yay more rules because I was bored and i have the world's worst writers block

"Still working on those rules?"

Loki plopped down beside me, two coffees in his hands. He handed me one and I took a drink.

"Unfortunately. Fury won't stop bugging me about it."

Loki scanned the rules and frowned. "I did like that movie though. I just won't admit it to anyone."

"Which one? Tangled?"

"That one too. But Frozen. I really knew where Elsa was coming from."

Loki nonchalantly took a sip of his beverage and I stared at him.

"Who are you and what have you done with Loki?"

Rule No. 21

Avengers GPS Systems are no longer allowed.

Tony: God you drive slow. Haven't you ever watched Fast and Furious or had the need for speed? Let's just hit the bar so I can drink myself into oblivion and not have to put up with your shit. Goddammit you passed the bar. Turn left. I said left. LEFT!

Bruce: While polyatomic molecules are fascinating, it's not only the fact that the billions of possible compounds they make through exothermic and endothermic reactions but when you add gamma into the mix that–oh we missed our stop. Uh, U-Turn.

Clint: My voice is calm but my eyes read help.

Natasha: What the hell am I doing with my life? *begins to rapidly swear in Russian*

Thor: *after recounting one of his many victories* Oh, we were supposed to turn?

Steve: Ah, good old Brooklyn. I got beat up in that alley. And by that dumpster. And behind that diner. Also in that alley. And...in that one.

Ashlyn: If you could merge onto the expressway...carefully. With caution. Don't kill us. Please. Seriously, wow you are really not a great driver.

Pepper: I put up with Tony Stark so I think I can put up with you.

Jane: Can you just...uhm...yeah, turn right. I think.

Loki: I am going to slaughter you.

Fury: You better get your shit together before I reach through this screen and wring your neck. About a half a mile up, we're gonna turn right. Right, not left you fuck truck!

Rule No. 22

In Addition to Rule #21, The Avengers are also not allowed to be tour guides.

It was for an undercover mission. Clint wasn't too happy to be away just before Natasha's due date.

Clint: "On your left, you will see Spain. On your right, you will see Spain."

Tourist: "What about behind us?"

Clint: "Behind you, you will see Spain. Before you, you will see me, irritated with your stupid questions. And also Spain."

Rule No. 23

New Disney/Pixar movies are banned.

This is the dumbest rule in this book and I do not advise following it.

THEY WILL NEVER BE BANNED!

It's not my fault that after we watched UP Thor wanted to find Kevin and Tony tried to make the special dog collars that let them be able to talk. Steve and Clint wanted to make our house fly. Natasha and Bruce were all for it until Jane pointed out it was physically impossible.

We were all very saddened by the harsh news of reality.

"Come on, Jane, haven't you ever had a dream!" I had yelled.

Tony dramatically faced us and said, "I had a dream once."

Needless to say, they broke into song. Bruce was looking for a love connection, Thor got stuck collecting ceramic unicorns, Clint was Eugene, Natasha was Rapunzel, and Tony can actually play the piano really well!

After I made Loki sit down and watch Frozen with me, it was decided that he was Elsa and I was Anna. He made such a cute Elsa. We even went ice skating.

Rule No. 24

While we're on the topic of movies, Frozen is banned.

I wanted to start a riot at this, but I kinda agreed with it. Secretly. The quotes were getting out of hand.

Exhibit A–

"Thor, go back to sleep it's five o'clock in the morning."

"I can't! The sky's awake, so I'm awake!"

(Clint to Thor)

"You are lucky it wasn't the heart. The heart can be tough to change. But the mind can be tough to persuade."

(Bruce on why Tony is so stubborn)

"I have twelve brothers, and three of them literally pretended I was invisible for two years!"

(Loki, I think you were exaggerating)

"Hi! I'm Clint and I like warm hugs!"

(I still think someone drugged his coffee)

"Who's the funky burro?"

"Dasher."

"And who's the reindeer?"

(Very funny, Natasha)

"The hot and the cold are both so intense! Put 'em together – it just makes sense!"

(Pepper on Loki)

"That's your plan? My ice business depends on you talking to your sister?!"

