falutin' no-good son of a sapsuckin' varmint,' and then Riverdanced around the dinner table wearing a leather thong while singing 'My Heart Will Go On,' with a bagpipe playing in the background."

I stared at her.

"Oh, and then he could have bitten the head off a pigeon and screamed like a Muppet that's been set on fire."

I continued to stare at her.

"See? It could've been a lot worse."

I lay back on my bed, but continued to stare at her.

"Anyway, we have bigger problems than dubbing shenanigans." Dee sat down next to me and put her chin in her hands, and she looked so serious that I forgot to smack her for saying the word 'shenanigans.' "Like what we're going to do tomorrow, when we have to leave everyone."

"When I have to leave Genrou..."

"When I have to say goodbye to Chichiri..."

"Because they can't come back to our world—"

"And we can't stay here—"

A light bulb went off above our heads. Not one above each of our heads, mind you, just a particularly large one hovering between us. Really, it was more like a lamp than a light bulb. Quite shiny, too. We turned to look at each other, a slow smile spreading across both our faces.

"They can't come back to our world..."

"And we can't stay here..."

"Haley-chan?"

"Yes, Dee-chan?"

"I think you're pondering what I'm pondering."

"I think I am indeed."

xxx

"THE CEREMONIES COMMENCE!" Dee shouted the next morning.

"Why did you scream that?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I had it written in caps in my 'last chapter' notes, so it seemed important enough to scream."

"Oh... okay..."

"So how do I look?" Dee swished around in her fancy priestess robes, turned an ankle, and fell flat on her face. "I HATE HEELS!"

"Why don't you just wear your normal clothes, along with the Shinzaho?" I suggested. "That's what I did at my ceremony."

"I'm supposed to look regal, Haley-chan."

"And slapping your face into the floor is regal?"

Dee sweatdropped. "Good point." She threw off the robes and was immediately wearing her normal jeans and T-shirt. "Ready to go?"

I looked around and frowned. I could see the Genbu Priestess' earring, but... "Did you forget to put on Suzuno's panties?" I didn't think she'd really wear them under her pants, after the things Tatara must have done to them.

"Huh? They're right here." She held up her wrist, where she'd tied the pink thong into a bracelet. "Taiitsukun said we had to have them on us, but she didn't say where." She stared at me for a moment, then burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHA! You actually wore the Priestess' Pleasure Panties, didn't you? HAHAHAHA!"

"It's not like I had much of a choice! Nakago practically shoved them up my ass!"

"Um... Dee-sama?" Our heads whirled to the door to see a very freaked-out servant standing at the entrance, waiting for us. "Are you... ready to, um... ready to go?"

"THE CEREMONIES COMMENCE!" Dee shouted again, and marched out the door. Grumbling, I followed.

The servant led us to the shrine where Dee and I had first found out that she was the Priestess of Suzaku. The hallway was just like I remembered, though this time I was lucky enough not to have to go through mind-numbing pain. Dee's seishi were standing near the golden statue of the phoenix, and my seishi were clustered around the edges of the shrine, looking a little uncomfortable. Nakago stood between Snoop Dogu and Amiboshi, who kept a close eye on him in case he tried anything. Ashitare also had a clawed paw touching Nakago's leg, ready to attack if he so much as moved. And was that... I squinted my eyes against the gloom, and...

"Oh, SICK! Why the hell are you still carrying Soi around?" I cried.

"I'm being dramatically romantic," he said.

"Dramatically romantic, my ass!" I shouted back.

"I still fail to see what your ass has to do with any of this."

"Grr... but hey, wait a sec..." I thought back to the day before and tried to remember if I'd seen Soi in Nakago's arms. Now that I thought about it, she hadn't been at the party the night before at all. "Didn't we send her back to Kutou to be buried with the other seishi?"

"She told me she didn't want to be buried just yet. Didn't you Soi?" Nakago propped her up in one arm and made her head nod. A swarm of flies buzzed away with the movement, then promptly moved back in. "See? She wants to see THE CEREMONIES COMMENCE!"

"Would you stop doing that?" I demanded of Dee, before turning back to the seishi general. "Look Nakago, you've already proven to us that you're a big creeper, you don't have to keep showing off. And don't you think Soi deserves a proper burial? Don't you think crying at her grave is more dramatically romantic than carrying around a corpse for weeks and weeks?"

"Besides, she's starting to rot," Snoop Dogu added, plugging his nose and grabbing at his stomach.

