Estranged

This was the first time he had been home in months. He had been out of the country, throwing everything he had into his work. And in a moment, that all came to a screeching halt. He was now home, standing in the cemetery at his father's funeral. He had tried to forget the hurt of losing a parent after his mother's passing when he was a teenager, but it was all coming back to him; his chest felt heavy.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably, their black clothes making them extra hot in the July sun. Steve McGarrett, however, remained perfectly still. He scanned the small group of people for his sister, but couldn't find her. His eyes stopped on three girls, his girls, standing directly across from him. This was the first time he had seen any of them in months and he couldn't believe he had been away so long. On the left was Lucy, his youngest at 4 years old. Her tiny face was tear-streaked as tears continued to spill out of her big blue eyes. He knew how close both of his daughters were with their grandfather and he regretted not being able to see them before now. On the far right was his older daughter, Julia, who was 7 years old. Her sandy brown hair was in pig tails and she was wearing glasses; when did she start needing glasses? In the middle was Alexia, holding each of the girls' hands. The sight of her made him touch his wedding ring with his thumb. He wondered if she would be wearing hers.

To say they were estranged would be an understatement. It wasn't easy to be married to him, Steve knew that, but the last few years had been especially hard. Alexia, fed up, had finally filed for a divorce. Steve, however, refused to give up on his family until he came home. Each time she sent him the papers, he sent them right back, unsigned. He knew she was going to great lengths to avoid him. Whenever he would video chat with the girls, she would stay out of the webcam's field of view. She never called him, she let the girls use her phone to do it. It would be impossible to avoid him now though, especially if he took the job offer he had received earlier that day from the governor. He would be home then, full time with his family. As far as he was concerned, there wasn't anything left to consider.

As the funeral ended, the group of people slowly began to thin out. Once Steve could get away from everyone giving him their condolences, he made his way over to the edge of the cemetery where his girls were waiting for him. Seeing him coming closer, Lucy broke away from her mother's hand, her little legs carrying her as fast as they could to her father. Steve picked up his walking pace a little to in order to get to her; it seemed that she had another flood of tears ready. Once she got to him, he knelt down to scoop her up, holding her tight as she started crying again.

"Shhh," he soothed her, her tears soaking the collar of his shirt. "It's ok baby." He noticed Alexia and Julia making their way over, hand in hand. As they got closer, Alexia let go and nudged Julia towards Steve.

"Hey sweetheart," he said, shifting Lucy's weight over into one arm, freeing his other to hug Julia. His arm still around her, he leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

"You're both so big," he said, smiling weakly as he squeezed them tighter. Seeing Alexia, he glanced quickly at her left hand; there was no ring. "Hey Lex."

"Hi Steve," she said quietly. With his arms full, she didn't even try to hug him. She did come close enough to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry," she told him, rubbing his arm quickly before backing off. He didn't say anything back, he only nodded.

"Daddy," Lucy said, pulling away and wiping her nose on her arm.

"Hm?"

"Do you have to go back to work now?" she asked, sniffling. Steve felt his heart sink. Maybe Alexia was right, maybe he did put his work first and for too long.

"Nope," he assured her, smiling in an attempt to comfort her. "Not for a little while." Lucy smiled big, throwing her arms around him.

"Steve," Alexia cut in, seeming uncomfortable. "I know you probably have a lot going on right now…"

"What's up?" he asked, a bit confused. What was so hard for her to ask him? Did he really leave her feeling like she couldn't ask him for anything?

"I got scheduled for the night shift tonight," she explained; Alexia was a doctor at the local hospital. "Eight to Eight," she continued. "And I don't have anyone to watch the girls." John had always watched the girls when Alexia had the night shift.

"Of course I can watch them," Steve said, trying not to sound offended. How could she think he would say no to watching his own daughters?

"I just didn't know where you were staying," she went on. He had just landed in Hawaii that morning, he hadn't given it much thought. He seemed to have just assumed he would stay at the house, but then again, this was the first time he had been back since she filed the papers. Maybe being at the house was off the table now.

"Daddy!" Lucy said, excited. "You can stay over! And watch movies!"

