Worse Wishes Chapter 3

Interlude

Ilyasviel von Einzbern was peeved at some recent developments in this Holy Grail War. Firstly, there was a mysterious, totally unprecedented, and horribly over-powered Servant running around. Secondly, this mystery Servant had the gall to walk into her own castle and stab her Berserker with a knife, apparently restoring her Hercules to sanity. Thirdly, this Servant told all of the Servants to instruct their Masters to summon six more Servants, because Onii-chan had summoned seven damn Sabers. Onii-chan's refusal to lay down and die was also a problem, but it paled in comparison to this mystery Servant. But none of that mattered to Ilya. She was going to perform the ritual to summon Servants again anyways. After all, given the opportunity to summon again, she'd have to be mad not to take it.

"Everything is perfect." Ilya said to no one in particular, in spite of there being her three companions, both her Servant Hercules and her servants, Leysritt and Sella. Leysritt had her halberd. They were prepared for anything. Iyla was the strongest master ever produced by the Einzbern clan. No matter what came through that circle, they could kill it. The larger master circle had six smaller circles laid out in a hexagon. It was the moment of success or failure. Ilya started the hour long ritual at exactly the proper time. And she finished perfectly on schedule. Each of the smaller summoning circles rose in a pillar of pure light, together so bright they darkened the sun. As the light faded Ilya looked with pride on her seven Berserkers. Three of the Servants were knights in brilliant armor, one golden and unarmed, the second silvery white with a sword on his hip, and the third in dull, bolt like metal with a large hilt visible over his shoulder. The fourth was a man with a wolf pelt thrown over his shoulders like a cape, the head of the pelt serving as his hood. Fifth was a proud, Chinese looking man, a halberd not unlike Leysritt's head down before his feet. And last was a man in his apparent 40's, wearing aviator sunglasses, combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open front Hawaiian print shirt over a shirt with no sleeves. With a graying mohawk and a beard. Ilya fought the urge to beat her head against a wall. Six fine, proper, upstanding Servants and that thing. Her perfect reputation was ruined.

"I'm Ilyasviel von Einzbern, your Master. I need to know your names." Ilya fought to regain her composure and sound imposing.

The golden knight answered first "I am Enkidu of Babylon." Ilya was surprised that she had summoned such an obviously powerful servant without a catalyst.

The Wolf man was next "Wolf the Quarrelsome. It's fine if ye haven't heard of me before. Oh, and I'm going ta be borrowing that lovely lady's axe, if'n ye dun mind."He said, nodding towards Leysritt. An obvious Irishman, but Ilya liked his attitude.

She turned to the Chinese man. He caught her gaze with his own. "Lu Bu. I serve you until Judgement, Master." Ilya had heard of him, even in Europe. Between Lu Bu, Enkidu, and Hercules, not much would be standing in her way. Especially not Onii-chan and his Sabers. Ilya smiled cruelly at the thought of what she would do to her brother after she killed all of his Servants.

The silver knight spoke up next "I am Sir Lancelot of the Lake. At your service, Master." He kneeled before her. With even only four such spectacular Servants, what hope could any of the other Masters have? Her smile morphed into a grin.

The dark knight was growing impatient. Ilya looked at him and he spoke "Most call me Beowulf, Master, at your summoning I have come forth." Ilya was awestruck with her Servants. In this room were five of the most over the top heroes in history. And they all answered to her and her alone.

She turned, beaming, to the last of them, and her smile faded. The bizarre man had pulled something akin to a cigarette out of somewhere and was smoking it. "And who might you be?"

His answer was an almost incomprehensible grunt between puffs on the thing in his mouth. "Henderson."

"Is that your first or last name?" She inquired, more out of duty than curiousity.

"I haven't a fucking clue. Have you seen any of me lawn gnomes around?"

Interlude

Bazett woke up the next morning, after another mad love session with Lancer. The Irish mage had to admit she was impressed by her Servant's stamina and –other- skills. She knew the stories and all, but this was ridiculous. 3 times a night, twice in a row. He was truly insatiable. And she was sore. She tried to roll over and sleep it off but Lancer still had his arm over her body and he was sound asleep. Bazett's left arm was free of her Servant's body. She paused to consider her options, and after a moment's thought, she hauled back and punched Lancer in the face. Thankfully she didn't have a good angle on the punch, otherwise she might have hurt her hand on his chiseled jaw. She shook her head at that thought, she needed to stop thinking about her Servant like that. Her Servant and his fantastic body. No, there she goes again. Lancer flew out of bed and took most of the blankets with him.

