New holiday, new story, new JohnDave. For those who know me, this once again stands alone in its own universe. For those who are new, feel free to check out the rest of my holiday fics (all JohnDave). This story is a chance to explore my fluid headcanons (and in doing so, Dave picked up some Karkat traits). This is pretty much PWP by the way so enjoy!

The world sparkles with night lights reflecting over wet surfaces. Everything is tinged green with the spirit of the holiday. Drunken revelers stumble about on the streets, all wearing shades of the same color. Groups call out playfully to each other as they wander from bar to bar to take advantage of the deals offered to entice patrons inside.

None of this matters to the two shadows tucked into a narrow alley, pressed up against the wall. The brunette has his elbows against the bricks, leaning over the blonde caged inside. The smaller man fists the larger's shirt and pulls him impossibly closer as he lifts himself up onto his toes to close the short distance between their lips. He doesn't mind how the rough edges of the brick press against his shoulder blades as long as he maintains contact between their torsos and lips. Tongues brush against each other between open mouths. Lips slide and press together. Breath is shared and body heat is stolen.

The brunette pulls his face away, breaking the kiss. He smiles down at the red eyes that flash up at him.

"What the fuck are you doing, John?" His smaller frame shivers despite the proximity of the other's large coat blocking the majority of the biting wind.

"Teasing you," John murmurs down at him, leaning in just enough to coax him to stretch himself upwards. "I love seeing you this needy, Dave."

"Fuck you," he snarls back, hauling himself up with arms wrapped around John's neck. John's arms come off the wall to cup Dave's ass as he presses Dave fully against the wall. Dave uses John's support as an excuse to wrap his legs around his waist, bringing their hips together with pleasurable friction. "God damn you taste like beer."

"Well, was I supposed to turn down the green beer?"

"Green beer doesn't taste any different. All they do is add color." Dave tilts his head as John shifts down to attack his neck. "No flavoring, nothing really special, just pure unadulterated food coloring. Straight from those little drip bottles that people use. Just like green eggs and ham. No fucking difference except you are going to piss green for the next week."

"I least I didn't order all of those girly green cocktails like you. I'm surprised you're not diabetic the way you were downing those sugar bombs."

"Fuck off."

"I'd rather fuck you," John emphasizes his words with a thrust of his hips against Dave. He can only answer with a moan muffled into John's neck. He brings his arms down and John gives him enough space that he's able to reach down and start undoing the button on John's jeans. The task would be difficult enough in this position but between the cold temperatures numbing his fingers, John's distracting lips working his earlobe, and the alcohol coursing through his system (also mostly responsible for their current position), getting his pants undone is a miracle. But a miracle happens; Dave gets John's pants open. John hisses loudly when Dave's cold hands reach in and pull his cock out of his boxers.

"Big baby. It's not that cold out."

"You don't have ice cubes manhandling your junk."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Yours!" John's hands tug and pull at Dave's jeans until the material finally slides down. It's tricky maneuvering but John gets Dave's legs folded up close to his chest and the jeans out of the way. He tucks his arms underneath Dave's knees. His hands are only slightly warmer than the bitter cold air as he kneads Dave's ass. He slides his cock up against Dave's, both of them appreciating the contrasting heat.

"Lube's in my coat pocket."

"You were prepared for this? You skank," Dave teases as he contorts himself to reach said pocket.

"Says the guy with his legs up in the air," John retaliates as he grinds harder to make his point. "You slut."

"Only for you, babe." Dave manages to wrap his fingers around the small trial sized tube. He flips open the lid and pours some out onto his hand. It's pointless for him to try to warm it up so he immediately reaches around his legs and starts coating John's cock with it.

"Fuck shit cold!" John cringes.

"Get over it. You'll be warm soon enough."

"Fuck you."

"That's the point of this exercise. Congratulations, John. You figured it out. Because what other fucking reason would I have to be out in this shitty weather with you when I could be dancing on tabletops inside of a nice, warm bar with another glass of leprechaun juice sliding down my thr-" He cuts off mid-word with a breathless gasp as John lifts him up and pushes in. The alcohol plus lube makes Dave relaxed enough that John slips in, but John still takes it slow to let Dave get accommodated to his size.

"God damn, Dave. You feel so good."

"That's just the beer talking."

"Maybe. But so warm..." John nuzzles his neck. "Can I move yet?"

"Yea."

"You sure?"

"It's too damn cold to be out here with my ass hanging out for you to be sensitive about the ass you just shafted as you interrupted me in a pretty good fantasy about being warm and happy."

"I told you to grab your jacket."

"John." Dave pauses until John pulls back a little bit to look at him. "Just fuck me. Fuck me now."

John complies with the demand with a deep moan. He pulls his hips back far enough to get a good thrust when he slides forward. He starts off slow until Dave growls in his ear. With a chuckle he speeds up his thrusts until the smack of John's thighs against Dave's ass is echoing down the dark alley.