"All right," he smiled, kissing her cheek; he squeezed Julia's shoulders. "That sound all right to you Jules?"

"I guess," she shrugged. Julia was always his quiet child, but she was even quieter than usual. Steve figured it was because she was older and understood more than Lucy; she knew enough to be mad at him.

"Ok," Alexia nodded. "Let's…" She trailed off, stopping herself from saying go home. "Get to the house."

Once he changed his clothes, Steve set out to make dinner while Alexia got ready for work. There wasn't much he knew how to make, so he was grateful to find a box of spaghetti and a jar of marinara sauce in the pantry. Julia sat at the table in shorts and a green tank top, reading; Lucy was spinning around in the living room, wearing her ballet clothes. Once the girls had changed out of their dresses from the funeral, Alexia explained to Steve that Lucy was going through a phase where she would only wear her black leotard and bright pink tutu.

"All right," Alexia said, coming down the steps in her pale blue scrubs. Steve and the girls were at the table eating. Lucy already had spaghetti sauce all over her cheeks.

"You in the ER tonight?" he asked, spinning spaghetti on his fork; he wasn't sure what else to say to her.

"Yeah," she nodded, grabbing her keys off the counter. "It's my weekend." She walked over to the table, leaning over to kiss Lucy's head, then Julia's. "All right, be good," she said, turning to go.

"Mommy!" Lucy scolded. "You forgot about daddy." Julia rolled her eyes at her younger sister; she didn't know anything. Steve looked at Alexia and smirked, amused. Alexia blew Steve a kiss, waved goodbye one last time, and headed out the door.

"Are you in a fight?" Lucy asked, slurping up a noodle.

"No," Steve shook his head, taking another bite. He caught Julia rolling her eyes again. "Careful," he warned. "Your face will get stuck like that." Lucy giggled; Steve smiled at her.

"I'm not stupid," Julia told him, pushing up her glasses. It was clear that she was mad at him for what was going on between the parents. Even though it was Alexia's idea, it was obviously easier to be mad at Steve because he wasn't home.

"She's not!" Lucy jumped in, not understanding at all what was going on. "Julesy is going to take 4th grade math! And she's only in 3rd grade!" Lucy sounded so proud of her big sister; Steve was stunned.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve asked her curiously; they had just spoken a little over a week ago on video chat. More importantly, why didn't Alexia think this was something important to tell him?

"You don't care," Julia grumbled, aimlessly pushing her food around with her fork.

"Of course I do," he insisted. "Honey, I am so proud of you." She didn't seem convinced.

"Are you and mom getting a divorce?" Julia asked bluntly. Steve, who had been taking a drink, started choking on his water.

"What's a dib force?" Lucy asked as Steve continued to choke. Oh God, Steve thought to himself.

"Julia-"

"Susie's parents got divorced," she continued.

"Julia," Steve said again, his tone more firm. He didn't need to get into this right now with his seven year old, in front of his daughter who still didn't know any better, without their mother around. "Not now." Julia pushed herself away from the table and started to walk off. "Julia-"

"I'm not hungry!" she shouted, stomping up the stairs. Steve sighed, resting his head in his hands as his elbows rested on the table. He couldn't believe this was happening right now. He looked over when he felt Lucy standing next to him and tugging on his shirt sleeve.

"Daddy."

"Hm?" Please, don't let her ask was a divorce is again, he silently begged.

"Can we watch The Little Mermaid?" she asked; Steve let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Yes."

Steve got up early the next morning, not having slept well the night before. He made eggs and sausage for breakfast, leaving it on the stove for when the girls got up. He was sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading the paper; Alexia would be home soon from the hospital. He looked up when he heard someone on the stairs; it was Julia. She hadn't said a word to him the rest of the night before.

"Mornin' kiddo," he said, getting up to grab a plate for her. He tried to be cheerful, like nothing happened the night before.

"I'm a vegetarian," she warned as he placed two sausage links on her plate.

"Since when?" he asked, removing them before handing her the plate.

"Since forever," she said back, sitting down.

"You're seven," he noted, sitting across from her. "Forever's not that long." There she went again, rolling her eyes at him. Since when did she start acting like a seventeen year old with all of this attitude? "Besides, you need protein."

