AN: So this is because I was really bored and wanted to write something funny. Also note that I refuse to use swear words in this so I know that Hidan won't seem like well… Hidan, but I'm sorry.

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Sakura was on her way to her boyfriend's house to spend the afternoon with her boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha. He lived in not a house but one huge mansion, which she gets lost in quite often and occasionally having Sasuke have to come find her. He has loving parents, his mom spoils her to no end, and then there is his brother… don't get her wrong he was really a great guy, it was more his friends that creep her out. When she and Sasuke first started dating she never really went to his house, but when they started to get serious his mother started to force him to invite her over. That was when she met Itachi and his group of friends, let's just say that when they first saw her they immediately fell in love with her.

She just arrived outside his house and rang the door bell. Mikoto, his mother, opened the door and immediately let her in and started ranting on about random topics.

"Sakura dear, if I had known you were coming I would have cancelled my appointment!" said Mikoto, upset.

"Oh no, I thought Sasuke would have told you." Sakura said

"He was in such a rush this morning. Speaking of Sasuke, he hasn't come home yet from practice, but I'm sure that he will be here soon. Oh Sakura I wish I could stay but I need to go, please make yourself at home!" she said happily walking out the house.

Sakura sighed, and then smiled, Mikoto thought of Sakura as a daughter. Sakura walked into the kitchen to make herself some tea. She was busy stirring, when she heard the door open. Thinking it was Sasuke, but then hearing more then one voice, she froze.

"Oh no!" she whispered out loud.

Not them! Not when she was at the house alone!

"Mother, I'm home." She could hear Itachi called out. "Mother?" he said walking closer to the kitchen.

"Crap!" she hissed out and looked for a place to hide.

While in her flurry of trying to hide she didn't see the chair that was in the middle of her way and fell over it making a loud noise. She was now lying on the floor a bit dazed, when she heard the door open.

"Sakura?" she heard Itachi ask.

Sakura tensed and turned her head to see Itachi and his whole gang, also known as 'the Akastuki'. She gave them an awkward smile. It was completely silent, she was still on the floor and they were all standing on the other side of the kitchen.

"Sakura! Tobi loves Sakura! Cause Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi, with his usual orange mask on, jumped up and pulled her up from the floor and into hug that she couldn't breathe in.

Sakura was about to complain about the lack of air, when Tobi was suddenly ripped from her.

"What do you think you are doing to my wife?" said Madara Uchiha, while shaking poor Tobi.

"She's not your freaking wife!" shouted Hidan who came up next to her, slinging is arm around her.

Sakura was about to tell Hidan to remove his arm, but he was then ripped away from her.

"Don't touch my Sakura yeah!" shouted Deidara who was tackling Hidan.

"So pinky did you miss me?" asked Kisame, in a husky voice towering over her.

"Kisame, your annoying me." Said Kakazu, glaring at Kisame.

Sakura was the least worried about these two, they never tried anything with her except for flirting.

Sakura started to back up, but she collided with a chest.

"Sakura you smell amazing, I wonder if you taste better." Said Zetsu from behind, hearing both of his split personalities talk to her she jumped away from him.

She then fell backwards over the same chair, but was lifted up, when she looked she saw Sasori staring her. His hands on her waist.

"You should be more careful Sakura." He said while his hands started to slide lower.

Sakura started blushing so hard, but he was then yanked back by Pein and Itachi who started death glaring him.

She watched the scene in front of her, Hidan and Deidara were on the floor tackling each other, Madara was shaking poor Tobi while saying stuff like how she was his wife, then Kisame and Kakazu were arguing about money and being annoying with Zetsu somehow joining them, Pein and Itachi glaring Sasori in the corner. She used this chance to escape, and ran out the kitchen and up the stairs in one of the random hallways, till she needed to breathe.

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"Uh guys?... guys? GUYS!" shouted Kisame.

Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"Where did Sakura go?" he asked.

Everyone immediately looked at Zetsu, who looked them, then raised his arms up. "I didn't eat her." He said.

Everyone spilt up and went looking for her.

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Sakura was in some random closet, panting, hoping they wouldn't find her. She heard multiple footsteps run past the door she was behind, she waited five minutes before going out again only to be pushed back in.

"Sakura please let me taste you." Said Zetsu licking the crook of her neck.

She tried to push him off but wasn't succeeding. He kept licking and even started nibbling on her, when he was yanked away and she was picked and carried away. When she was put down she saw Kakazu counting his money and Kisame just sat down, in another closet and she sat down with her back to the door.

"So Pinky you glad I saved you before you got eaten?" said Kisame with a playful grin.