Dave's hands tangle in his dark hair as he hangs on through the vigorous fucking. The conversations of people passing by float in from off the street, reminding them that they have to keep their moans down. Dave pants with an open mouth as John bites his neck to keep his own mouth busy. John's hands grip Dave's ass and pull him down onto his cock in time with his thrusts as he leans forward with his chest, imprinting the brick onto Dave's back.

With all mobility restrained by the position and the awkwardness of his jeans, Dave is subject to any and all of John's whims which seem to be aligned to the idea of fucking him ruthlessly. But he does take advantage of one of the small things he does control and flexes the muscles in his ass, making himself tight on John's cock. John buries his groans into Dave's shoulder.

"Fucking hell, Dave. The things you do to me... The way you make me feel... Here we are out in an alley in fricking freezing weather because of your sexy little body."

"You're the one who couldn't keep his hands off of me. And who pulled me into your lap? Hm? I only did the most logical thing."

"And gave me a lap dance? Yes. Very logical."

"I blame the alcohol."

"I blame the fact that you love my cock and are a tiny strumpet."

"Hell yea, I love your cock. I especially love it buried in my ass. Doesn't matter where. Doesn't matter when. Just fuck me with it!" John slams him against the wall, capturing Dave's next cry of pleasure with a rough kiss.

"I love you. I love my fun sized boyfriend," John murmurs when he finally breaks the kiss to breathe.

"Hey, you're calling me small again," Dave complains in between thrusts.

"I've called you small at least three times," John laughs. "I can't help that you are like half my size."

"I am not that short!" His pout is intercepted by John nibbling on his lower lip.

"I guess so. You do come up to my collar bone."

"I'm gonna kick your ass."

"As soon as I am done fucking yours."

"Then get on with it, John. Fuck me harder." At the request John started snapping his hips, nearly knocking Dave's breath out his chest with the impact between John and the wall. "Yes, yes, yes!" he hisses out.

John keeps up the pace as Dave clings helplessly to the broad shoulders. The dark shadows cloak them and the sounds of revelry mask their sounds. Thankfully no one spares them and their actions a glance, but the thrill of being caught run up their spines every time someone blocks the small bit of light coming from the entrance of the alley.

"Dave," John murmurs close to his ear. "I'm close. God, you feel good."

"Please, John, please don't stop. For the love of all that is holy, don't fucking stop until you come."

It's only a couple more strokes before John gasps, "I'm... I'm coming!" His erratic thrusts actually pull him out of Dave and he misses on the next forward stroke. He grinds his sensitive cock against the curved crack of Dave's ass, using the friction to push himself over the edge and stain the brick wall with his cum. Dave rocks his hips against him trying to maintain his own momentum.

"Fucking hell, John! I said don't stop. Fuck. Gonna give me blue balls, literally blue in this fucking cold weather. Goddamn it! Don't lean on me like that, I can't move now! Let me down. Please, oh god, please let me down. I need to get off."

With clumsy coordination of post coital muscles, John shifts himself to let Dave's legs slide down and finally support his own weight. Dave's hands immediately go to his cock. With his shoulders against the brick and his body arched away from the wall, he furiously starts stroking himself. John's body and coat continue to shield him from view and somewhat from the cold.

John, still in his orgasmic haze, leans down and kisses the exposed column of Dave's neck as he tucks himself away and fastens his jeans. "Damn, Dave, you felt so good. Ass so tight and warm. I love fucking you. I fucking love you."

"You're cute, John. But do you know what would be cuter? You down on your knees sucking me off since you left me out of your happy orgasm. One of us is about to get frostbite on his dick. And since you've already put yours away, you obviously aren't the one in danger. The shrinkage is bad enough because of the weather; I don't need any more loss. And those are unpleasant thoughts. I'm taking it out on you if I lose this boner. Fuck."

John takes pity on his boyfriend, pulling him away from the wall and turning him around. Dave braces himself with his forearms against the brick as John reaches around his hips and grips his erection. John starts stroking him at a pretty fast pace, noting that his erection hadn't flagged even with all of his talk. Dave presses himself back against John's body, relishing in the heat he provides. John's lips resume their caressing of his neck, now focusing on the nape instead of his throat.

John slides his hand up and down Dave's shaft, squeezing gently to draw out his moans. He twists lightly at the head as he's seen Dave do before. He flicks his fingers across the slit to catch some of the precum dripping out before it gets too cold and uses it as lubrication. Dave's hands clench into fists as his body shudders with pleasure. When John bites the edge of his ear with encouraging murmurs brushing hot air across his cheek, Dave loses it.

"Fuck!" he cries out loudly before John uses his free hand to turn his head and kiss him silent. His body tenses as he reaches orgasm, his own cum hitting the wall next to John's. They freeze when they hear a questioning tone from the streets even as Dave's dick continues to spasm. The voice fades as the people turn away, preferring to participate in festivities over exploring dark alleys. Dave is breathing hard when John finally releases his twisted neck.