"Eggs have protein," she said back. "And mom says it's ok. And she's a doctor."

"Uh huh," Steve nodded, sitting back in his chair. Sitting across the table, it felt like him and Julia were in a standoff. "Listen, honey-"

"Hi daddy!" Lucy said, skipping down the stairs. "Hi Julesy!"

"Hey sweetheart," he smiled, getting up to fix a plate for her too. Once they sat down, he decided he needed to give them the news. The angry look on Julia's face killed him and he knew Lucy was afraid he was going to leave at any minute.

"So," he started out saying. "I have some good news for you girls." They both looked up, interested; even Julia couldn't resist good news. "I'm getting a new job," he went on. "And I'll get to stay here, I won't have to go away anymore."

"Yay!" Lucy squealed, jumping out of her chair and running over to hug him.

"Really?" Julia asked, equally as excited. She had been so mad at her dad for leaving all the time, but now she didn't care; he was coming home. She got up to hug him too.

"Hey guys," Alexia said, coming in the front door. She smiled when she heard the girls squealing and laughing. "What's going on?"

"Dad got a new job!" Julia told her excitedly.

"And he can live here!" Lucy went on. "And we can have breakfast every day, and we can go swimming, and daddy can come to my ballet recital…" She was ready to list a million things.

"Wow," Alexia nodded, faking a smile. "That's great! But you know girls, you have to go get ready for dance practice. Susie and her mom are going to be here any minute to take you." The girls nodded, each kissing their dad on the cheek before getting up from the table to change. Alexia turned, going over to the counter to pour herself some coffee.

"Want anything to eat?" Steve offered; she shook her head, sipping on her coffee and leaning back against the counter. When she looked at him, it was like she was trying to burn holes through him with her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, giving him a fake smile. "Just wish you would have talked to me about this new job first."

"I thought this was what you wanted," he said. They kept their voices low, with the girls being right upstairs.

"You should have told me before them!" she insisted; she was quiet, but her tone was angry. "Now they think you're just going to move back in and we'll be this big happy family, and-"

"I never moved out," he reminded her. "I was away." Alexia rolled her eyes. "Lex-"

"Don't Lex me," she said, using the same tone as him. From the kitchen, she finally noticed the living room and the couch; it was untouched. "Did you sleep on the couch last night?"

"No," he said, sounding confused. "I slept upstairs."

"In my bed?" Lex asked, her mouth dropping open.

"Our bed," he corrected her.

"Ha, wow," she said sarcastically, taking another sip.

"What?"

"Our seven year old gets this better than you, that's what."

"Yeah," he nodded, getting angrier now. "And what the hell is going on there? What, did you tell her it's all my fault?"

"She figured that one out on her own."

"Lex-" They both stopped when they heard the girls coming back downstairs, in matching black leotards, pink tights, and pink ballet shoes.

"Susie's mom is here," Julia said, leading her sister by the hand to the door. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Lucy shouted over her shoulder.

"Bye," the parents said at the same time as the door shut. Once the girls were gone, Steve knew the fight was really about to start. It had been months since they had actually spoken and things were about to boil over.

"I thought this was what you wanted," Steve reiterated after a long awkward silence, getting up from the table to stand on the opposite side of the middle counter from her. "I thought you wanted me home."

"You're right," she said sarcastically. "I sent you those papers as a threat to get you home. Good thing it took 8 months to work!"

"Lex, listen-"

"No," she interrupted him. "It literally took someone dying to get you back here."

"Don't say it like that, that's not fair."

"It's true! What, it has to take something awful to happen to us for you to come back?"

"That is not fair," he said again. "This is my job, all right? I've never once asked you to quit your job, what you love to do."

"My job doesn't put me into war zones and face to face with terrorists, for one," she started off. "I was afraid of my girls not having their dad!"

"Don't turn this into that," he told her. "Don't make this about your dad." Lex couldn't believe he took it there; Steve couldn't believe he did either.

"Fine," she said, crossing her arms. "Let's bring this back to you. Did you know we were almost there?"

"There?" he asked, confused. "Where is there?"

