I never thought this day would come, but here it is, the startling conclusion

We open on KURT'S BEDROOM.

KURT and BLAINE are cuddled together snug on KURT'S bed. They are redfaced and panting. They have just engaged in the roughest and most athletic sex of their young lives. Their loins ache from over-sensitivity and pleasure. BLAINE'S head is gently tucked onto KURT'S shoulder, he looks up at him, long dark lashes fluttering sleepily "I'm so glad that we could share that together, it was the epitome of intimacy, and I feel that it brought us closer than ever before." KURT smiles beatifically down at him "I agree, lover, as close friends and sexual partners, we have a truly enviable relationship, that others will surely emulate"

BLAINE nuzzles his neck and grins "I wholeheartedly agree. Kurt, what do you think is the most beautiful aspect of our relationship?"

KURT thinks for a moment "Well Blaine," he began "I'd like to think it is the fact that, as a sexually active couple, we are both varied and respectful of our own roles and positions, and that our communication and trust is strong enough that we are not tied into stereotypes. Also the fact that because our love is strong, even if we act in a way that could be construed as being stereotypical, it is actually just our own preferences, and that we can accept these desires and preferences as being a beacon of our devotion and enjoyment of the acts we share together. Does that answer your question, darling?"

the studio audience's applause is long and rowdy.

BLAINE smiled "Well I was going to say your 9-inch dick, but I much prefer your answer. I am glad that we share a level of intimacy and friendship where we can be honest with each other. It is truly a wonder that a teenaged couple such as ourselves is able to approach a sexual relationship with such maturity, and I feel proud of us for the strides we can make for our community, to be able to show that we can have a stable and loving relationship that is not perverse or anything other than genuine. I'm so constantly blown away that our closeness and intimacy allows us to make position and role irrelevant" they stare into each others' eyes, and share butterfly kisses.

Enter BURT, he is scruffy and greasy and altogether a bit of a mess, but he glows with fatherly pride. He sits on the bed and places his hands upon his knees. His smile is warm and comforting. The studio audience's applause is brief, but polite and welcoming. "I want you boys to know, that every time you engage in sexual activities, I am proud of you. I am proud because I know that you both were raised right, and that when it comes down to it, your relationship has foundations of integrity, fidelity, and understanding. As a father, you would expecgt me to be displeased that my son has an active sex life, but I am proud because I know that yours bears the strengthening virtues of safety and consent, and that you respect each other. I am so happy for you both" his eyes water and the studio audience makes noises of empathy and touching emotion. He leaves and a smattering of applause follows him.

The director looks out into the studio audience and everyone follows her gaze. She glances at the asshat wearing the bottomblaine sucks graphic t-shirt. This is why your opinion is bad, she hisses, and KURT and BLAINE nod, and the audience applauds. And the troll's heart grew three sizes that day. And That's the true meaning of christmas. Can I get a hallelu?

I present this unapologetic self-insert for the sake of both tearing down internalized fandom homophobia, and as a thanks for the people that took the time to follow this fic. You are appreciated.