A/N:Some liberties are taken like the fact that Tali is not mentioned until Silent Night which is two episodes after Dagger but hey maybe she might have shared stuff with Amanda in an attempt to make her feel better.

Chapter One

Amanda Lee sat in her room dressed in a new black dress, new black patent shoes and a new black coat and cried, Mishi was gone, never coming back just like her mommy and daddy that Mishi always used to tell her stories about. She clutched Mishi's badge in her small hands and felt alone, she remembered Ziva sitting with her and comforting her after Gibbs had given her the badge and told her about Mishi. She had sat there waiting for an aunt she barely knew to pick her up. Mishi had never really mentioned her and she had only seen her a couple of times until then. Gibbs had said she was going to live with her now and she had almost asked him if her aunt was nice. Something stopped her though, however she had asked Ziva about her aunt, if she was a nice lady. Ziva had seemed shocked she recalled, but had said she seemed like a lovely lady when they spoke on the phone.

Ziva had spoken about her family, how she knew how She felt about losing Mishi because she had lost her brother and sister and that while right now it hurt a lot she should not avoid speaking of Mishi as that was a good way to keep her memory alive, Ziva had explained that it would stop being so painful after a while. Amanda cried some more, she missed Ziva, Ziva had held her while she cried and made her feel safe in a world that no longer made sense. Then her aunt had arrived and Amanda wasn't sure how to react to her, the lady seemed nice but she didn't hug her, didn't hold her like Ziva did, like Mishi had. Her aunt didn't make her feel safe when she woke from nightmares, she just told she was safe now but she didn't feel safe anymore.

It had been a week since Gibbs told her about Mishi and today was the funeral, Amanda looked at the black cloth around her arm and sighed, it was a reminder of how Mishi was gone, but her aunt had insisted she wear it as was tradition. (relying on google here so I apologise if its wrong) Downstairs her aunt was calling her and with a final sigh Amanda left the sparse room she called her own and went downstairs.

Amanda looked over and a small smile appeared on her face, Ziva was stood with Tony, Abby, Gibbs Ducky and some others that she didn't know very well. Looking up at her aunt and seeing she was watching her Amanda quickly and quietly approached Ziva, she slipped her hand into Zivas and felt her squeeze her hand. She looked up and tears welled in her eyes again. Ziva knelt in front of her, released her hand and wrapped her arms around her, Amanda stiffened and then relaxed into the hug she so desperatley craved. She felt her self being lifted and tightened her grip round Zivas neck not wanting to let go, she felt safe again, like she did when she Mishi had been here before the man took her and kept her in the room.

Ziva P.O.V

She watched Amanda approach and noticed the child's dejected appearance, she looked much like Ziva had when Tali had been killed. When Amanda slipped her hand into to her own, Ziva had squeezed it gently in assurance, she looked down and saw the tears form in Amanda's eyes, doing what felt as natural as breathing she knelt down and hugged her, when Amanda stiffened she frowned but the girl relaxed fairly quickly. Gauging her weight Ziva lifted her and stood up holding into Amanda feeling her tighten her grip. She wondered how she was dealing with the loss of her only mother figure And felt the urge to never let the little girl go, she couldn't explain the connection she felt but she had told her things she had not shared with any of her friends here. Ziva held onto Amanda while the funeral proceeded and when she saw that the shooting of the guns was about to begin whispered to Amanda to cover her ears, she felt the child jump in her arms at the sound of the guns and tightened her grip while murmuring words of comfort into her hair. The shooting stopped and Ziva turned so that Amanda could see the flag being folded and smiled sadly when she gripped the flag in her small hands like a lifeline.

As people started leaving Amanda's aunt approached and asked if she could speak to Ziva in private later that day. Ziva agreed to speak to her and relunctly she lowered Amanda to the ground. Ziva wiped the tears from Amanda's cheek and smiled softly at her, "remember what I told you that day, it will get better tateleh". She hugged her once more and watched as Amanda stood stiffly by her aunt. "Where would you like to talk Mrs Lee?"

"Could you come to the house in an hour, here is the address" Mrs Lee handed a slip of paper to Ziva and nodded once before headed off with Amanda's hand held in her own. Amanda looked back and Ziva felt her chest tighten, she realised her cheeks were wet with tears and discreetelly dried her cheeks. She turned and found Tony stood behind her " what do you need Tony" she forced her words to be steady and sighed when Tony didn't answer but simply wrapped her in a hug "She'll be ok Ziva, she will in time" was all her said and Ziva nodded and hugged him back in a rare show of affection, today she wanted to feel, today she was grieving for the mother of a child, a friend she had worked with however brief it had been, a woman who's final moments had been filled with heroism, a woman who had given her life so that Gibbs could get the bad guy, so that no one else on that bus would be hurt, so that her child would hopefully never know of the wrong doings she had played a role in, so that child could remain innocent and not jaded. Today she was Ziva, today she was human not the Mossad agent she had been raised to be, the Mossad agent she longed to never go back to being.