Iced Hope

Author's notes: I should really put up warnings for possible suicidal thoughts and depression as we delve deeper into this story. Sorry for the late update, getting my life together is really… difficult.

Settings: The Warren and Santa's Workshop

Rating: T (for future injuries and hurt and angst and depression)

Genre: Friendship/Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Chapter V

Hope and Life

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about."
― Rumi

A groan resounded as green eyes slowly blinked open looking blearily into the darkness. E. Aster Bunnymund sat up looking around, What happened? He thought, remembering only vague memories of Jack, snow, and coldness.

He shook his head, trying to clear it but then in the darkness something glowed, catching his sight. He turned, and green eyes widened when he saw a familiar plain white egg with flecks of blue.

Hope… Bunny's heart jumped as he recognized it. He bent down and quietly approached it. The last vessel of his center, it glowed steadily, its familiar warmth inviting him closer. The rabbit's eyes burned as he reached out a paw, not believing that after all these years, finally…

But then, as he had grabbed it, the egg vanished leaving him in the darkness once more. Green eyes blinked in surprise. The Easter Bunny looked around, growling in frustration.

Damn it!Bunny knelt in defeat, ears pressing against the skull, when he saw no traces of the egg. His stomach churned as he felt the same loss of hope and frustration from years ago.

Then something cold landed on Bunny's pink nose, making it twitch.

"Hey, what's wrong cotton tail? You don't look so hot." A laughing voice made green eyes look up. Aster gaped as a certain Winter Spirit floated above him, smiling widely. "Is the poor little rabbit, scared of the dark?"

"Jack!" He called, surprised. He immediately stood up. "What are you doin' here?" He demanded, "And you- is that- are you glowing?"

The mischievous sprite laughed, blue eyes dancing merrily. He twirled in midair and suddenly millions of glowing snowflakes began to fall from the dark sky. Bunny gaped at the sight, looking around in wonder. He turned to Jack, about to ask again how he got here, when a certain trinket around his neck caught his sight.

The first vessel of Hope, the chained necklace with a rock that came from his home planet.

It was glowing.

OI! Bunny called out, hopping as he made to grab for the thing but Jack evaded him. The guardian bristled, "Ya- ya thievin' galah! Where'd you get that? Give it back to me Jack or I swear-"

"Hey, Bunny," Jack said, catching the other off guard when the rabbit jumped towards him. Heevaded it easily. Said rabbit turned to his fellow guardian in curiosity as the other carefully held the rock between his fingers. A rare soft smile graced the pale face, "Thank you."

Green eyes widened in confusion as Jack pulled off the necklace. He landed in front of the rabbit and cold slim fingers took warm paws into his, as he held the necklace between them.

"Wha-?"Bunny started to say.

But the moment the necklace made contact with Bunny's paw-

The lights went out.

His thoughts were thick and groggy. His nose twitched at the familiar scent of home. Mintcookiessand and a pinch of snow, were the first things to greet his senses.

His eyes were shut, his long ears felt uncomfortable folded against his head the whole time he'd been asleep. They twitched and stretched, eyes clenching shut at the headache the small movement caused, and he groaned.

The scent of his friends in the air grew sharper and he smelled worryfear and maybe a dash of frustration.

"Bunny?" A female voice trilled in his ear, and the sound of buzzing wings makes him wince and curl up on himself, his ears flat on his head, even though the action itself hurt, it at least, managed to dull his hearing.

In reaction, Tooth flew back, worried and wondering what she did to make him look so hurt. The Easter Rabbit continued to wince, his whiskers twitching in discomfort.

In the end, it was North who figured it out. "Shush," The Russian said, he gestured to his friends to go outside with him, he closed the curtains gently first before walking silently to the door. He softly closed the door behind them.

"It is best if we leave him be for now." North said wisely, he gestured to Phil who turned to them at their exit, "Phil, prepare warm compress and glass of water for Bunny. Be very quiet."

Phil nodded and lumbered towards the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, hesitating by Bunny's doorstep, "Is everything okay?"

"He has headache, no big deal." North assured, "Migraine, but he will be better with some rest."

Jack perked, "He woke up? He's okay?"

Tooth smiled at the youngest guardian. "We haven't talked to him yet. But yes, he's awake."

