AN:I'm not quite sure how this story happened. I came up with the basic idea in a session of sheer brainstorming for fanfiction ideas, but then it kind of twisted in directions i did not plan on going. Anyways. Enjoy, and please review. Tell me how I can make stuff like this better, and your opinion on it.

It all began when Shikamaru made chuunin.

After the fuss died down about the attack on the village and people nearly getting killed and the Hokage dying, Shikamaru's friends, that is to say Naruto and Choji, realized they had never celebrated Shikamaru becoming a chuunin. Obviously this was just wrong. So they gathered up some friends and acquaintances and had a boys-only sleepover party. Choji had doubted this was really the right way to celebrate, but Naruto had seen girls do it many times and assured him it was acceptable.

Sasuke did not really care about Shikamaru being a chuunin, and he did not particularly like the boy either, but Naruto dragged him into it. So there they were: Shikamaru, Naruto, Choji, Kiba, Shino, and Sasuke. And they were playing truth or dare.

For reasons that should have been obvious (such as manliness and a ninja dislike of telling the truth) nearly everyone was choosing dares. People were jumping off the roof, stabbing their hands with kunai, kissing each other, accepting punches from each other, and trying out strange, mostly spicy combinations of food. It was actually a pretty good party if you ignored the fact that Naruto was there and constantly getting in Sasuke's face.

Then it was Sasuke's turn and he picked dare (obviously). The person to dare him was none other than Shikamaru himself.

Shikamaru looked at Sasuke gravely. Then, with a strange look of determination on his face, he said, "I dare you to ask Ino out."

What.

Sasuke blinked once. Just once. And said, "Dare accepted. Do I need to do it right now? She's probably asleep."

"Saasuukeeeee!" Naruto shouted, aghast. "You can't be serious! Decline! Decline!"

Choji turned to Shikamaru, looking concerned. "But I thought you…."

Sasuke hushed Naruto. "I'm not going to decline a dare as simple as this. Not after you drove a kunai through your palm."

"I heal quick!" Naruto exclaimed. "Date Ino and you may cause wounds that will never heal…"

"Like what? She likes me. She won't object."

"Sure, she won't. But what about Sakura? She'll be mad as a bull."

"You should be happy," Sasuke said dismissively. "You've always wanted to go out with Sakura. If I go on a date with Ino, maybe she'll give up on me and you'll have a chance."

"Yeah, but…" Naruto sighed. "I just can't see this going well…."

"Sasuke's going to ask who out?" Sakura said breathlessly.

"Ino," Naruto said glumly.

Sakura laughed. "Haha, right. No way. He likes her even less than he likes me. And how would you know, anyways?"

Naruto hesitated. After all, he could hardly tell all the details of the Truth or Dare game. That was secret sleepover business. He settled on, "He told everyone at the party, Sakura! He's going to ask her out and it's going to be today and you have to do something before he does it!"

"Naruto," Sakura said slowly. "Sasuke. Isn't. Going. To ask Ino out."

"But he is…." Naruto groaned.

"You're delusional."

"You're ignoring my warnings!"

Thus went the argument between Sakura and Naruto. For some reason he had woken her up at six o'clock in the morning just to tell her stupid things that definitely were not going to happen. And now she was not going to be able to go back to sleep. And she had planned on doing extra training today. Kakashi had given them the day off, but if she wanted to get stronger, she had to train constantly. She felt a vague urge to hit Naruto for waking her up for something like this.

Three hours later, Shikamaru and Choji watched from a distance while Sasuke asked Ino out.

At first, there was some clear awkwardness and confusion, then Ino suddenly brightened up. Then Sasuke walked away as a still dazed Ino stared after him.

"You went through with it?" Shikamaru asked as Sasuke passed his and Choji's hiding place.

"Yes," Sasuke said with no emotion. "We'll be meeting up for lunch and a walk around town. That's as far as I'm going, Nara. I can't take much more of this."

Shikamaru nodded blankly. Sasuke walked away.

Choji whistled. "Well, he sure looks happy for someone about to date the most attractive kunoichi in Konoha."

"That's probably Anko, actually," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Yes, but Ino is the girl you like," Choji argued. "Why are you asking Sasuke to take her on a date, of all things?"

Shikamaru laced his fingers together. "Well, it's all part of my plan. See, I'm getting kind of tired of hearing Ino rant about Sasuke. After going on a date with him, maybe she'll realize what a jerk he is. Or maybe she'll finally be satisfied after that date and move on."

"Or maybe," Choji said. "She'll become even more in love with him and never shut up about him again. Or maybe he'll decide he likes her and they'll be boyfriend and girlfriend!"

