This is definitely something extremely different from what I'm used to writing, and I hope it doesn't sound really stupid. It's a journal entry from Aria's perspective after her first time with Ezra. If you want me to continue and write entries for other important events in their relationship, let me know! (I purposely underlined instead of using italics, because, well, it's a diary.) Also, it's really short because I'm not going to write a 5,000-word journal entry.

03/16/11 6:30 a.m.

I'm really glad I happened to have my journal in my purse last night, because I'm not sure I can wait to write about this and I'm definitely not ready to tell the girls. I apologize for the messy handwriting. I'm afraid to wake Ezra up.

It's 6:30 a.m. and I'm lying in Ezra's bed completely naked except for the sheet wrapped around my body. Well, it's wrapped around Ezra's body too. I think I could stare at him sleeping on the pillow next to mine forever. That sounds really lame and cheesy, doesn't it? Maybe that's what sex does to a girl—turn her into a pool of emotions straight out of a disgustingly romantic chick flick. I've never been this exposed to him before, and it feels...really good. It almost feels necessary for our relationship to grow. Not that our relationship is based on sex, because it isn't. But if we're going to be naked with each other in other ways, I feel that we should be naked in the most intimate of ways. Right?

I was wrong about being inexperienced or "not good enough" for him, or at least that's what he told me. He quickly saw the doubt in my eyes as he undressed me on top of his bed. Sometimes I wish he couldn't read me so well, so I could hide my insecurities. He told me I was beautiful, and when we were done, he told me that I was perfect. I have a difficult time believing that an inexperienced 17-year-old would be good enough for him, but for some reason, he made me believe it.

Our first time was sad and bittersweet and I'm not sure what's going to happen once he wakes up. It was as if we were saying goodbye while...our bodies said hello? I cringed as I wrote that line, but really, what else would you call it? Anyway, I really hate saying goodbye to him. Why does my Dad have to be such a dick? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who doesn't believe in us, because I'll always believe in us. And it doesn't matter who thinks our relationship is wrong, because it has always felt right. Especially last night. There's no one else I want to share my body with.

No one.

Ezra just wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, so I think it's a good time to wrap this up (and I'm too squished to move my arm now, anyway). But one more thing! He was really, really, really good. Oh, the wonders of seeing an older man. I just hope the neighbors didn't hear us...especially the Chemistry teacher who lives on the second floor.

9:30 a.m.

Ezra just brought up the time we almost had sex on his couch at Hollis. Yeah, I'm glad that didn't happen. There's only so much scandal our relationship can handle. By the way, we're still in bed. And...we may have just spent the last couple hours "saying goodbye" again. I'll never look at this bed the same way. It is now officially a sacred ground, because I said so.