Jack's shoulders slumped in relief. North and the others exchanged looks, their expressions turning uncertain. Noticing the sudden tension, Jack turned to them, "What's wrong?"

"Since Bunny has woken up now and he would need a few hours of rest…"

Tooth fluttered close, "We think… this would be a great time to… talk."

Jack's shoulders tensed, "Look, I don't think-"

Sandy shook his head, made signs.

"Please Jack, just… let us explain before you go off again." Tooth pleaded.

Jack pursed his lips, "I'm- I'm not leaving…" He said, "Not unless I know what happened to Bunny. Not unless we're sure he's okay."

North looked hopeful, "So we talk until we know, yes?"

Jack looked up at the guardians and conceded, "Yes, let's talk."

It took a long while for the pounding in his head to disappear. He held himself as still as possible when someone came back in to leave a warm compress on his head and a pitcher of water and glass on his bed side. He appreciated the attempted stealth, but it wasn't that much of use, not when Bunny had the best hearing in this side of the planet.

He could hear some people talking outside of the door and he let the soft conversation lull him to sleep.

He woke up a few hours later, the headache greatly diminished and his ears slightly numb from being folded against his skull for so long. He stretched against his nest, burying his face against his soft beddings. He nuzzled it for a few minutes before eventually, slowly, sitting up to drink some water.

He winced at the movement, but the pain wasn't as debilitating as it was earlier.

Figuring that he'd been laying about long enough and knowing that he'd eventually had to face the guardians, Bunny made his way towards the door. He opened the door and crept out, ears twitching towards the low murmuring coming from his sitting room.

He nearly turned the corner but stopped just in time when he heard his name being mentioned.

"-Bunny said." Tooth said, "We're sorry you had to learn from him but-"

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Jack said in a blank tone. It made Bunny flinch. "If Bunny hadn'tt said anything would you have-"

There was a pause.

"It would have been safer, if we said nothing at the moment." North admitted.

Bunny peeked and saw a bitter expression on the frost sprite's face.

"Oh, so you were going to hide this from me the whole time?" Jack said, eyes flashing, "You were going to give me… give me-" He gestured at something unseen, "And you wouldn't have told me anything? Kept me in the dark? What were you thinking? Do you think I'd feel grateful? Honored?"

Sandy jumped in panic, shaking his head.

"We didn't want you to get hurt! And we didn't want you to- to give them back because-"

"That's not your choice to make!" Jack slammed the butt of his staff on the ground, icing it.

"You wouldn't have accepted them if you knew-!"

"You don't know that! You just can't assume-" Jack breathed in deeply and slumped back into his chair. "I can't- These are your centers. They're not just things to give away and-and then not tell me."

"Jack, we trust you would keep them safe." North said gravely. Jack glared at him.

"No, no… You don't trust me." Jack said, gritting his teeth.

Tooth looked appalled, "We do! We gave you-"

"If you did trust me, you would have told me." Jack said, "You didn't- giving me your- your centers but not telling me... That's not trust. You're just shoving something heavy into my hands without telling me what they are."

"You wouldn't have understood."

"Understood what? That I held the wonder, memories, and dreams of every child out there? That I have your lives literally in my hands, moreso than before?" The Winter guardian said, "Oh, I understand perfectly. It's you guys who don't."

Tooth hovered and placed an uncertain hand on Jack's shoulder. "Jack, please…"

Jack's shoulders slumped, "I just- I can't, okay?" He pleaded, blue eyes wide. "Maybe, maybe If you'd told me what you were doing or- or gave them to me one by one I would have-" His breath hitched, "I'm glad Bunny told me."

Sandy had a regretful look on his face.

"Even if they're just parts of you- I still, I'd need time. And I know you're angry at Bunny, for not letting you guys explain first but if he didn't say anything, you wouldn't have." Jack said and added sternly, "So don't be so hard on him."

The guardians were quiet, Tooth finally went back to her chair. They all looked chastised and Jack ran a tired hand down his face.

"Right now, instead of being angry with Bunny, we should find out what made him you know, what knocked him out like that." Jack said, not looking at the guardians.

Sandy made some hesitant sand illustrations.