Nakago sighed. "As I've said before, Priestess, you're no fun at all." He tossed the deceased seishi over his shoulder, where she promptly vanished. Someday I'd have to learn how he and Hotohori did that.

I turned back around and smiled at Dee. "Okay. You guys can continue."

She glared at Nakago, then began her procession to the shrine. I saw her look towards Chichiri and flash him a smile and a thumbs-up. My own eyes trailed across all the Suzaku seishi – brilliant Chiriko and kind Mitsukake, snuggling Nuriko and Tamahome, coffee-voiced Hotohori and oh-so-cute Chichiri... and finally, with a blush on my cheeks and a smile on my face, I turned to face...

"Hiiiii Genrou!" I waved at him across the room.

Everyone face-vaulted.

"Um... Chichiri...?" Dee looked towards the monk after she'd picked herself up and finished her walk to the shrine. "I know we practiced this last time, but that was a while ago. What am I supposed to say again?"

"Oh, you can just repeat after me, I have the scroll right..." He patted at his shirt, then winced and looked up. "Oops no da."

"Oops no da? OOPS NO DA?" Tamahome cried. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I must have left it in my room no da! Do you need me to run back and get it?"

"What if we run out of time again?" Nuriko asked. "I don't think we get a third chance."

Another little light bulb went on over my head. I cupped my hands to my mouth and shouted across the room, "Hey Dee-chan! You don't need to say the exact words! Just shout 'Oh come oh come Suzaku, or I'll bust your balls.' That's what I did!"

"I'm not saying that to an all-powerful god!"

"Then make something up, dammit! You don't get to stand there forever!"

"Aaaaah... fine!" Dee shouted back. She turned towards the shrine and clapped her hands together. "Um... Suzaku? Hi, it's your Priestess. Would it be all right if I summoned you? I'd really appreciate that." She waited for a moment, then turned to whisper back at me, "I don't think he's home. Should I leave a message?"

"The fire's dying," Hotohori remarked needlessly.

"DAMMIT SUZAKU! Get your ass down here! I am not wearing any more thongs than I have to!" Dee screamed back into the fire.

A crimson glow surrounded my friend and cut her off from everyone else. A moment later the form of a tall man dressed in shades of red stood before her. A bright symbol glowed on his forehead, though Dee wasn't really looking at his forehead.

"I didn't expect gods to be sho shexy," she said.

"Uh... thanks..." Suzaku wiped away his sweatdrop. "Anyway, now that you have summoned me, you shall be granted the power—"

"Three wishes, 'kaijin,' blah blah blah," Dee interrupted. Suzaku glared at her, but she didn't seem to notice. "Actually I already know what I want, so... Kaijin Kaijin Kaijin." Her forehead glowed brightly. She grabbed at the god's hand and tugged him towards the crimson curtain surrounding them. "Now why don't you stick around while I make the wishes? I'm sure your seishi would love to meet you."

He glared harder. "But I'm supposed to be—"

"MY... STER...I...OUS?" she interrupted.

It looked like Suzaku might glare her through the floor, but Dee didn't pay him any mind. She tightened her grip and dragged him out of their crimson bubble.

"Hey gang, look who I brought!" she called.

The other seishi looked up, and Hotohori gasped. "Could it be...?"

Dee grinned. "Yup! Guys, I'd like you to meet your god. Suzaku, I'd like you to meet your seishi."

All seven fell to their knees, but Dee further proved her total oblivousity by clapping Suzaku on the back. He glared at her so hard I thought little lasers might shoot from his eyeballs.

"Okay, God of the South!" she said. "My first wish is for the countries of Kutou and Konan to live in peace, prosperity, and happiness."

"That sounds more like six wishes than one..." Amiboshi remarked from the back of the chamber.

"She said 'my first wish is' and didn't start a new sentence, so it all counts," Suzaku explained, which caused Amiboshi to face-vault for the second time in five minutes. "Granted. Next?"

"Wish number two... well, I was going to ask for peace on my planet too, but I remembered you were just a god so I figured that was a little beyond your control. So instead, I want you to make it so there are five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred and one minutes in a year, just to screw with that damn Rent song that's been stuck in my head all week."

Suzaku sweatdropped. "Uh... fair enough, though that's really going to upset your calendar-makers."

"They'll deal."

"Wish number three?"

"Ah, yes! Wish number three!" She cracked her knuckles and placed her fists on her hips. We shared a private smile, then Dee proclaimed: "I wish for you to let Haley and me travel to the book-world whenever we want, and let the seishi go into our world whenever they want, and to slow the book's time down so the two worlds are on parallel 'five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred and one minute' a year schedules!"

