You hated her, mostly because you were jealous. She was tough, an amazing fighter and beautiful. But above all you hated her because she had Raph's attention. Raph liked her, he got attracted to her toughness and her fighting skills and just maybe his feelings towards her were more than just 'like'.

It was Christmas Eve and everyone was in the turtle's lair along with her! Joe was her name and you (like I mentioned twice before) HATED her. Raph was currently standing beside her and laughing along with both of them holding a glass of punch.

"(Y/N) you okay?" Casey asked as he walked into the kitchen. He could probably feel the dark aura emitting from you as soon as he stepped into that place.

Yes am fine" you said with a scowl. Fine? You were nothing near to fine!

"Doesn't look like that ta me" he replied as if he just read your thoughts. You sighed. Casey knew you loved Raph, he found that out a little while ago when he noticed you looking at him with a soft smile on your face and a light bulb flickered above his head. That evening he blackmailed you into telling him about your feelings towards Raph, and you threatened him that if word ever gets out about this, he could very well plan for his funeral. You knew Raph was a hothead and rough but it was only on the outside, you were able to see beyond that, he was soft deep inside and he really cared for his loved ones. And which girl would not like a bad-boy with a hot personality?

You shook your head as if dismissing those thoughts and looked towards Raph's direction, which was a big mistake because you saw Joe lean in and kiss him and your heart just shattered. You held the tears from leaking out and turned your head so that no one could catch glimpse of those salty tears. But since you were turned towards Casey, he noticed the tears lining in your eyes.

"I'm going out" you said in a low voice and grabbed the jacket and headed out of the lair. Since you passed Leo and Mikey without as much as a good-bye, it got their attention and they both exchanged confused glances. You weren't like that. You were a happy girl that would always welcome them with a hug. Why were you so down on Christmas Eve? Casey sighed. If you hadn't made him promise not to tell Raph anything, he would have realized your love and you wouldn't be in such a state. You wanted Raph to know on his own and love you, not because someone told him. Casey sighed again. Man, you were stubborn.

Your foot made crunching noises on the snow covered ground and you pulled your jacket more closely around your form. Damn! It was cold outside! You should have bought gloves or something. You felt as if your fingers were turning into a Popsicle. You glanced up at the rooftop of your apartment. Your own place to let go off your stress and have some quiet time to yourself.

You reached up at the rooftop and sat on the edge, swinging your legs over it. You glanced down at the city below you. All dead in the silence of night, except for one or two people walking here and there and a few cars silently creeping around corners of the city. Who would be out at this time? People were probably in their house cuddling with their loved ones and laughing heartily enjoying the time and peace they had together. You let out an annoyed sigh. You were really going to kill yourself if you keep chasing after Raph. He doesn't return your feelings. What's the use?

It was so quiet and serene. A soft giggle of two people caught your attention and you looked down at the couple holding hands. An upset sigh escaped from your cold lips. How much you loved that red-masked turtle. A cold wind blew past your face, swaying your hair a little as you recollected a moment between you and Raphael.

FLASHBACK

"Raph" you called softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"what?!" he snapped. You flinched at the anger in his tone and apologized as you drew back your hand. A regretful look washed upon his face as he realized he had frightened you. He didn't mean to, he was just angry. His eyes darted onto the ground as he stood on the roof. The moon shining above him and the tail of his blood red mask fluttering slightly in the wind.

"I know, you're mad at Leo, but would it harm you to talk about it?" you pressed on.

"What good is it gonna do?" he asked, still being the stubborn hot head.

"It will make you feel much lighter to share your burden. Just try it, will ya?!" you pushed him to open up. He was more used to just steaming off and he never really voiced out his concern to anyone other than Casey. You wanted him to talk to you. To tell you how he feels, so you could soothe him, tell him everything will be alright. You wanted to be his special person.

Raph kept quiet but then after a few minutes he blurted out. "Why is it that Leo always gets everythin'? Master Splinter talks about him like we are nothin'! It's always Leo the Fearless Leader. I mean come on! Give me a break!" he blew off.

"Raph it's not like that. You're just as strong as Leo, you've saved your brothers and him countless of times. You're important to this team just as much as Leo is. You're nothing less." you tried soothing him. You placed your hand on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his waist enveloping him into a warm hug. Raph stiffened for a minute at the contact of your feel against his. It's the first time a girl (other than April) have hugged him and in such a way. His face gained a little pink color and he scowled at the thought of getting shy at the mere touch of a girl. However, he only hesitated for a minute to wrap his arms around your small frame and return the gesture. "You're nothing less" you repeated. And Raph thought that you might or might not be right, but it did the trick to make him feel calmer, to make him feel much more controlled and if only for a minute, to lift a wee bit of burden from his shoulders.

END FALSHBACK

Why couldn't Raph see what you felt towards him? You were always there for him. You understood him better than his brothers. You were strong, tough and a really good fighter. You always supported him but he was too blind to see that. Well, whatever happened happened. He loves Joe (for anyone who doesn't know Joe, she is a blonde short-haired fighter who appears in the TMNT series, more probably in season 4 and Raph had took a liking to her, now the readers can kill me for spoiling their mood) and it would be hard changing that. You felt like disappearing and a few tears slid down your face.

"What are you doin out here in the cold?" came a deep and raspy voice from behind. You didn't need to turn around to know who that was.

"What are you doing here Raph?" you asked back, your voice not betraying any hint of sorrow.

"Didn't I just ask you that?"

"Nothing" you replied. Raph wasn't buying that as an answer. You stood up, mostly because your butt froze from the cold floor you were sitting on and you wanted to get away from him.

"Go back to the party" you replied more like demanded. Raph detected the anger and frustration in your voice. It wasn't like you to be that way. You were actually a happy person. Almost as happy as Mikey was.

He walked up to you and took a hold of your wrist turning you around so that you would face him. He hated it when people don't give him straight answers, especially when it is you. Why can't you just come out and say what's bothering you? Your eyes widened at him in the fact as you realized that he was seeing your teary eyes and the tears running down your face. You thought he was going to get confused and repeatedly ask you what's wrong until he demanded an answer but instead he let out a sight, wiped your tears away with his thumb and wrapped his arms around you pulling you in to him. Before you could ask what he was doing he captured your lips with his in a kiss full of passion and love and… regret. Your mind was telling you to pound him and demand an explanation for his actions but your heart and body disobeyed. You dreamed of this moment with him. And just like in your dreams you wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss not caring about anything else. Once he pulled away, you looked at him, eyes filled with questions while his eyes were filled with love and was begging for forgiveness.

"Raph…." Your words were cut as he placed a finger on your lips indicating you to keep silent.

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

"what?" you asked in complete confusion.

"When I couldn't find you in the lair I asked Casey where you were. Instead of tellin me, he threw an angry look and yelled at me tellin me how much of an idiot I was for not recognizing your love" he paused. His voice was incredibly soft. You bet that his brothers or anyone else in this world never saw this side of him. Your cheeks grew red and he chuckled. "Guess I didn't realize somethin' else until Casey told me that." You waited for him to continue. "That I was in love with ya all this time" he finished. You smiled bitter-sweetly and you couldn't contain your love for him anymore. You jumped into him and kissed him with much force and he returned it with equal force with passion and love.

"I didn't think you had this side of you" your lips brushed against his with every word.

"Only towards you" he replied and kissed you again as the snow fell around you two.