Chp 51: "I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now. I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming... Listen, I would take a whisper if that's all you have to give. You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head." Echo by Jason Walker

A/N: The song in this chapter really applies more to the last paragraph but I'm trying not to split the story into too many chapters which is why this one is so long. Enjoy!

Months passed quietly, Loki continued as advisor to Odin and Thor;sneaking off on hunts and to the library. But every night he would return to Alex's arms. She still had her own room but spent most of her time in the gardens or on Loki's bed, reading his many books. She got along well with the other women who made up the court, but still spent many afternoons sparring with Sif or learning archery. Sif loved the fact that there was another girl around who appreciated the finer arts of combat even if Alex didn't have the strength or stamina of an Asgardian.

Their peaceful existence came to an end slowly. The dark shadow of war crept up like frost on the ground. The darkening storm was seen on the horizon and everyone knew that there was something amiss. But no one knew exactly what or how big the threat was until one sunny warm afternoon.

Alex didn't hear the news until a friend of Sif's came running into the training grounds. The message was short but had both girls dashing for the palace steps in moments. 'The Allfather is dying.' Swords were shoved into their sheaths as their boots resounded on the golden steps. They dashed to the royal hall, both keeping an eye out for either of the princes. There was a crowd around the heavy wooden doors to the royal chambers and four guards were positioned in front, keeping everyone out, including the advisors and the warriors three.

"Volstagg. Is it true?" Sif asked, not the slightest out of breath as Alex panted beside her. "Yes, unfortunately the Allfather fell after rising from the throne." Alex's eyes went straight to the doors, her thoughts on Loki and the strong king who had called her brave. "No one is allowed to enter. It will be awhile for news." Fandral supplied, his casual stance didn't match the tension Alex saw in his eyes. "What about Loki and Thor?" She asked, feeling helpless. "Inside." Fandral said, a nod to the doors.

Alex bit her lip. She doubted she would be allowed entrance but she didn't want her husband dealing with this on his own. Making up her mind, she made her way to the guards blocking the way. They straightened when they saw her and Sif behind her. The warriors three stood behind them, ignoring protests from advisors and counsel members, who believed them to be less important than themselves.

"Would Sif and I be allowed to enter?" She asked, keeping her voice low so only the guard could hear her. "I do not think so. Only the royal family-" He hesitated, realizing that technically Alex was now part of the royal family. "It's alright. May I ask that if Loki or Thor wishes to see us. Sif and I will be in my chambers." The guard nodded, his solemn expression not changing. "You have my word, Princess." Alex thanked him and walked back through the crowd. "Come on, we'll wait in my room." She said, grabbing Sif's hand and looking back to the warriors three so that they would follow.

Servants brought plates of fruits, but no one, not even Volstagg had much of an appetite. Volstagg and Fandral were seated on the chairs that normally surrounded a small dining table. Hogun stood leaning against a pillar by the balcony, silent as usual. Sif sat on the edge of Alex's bed, her elbows on her knees and head bent. "Perhaps it's just another Odin'sleep." Sif said, sounding more hopeful than she felt. "The entire court wouldn't be standing outside his door if it was just that." Fandral pointed out playing with one of his daggers. Alex paced the floor, glancing at her reflection in the dresser mirror as she passed. She looked like a warrior, black leather boots, pants and a white off the shoulder shirt, half hidden by the silver metal chest plate. At her side hung her sword a gift from Loki, enchanted to be light and accurate. But at the moment she felt more like a terrified child.

"This has happened before? Odin passing out?" She asked, biting her lip in worry. "Sometimes. Every few years Odin falls into a deep sleep. His magic uses that time to restore, he is very powerful." Volstagg supplied and Alex thought this over. "So if he needs to recharge, why is this time different?" Alex asked. "No one really knows. He is well over 5000 years old." Sif commented. Alex felt dread take over as she sat down on the foot of her bed. "A battery can only recharge so many times before it starts to slow down. Eventually it just won't hold electricity anymore. Odin's body maybe can't hold that amount of magic anymore." Alex said, trying to figure out if there was anyway to help Odin.

"It is crude, but does make sense." Volstagg commented. "So how do you fix these batteries?" He asked, Alex could hear the hope in his voice. She quietly answered, he voice echoing around the room. "You don't. They get thrown out and replaced with a shiny new one." The silence was deafening and Alex felt the first tear slip down her cheek. She may not have known Odin for long or well. But she had respected him and honestly thought of him as a permanent fixture in Asgard.

"We can't just sit here! There must be something to cure him. Some quest for a potion or…something." Fandral said, jumping to his feet. "There isn't. If there was, don't you think Thor wouldn't already be dragging us to the Bifrost?" Sif said, clearly loosing her temper. "What about Loki? He is a powerful magic user. Can't he just heal Odin?" Volstagg asked. "Unless he doesn't want to." Alex's head snapped up as she glared at Fandral. "You're saying that Loki doesn't want Odin alive?" She demanded. Fandral stepped back a step. "All I'm saying is that they have never gotten along and with the Allfather gone, Loki is one step closer to the throne." It took five steps and one whole second for Alex to march across the room and slap Fandral as hard as she could. His cheek flared red and her hand was burning; but it made her feel better. "Do not ever tell lies about my husband. Loki cares for Odin even if he has never shown it. If there was a way to heal Odin, Loki would not hesitate to do it. Understood?" Fandral nodded, one hand to his cheek. Alex took three steps back, feeling slight guilt but ignoring it. Fandral deserved it.

