A/N: Hiya guys! Wow, I'm so speedy! Less than a day on Fanfiction and I've already got three stories up! Anyway, I promised some people who reviewed on my last story, "Fairy Tale Ending", that I'd do my best to get up some chapters of other stories I have partially written. I'm gonna try and update as often as possible, but

A) I've got school. I'm on Spring Break now, so I can write all day, but I usually only get weekends a maybe a few afternoons. But I do have a bunch of material stored up in Word right now...it should last at least for a while.

B) This is a family shared computer. I'm competing daily with my dad and sister for typing time, so even if I have the story completely done on Word, it may take me days to find time to actually update it onto this site.

So remember, I'll try my best to keep a steady schedule (people who don't drive me wacky sometimes!), but if I'm not updating, don't send me flaming PMs or anything; it's probably not under my control. Wow, I seem to be in a pattern of writing insanely long author's notes...maybe I should get started with the actually story now.

Disclaimer: I own a brand new pair on Nike tennis shoes (yay!) but I don't own Phineas and Ferb

Chapter One—A Strange Morning in the Flynn-Fletcher Backyard

"Hey Ferb," I yelled, bolting straight up in bed about a second and a half before the blaring of my alarm clock jolted me and I hit the "off" button. "Guess what? I know what we're gonna do today!"

Ferb sat up in bed and swung his feet over the side, looking at me expectantly. My brother was what I described as "a man of few words". Ferb was incredibly smart and talented with a wrench—and actually almost any other tool, including chain saws and welders—but he had never been much of a chatterbox. That was really more my thing.

Ferb was a pretty good looking guy, according to Danville's general female population; ever since we hit our first year of high school, girls had been fawning over his British accent, tall and muscular build, and element of mystery (which was really just a preference of letting me do the talking), along with his amazing building skills. I admit that I had my fair share of crazed and obsessive fangirls too, what with my amazing building skills and "over-all hotness factor", as I once heard someone whisper in the hallway, plus the fact that I kept up a perfect 4.0 average even with all my side projects. Anyway, Ferb was a good four inches taller than me—and I was a pretty tall kid—and he wore perfectly pressed khakis every morning without fail. He also donned a cream button-down with a purple vest, and had messy green hair that wasn't dyed, no matter how fake it looked. It drove me crazy how perfectly messy his hair always looked; mine was just, you know, messy.

"Phineas Flynn," Ferb looked at me, slightly annoyed and tugging on his rumpled purple pajama tee shirt. "You are sixteen years old. Am I ever going to stop hearing that phrase when I wake up?"

"Never, oh brother of mine," I grinned. "So anyway, I was having this dream last night about Perry being a secret agent—"

"Why would Perry be a secret agent?" Ferb broke in. I sighed in a teeny bit of annoyance; Ferb used to be much quieter when we were ten, but around me and the gang—and by the gang I mean Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella—he had started talking much more. He still clammed up around strangers, though.

"I don't know, I guess it was just my sub-conscious trying to explain where he goes every day," I shrugged. "Anyhow, I was just thinking that maybe we could make a machine so we could read the minds of platypi! Or is it platypuses…? Anyway, then we could ask Perry where he goes every day, and we could hear him think and answer! I know we already tried that with an animal translator a few years ago, but this is different." I looked over at Ferb for confirmation.

"Okay," Ferb shrugged. "Why not, I suppose; you are always asking where he goes every morning."

"Then we'd better get started Ferb!" I exclaimed. "Hey," I looked at the foot of my bed; Perry's favorite spot to sleep, which was suspiciously devoid of mindless teal platypi. Or is it platy-people… "Where's Perry?"

Outside the Bedroom

Perry peeked around the door frame of his owners Phineas and Ferb's shared bedroom, standing on his hind legs and looking much less mindless than platypi usually do. He stifled a smile as he heard Phineas' famous "Where's Perry?" line. And the dream about him being a secret agent was just a strange coincidence, because, unknown to the boys, Perry actually was a secret agent.

Perry quickly ran to the staircase leading to the first floor of the home, slipping on his brown fedora—a mark of his job. He paused as the third step from the top squeaked slightly. Perry felt around with his orange webbed foot for a moment until it hit a latch on the squeaking stair. Perry silently popped the latch and the floor swung away under him, and he slid through a clear pipe directly into the secret agency he worked for; the O.W.C.A., or Organization without a Cool Acronym. As the pipe ended, Perry fell into his orange swivel chair in front of a large, currently blank screen. But after Perry pushed a large red button, a man's face and upper body came onto the screen.

The man was in his late forties, maybe, although he had a white buzz-cut and straight-across mustache. He also had a noticeable gray uni brow and was wearing a green military jacket. His eyes were both on the same side of his over-sized nose, something Perry had always wondered about but didn't want to ask. It would probably be impolite.