"No, Bunny wouldn't have overheated. He controls weather in Warren." North said, hesitantly allowing the change of subject, "Must be something else, something big if it made our guardian of Hope collapse."

At the word 'hope', Jack flinched. Bunny stayed resolutely out of sight, carefully listening.

"Jack?"

Jack toed at the ice on his feet, "About hope…" He said quietly, but Bunnny could almost hear the gears in his mind turning rapidly as he replayed the last conversation they had. "Erm, does Bunny place his center in an object like you guys did…?"

The guardians looked at each other, wondering what Jack was getting at. Tooth seemed to get an idea, "Jack?" She asked, "Did Bunny tell you about Hope?"

Jack froze before forcibly trying to relax his stance, "Maybe?" He shrugged, not meeting their eyes, "I mean, I was wondering if he sneakily tried to give his center to me too, I wasn't able to asked because I left in a hurry-"

The words You lost it rang clearly in Jack's mind.

The guardians tried not to flinch at Jack's words.

"Bunny has…" North cleared his throat, "Well, Bunny could not possibly have given you hope-"

"Oh yeah, of course not." Jack said immediately, "I mean, cotton tail doesn't even clearly like me but I thought that maybe he'd suffer from temporary insanity or-"

"No, Jack, we didn't mean that." Tooth said gently, her expression said, "We meant to say, that Bunny could not have possibly given Hope because… well, Hope was lost."

Jack froze, eyes wide. "What?"

"We don't know when it was…" North said, "You know Bunny, he is secretive. In the end, it was Man in Moon who told us. He said, that a part of Hope has been taken from its home and that we must be extra vigilant and protect Bunny, because Bunny has lost one center. And he does not have one center, but two."

Jack's eyes widened.

"They are Hope and Life." North said gravely.

"There is something called First Light from Bunny's planet" Tooth explained Sandy's illustrations. "When Bunny came here, the First Light split into two centers: Hope and Life."

Sandy formed a question mark and a number one.

"No one knows what Hope's vessel was, Bunny guarded it with everything he had." Tooth said, "The second vessel is Bunny himself." The fairy looked on wistfully, "He is the last Pooka and therefore he carried Life himself."

"Bunny's Life equals All Life." North said seriously, "That is why, not even Pitch dare touch him."

Jack gave them all a wide-eyed look, "And- and Hope?"

"Worry not Jack." North said, "Hope may be lost but is still out there, hidden possibly. Hope is for the earth and we would have felt it if someone of darkness holds it."

"Do you know the specific day it was lost?"

"It happened before you became a guardian, maybe in the 1900s? Manny told us around 1990s." Tooth shook her head, 'We're still looking for it. Now that you're a part of us, you can help look for Hope too."

But Jack didn't answer, his eyes were still wide. Bunny could see him putting two and two together.

You lost it.

Bunny leaned back and closed his eyes against the pain in his head and a twinge in his heart. He didn't want to see what happened when Jack eventually figured out the last words Bunny spoke to him.

You lost it.

Bunny was sitting below one of the rock cliffs near a hidden pond, miles away from his burrow. He was looking through clovers near the pond for a four-leaf one. He'd snuck away from the guardians' private conversation and decided to do something productive, despite the fact that he'd been in mere pain only a handful of minutes ago. Still, he wasn't pushing himself and was just absentmindedly looking for four-leaf clovers, remembering that he was low on stock.

A cold breeze made Bunny's ears twitch, alerting him to a new companion.

"Bunny!" Jack's voice was breathless, "You're here- don't scare us like that!"

The Easter Bunny turned slowly and took in Jack's harried appearance. His blue eyes were dimmer and his expression seemed down.

"You don't look so good, cotton tail." Jack said, eyes looking at the dark bags under his eyes.

Bunny scoffed, "Have you seen a mirror lately, Frost?" He said, turning back to combing through the clovers.

Jack didn't say anything and hovered closer. Despite the cold, his proximity somehow made Bunny's tense shoulders relax, and he didn't complain when the winter guardian looked over his shoulder, his feet icing the ground.

"What're you doing that's so important that you got out of bed?" Jack asked and then shrugged, "Or nest or whatever."

Bunny huffed, "'M looking for four-leaf clovers." He raised an eyebrow at Jack's direction, "Not that it's any of your business."