"Bazett, we need to talk." Lancer was very calm, almost too calm for having just gotten punched in the face.

"What is it Lancer?" Bazett was honestly curious. She was also starting to get cold.

"This has to stop. You. Me. Us. This can't continue." Lancer turned away as he said this.

Bazett lay there in stunned silence as what Lancer had said slowly sunk in. "Y-Y-You mean you're breaking up with me?" Bazett slowly stood.

"I guess I am." Bazett tackled him from behind, nearly bowling Lancer over as her arms wrapped around him.

"But why? What did I do? If it's something I haven't done, I'll do it! If it something I've done I'll undo it! Why don't you love me Lancer?" Lancer turned around and raised Bazett's face until her tear-filled eyes met his. Her tears were cascading down her cheeks. Lancer was struck by her beauty, just as he was the day she summoned him into this time. Only, this time it was different. This time, instead of merely seeing a pretty lass, he saw a woman completely and utterly in love with him. She reminded him of more than one woman during his life. But this time was different. This time he felt himself tearing up in response to her. His strong arms wrapped around her, surrounding her with his warmth.

"I do. That's the problem. I can't defend you like this. I need to keep you safe. Partly to atone for all the people I let down when I was alive. But mostly-" His tears started running down his face. "But mostly so that I have something to win this war for. Bazett Fraga McRemitz, I'm fighting for you. I'm fighting to be with you. But I know we won't win this fight unless we stop this. I love you, Master." Lancer buried his face in her hair as she blubbered into his chest. They stood there crying on each other for what seemed like hours. Lancer eventually looked at the clock. "Master, The peak of your power is about 10 in the morning, right?"

"Yes, it is. Why is it so important, Servant?"

"Because it's 8:30 now, that gives us 45 minutes to get ready before we need to start the summoning ritual." Lancer pointed out. "45 minutes is just enough time for us both to clean ourselves up." She looked up into his eyes again.

"You're right Lancer, I must look a frightful mess." Bazett sighed.

"You didn't until I dribbled some snot into your hair." Lancer dematerialized with one last joke at Bazett's expense. Bazett just blushed a little, sighed and went to take a shower.

She couldn't get Lancer's speech out of her head the entire time. 'I love you'. He had finally said it to her. After she had tried so hard, for so long. It was worth it to hear those words. She resolved then and there to win this damn War and live out the rest of her life with him. It was the wish they shared. She finished in the shower and dried herself off. When she finished that, she got dressed and walked down to the kitchen for breakfast. Lancer already had her coffee on the counter, waiting for her. He was bad at making the drink, but it's the thought that counts. She smiled a little as she opened the cupboard and made herself some simple oatmeal.

When she finished with her breakfast, she went down to the basement to the summoning circle she and her Servant had prepared the night before. They'd gone over all of her previous circles and improved on them well into the night. Between his runes and her magic, they had designed a summoning circle based around a six-pointed Star of David, if all went well, each new Servant would appear in one of the triangular points, with Bazett and Cu Chulainn in the middle. Bazet and Lancer stood back to back and began the ritual, she chanting, and he writing runes in the air. They needed to not screw this up, and they both knew it. All too soon it was over, the circle activating and six new Servants appearing. As everyone started staring warily at each other, Bazett broke the silence.

"I know that this is a little unusual, but a Magus across town summoned seven Sabers." Bazett opened.

"And an as-yet-unknown-Servant. This Mystery Servant seems to have taken it on himself to figure out just what went wrong." Lancer continued.

"In the meantime, every Master is summoning seven Servants from each Class. Thus, seven Lancers." Bazett finished.

One of the men facing her, a Southern European by the looks of him spoke "Anything else we need to know?"

Lancer answered "The Mystery Servant is extremely powerful and seems to be able to force other Servants not to fight. One of his Noble Phantasms I think. Furthermore, said Servant is capable of broadcasting messages to every participant in this war simultaneously."