"Anything's better than this," Shikamaru replied calmly. "I feel like I'm in Limbo. Sometimes it feels like maybe, just maybe she feels something for me after all, and then she won't stop talking about Sasuke. One way or the other, it has to be decided."

Choji sighed. "Well. Until it is fully decided, want to get some lunch?"

"It's only nine o'clock."

"I know, but I already had breakfast. You coming?"

"Why not?"

Sasuke was so dreamy. His face when he was eating ramen….It was so…

Revolting, actually. He ate ramen with a speed and vigor that reminded Ino of Naruto and made her shudder. She forced herself to be positive. He was probably only eating so quickly because he wanted to be done with eating so his mouth would be free to talk to her.

He was, of course, totally in love with her. This had been clear to Ino since the moment he had asked her out. His face had been frozen, he had been almost awkward, so it was obvious he was in love. Ino had never dreamed this day would come…Well, no, actually she had dreamed about it a lot, but it was still unexpected.

"So, Sasuke," Ino said in her most seductive voice. "Did you have anything else planned for today?"

"INO-PIG!"

Ino had not heard Sakura use that name against her since their match in the Chuunin Exam. In fact, they had almost been friendly with each other. Still, no surprise since Sasuke and Ino were sitting next to each other in an obviously romantic manner, eating lunch together.

"Hello forehead-girl," she greeted Sakura calmly. "Do you usually eat lunch at Ichiraku's? I don't usually, but when Sasuke asked me to, how could I say no?"

Sakura's jaw was clenched and Ino felt a wave of smug satisfaction. She thought she was the only girl in the world that Sasuke could ever like. Well, ha! Look at this, oh cherry blossom queen. Sasuke likes me just as much as you. No wait, that's a lie…He likes me more.

Sakura sat down next to Sasuke on his other side abruptly. Ignoring Ino, she said, "I didn't know you and Ino were…such good friends. Do you mind if I join you?"

Sasuke frowned. "It would be better if you didn't, Sakura. We're on a date."

And Ino saw Sakura's face go pure white in about a second. "O-hhhhh. Well then. You have a nice date, Sasuke-kun."

Still not speaking to Ino, Sakura left.

"Well, do you have any plans?" Ino asked again, moving closer to Sasuke. Ah! Any closer and they would be touching!

"I have to finish lunch first," Sasuke pointed out.

"That won't take long with the speed you're going," Ino said with a smile.

"Actually it will. I usually eat at least three bowls of ramen and I still haven't finished my first. I hope you don't get bored," he offered politely.

"Ah, Sasuke," Ino sighed. "I'm on a date with you. How could I possibly be bored?"

"Naruto!" Sakura screamed. "Where ARE you?"

Naruto opened the door to his apartment. "Sakura."

"Naruto! Naruto! I just saw Ino and she's with Sasuke and it's a date and he was okay with it and she was all happy and what if they kiss?"

Naruto took Sakura's hands comfortingly. "Come in, Sakura. Tell me all about it."

Sakura took a few deep breaths before she started summarizing the scene she had just left again. "And I think maybe he actually likes Ino," she finished. "I mean, when he answered me he was so cold. He must have been mad that I insulted her."

"Um." Naruto said. He remembered Sasuke's blank and stoic expression on hearing his dare. "No, I don't think that's the case."

"But! It was a date! He said so himself."

"Wellll…." Naruto knew that what happened at sleepovers needed to stay at sleepovers, but how was he supposed to explain this otherwise? "Um. Shikamaru?"

"What does Shikamaru have to do with this?!"

"Um…He got Sasuke to do it."

"No way! Shikamaru doesn't have that much influence on Sasuke."

Naruto suddenly felt irritated. "Look, does it really matter? What matters is that they're on a date. If we don't do something he'll end up dating Ino permanently and that would be horrible." Already he could picture Ino barging in on team training time, hugging Sasuke like a lunatic.

Sakura paled again. "That's right. What should we do?"

"Well, let's see…."

It looked like maybe things could still be boring with Sasuke there.

Sasuke was in the middle of his second bowl of ramen. Ino, meanwhile, still hadn't eaten anything. After all, she had to watch her weight. It was a little rude of Sasuke to eat while she was starving, in her opinion.

Then Sakura walked in again, right up to Sasuke.

She still looked pale, but she was not alone. Next to her stood, of all people, Naruto.

"Sakura," Sasuke muttered. "I told you I'm in the middle of the date. Can you wait until afterwards?"

"No," Naruto said suddenly. "This cannot wait. Sasuke, there is an important announcement we need to make. Right now. And it would probably be good if Ino heard it too."

Sasuke tilted his head. "Hn."

"Naruto and I," Sakura said in a wavering yet determined voice. "Are now dating."

What? Had Sakura given up on Sasuke so easily now that he had taken Ino out on a date? Ino was confused. But Sasuke, Sasuke was shocked. His eyes were wide and completely frozen.