(Tony's battle plan really wasn't that good)

"It's not nice to throw people!"

(Jane was very angry when Thor "accidentally" shoved Tony)

Exhibit B–

"So cute! It's like a baby unicorn!"

(Why, Bruce, why)

"Oh, look at that–I've been impaled."

(They freaked out a lot more than I thought they would have...)

"Knock. Why isn't he knocking? You think he knows how?"

(Bruce was really nervous about asking Kaitlin out)

"Some people are worth melting for."

(Very sweet, Tony, but I still can't tell if you meant it as some sort of innuendo)

"I don't have a skull. Or bones."

(Oh, Steve, sometimes you worry me)

"That's no blizzard, that's my brother!"

(The citizens of New York were getting concerned about the sudden frost so Thor had to reassure them, which only un-reassured them)

"Watch out for my butt!"

(The Science Bromance is now a little gay)

"There's your act of true love–riding across the fjords like a valiant, pungent, reindeer king. Oh, wait, well I guess he didn't love you enough to leave your forever after all!"

(Steve left on a mission, Jane and Pepper were on the Helicarrier for business, and Loki and I were the only ones in the tower. Steve left and then came back because he forgot his shield, which I still don't know how by the way because it's always practically glued to his arm, and surprisingly that was Loki's commentary.)

My response: "You have no room to talk, reindeer games."

Rule No. 25

Don't ask Loki to show you magic.

Just don't. And don't joke about it either. Loki's quite proud of it.

Loki thought it would be funny to turn my room completely upside down. Literally. All my furniture was on the ceiling. So I acted like it was completely normal.

"So, super solider, do you notice anything new about your chambers?"

I glanced around. "You know, now that you mention it, something seems a little bit off. I just can't put my finger on it..."

I then pretended to think about it for several good minutes. Loki got so mad he blurted out that I was stupid and pointed to the ceiling.

"Sorcery! I knew there was something dubious going on here!"

(Frozen quote in reference to Rule #24)

Loki wasn't amused.

Rule No. 26

Don't mess with stuff that isn't yours. (Via Natasha)

Don't touch the suit.

Don't touch the shield.

Don't move Bruce's stuff so he can't find it.

Don't touch Clint's bow.

Don't touch Mjiolnir. Not like you really can anyway. But don't use it as a can opener.

Don't touch Ashlyn's papers.

Don'ttouch Loki.

Wrapping said objects in bubble wrap or Saran wrap isn't funny.

Okay maybe it's little funny.

Rule No. 27

I know something you don't know. (Via Clint)

It drives us all insane and one of us will probably end up snapping your neck.

Rule No. 28

Sherlock from BBC is banned.

As Fury is making me write this, figurative tears of agony are pouring down my face.

What can I say, that show has taught us all a lot. Thank God I have a photographic memory because with all the tips I pick up from Sherlock, I've been putting them to good use.

Define good use, Ashie.

Okay, Tony, just because I like the show that isn't the movie with the actor that looks like you, doesn't mean you have to diss it. You know you like it. The other day you busted that recruit by looking at the creases on his shirt.

I've even made my own mind palace!

One time the main director of S.H.I.E.L.D was getting on my nerves because he kept trying to call me in while I was on maternity leave and when I met with him, well, this is how the conversation went.

Director: We need you to–

Me: No.

Director: What? You don't even know what I was going to ask you!

Me: You recently got Botox and that is a new suit you bought in New York because you want to look nice for your mistress, the exotic woman you were having an affair with while you were in Jamaica but you weren't sunbathing, you were on business so you have a tan that stops at the wrist and neck, you don't like your current marriage and want to file for a divorce but your wife is clingy and she has a ginger cat that you hate, Mr. Mittens. Now what makes you think that I didn't know you were going to ask me to not only get off of maternity leave but give you information on Loki Laufeyson? Rude.

Maybe it's not good use.

Rule No. 29

Simon says is banned.

We were bored. Friendships were ruined.

Rule No. 30

Fanfiction and Fanart is now against the rules.

We have a lot of very talented and dedicated fans. But the Stony section was making everyone really uncomfortable.

~Illumini