Suzaku paused. Silence filled the room. Dee and I held our breaths and crossed our fingers. I could feel Genrou watching me with frightened eyes, and see Chichiri's brows scrunched together in an oh-so-cute, worried frown. Then Suzaku drew himself up, stared down at Dee with all the power a god's stare possesses, and said:

"Okay."

And there was much rejoicing.

"YAY!"

I ran across the room and hug-tackled Genrou to the floor. For once, he actually hugged me back, though I heard him grumbling about having these "noisy girls" around for a little while longer. Dee stumbled from the platform, still surprised that our stab in the dark had actually worked, and would have collapsed if Chichiri and Nuriko hadn't each caught one of her arms, steadying her. The rest of Dee's seishi gathered around her, patting her on the back and congratulating her sharp thinking. Even Chiriko remarked that that was "pretty damn smart" of her.

I looked up from my fierce hug just in time to see Ashitare leap at me, jumping onto my chest and licking at my face. "RAH RAH RAH! RAH!"

"Harii-chan, we don't have to say good-bye!" Amiboshi cried happily. He reached down to hug me, then seemed to change his mind and just patted me on the head. "Don't forget to visit Snoop Dogu and me when you come back, okay?"

I smiled up at him. "I will. And thank you." He knew what I meant, and blushed in response. I looked past him and smiled at Snoop Dogu and Nakago as well. "Thanks to all of you, for being my seishi," I looked past Snoop Dogu and only at the pretty-boy general, "even if you were a rat bastard."

"Aw, thanks Harii." Nakago sniffled and rubbed at his eyes. "I know we had our disagreements, but I just want you to know, you were my second-least favorite person to hate."

I paused to wrap my brain around that sentence, but before I could get it all worked out Dee said, "Well, I guess we should be getting home now. Max and Colin are probably dying of boredom. But we'll come back soon, all right?" She looked to first Chichiri, then the other seishi gathered around her. "And you guys are free to visit whenever you want. Just say 'real world oh real world, come forth now or I'll bust your balls.'"

"I'll be sure to do that no da. I'll even let your brother dress me up again."

Dee laughed and hugged him one more time.

I glanced nervously at Genrou. "I, um..."

He hugged me awkwardly with his right arm. "We'll leave a room open fer ya on Reikaku." I felt my heart lift, but before I could say anything he glared down at me, shaking his tessen in a threat. "But I ain't comin' t'yer world unless that Colin kid promises never t'put me in hotpants again!"

"I'm sure he wouldn't try that twice," I said.

"Yeah, next time it'll be a leopard-spotted leotard," Dee grumbled.

xxx

"I'd do it, too," Colin promised Max.

xxx

"See you soon!" Dee and I cried, untangling ourselves from the seishi and preparing for the trip home. "Keep the free Chinese food ready for when we visit!"

The dirty old hobo walked up, swinging one arm around Dee and the other around me. Ooh, that rhymes. He flashed a nearly-toothless grin, saying in an overly-cheesy voice: "I can't wait to see what sort of crrrrrrrazy adventures you two get into!"

Dee and I returned the corny grins, raising our fists in a threat. "One of these days, Hobo-san," we warned him, "to the moon!"

Fin.

And now a tiny author free-chat.

Hey everyone, Dee – ah-hem, I mean – "Haley" here! Glad to see you made it through the last chapter. I know it was a few years in coming, and probably wasn't worth the wait, but hey, considering this was written in the span of about two hours, it ain't half bad, right?
...Right?
This chapter was loaded with movie and Internet cartoon references – at least four that I can think of, and probably more – so NAME THOSE OBSCURE REFERENCES and win some cool points.
Because everyone loves cool points.
For more fanfic enjoyment, please mosey over to ItsTheDee's page and check out her FY stories. They aren't all laughter and jokes like this one, but they're pretty damn good if I, "Haley," her best friend, do say so myself.
(That's right, she's plugging her own fics while pretending to be me.)
(Tremble in fear.)
Guess that's all for this bit 'o randomness. So, until next time...
Okay, well there probably won't be a next time. I've basically quit writing. I mean, "Haley" has quit writing. "Dee" is still spitting out "stories," even if they aren't coming as "quickly" as they used to. Still, it's "better" than "nothing."

Um... yes.

Thanks for reading!
-"Haley"-