Chapter 1: The Next Session

I sat on my computer reading Homestuck while waiting for my copy of the latest game from my favorite franchise to come. I had been waiting 2 years for this game and it was coming today. I heard the mail truck outside, and I ran out to see a package with my name on it. I got the rest of the mail and tossed it on my mom's chair as I ran up to my room to open my package. I grabbed a knife I got from scouts and cut the tape off the box. I opened the box and looked inside to find… a different game. I looked at the game wondering if this was some kind of prank, considering the game I got said SBURB on the front. Just then, I got a message on Pesterchum.

-cuttlefishCuller started trolling koopaKing-

CC: )(I! GLUB GLUB 38D

KK: Um…hello…

CC: DO YOU )(AV-E T)(-E GAM-E Y-ET?

KK: You're one of those random RPers aren't you?

CC: NO, YOUR-E T)(INKING OF N-EP-ETA.

KK: Well, who are you? And how did you get my chumhandle?

CC: I'm F-EF-ERI. I )(ad my FRI-END SOLLUX find you. 38)

KK: Uh huh suuuuuuuure… and you got the horns and gills and the purple-ish pink blood… and I'm a freaking clown who loves faygo.

CC: )(ow do you know so MUC)( about me and one of my fronds?
KK: You must be one of those really obnoxious RPers who really gets into character…

CC: Again, t)(at's N-EP-ETA.

KK: You know what, I don't care anymore. What do you want?

CC: I just wanted to sea if you )(ad the game.

KK: I got a game alright. But it's not the one I wanted. I wanted a game called Ace Attorney 5, but instead, I got SBURB…

CC: YOU )(AV-E IT! YOU R-E-ELY )(AV-E TH-E GAM-E! T)(IS IS SO –EXCITING! 38D

KK: ….You switched my package didn't you…

CC: I'll glub at you in the game. 38D

-cuttlefishCuller ceased trolling koopaKing-

What was that about? How did this person know about my game? And for that matter, why did she care? Things only got weirder from there. I put the game back in the box. Soon after, I got a message from yet another person who I thought was an obnoxious troll role player. And boy did he sound mad…

-carcinoGeneticist began trolling koopaKing-

CG: DO YOU HAVE THE GAME YET?

KK: Oh crap not another one…

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

KK: Not another obnoxious RPer…

CG: DUDE, YOU DON'T GET IT. YOU'RE THINKING OF SOMEONE ELSE.

CG: NOW ANSWER MY QUESTION, FART KNOCKER. DO YOU HAVE THE GAME OR NOT?

KK: I don't think I should tell you.

CG: WHY NOT?!

KK: Until you can talk to me nicely, I ain't saying squat.

CG: OK, BUT DO YOU HAVE THE GAME?
KK: What part of I'M NOT TELLING was unclear?!

CG: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T SAY SQUAT. THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS CONVERSATION, YOU STUPID HUMAN.

KK: You know what, I'm not dealing with this. Until you can be nicer, don't talk to me again.

-koopaKing ceased being trolled by carcinoGeneticist-

I could just feel that he was miffed. He kept trying to message me over and over, but I eventually blocked him. I decided to just install the game in my computer. Figured I might as well not waste a game like this. That's when yet another obnoxious person got to me…

-arsenicCatnip began trolling koopaKing-

AC: :33 hi there!

KK: Good Lord why won't you people leave me alone?

AC: :33 did my furends get you mad?

KK: Actually…wait you know cuttlefishCuller and carcinoGenetist?

AC: :33 Of course I know them. You're talking about Fefurry and Karkitty.

KK: …You're Nepeta aren't you…

AC: :33 Yes I am! How did you know?

KK: Oh my god, WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP PESTERING ME ABOUT THAT FREAKING SBURB GAME?!

AC: :(( I see my furends made you mad… I'm sorry about that, but you don't need to hiss at me

KK: Alright, I'm sorry. You dang "Trolls" have been pestering me all day. What do you guys want with me?

AC: :33 We need you to help us. Purretty purrlease?

KK: With what and Why?

AC: :33 You'd have to talk to Karkitty or Fefurry about that. I've gotta go. I'll talk to you in the game!

-arsenicCatnip ceased trolling koopaKing-

Well, that escalated quickly… I decided to contact one of them later, but right now I need something to calm my mind down. I went to the kitchen and made myself some lunch while thinking about what happened with Nepeta. What is it that they need my help with? And why did they come to me? After lunch, I decided to take a nap because I was pretty tired and I didn't want to deal with anything having to do with those trolls.

I went to sleep and immediately thought I was on acid. I woke up on a purple planet made almost entirely of towers. My Tower was the highest of the rest of them. I learned pretty quickly that on this planet, I had the ability to fly. I flew over to the second highest tower and found a girl still sleeping in her bed. It looked like this was her room. 'She must really like cosplaying,' I thought. She had dark black hair, grey skin, fins where her ears should be, and two weirdly pointed horns that looked like parentheses on her head. She also looked to be wearing a tiara. Just then, I saw some else in her room. I hid below the window so I wouldn't be seen, but I was still able to look in the window. This man looked like a real klutz, but he had a symbol that looked like he was of high authority. His shirt simply bore the club suite symbol over his heart. He was a short, round, black man. And when I say black, I don't mean African American. His skin was pitch black along with his fedora and his clothes. He looked at the girl and took out a knife. I was hoping it was going where I thought it was. Unfortunately for me, it was. He walked up to the girl and raised his knife. Before he could lower it, I rushed in and grabbed his arm. He looked at me with surprise and question in his eyes. I threw the knife out of his hand and flipped him on to the ground. I got off of him and got in a fighting stance. He got up a little dazed and I kicked him out the window and watched him fall to his demise. I looked back at the girl, who to my surprise was still sleeping. I wrote a quick note telling what happened and put it on her bed. I then flew back to my tower and got back in my bed. I woke up and found I was being pestered again.

-cuttlefishCuller began trolling koopaKing-

CC: Ar-E you awak-E y-Et?

KK: I am now… Just had a freaky acid trip of a dream.

CC: O)(, w) (app-En-Ed? Did you wak-E up on Prospit or D-Ers-E?

KK: I found myself on a purple planet made of towers.

CC: T)(at m-Eans you wok-E up on D-Ers-E! T)(at's th-E sam-E plan-Et I'm on.

KK: Wait… You wouldn't happen to have the horns that look like parentheses on your head would you?

CC: T)(at's M-E! 38D

KK: Oh good lord… I just stopped some weirdo from killing you on that planet!

CC: O)( NO AR-E YOU SAYING MY DR-EAM S-ELF ALMOST DI-ED?!

KK: I kicked the guy out a window, and you were sleeping like a baby.

CC: W-Ell, thanks for saving me.

KK: Now for the reason I need to talk to you. What is the problem that you needed to come to me?

TO BE CONTINUED…