"Anyway, I'm going to need you gentlemen to introduce yourselves." Bazett looked around expectantly. She pointed at the one who asked for more information earlier "You first, introduce yourself please. We'll go clockwise from there."

The man drew himself up to his full height. "I am Saint Longinus of the Lance." Bazett stared at him. Longinus was one of the oldest and best known saints in all Christendom. And she'd summoned him as her Servant.

Bazett turned to look at the next Lancer "And you?"

"Karna, at your service." He bowed gracefully. Bazett hadn't heard of him, so she moved on.

Next was a Japanese-looking man "Honda Tadakatsu, wielder of Tonbo-Giri, the Dragonfly Cutter." Bazett had no clue what he was talking about, but it sounded awesome.

After that was another Southern European "I'm Achilles, the greatest of the Greek heroes. And-"

Cu Chulainn cut in "Bullshit, Hercules is the greatest of the Greeks. And he's a Berserker."

Achilles took half a step back "Hercules as a Berserker? Oh Gods on Olympus, no."

Bazett nodded in agreement "Basically. Next?" And she kept turning.

"Sun Wukong. Or the Monkey King, whichever you prefer, Master."

Bazett replied "The tail was a bit of a tip off. I've heard of your exploits even back in Ireland."

The last Lancer perked up when he heard she was Irish. "You're from Ireland? Where?"

Bazett turned to face the Lancer. He wore a green outfit similar to Cu Chulainn's and had two spears for some reason. "Ulster. Who are you?"

"I'm Diarmuid Ua Duibhne."

"I seriously summoned Diarmuid of the Love Spot?"

"Yes you did." Cu Chulainn answered from behind her. "And just for fairness, I'm Cu Chulainn. Also, Bazett?"

"Yes, Lan- Cu Chulainn? What is it?" Bazett turned around. And she saw her beloved Servant, her lover, Cu Chulainn clad in armor. Armor that she hadn't seen ever before. "Cu, what happened?"

"Either that summoning ritual got me closer to my roots, or it gave me another Noble Phantasm. This is the armor I wore in life, though I don't recall it having any special properties. I'm not complaining. It feels more comfortable than that body suit anyway." Cu Chulainn shrugged.

"Not for me." Bazett mumbled.

"Um, Master?" Achilles spoke up. "Do you have any food?"

"I'm not much of a cook, but I'll see what I can do. All of you, do you have outfits that are a little less," She paused to think of the word "over the top?"

"Ah, subtlety is requested." Sun said.

"Yes exactly. More like required." Bazett nodded and led the procession of hungry Servants up the stairs.

"Alright, fellow Lancers. I think we can all agree that next time we want a meal. We should go out and buy one for ourselves." Bazett glared at Karna as he said this.

"Agreed." Seven voices rung out in unison, Bazett's among them. Bazett was a horrible cook after all. She could admit it with grace.

Shirou

I woke up at my usual time and went over last night mentally.

Flashback

After Arthur's recap of the Servant meeting, I went shopping. I took Lily, Arturia, Joan, and Nero with me. They needed less obvious clothing, so we stopped by the clothing shop and left Lily, Joan, and Nero. Lily, Altria, Mordred, and Arturia were practically body doubles, and Arthur was about my size, so those three were really the only ones who had to actually buy clothing. I left Joan and Lily with more money than the three of them would need and instructions to keep the outfits typical. Arturia went to get the food. As the two of us were walking down the street, I saw the park where I'd met with Ilya a few times last War. I pointed it out as such to my companion.

"Shirou, you really should be more careful about that sort of thing." She chided.

"It was fine. She never had Berserker with her during the day, besides she's my little sister." I point out.

"You know that, and I know that, but does she?" Arturia just won't give up on this thread.

"She knew it last time; I don't see why it would be any different this time." I shut down this conversation before it could turn into a straight up argument there on the street.

"I know. What do you want to cook for dinner tonight?" She let go of the 'Other Masters are dangerous.' thing. I guess she figured that I'd gotten that beaten into me last time around.

"I haven't really thought of that. Something western." I shrugged.