"Your dad's that morning!" she screamed at him. "I was taking the girls there to drop them off because I had work, but we were running late." Her eyes started welling up with tears. "We got there, and all these cop cars were outside…" She stopped to wipe her eyes. "Could you have lived with that?"

"No," he said quietly. He couldn't believe he had been so close to losing his whole family like that. "That's why I'm going to be here now though. That's why I-"

"And that's great," she said, going over to the kitchen drawer to search for something while she spoke. "That's really great, because the girls need you and I need the help. But…" She set the papers on the counter. "You can't stay here."

"You're kidding me," he said, getting angry all over again. "You're doing this now?"

"You can't avoid this anymore Steve," she told him. "It's a small island."

"Well, I'm not signing," he said, taking a seat back at the table. "And I'm not leaving."

Lex didn't know what else to say. She would open her mouth, but nothing would come out. Eventually, she stomped off, up the stairs, and to their bedroom where she slammed the door. Steve heard the door open again as she walked back down the upstairs hall.

"And I can't believe you slept up here!" she shouted down the steps before throwing his suitcase down them. She stormed back into the bedroom, slamming the door again before reaching for her cell phone.

Steve was standing at the counter trying to collect his thoughts. The papers were still there, practically staring back at him. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. He went to answer it, shaking his head at his suitcase lying at the bottom of the steps. He was surprised to see a cop car in the driveway; the man at the door wasn't in uniform, but in a shirt and tie, with his badge on his belt. Why was a detective here?

"Is everything ok?" Steve asked.

"I got a call," he explained. "About a domestic disturbance."

"From who?" Steve asked.

"Hi Danny," Lex said, coming down the stairs. She had changed out of her work clothes and into jean capris and a blue tank top; her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun.

"Lex," he nodded at her. "Everything all right?"

"Oh you gotta be kidding me," Steve said, looking between the two of them in annoyance. "A domestic disturbance?" Lex shrugged. "And what, you're on a first name basis with a detective, you called personally?"

"Our daughters are in the same dance class," Danny said, holding his hands up as if to say nothing was going on, which nothing was. "Julia and Grace are friends." He extended his hand for a handshake. "Danny Williams."

"Steve McGarrett," he said, shaking his hand. "You're not married."

"Uh, no, thanks for noticing?"

"Is something going on here?"

"No." "Maybe." Danny and Lex said at the same time.

"No," Danny repeated, giving Lex a look; she was obviously trying to start something with Steve and was using him to do it. "I have my own ex wife to deal with, I don't need yours too."

"She's not my ex-wife!" Steve said.

"Yes I am!" Lex said back. "And you need to get out of my house."

"She has a point-"

"I never signed," Steve said to Lex, interrupting Danny.

"Ah, well," Danny said. "Then I guess, it's still his house too-"

"Danny!"

"Yeah, ok," Danny said, getting annoyed as this was a waste of his time. "Do you either of you feel like your safety has been threatened in any way?"

"No," Steve answered; they both looked at Alexia.

"Ugh, no," she muttered, not getting the results she wanted; she never felt threatened by Steve though, she knew he'd never hurt her.

"Uh huh," Danny nodded, remembering arguments with his own ex-wife; at least she never called the police. "So, I'm gonna go, I'll see you later since I have to pick up the girls from dance." He turned to go, then stopped. "Can I suggest getting on the same page before they get back?" Steve nodded.

"Thanks Danny," he said, shutting the door. Danny shook his head, chuckling a little as he thought about Rachel. He could still hear them arguing.

"You were going to have me arrested?"

"I can't get you to leave otherwise!"

Alexia went back upstairs and sat on her bed. For whatever reason, she felt the urge to get up and look in her closet for the wedding album. It was in the very back, where she had hidden it behind several shoe boxes. Looking at the photos, she started to tear up.

Steve sat on the couch, shocked at what happened just now. Things were getting out of hand fast. How did things get like this? He wondered this as he took an old photo from his wallet; it was a wallet size photo from 10th grade homecoming, which was his and Lex's first date.

Author Note: this is my first story so please review and let me know what you think! the next several chapters are going to be flashbacks from high school and college