"You…Naruto…you…and Uzumaki…and…what?"

"We're going out, teme!" Naruto exclaimed loudly. "Aren't you listening?"

Sasuke gaped. "How?"

"Well, until now, Sakura was holding up on dating me. Since we all know you have a huge crush on her, she thought it would be mean to accept my offer until you gave yours."

"I don't have a crush on Sakura."

"That's right!" Ino said. "Sasuke only likes me."

Naruto sighed like he was facing a particularly dim human being. "Have you ever seen them together? There are sparks flying all over the place."

"There are not!" Sasuke shouted.

Sakura interrupted. "No need to be so haughty about it. I have no problem with you having a crush on me, Sasuke, but this is going too far. Being so rude to me and asking Ino out? Is this your idea of playing hard to get? Whatever. I'm so done with you, loser."

"But…"

"You're the loser, Sakura!" Ino yelled. "Sasuke never liked you and he never will! Now go date Naruto somewhere else!"

Sakura smirked. "I don't think so. I think we'll have our date right here. Right Naruto?"

And so Sakura sat down next to Ino, and Naruto sat down next to Sakura.

Sakura was not really sure this was okay.

Naruto's plan was to make Sasuke jealous by pretending to be dating, but Sakura could not be sure he hadn't just made up this plan so he would have a chance to at least pretend to be on a date with Sakura. And she felt guilty about the things they had accused Sasuke of.

But Ino had made a very interesting face, so she focused on that and ignored the voice in her head telling her to stop (the conscience one, not the inner Sakura).

Meanwhile, Teuchi was congratulating Naruto on finally getting a girlfriend. As Naruto grinned and thanked him, Sakura narrowed her eyes. Naruto was having a little too much fun with this.

Still, it was good that this looked fairly genuine, she supposed. So she leaned towards him and Teuchi. "What do you mean, Teuchi-san? You're relieved he could get a girlfriend? Naruto could have gotten a girlfriend anytime he wanted to; he just loved me too much to romance anyone else."

Teuchi grinned. "Ah, you two are so cute together. Let me get you some ramen, Naruto. Just today, it's on the house."

As he walked away, Sakura leaned close to Naruto and whispered in his ear, in what she hoped would sound like a suggestive tone to Ino but would obscure the words, "You better give me some of that ramen. This is killing me."

"Of course," Naruto whispered back. He then hugged her, casually stroking her back, and she clasped her arms lightly around him as well. He whispered, "Don't look now, but Sasuke's having a freak out. I think we're getting to him."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I bet he never even considered us getting together. Jerk."

"Hey, I never considered it either."

"Yeah," Naruto conceded, still stroking her back. "But that was because you knew you'd never get together with me. Sasuke shouldn't have been so sure he knew your mind."

"But his confidence is one of the things that makes him cute," Sakura protested.

"Hey. We're on the same team. This is no time to be arguing."

"Ah, yes. Sorry. If Sasuke's freaking out, does that mean we should enter phase two?"

"Yeah, but maybe first, just to make it look realistic…" Naruto leaned even closer, so his lips almost touched her ear. "A kiss?"

"Don't test your luck, Naruto. As soon as the food gets here, phase two."

Ino felt disturbed.

Here she was having a date, with Sasuke, and neither of them could enjoy it because they were too creeped out by what was going on next to them.

Sakura and Naruto were snuggling like…champion snugglers?...Definitely not like they had just gotten together a few minutes ago. They were whispering suggestively in each other's ears and Naruto had a devilishly happy look on his face. Their hair was getting mixed together and oh…more snuggling. Sasuke had a frozen, stunned look on his face.

On the upside, he wasn't eating his ramen any more.

Then Naruto's ramen arrived. He gave one bowl of his six bowls to Sakura, and they both began eating slowly and methodically.

Since the snugglefest was apparently over, Sakura turned to Ino. "Neh, Ino? Why are you watching me? Aren't you on a date with oh-so-desirable Sasuke-kun?"

"Ah…just…You and Naruto…" She almost started mocking Sakura for choosing Naruto over Sasuke, but no! Bad idea. As long as Sakura was dating Naruto, she was out of the way. Best to encourage her. "You and Naruto are very…cute together."

"Jealous?"

"What? No!"

"In denial, I see," Sakura sighed. "Look, I know how it is. You try to convince yourself that you're fine with Sasuke, and that he's cool, but you know the truth. He's just a jerk with entitlement issues, and he doesn't really see who you are. And he isn't even paying attention to you. He's still staring at Naruto."

And he was.