"Thank you, that'll be nice." She smiled at me.

The two of us finished getting groceries, then went by to pick up the other three Sabers. Then our merry party went back home. Altria and Mordred were on guard duty, Arthur was presumably inside, maybe with Sakura. Once we were inside, Mordred, Altria, and Arturia went off to try on their new clothing. I left Nero and Lily on lookout, and Joan and I went into the dining room.

I walked into the dining room and I stopped dead, in stunned silence. Sakura had her arms around Arthur's neck and her cloudy eyes were half shut. Arthur, by contrast looked more panicked that I ever wanted to see any of my Servants and had one hand over her mouth, with the other pushing her gently off of him.

"Sakura, what is going on here?" I ask, as gently as I can. She looks up at me and I can almost hear something in her mind shatter. I know instantly that she's in pain, not physically, but in every other way. I see her tears welling up, and I hate myself for making her feel like this.

"Sempai, I- I- I'vegottogodosomething!" she practically screams as she rushes out of the house, nearly flattening Joan and I in the process. I look after her in silence. I hate it when I make people cry. Especially when they're people I care about.

Joan turned to Arthur, "Yes, Arthur, just what's going on?" Arthur made a sound I didn't think he was capable of making, and Joan grabbed him by the hair and started to drag him off.

"Joan, where are you taking him?" I queried, it would be troublesome if they weren't back in time for dinner.

"The dojo, I'm going to teach him the consequences of kissing underage girls behind my back." Joan smiled evilly down at Arthur.

"I didn't kiss her! Did you not see me trying to pry her off of me?!" Arthur yelled.

"Oh, is that what you were doing?" Joan gritted out from between clenched teeth.

"Arthur, face your death like a true man. I'll write a poem for your grave after it's over." I told the two of them. "And, Joan, be back in time for dinner."

"Yes, Master, of course." Joan replied and she dragged him off.

All of the Sabers were gathered around the table for dinner. Mordred, Lily, Altria, and Arturia were all in their new 'public' clothing. Nero was as well, but she looked so very different, between her, natural assets, and her willingness to flaunt them. Joan decided to go for bit of a change and was wearing a black dress, instead of her usual white. Arthur was in one of my shirts and jeans. Between the eight of us, the amount of food we ate was prodigious.

"Guys if we keep this up, I'm going have to go shopping again in two days." I called out from the kitchen. After I finished with the dishes, I walked back to the dining room. Only Arturia was there.

"Saber, what's going on?" I asked.

"Altria said something about a bath, Nero and Mordred are out on guard duty, Lily is still playing dress up, and Joan and Arthur are off doing," she paused "something together." She looked down for just a moment.

"Define 'something'." I sat down next to her and reached my arm around her shoulders.

"I think they're making love." Saber leaned against me as she said that. I tipped her head back a little and turned my own to face hers.

"What would you like to do tonight, Saber?" I asked her, moving my head slowly towards hers. In answer, she reached her arm up around my head and pulled me into a long, slow, almost chaste, kiss.

"Hold like you did that night. The night before the battle."

"I will. On one condition. Finish what you were about to say as the sun broke over the horizon." I hold her closer against me.

"Shirou, I love you." Saber whispered in my ear. With that, I picked her up in the 'Princess' or 'Bridal' carry and brought her back to my- no, our bedroom. All in all, it was a good night.

End Flashback

I stood out in front of my school during the lunch break, staring in disbelief at my Servants. All seven of them decided to stand guard outside of school today. "Only three of you can stay!" I hissed at them.

'But which three? That's the only question." Lily smiled at me like the saint Joan was.

I thought for a moment. "Arturia, Arthur, and Nero can stay. The rest of you, go home." The four I didn't name shot me venomous looks. Especially Joan for some reason. Ah, she didn't want to be away from Arthur. Well, too bad for her, she'd have to deal with it. With this crisis averted, I turned back to go eat lunch with Issei, as usual. Thankfully, today I had had time to make myself lunch. Both Fuji-nee and Sakura almost seemed to be avoiding me this morning, it was really weird. I worried about those two more than I should with the War on. I opened the door to the Student Council Room and there were two figures there for some reason. Issei and Tohsaka.