A sudden knocking interrupted the tense silence. "Enter." Sif said, everyone was now even more tense. "Excuse me. The Allfather has requested your presence." It was a royal guard, his sombre face a reminder at what was occurring nearby. "My presence?" Alex asked, unsure since the guard had only bowed and not gestured towards any of them. "The warriors three, Lady Sif and Princess Alexandria." The guard clarified and they all gave each other confused looks, the past outburst forgotten.

They quickly followed the guards down the hall back to the royal chambers. Sif and Hogun were in the lead and Alex took the opportunity of being beside Fandral to apologize. "Fandral, I am sorry. I lost my temper." She said in a low voice, not caring if the others heard, but wanting to avoid more rumours around the palace. Fandral glanced over before a small smile lifted the corners of his perfect lips. "It is quite alright. Young women always loose control when they are in my presence. Although they rarely tend to do so in anger." Alex smiled a little back, glad he had forgiven her.

They took a back door into the royal chambers and walked through the living area into the large bedroom behind. Alex bit her lip to avoid gasping at the sight. In a large bed with a golden headboard similar to the throne, lay Odin. Propped up on many pillows, he was wearing white and covered with a giant fur blanket. Frigga was sitting on one side, her hand on his, while Loki and Thor stood on the other. No one spoke as they entered and they stopped at the foot of the bed, all bowing down.

Odin lifted one hand and gave a small slow wave. "Come forward, warriors three." Frigga said, the three men walked closer stopping beside Frigga. "My king." Vollstagg said as they bowed again. "The warriors three. You have fought bravely at my son's side and even against my word, travelled with him. Showing him more loyalty than most warriors in Asgard do to their own king. Continue to serve Thor well. Protect my son and help guide him through which ever journeys he takes." The warriors bowed and responded with 'Yes, My King.' They left the room at the guard's wave.

Sif was called next. "Young Sif, you have shown that anyone can become a true warrior of Asgard. It is my wish that you fight by Thor's side as a warrior and as his wife. I had hope to see my grandchildren become great warriors." A coughing fit took over and Alex bit her lip. Odin still looked healthy but he seemed so weak. Loki glanced over at her and she met his eyes. Fandral's words repeating in her head before she shoved them away. The grim look on Loki's face matched Thor's though showed less of his emotions since tears trickled down Thor's cheeks.

"I am fine." Odin waved away their concern. "Sif, will you do this for me?" Sif looked up at Thor who nodded. "I will Allfather, I swear upon my sword that they will be great warriors, each and everyone of them." Sif left soon after, with a 'Thank you' from Frigga and an assuring nod from Thor, who looked like he wanted to leave with her.

"Alexandria." Frigga softly called. Alex felt like the walk to Frigga's side took an eternity, but the ten steps also came too soon. She looked down at Odin and bowed. "Yes, my king?" Odin chuckled a small smile lit up his features. "After all this time, you finally call me your king." It had been a running joke between them. Alex refusing to call Odin the King or Allfather. She even would call him old man when they were in private dinners as a family. Loki had rolled his eyes each time. "Do not be too surprised, I don't believe your heart could take such a shock." She smiled amidst her tears, now streaming down her face. Odin laughed this time, another couching fit threatened but did not come. "Become a warrior like my sons so that Valhalla can meet the girl I'll be telling stories of." Odin said. Alex nodded. "I will."

Odin suddenly became serious. "Come. There is something only you should know." Alex sat on the edge of his bed, leaning over so Odin could whisper in her ear. "Loki still has darkness in his heart. I fear he may never be free of it. But you have been able to take some of it away. Stay by his side, no matter what path he chooses and guide him so that he does not give in to his madness." Alex pulled away in shock. Odin had mentioned Loki's hate but made it seem like it was in the past. Now he was warning her that Loki was a threat. "Promise me." Odin said, grabbing her hand so hard it hurt. "I will. I swear. Asgard, it's people and both of the princes will be safe." She said, putting emphasis on both, so that Odin knew that she understood. "Then you will need this." Alex felt warmth rush into her hand, up her arm and through her. The warmth turned to tingling and into ice needles as if her arm had fallen asleep.

He suddenly let go, looking worse than ever. "Odin!" Frigga said, pressing closer to her husband. Alex numbly moved out of the way and Loki was staring at her in shock. She glanced at Thor who was now kneeling on his father's bed, shouting for the healer. Alex did the only thing she could think of at the moment… she ran.

The palace went by in a blur, then the city itself, until she stood at the edge of Asgard itself. Not able to go a step further, she dropped to her knees as she sobbed. Odin was dead, her king. Because even after living all her life on earth, Asgard felt like home and Odin like a father. She had already lost her family once and now it seemed that her new one was slipping away like sand between her fingers. Even Loki, her pillar in her life was now a maybe enemy according to Odin, something she had to protect the world from. She looked up at the sky, seeing a single star between her tears that continued to flow down her face. "I never stopped believing in you. Even in a world of Gods I always prayed to you. I fixed my mistakes...tried to be a better person. Why? Why must I always end up alone?" She ended up screaming. She didn't care. No one was around the forested area and the one she wanted to talk to began to feel little more than a children story. "It's because I killed him, I caused Magnis death and this is my punishment. I always get a new life, hope for a new future and someone to care about just for it to all be ripped away. What do you want from me?" She demanded, not screaming but frustrated and confused. It felt like her world was shattering and Odin's words kept echoing in her mind "darkness in his heart...madness...stay...guide him." How could she protect Loki if he was such a danger to Asgard and how could she protect him from himself? She thought he was fine... he had acted completely caring towards Asgard and its citizens since she had come. Even going so far as to forgive Odin. Could she stay by Loki's side? Even if he turned on everyone, even if he turned on her?