"I pity you," Sakura continued. "I mean, he might like you, but he'll never make you happy. He's not the man you think he is. He won't give you the affection you deserve and he won't even respect you, most likely. You want my advice? Break up with him. You'll end up wanting to do it eventually anyways, and I'd say it's best to do it soon. The longer you wait, the more it will hurt him."

Ino said, "Since when do you dislike Sasuke? You used to like him just as much as I did! I mean, do. You yelled at me just for sitting next to him a few minutes ago. I think you're the one who's jealous."

"Jealous? Me? I just didn't like you encouraging Sasuke with liking you, since I know the two of you will just break up in the end. And I haven't been a fan of his since the beginning of the Chuunin Exam. Why, when we've talked I've barely brought him up."

That was true. The few times Ino and Sakura had talked since the Chuunin Exam, it had been about their friendship in the past and their lives now, not boys.

"I figured out that Naruto is just a nicer person…" Sakura trailed off. "Well, I guess that route won't work for you. After all, you don't have any nice, kinda slacker, kinda annoying teammates that always make your blood rush to date, do you?"

Ino frowned. "Now that you mention it…Wait, no! I like Sasuke, and I'm dating him, so there."

Sakura shook her head. "He hasn't even given you any of his ramen. How miserly can you be?"

Then she turned back to Naruto. And continued eating the bowl of ramen he had given her.

Idiocy! Of course Sasuke would give her some ramen if she asked for it. She turned to him. "Sasuke-kun?"

He blinked. "They're dating."

"Yeah. Um, anyways. Can you give me a bowl of your ramen? After all, you have four…"

Sasuke shook his head, finally paying attention. "I have to eat a lot, or I won't have enough energy for training later."

"Um, then can you buy me some more?"

"I don't have much money left. Besides, aren't you supposed to be on a diet?"

Fat. He called her fat.

Ino snapped.

"How much of a jerk can you be?! That's it! We're through, Sasuke!"

She stormed out the door in a huff. Why had she ever liked Sasuke? One thing was for sure, she was never going down that road again. No, she had someone else in mind.

An hour later, Sasuke was training hard.

He was confused. It wasn't that he wanted girls to be crushing on him, but he was kind of used to it. Now Ino, the craziest fangirl basically in the world, had broken up with him. He wasn't a jerk. He was just a poor innocent ninja victimized by a dare.

And why was Sakura going out with Naruto?

Speak of the kunoichi and she will appear. Sakura suddenly dropped down from a tree to where Sasuke was punching it. "Hey. If you have to punch trees to practice whatever technique that is, could you punch a different one?"

Sasuke stared at her. "Sure." He turned to another tree.

"So, tough luck Ino breaking up with you, huh?"

"Hn." It was good luck because it meant he hadn't had to go through with the date, but it had been weird. Ino had been acting so eager to please, and then she had suddenly turned into a demon. "Why are girls so strange?"

Sakura sighed. "It's because you don't treat us right, Sasuke-kun."

"How am I supposed to know how to treat a girl I'm dating? Why does it even matter?"

"With that kind of attitude, you'll never get a girlfriend, Sasuke-kun. And you'll probably never revive your clan." Sakura stepped closer. "Really though, satisfying a girlfriend is a lot simpler than you make it sound. I could teach you how."

Sasuke made no objection because honestly, at this point he figured he needed some tips.

"First of all, you have to talk to her a bit more. Or at least pay attention to what she's saying."

"I do that," Sasuke objected. "And that's not really helping. How did Naruto manage to please you so much? What's so great about him?"

Sakura blushed. "You want to learn how to please girls like Naruto? Okay then. First, you have to put your arms around them. Like this," she said, awkwardly pulling Sasuke's arms around herself. "And hold them like you don't actually want them to leave."

Sasuke had actually wanted Ino to leave, but that was beside the point.

"When you speak, use a pleasant voice. The ear whispering isn't necessary, but it can be very romantic. Oh, and one very important thing that Naruto didn't do. You have to kiss."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Kiss?"

Sakura confirmed by giving him a long, tender kiss on the lips.

"Um," Sasuke said when she was done. "You shouldn't do that, since you're dating Naruto."

Sakura smiled. "I think I'm going to break up with him, anyways."

"Then, would you go out with me?" So we can kiss like that more often? Because that was pretty awesome. "It would be good practice, you know. I mean, I know you don't actually like me but I do need practice with girls and you seem to know what to do."

"Well," Sakura said. "I guess so."

Ino finally found Choji and Shikamaru eating together at a barbeque joint where apparently they'd been feasting since nine.

"Sasuke's a jerk!" she yelled.

Shikamaru grumbled, "Sounds like your date didn't go so well."

Ino took a few deep breaths and then slowly smiled. "It doesn't matter. It helped me realize something important." She took another deep breath because if she ever needed courage, she needed it now. "Would you go out with me, Choji?"

AN: Once again, please review.