Jack gave him an unimpressed glance, "It is if it might make you faint again, bun-buns." He said and then added softly, "We guardians gotta stick together, right?"

The uncertain tone made the Bunny look at Jack. Seeing he uncertainty in the normally carefree gait, he sighed and admitted, "Yeah, we do. Being mates and all."

Jack seemed surprised, eyes lighting up, "Mates? That's Aussie for-"

"Friends." Bunny grumbled, he shot a quick glare at Jack, "Don't push it, Frost."

Jack's expression was lighter than before, his lips were pursed trying to contain his grin. "Yeah," He said breathlessly, "Yeah, we're friends, Bunny." Best friends, Jack wanted to say, but he didn't want to push, like Bunny said.

Bunny's expression twitched, like maybe he wanted to smile but he settled for clearing his throat instead. He got back to what he was doing, Jack looking at the Easter rabbit hopefully. It made Bunny's chest warm, a familiar feeling he couldn't pinpoint.

He could feel the moment when the quiet between them made Jack's thoughts turn sad.

"Bunny…"

"Hm?" Bunny asked, moving to the next patch of clovers. His shoulders were braced for Jack's question.

"Last time, when we talked, you said-"

"It doesn't matter." Bunny said almost immediately. He had made a decision when he saw Jack's face while North told him about Hope. He didn't want to blame Jack on that anymore. "I wasn't in mah right mind, prolly overheating, didn't remember half of what I was yapping-"

"No, please don't lie to me." Jack cut him off. Bunny closed his mouth. "Hope- you lost it during the Blizzard of '68 didn't you?"

Bunny's ears dropped at the reminder but he held his chin up, "It wasn't your fault."

Jack's head snapped up, eyes wide, "But you said-"

"I say a lot of things I don't mean, mate." Bunny said gruffly. He looked at Jack with narrowed green eyes, "It was mah fault, all right?"

"But-"

"I was careless, I left it lying around and didn't notice the kids pick it up before it's too late. I lost track of it, it wasn't on you. Never was." Bunny said, trying to sound flippant, "It's fine, we'll find it eventually. Anyway, Hope is out there somewhere, like it's supposed to be and it'll come back ta me at the right time."

Jack seemed uncertain but there was relief on his face too. He was relieved that Bunny didn't seem to hate him and hopeful, that maybe he and the Easter Kangaroo could get along better in the future.

The warmth Bunny felt intensified, his entire gait relaxing and the traces of pain from the migraine, fading already.

"Thanks Bunny," Jack said, uncharacteristically shy, "And I- I'm sorry too."

Bunny straightened and turned to Jack, grabbing the other's hand. Jack's eyebrows raised in surprise as Bunny placed a four-leaf clover on his palm. He looked up at Bunny who shrugged, "Nothing to be sorry for."

Jack grinned and the two of them stayed in companionable silence for a few minutes before-

"BUNNY! THERE YOU ARE!"

"(1)Glupyy krolik! You made us worry!"

Sandy flew up to Bunny's face and wagged a finger at him, complete with a disapproving frown on his face.

"Who you calling stupid, North ya gumby…" Bunny muttered at the Cossack, trying to ignore Sandy's disapproval.

"Jack, why didn't you tell us you found him?" Tooth asked exasperatedly. Jack shurgged and whistled innocently.

Bunny shook his head as the guardians continued to berate him for moving when he just recovered from whatever it was he just recovered from.

Still, the Easter Bunny couldn't help the smile on his face, the familiar warmth in his chest growing as everyone around him bantered good-naturedly. The warm feeling in him swelled as he heard Jack laugh and the guardians look on at them fondly.

Somehow, for the first time since he lost Hope…

Everything felt right again.

Author's note: I was having a minor migraine while typing the migraine scene, what better way to express my pain right? XD This story is in honor of my birthday tomorrow, hurrah! Cheers and all that! Trying to be better at life in general is hard and trying to be a functioning adult something is even harder.

To those who are curious about the years of hiatus, please go to my story "Ice Cubes" chapter 30 end author's notes. Don't wanna depress anyone here after reading this chapter, so yeah. Anyway, happy reading, tell me what you think?

Russian trnaslation via google translate: (1)Stupid rabbit!