Author Notes: I had this idea running through my head, giving me a writer's block with my other story so I made this. Does not follow the Naruto Shippuden storyline directly. Contains OC(s), little to no mentions of Nagato, no mention of Obito (I'm a Tobi fan only), and the Akatsuki being driven up a wall. Don't like, don't read. Reviews would be welcomed and constructive criticism is also welcomed, destructive...NO! Also if you know the Japanese versions of Jutsus please tell me (I ask this on account of some people writing the names in Japanese only but I prefer English). I own nothing but my OCs, check my profile.
Prologue
Akatsuki Main Hideout
Pain looked at the assembled group of S-ranked criminals that was the Akatsuki and cleared his throat to no effect due to the constant cussing of Hidan against Kakuzu, Deidara yammering about his "art" and a whole ton of other minor pains. Pain got a tick mark on his forehead.
"ALMIGHTY PUSH!" yelled Pain outstretching his hands and launching the group into the nearby wall where they collapsed into a heap except Tobi who was snickering.
"Now that I have your undivided attention, I would like you to welcome our newest member." said Pain motioning towards a figure in the shadows who stepped out and a few of the members face-vaulted at his appearance while Tobi shined like a star. The new member already had the Akatsuki cloak on, but one thing that was disturbing to most was the blue-green mask in a spiral pattern with the right eye visible. He appeared no older than twelve-years-old. Hidan got up and walked up to the kid before leaning on his scythe.
"Listen kid, this job is for the adults, so why don't you go back to your snotty parents and-" Hidan was never able to finish his sentence because he was suddenly looking down the barrel of a large cannon.
"Call my parents 'snotty' again and I'll blast your head off." threatened the kid and Hidan backed off with his hands in a "I surrender" gesture.
"I like this kid." said Kisame smirking as he shouldered Samehada.
Itachi looked the kid over and felt something...familiar about him but shrugged it off. Deidara walked up to the kid and extended his hand.
"I'm Deidara and-" began the mad blonde bomber but was cut off by the kid.
"-And you like to use your mouthed hands as pleasure tools and you're a closet pervert due to you having a girly pony-tail." finished the kid and for five seconds everybody was silent before everyone except Deidara burst out laugh while the blonde bomber blushed furiously. Even the stoic Uchiha was laughing his head off and Tobi was on the ground clutching his stomach and Deidara glared at the orange masked ninja.
"I'm sorry Deidara-Sempai, but it's just so funny!" gasped Tobi between fits of laughter. Deidara stormed off and locked himself in his room before an explosion went off and the door fell off its hinges.
"[Sarcastically] Oops! Were these for me?" said the kid opening his hands to reveal clay bombs and everybody burst into another fit of laughter.
"What's your name kid?" said Kisame trying to calm himself.
"Klaxon formerly from the Village Hidden in the Leaves!" said the kid striking a pose and sounding childish unlike he sounded moments before and Itachi despite being unable to control his laughter, mentally narrowed his eyes.
END CHAPTER
That's it for this chapter. If anyone has ideas please PM me and remember CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed, DESTRUCTIVE is NOT.