"Yes! Why did you guys have to come here now when Sasuke wasn't around?" she groaned while sitting down.

Kisame smiled at her. "Cause your just to damn fun! And that boyfriend of yours scares the living daylights out of all of us!" he said laughing.

"Yeah well-" she started to say.

She wasn't able to finish her sentence for the door opened and she was picked up and carried away, again. Kisame was a bit surprised by the sudden interruption.

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Sakura didn't know who had her this time, but they entered a room and he put her down gently.

"Tobi is a good boy Sakura!" he said to her.

"Yes Tobi is a very good boy!" she said with a smile.

While this was the fourth person only another five or so to go, yay! She sighed, these boys were too much for her sometimes.

"Tobi promises he will try and protect Sakura, cause Tobi loves Sakura!" he said in his usual cheery voice.

Sakura didn't have time to reply, because the next thing she saw was Tobi falling to ground and then having arms wrapped around her waist.

"Oh my dear, how I have missed you!" said Madara holding her tightly.

"Uh Madara, could you please let me go?" she asked nicely, but she was starting to get irritated.

"No why would I want to let go of my wife?" he asked whispering in her ear.

Sakura gave a shudder, but was then yanked from Madara and pulled into a hard chest.

"You Idiot she isn't your freaking wife!" said Hidan and then ran out the room.

Sakura could hear Madara running after them, because of his screams about returning his wife to him, but Hidan didn't stop. He went into another closet, but this one was extremely small.

"Now Pinky, how about you and I get a bit Kinky." He said in her ear, in a husky voice.

Sakura glared at him, Hidan was her least favourite of the group. She was about to snap back at him, but he licked and the nibbled slightly on her ear, moving to the crook of her neck. Then he started to slide his tongue up her neck and on her jaw line. And when it came to close to her move Sakura, lost her temper and punched him the gut then ran out the room.

She had no idea where she was, or where she going, but somehow landed in the game room.

Finally a room she actually knows, she actually knows her way from her to the door. She sat in the room for a while catching her breath, when she felt to hot breaths on both her ears. She spun around and found Deidara and Sasori. These two always ganged up on her, she started to back up but when she hit a wall they just smiled at her and started to approach her. She was going to make a dash for the door but they pinned her to the wall.

"Now what's the rush yeah?" asked Deidara.

"We aren't going to hurt you." Said Sasori.

Sakura glared the two, "I'm getting really tired of all of you guys!" she said through gritted teeth.

The two boys chuckled and then put both their mouths on either side of her neck, they switched between licking and biting and what amazed and irritated her was that they were in perfect sync!

Sakura tried to wiggle her way out but they had her completely stuck, she couldn't even move her arms and legs! That didn't mean she didn't try struggling! Sakura closed her eyes tight when they both bit hard on her neck, damn these were going to leave marks!

Suddenly the two boys were flung from her and to the other side of the room, she looked up and saw Itachi and Pein, and she sighed in relief. They walk out the room and then into another room. Sakura sat on the crouch in between to two boys, they never tried anything on her before, and were the ones that never acted like hormonal boys.

"You guys have no idea how relieved I am!" she said relaxing a bit.

Itachi and Pein looked at each then back to Sakura.

"Why is that Sakura?" asked Itachi moving closer to her.

"Because you are the only two who act normal!" she said.

"What makes you think we are normal?" asked Pein also moving closer.

Sakura looked at them in confusion, then realising how close they were to her. They both kissed her on the cheek, nibbled on her ears and that was when she had enough. She jumped up and ran out the room making her way to the door.

She could her many footsteps behind her and glanced back to find ALL they guys running behind her! Screaming stuff like: ' Come back my wife!' or ' Tobi is sorry he could protect Sakura!' and ' I want to taste you again!'.

"GRAP!" she shouted and ran even faster.

She got to the stairs and saw the front door, practically jumping the stairs and dashing for the door. Just a few metres away and the door opened to reveal Sasuke walking in.

"Sasuke!" she shouted jumping into his unexpecting arms.

"Sa-sakura? What the hel-" he said catching himself, he looked down at her, he saw red marks on her neck and her face was all flustered, that could only mean…

Then all the Akastuki guys came in, but when they saw Sasuke they all froze. Sasuke had this evil aura around him, which even got them terrified.

"You guys dare to harass Sakura?" he asked through gritted teeth, glaring at them all. They all shook with fear. "I guess I'm going to have to teach you all a lesson and the lesson is ..." he said letting Sakura go and walking towards them. "to NEVER TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND!" and started to chase them all till he caught them.

AN: I know it is long but I was bored!