Signs of the Apocalypse

As the door opened Kurt straightened his back further, sitting almost impossibly straight, and took a deep breath. Projecting his Ice Queen persona took work, even under the best of circumstances – which these definitely weren't – and this just might be the most important performance of his life so far.

He waited for the other boy to sit down and start their conversation. After all, going first meant looking eager – and that was something Kurt couldn't afford.

"So, Hummel. You gotta be the last person I ever expected to see here. The apocalypse comin', or what?"

"Nothing like that, I assure you Puckerman." Or maybe exactly something like that, but no way was Kurt going to admit that. "I just thought I'd see how life's treating you here.

I have to say though, it doesn't seem that great. I'm guessing by now you'd like to get out of here, ASAP? And I just might know how to fix that."

He drew for breath, hoping he hadn't overplayed his hand, or totally misread the situation. Now, to present the bait and hope that Puck would just take it... He launched into his sales pitch, knowing how much was riding on Puck, but trying his hardest not to show it.

McKinley's new anti-bullying organization would go forward, with or without Puck, simply because it was Kurt's only chance of not only being safe but also remaining at McKinley with his friends. However, Kurt was well aware of the fact that with would be the better option. Puck had valuable experience and insight, thanks to his past as a bully himself. Also, well, his reputation could come in very handy.

Kurt wanted Puck to sign up mainly to function as muscle. Knowing the other boy as he did though, asking for help had quickly been deemed out of the question. His one chance was selling it as something to help Puck, not Kurt – as a favor Kurt was doing, not getting.

Now all that remained was to see if it had worked or not.

The answer seemes to be "not".

"Nice try, Hummel. Here's the deal. I rule this place. Why'd I wanna go back to McKinley so you can use me while I'm being forced to listen to Berry nag? Yeah, picked up on that – I'm not as stupid as you think."

"But–"

"No. You talk all big, but there's nothing for me in that scheme. I have it good here. The only bad thing about this place? No sex. Now... If you can provide me with some of that... Then we can talk."

Kurt sputtered. Puck wanted him to...what?

"You know," Puck mused, "you could probably pitch it to Berry if nothing else. 'm pretty sure that the thought of being disqualified for Sectionals 'cause of not having twelve members'll do the trick for her."

Kurt was pretty sure of that too, and if she hadn't been with his soon-to-be-brother... No! What was he thinking? He wasn't going to whore his friends out, especially not to Puck.

Yes, getting Puck to participate meant a lot to him. Yes, he was willing to give a lot to ensure it. But that was him, not one of his girls. Maybe Santana would... And then he mentally slapped himself. He couldn't condone that kind of behavior, not even with someone he didn't really like.

But... And Kurt's stomach clenched as the idea hit him. Yeah. That apocalypse? He was pretty damn sure that this was qualified as a sign.

He steeled himself. It was just words. There was no way Puck would take him up on what he was about to suggest. No way.

Right?

"I'm not a pimp, Puckerman. I have way too much respect for others to set up some poor girl for you to fuck," he spat out the crude word, "even if I could.

However," and Kurt couldn't believe he was about to do this, "if the only way you'll agree to participate is in exchange for sexual favors, well. There could be oral."

He steeled himself again. After all, this was Puck. Surely there was no way he'd take Kurt up on his thinly veiled offer. No. The badass accepting sexual favors from the resident fairy? Just, no.

His eyes met Puck's and suddenly a tendril of fear ran down his back. There was...something in those hazel eyes, something new that he couldn't read.

Kurt swallowed audibly when the realization hit him. Chances were that "something" was another sign of the apocalypse.

~The End ~