That piano has been his life ever since he was forgotten. It's the only thing that keeps him sane, helps him focus on something to do. Keeps him grounded, because without it, he might float into pieces and be lost in the wind, destroyed, tattered. As his fingers glide across keys, toning out sounds and melodies, he's soothed into thinking that those times are real once more, and that he once held value, value that made him strong and gave him a purpose.

Those memories assault him, and he's left aching when he can no longer play anymore, and passes out against the wood, taking in the ancient scent that does nothing to make him feel better.

In those memories, those dreams that seem so vivid, he sees a redhead, smiling, laughing, having fun, but not with him. No, that redhead is at the side of another man in these memories, a beautifully pale man with long black hair. A prowling grace that would be enough to tempt any person, male or female. And tempting it was, as that redhead is at his side now, fawning over him even when he's not wanted.

They were happy together once too.

Their first time was at the academy in an old classroom. That redhead pinned him against the wall and taught him what it was like to be wanted, needed, loved. And it continued throughout those days, nights of passion and days of relaxation, of moments stolen while the world worked around them.

He became a member of division nine, and they were separated for a short while. But then he joined a division too, and the both of them worked until they became fukutaichos. They set goals for each other, laughed when they failed, loved each other at night, celebrated when they won. Cried when they were hurt. That's when he was given the piano, the lovely instrument that he played every single night for the other. Sometimes they used it for other things, but he hardly ever allowed such a thing. The piano was special, something he loved as much as his lover. Adored the gift given to him.

But then he noticed a change in the redhead.

Their nights of passion became less and less, their moments of celebration shorter and shorter, days spent alone, tears cried in silence, failures unnoticed. Goals no longer given to beat, pain welling in a breaking heart, eyes becoming distant.

The first time he avoided the redhead, he felt everything inside of him raise to the surface. He stopped fiddling, he quit going outside, he hid himself away, planning that piano in his house. The first time he avoided the redhead, the other didn't even notice until two days later.

He was questioned about it, but he simply put a smile on his face, one of those broken ones that spoke of nights spent alone, failures piling up, heart breaking, tears cried in silence, goals forgotten, feelings being ripped to shreds. Happiness, taken away.

The redhead told him that they could no longer be, that he was no longer useful to him, that he had someone else who could understand him better. Had someone else who was better at taking away pain, could comfort him better, destroy the demons in his heart. A person who could replace him and the horrible music he had often played.

That night, he wept, tears falling onto the ebony keys of his obsession, his sanity.

That night, he played out his heart, played out the feelings that no one cared about.

That night, he destroyed the only thing that made him Hisagi Shuuhei.

He destroyed himself, head filled with images of a smiling Abarai Renji, standing at a side that was not his own, laughing at a joke that he had not told, giving someone else goals, holding them at night, fixing their broken heart, stealing away their failures, taking away their nights spent alone.

The sky leaked rain over a scene that was filled with people, all staring at the same point, some with downcast expressions, others with somber feelings of knowing what had happened. But their was no redhead there, no glimpse of fiery hair, of one that had fixed a heart that did not need to be mended.

On the single stone, words were carved upon it, speaking of the volumes that no one had noticed until it was too late. Because feelings did not matter if you were a shinigami.

Hisagi Shuuhei, 1867-1984
Friend to everyone
Died of a broken heart

For the first time since his betrayal, Abarai Renji cried over the life he had destroyed.

I was inspired by two different fanfics to write this. Dx Kinda short, and not my best work, but I needed to communicate my feels somehow. And I'm sorry for killing Shuu! /crawls away

This short drabble/fic was written to two different songs from YouTube. /watch?v=UMGl8zWG3H8 [Away] and /watch?v=C9haTFoGcvk [Sparrow]