"Shit," Dave pants out. "Did we really just do that? Did we really just have sex in a back alley way? Goddamn we are out of our fricking minds." He laughs as he leans back against John, his legs feeling weak. John just wraps his arms around him and nuzzles into his hair. "I mean, I guess that is something of a St. Patrick's tradition." Dave continues as he cleans himself up without leaving the bear hug of an embrace. "Getting arrested for drunken public indecency, but that's usually for streaking across town with only pasties dangling green tassels covering nipples, even those aren't even meant for our gender. Not that they are hiding anything particularly revealing on women either, but hey I don't set the standards. Nor do I apparently care for standards, or laws, seeing how we were just fucking outside of the bar because you can't keep your hands to yourself. I'm not really complaining though because I did sorta give you the best lap dance of your life. How are you expected to resist that kind of shit? You're not. That's the point. And exactly how we ended up here. That and prolly a gallon of alcohol each. How did we even manage to walk here? We should be like face down on the sidewalk unless they were watering down their drinks. I bet those fuckers were. Thinking that the greenness would cover the lack of flavor and you totally fell for it, you snook."

"I love how you ramble post sex."

"Don't make fun of me."

"Me? Make fun of you? Never." John turns him around and kisses him to keep him from replying from the blatant lying taunt. The kiss is a little less frantic than the ones they started with when they stumbled into the empty alley, but not at all less passionate. They are lazy and sensual now that they have been sated with sex.

When Dave shivers with cold instead of orgasmic aftershocks, they are reminded of where they are.

"Do you wanna head home our go back into the bar?" John asks.

"They all know what we came out here to do. Going back in just gives them ammunition that they probably will manage to forget in an alcoholic haze by tomorrow if we don't remind then in the meantime."

"Okay. So we should just stand here until we freeze."

"How about not." Dave places a quick kiss on John's lips before darting out to the street to get them a ride. John chuckles and follows him own.

Dave stomps his foot at the third cab that speeds by without stopping despite him nearly standing out in the street and waving his hand to get their attention. "God fucking damn it. It's too fucking cold to stand out here in this weather and watch taxi drivers all be jackasses with their heads up their butt holes!"

John watches him shiver violently even as he tries to flag down the next. He shrugs out of his heavy coat and throws it over the thinner shoulders. There is a momentary relaxation as Dave's muscles take in the heat, but then Dave turns around and glares at John as the bottom of the coat easily hits his knees. John ignores the narrowed eyes and sticks his hand out, immediately having a cab pull over and stop in front of them.

"That is so not fucking fair!"

John just chuckles and opens the door for Dave. If looks could kill, John would be extra crispy. Dave crosses his arms and stubbornly refuses to climb into the car first. To placate the driver, John gets in first, scooting across the seat. He picks up the glittery green top hat that is sitting in his place and transfers it to his lap as Dave slides in afterwards. John gives their address to the driver and they pull away from the curb.

"Where did you get that?" Dave peers over at John's lap with disdain.

"It was in the cab. Here put it on."

"What? No."

"Please? I'll even take your picture and call it ironic for you."

"Fuck off." Dave snatches the hat out of John's hands and shoves it onto his head. John gets his phone out of his pocket, pointing the camera at his boyfriend.

"You know, if you dyed your hair red," he quickly takes the picture, "you'd be a cute leprechaun." He ducks as the hat flies across the small space, leaving some glitter where it catches on John's sweater.

"If you EVER mention that again, I will rip off your dick."

"You'd miss it," John easily dismisses the threat.

"I'd stuff it and bronze it."

"Now you are just getting creepy."

"Yea that sorta crossed into Rose territory there. Sorry." Dave slouches down into John's jacket, surreptitiously breathing in the scent.

"And a little bit of Jade too with the stuffing thing."

"Shit." Dave sits up in his seat and glances back at the area they were driving away from. "We just left the girls there. And my jacket. We need to go back for my jacket."

John chuckles, letting Dave know he can relax back down in his seat. "I think it'll be okay. Jade was eyeing the bartender-"

"Which one? Hope he has insurance if he's gonna date that wild child."

"And Rose's girlfriend was coming to pick up her."

"Oh. Okay. Good. We didn't just abandon them. Good. Rose won't try to murder me in my sleep."

John throws an arm around Dave's shoulders. "Don't worry. I'd never let her hurt my little leprechaun."

Dave's hand slides over into John's lap and palms his crotch, stirring up the still slightly sensitive organ. "Don't push me, babe," he says cloyingly.

John laughs nervously and places a kiss on top of his blonde hair.

A/N: Did ya have fun? Yes? Good. My other holiday fics are Jornada Del Muerto, My Dsmber, and Valentine's Day. All JohnDave and all separate. My pride and joy so far is Waiting for the End which is a super long Hammertime fic so check that out as well. As per usual, my tumblr is AeacusTero as is my pesterchum. Feel free to reach out to me, I don't bite. Feedback is appreciated! Happy St. Pat's!