Okay, here's the chapter I've dreaded writing for...years. Might as well just rip the Band-Aid off.

Coming this close to Chicago without stopping surprised Emily. After handing off the driving duties to Paige at the Iowa border, it seemed pretty natural to expect a jog up to Chicago, if no other reason than excusing Paige to recite verbatim dialogue from "The Blues Brothers" movie as they progressed through a thousand city toll booths. However, she didn't move that direction on the road - didn't even ask Emily if she wanted to stop. After all, it WAS on Nick's agenda and one didn't break away from Nick's agenda on a whim. Something must be up.

Emily was right. Paige's hackles, blood pressure and any other thing that can be up was up. She was tired of pussyfooting around the pair's issues and what drove them apart. Paige was falling all over again and she was sick of having this "thing" between them, especially since it was kind of a one-sided thing that Emily probably felt but had no clue about.

So she drove and got in a zone that comes from driving several hours without much distraction. Before she knew it, they reached South Bend, Indiana - home of the University of Notre Dame. For all of Emily's love for the movie "Rudy" she was pretty sure she hadn't visited the town or school. "What the hell," Paige muttered and yanked the wheel toward the off ramp.

It didn't take long to find the campus. South Bend is an average college town, it wasn't huge and the entire town revolved around Saturdays and the Irish football games. The population doubled sometimes for games so summer was just a precursor to another season of trying to regain the school's standing as THE legendary football program.

Paige wheeled around town a bit, throwing the GPS into a tizzy. She hadn't entered the detour into the device so a constant "Recalculating" message was starting to get on Emily's nerves. She wondered why they stopped here - not that she was complaining. She'd never been to South Bend and despite watching "Rudy" a bazillion times she still was a little bit awed at her surroundings.

Finally, the football stadium appeared. A classic, concrete stadium that blended well with the neighborhood and town, not some obnoxious monolith that ruined the skyline. Emily's eyes darted around and there he was - Touchdown Jesus - a mural added to the university's library in the 60's of Christ and a group of Christian scholars, philosophers and authors. They call it Touchdown Jesus because of His arms extended upward in the piece, as if he's signaling a touchdown.

Paige threw the car into park and leaned back with a sigh.

Emily looked away from the mural and turned to Paige. "So?" Paige still gripped the steering wheel as if she was seconds from changing her mind and dashing back to the interstate. "So," she replied.

Emily rolled her eyes and opened her door. "We might as well look around since we're here," she said. "Not that I wanted to get some Lou Malnati's pizza in Chicago or anything." She looked to Paige expecting a retort about Chicago-style pizza not being pizza but Paige was tight-lipped as she left the car. Emily followed her, guessing she was heading for the reflecting pool in front of the mural. Water was always their compass needle north.

The girls each took a seat along the pool and sat in silence for a moment. Emily was desperate to find some way to break the ice and was flipping through her thoughts for a subject for small talk. Paige decided, as always, to just jump in.

"This mural is called The Word of Life," Paige explained. "It is supposed to reflect Christian thought in all forms like education, writing, philosophy... The Touchdown Jesus thing is just coincidence.

"The Word of Life, at least as far as I know, comes from the first chapter of the book of John. It talks about how people who read the book should understand their obligation after reading the stories. How they're supposed to believe them, talk about them to others. I always thought that was totally pushy and wouldn't leave much else to talk about but you know. Religious people are nothing if they're not persistent.

"I mean where to they get off telling us we have to talk about Jesus all the time? I have a life, I have my interests and one of them isn't getting boffed in the nose because I wouldn't shut up about my religion."

"Paige, what are you..."

"Emily. I lied to you. I lied to you four years ago and I lie to you every moment we're together now. I lied to you in California. In Utah. In restaurants and hotel rooms. This whole time. And now that I'm sitting in front of this mural dedicated to a guy who believed in Truth I have to come clean."

The blood drained from Emily's head leaving her ashen and a little dizzy. She stared at the reflecting pool, glad for the distraction but sick to her stomach. What is going on, she thought.

"When you got to California I was so excited. Since I decided that Stanford was a bit too high pressure for me, I mean, freakin' Rachel Maddow and Chelsea Clinton went there! you came to San Jose State with me it felt so right. We could finally make our own life with our own memories and no cryptic text messages could stop us. We could be in love, we could be happy.

"But something happened. I got hurt. Hurt really bad. You were confused and homesick and missed your friends so I didn't want to bother you," admitted Paige.

"You were hurt real bad?"

Sighing, Paige's eyes well but the tears don't fall. "Not at first. I was getting therapy; I thought I was doing well. But the coaches...they pushed me pretty hard. Honestly, I'm not sure why. So I started working out again-and it got worse. Lots of yelling and I just broke. My grades slipped, my confidence was shattered."

"Dammit, Paige, how could you not tell me? You were my girlfriend, my best friend, I would have been there for you!" Emily cries.

"Being the strong one was my job. I could bear your hurts and pain but I couldn't share mine. I felt like it was too much to ask of you."

"What, was I too weak? As usual. Everybody needs to shelter Em from the hard stuff, don't hurt her feelings, don't tell her the truth, just cushion the blow. Just how goddamn weak did you think I was? I mean, didn't it occur to you that lying to me, leaving me with little explanation hurt me more than doing the right thing would have done?"

Paige sighs. She feels like she's aged a decade in 15 minutes. "I didn't see that at the time. I just wanted to protect you."

Emily stands up, straightens her shirt, and dusts off her shorts. When she runs out of things to do with her hands she looks out over the campus. "How can I ever trust you again? I almost went there but now, ugh, it's just the same." She wheels around and stomps toward the car allowing Paige's silent tears to finally fall.