"Agent P, we're glad you're here," The man, Perry's boss Major Monogram, said. "Your nemesis, the evil Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, has been purchasing some very strange objects off the internet; twelve cases of premium hearing aids; an entire drug stores' worth of Vitamin E, the famous ear improving vitamin; and one of those big horn things that old people hold up to their ears to hear better. We don't know what he's up to, but it sounds like no good." Major Monogram suddenly stared giggling like a little girl. "Did you catch my pun there, Agent P? You know, sounds like no good, because…" The Major trailed off as he saw Perry's annoyed expression. "Yeah…" He said awkwardly.

"I thought it was funny, sir," Karl, Major Monogram's curly red-headed, unpaid intern and camera man yelled from off screen in his high, nasally voice.

"Quiet, Karl! I'm trying to finish Agent P's mission!" Monogram yelled. "Uh, so get out there, and put a stop to it!" He finished lamely.

Perry saluted crisply and pressed a button on his chair. Suddenly, a flock of bright yellow canaries fluttered in from the ceiling and engulfed the platypus, flying him to the headquarters of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. When the birds were directly over Doof's open skylight, the released Perry, and he opened a parachute before unlatching it and landing in perfect position inside of the building. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Perry's sworn enemy and nemesis, stepped into the light.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz called himself an evil genius, but he really looked more like a pharmacist. He wore gray pants and a black shirt, with a white lab coat over it. He had unbrushed brown hair and a pointy nose, with droopy eyes from lack of sleep. He also had a very strong chin, but that was mostly the action of his embarrassingly weak forehead.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz practically purred, "How un-containable. And by un-containable, I mean…completely containable!" Perry had only a moment to look up before a giant flesh-colored plastic ear fell from the ceiling, encasing him in the eardrum. Perry growled in aggravation. "Do you like my trap, Perry the Platypus? It's based off my evil invention of the day. Behold, the Speak Up-Inator!" A large machine that resembled a phonograph rose from the floor, along with some dramatic music.

"Grrk-rrk-rrk-rrk-rrk," Perry chattered, rolling his eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Perry the Smartypus!" Doofenshmirtz pouted. "I'm a brilliant inventor! Now, if we can stop with the interruptions, I'd like to tell you what my machine does." Heinz took a deep breath and looked into the sky dramatically. "When I was a young boy back in Gimmelshtump…"

*Flashback*

Doof is shown as a young boy in lederhosen in his front garden, dressed as a lawn gnome with his father sticking his head out the window and yelling "Bewegen Sie nicht (Be quiet!)!" loudly into Doof's ear.

"My father used to criticize me so loudly, I partially lost my hearing in one ear for most of my childhood," Doof's adult voice floated through the flashback.

Heinz is now in front of a dismal school building, surrounded by mean-looking boys yelling Gimmelshtumpian insults at him, with Doof cupping his hand to his ear in a "speak up" gesture.

"Because of this, I could never tell when the other boys were insulting me, and would degradingly yell 'What?' until they rolled over laughing."

*End Flashback*

"But now, Perry the Platypus, I will make sure that everyone in the city feels my pain," Doof said evilly, back in his adult form in his apartment building. "By hitting people with my –inator and making everyone talk so loudly against their will that no one will hear anything! And when my brother Roger," Heinz practically gagged on this word in disgust. "Suddenly can't hear a word anyone is saying, he'll be impeached as mayor! And I will rule the Tri-State Area! Because, you know, I'll be the only person who can hear anything, with all of these hearing aids I bought with my ex-wife's alimony checks. I'll just, you know, turn them almost completely down. I guess…"

Perry sighed. He wasn't even paying attention; he was currently playing with a red light-up yoyo. "Perry the Platypus, have you been yoyo-ing through my evil scheme monologue?" The evil scientist sounded genuinely hurt. Perry rolled his eyes and slipped his yoyo into his hat. "Thank you, Perry the Platypus. So anyway…" But Doof suddenly realized that Perry was cupping his hand around his little platypus ear, seemingly not hearing. "I said…" Doof spoke up, but Perry only gestured harder. "PERRY THE PLATYPUS, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU NOT—!?" Finally, Doofenshmirtz's high, unmanly voice and loud volume burst the fake eardrum holding Perry.

"Grrk-rrk-rrk-rrk-rrk!" Perry said angrily in platypus speech.

"Oh…" Doof said, Perry's plan dawning on him. "You planned that didn't you, Perry the Plat—?" But Perry interrupted him with a punch to his nose. "Ow, Perry the Ouchiepus!" Heinz yelled angrily sounding like a four-year-old. Perry ran past him and quickly hit the large, red button on the Speak Up-Inator clearly marked "self destruct". "Maybe I should stop including self destruct buttons," Heinz mumbled as the machine blew up in his face, with Perry already hang gliding out the window. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doof yelled after him.

Neither of them noticed the beam of emerald green light emitting from the machine a split second before it self-destructed, aiming right towards the Flynn-Fletcher household.

A/N: *Gasp* Dun dun dun duuuuun! Oh no, Phineas and Ferb are right in the line of fire! What's going to happen? Are they going to be okay? What came first, the chicken or the egg? I'll answer all of these (except that last one) in chapter 2! My first ever second chapter! This is monumental for me! And, uh, guys? If anyone wants to PM me and explain how to stick a second chapter on a story...I could use the assistance.

Byee everybody!

-Cutie