"Good morning, Emiya- san." Issei looked up when he heard the door open.

"Good morning you two." I replied.

"Good, the fake janitor is here. Ryudou-san, can we start now?" Rin seems to be really impatient about something.

"Alright. Shirou, Tohsaka,- how do I ask this- Are you two Magi?" issei asks bluntly. For crying out loud, what was he saying?

"Yes." Rin answers nonchalantly. I stare at her for a second. What was she thinking?

"Yeah, but I'm bad at it." I figure it's best to be truthful.

"And the two of you are Masters? Each with your own Servants?"

"OF course." Damn, Rin, sometimes I hate your cocky attitude.

"Yeah. Why is this so important, Issei?" I leave my most important question unasked How did you find out?

"Because I'm serving as Anchor for the Emperor." Issei dropped a bombshell on the two of us.

"Anchor, what so you mean by that?" Rin cut to the chase.

"It's kind of like a Master, but only if you're a non-magus. It basically means that I'm just here to keep him spending prana like crazy just to walk around. Even with Independent Action, he needs prana to survive. I just cut down on his passive use" Tohsaka's getting angry. "Don't look at me like that, Tohsaka-san. The situation isn't entirely unprecedented."

"Name just one case, Ryudou-san. Just one." Rin barely made out from between her grinding teeth.

"Easily, Souchirou-sensei and Caster-chan are a perfect example." I had a spit- take. Souchirou-sensei, the robotic man, and Caster? The psycho who nearly killed me in my own home before Gilgamesh destroyed her? That Caster?! The man himself walked into the room from the adjacent staff lounge.

"Ryudou-san. Caster just informed me that both Berserker's and Lancer's Masters have summoned their full compliment. Only Caster, Assassin, and Rider are left."

"Thank you Souchiou-sensei, and please thank Caster-san for me." Issei nodded to him.

"I already have." The teacher turned and walked out, back the way he had come in.

"Only Caster, Assassin, and Rider, huh?" Rin seemed lost in thought. "I wonder what's taking them so long."

"Does it matter, Tohsaka-san?" I ask her, knowing she may bite my head off for such a question.

"Not really." She shrugged.

The bell to end lunch rung and the three of us filed out to our classrooms. I was still worried about Sakura.

I walked out to my Servants. I was late enough to avoid the immediate rush out after school, but too early for any of the clubs to be done. "Hello everybody."

"Good afternoon Master." Arthur was the first to look up.

"Hello Shirou." Nero was next.

Arturia just stood up, walked towards me and kissed me on the cheek. "Hello." The other two Sabers also stood up and walked over.

"Alright you three, I'm really worried about Sakura, so I want to leave one of you to look after her." The two girls looked at Arthur and Nero raised her eyebrow.

"She's all yours, Two-Timer." Nero said as she looked him in the eye.

Arthur closed his eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll handle it." He said resignedly.

"Good. Now, Shirou, let's go home." Arturia took me by the arm and practically dislocated my shoulder dragging me away from school. Nero followed the two of us, whistling happily. Arthur just sat back down on his bench and looked dejected.

Interlude

"Proto-Gil, I'm worried about a girl named Matou Sakura. She should be staying late for Archery practice. I want you to tail her and make sure she's safe tonight." Tohsaka Rin looked in fine form, her uniform billowing lightly in the wind on the roof of the school.

"I obey, Master. How will I identify the target?" The blond man seemd genuinely interested in the task Rin was setting him. She guessed it was a round-about way of coming on to her. He did that a lot.

She pointed to the Archery dojo. "That building, long purple hair, smells like flowers, decent shot."

"You seem to know a lot about her, crush or some such?" Gil leaned back and laughed.

"Just keep her safe." Rin snapped and headed for the door.

"I obey. Truly, my Master is most terrifying. I wonder if that holds true between the sheets." Rin stalked in, off the roof. The King just turned waited for his mark to appear at the end of practice. "Matou Sakura, huh? It's such a pretty name, it's a shame it isn't Rin's or she'd be truly unresistable."

Author's Note: The boys from Prototype are getting together. And when they come together, things are going to go sideways. Next chapter should be fun. As always, review please, I really do pay attention.