A/N: This story is based on 'The Unknown Light' by Someryn (on this site) and the idea was used with her permission. This is about rape and the aftermath so do not read if the subject matter offends or upsets you. There is no slash in this story.

Thank you to my beta, StephanieO and my Brit picker, Mark for their input into the story. Thank you to Someryn for graciously letting me use her idea and add my own twist to the story. This story is finished and rather short compared to most of my stories. I plan to post every few days. Please let me know what you think.

Harry jogged down Privet Drive to the playground. Once in the playground he followed the newly renovated jogging path around the edge of the park. After running the path around the park three times, he sat down to do sit ups and push-ups. He was grateful to Kingsley Shacklebolt who'd suggested he start working out over the Christmas break. It was a great stress reliever and he found that he really enjoyed running.

As he started stretching, he noticed that the park was rather empty for a late weekday afternoon. Slightly alarmed he scanned the park, but didn't notice anything or anyone out of place. Still something felt off as if maybe someone was watching him. He'd seen several order members in the area early in the summer, but he hadn't seen anyone in recent weeks. He didn't know if they had just become better at hiding or they simply weren't guarding him anymore. He had hoped to see Remus Lupin at some point, but if Remus was one of his guards he was staying well hidden. Was his guard back?

He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched, so Harry headed back to his relatives' house. Aunt Petunia greeted him with a list of chores, so Harry started working on the list. It took him quite a bit longer than he'd hoped and he finished after dinner. Of course his relatives decided that if he missed dinner, he didn't need to eat that night.

Rather disgruntled, Harry headed upstairs and took a quick shower before heading to his room. Hedwig was out hunting so he left the window opened. Several hours later he was woken by the sound of spells being cast in his room.

Harry went to sit up, but discovered to his dismay he'd been immobilized. Looking around the room, he could see one person in his room.

"Hello, wittle Hawwy," said a familiar and hated voice. He felt a surge of anger and rage. This was the woman who had murdered his beloved godfather.

To Harry's surprise, he could actually still talk. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Bellatrix Lestrange gave a maniacal laugh and surprisingly slid his glasses on him so he could see. She was by herself, which was rather odd. The years in Azkaban had not been kind to her. Her wild black hair was littered with tangles and liberally streaked with grey, she was skeletally thin, and her eyes burned with a touch of madness.

Harry scanned the room, grateful that his owl was not here. He couldn't imagine Bellatrix would show any mercy to his beautiful owl. To his dismay, his wand was nowhere in sight. He really hoped she hadn't destroyed it. How on earth had she gotten in here? Dumbledore had told him that he was safe here and he had foolishly believed him. He mentally castigated himself for not being more proactive and making certain he was protected.

His thoughts were interrupted as Bellatrix started speaking again. He could only assume she'd either killed his relatives or set up some type of Silencing Charm because he could hear nothing beyond his room. He vaguely hoped it was a Silencing Charm.

"You can help me, Harry Potter," the witch hissed at him. "I wish to present my master with a gift that will help to defeat you."

To Harry's disgust and horror, she began disrobing as she talked. Please, dear Lord, don't let her be doing what she looked like she was doing!

"I've researched your family line," Bellatrix said as if nothing unusual was happening. "We should be compatible. I will be able to present my Lord with both an heir and leverage over you."

"What?!" Harry burst out. "No! You are f-ing crazy!"

She simply smiled before pulling several potion vials out of her pocket. Two of them she swallowed and two of them she forced him to drink. He tried in vain to spit them out, but she used a spell that compelled him to swallow.

He tried to close his eyes as she finished undressing, but he was unable to do that either. It wasn't fair, the first naked woman he'd ever seen was a skeletal psychotic murderer. He was so far from aroused that he hoped nothing would happen, but that was not to be Harry's luck.

The purpose of the blue potion was soon apparent as Harry's body reacted against his will. With a wave of her wand, Bellatrix removed his clothing and climbed up on the bed next to him. The next few hours were among the most horrifying in his young life. The potions she had given him did their jobs as he was forced to copulate with her over and over. At first he begged her to stop, but when he realized that seemed to give her more pleasure he lay quietly.

He lay there immobilized with tears streaming down his face, praying that he would die. If he died, he would be able to join his parents and Sirius. The feel of her bony cold body against him was abhorrent and he could feel her hot, putrid breath all over his face and neck. The only thing he was thankful for was he seemed to be numb from the waist down so he couldn't actually feel what was happening.

Bellatrix, on the other hand, was enjoying herself and was quite vocal in her enjoyment. Her compliments on his appearance and his size were humiliating and degrading. After an indeterminate amount of time, that to Harry seemed like a lifetime, Bellatrix seemed satisfied. She crawled off of him and redressed herself.

It was only after she disappeared that Harry found himself able to move. He lay still for a moment in the sticky and soiled linen before racing to the bathroom. He barely made it in time as he vomited over and over.

How could this have happened? Dumbledore swore he was safe. How had she managed to get past the defences that supposedly kept him safe? Most importantly, why had she done that? Was it just to humiliate him? She succeeded in that. He felt violated and betrayed.

Once he had emptied his stomach, he wanted nothing more than to scrub himself clean. The light filtering in through the window showed him that morning was rapidly approaching and his relatives would be awake soon. Should he chance the punishments he was sure to get if he showered? He really didn't want to think anymore.

As he lay on the floor, collapsed in front of the toilet, he could see Dudley's razor. Uncle Vernon was convinced that using an old fashioned straight razor was the sign of a gentleman. Harry eyed the razor with a strange kind of longing. He didn't imagine it would be that difficult to just end everything with a razor that sharp. With a clarity that rather scared him, he could imagine the bite of the razor against his wrist and the metallic smell of his blood. He could finally be with his parents and Sirius. He wouldn't be burdened with being the-bloody-boy-who-lived, he wouldn't have to worry about the stupid prophecy.

Even as he thought about it, he realized he could never do it. He wanted to be a part of getting rid of Voldemort. After tonight, he certainly wanted to rid the world of Bellatrix. His stomach twisted and he retched again. As his stomach settled, he realized that he wanted to live for other reasons as well. He wanted his friends to be safe. He wanted to play Quidditch. He wanted…he blushed as he realized that he wanted a family. It would be amazing to fall in love and get married. He wasn't sure if that would ever be possible, but it would be brilliant.

The sound of his uncle's alarm galvanized him into action. He certainly couldn't jump in the shower now, but he wasn't willing to stay covered in the gross, sticky mix of fluids he was currently coated in. A thought crossed his mind and cautiously he called out, "Dobby!"

A pop heralded the arrival of this excitable little elf. This time however, he took one look at Harry and simply held out his hand. Within seconds Harry found himself in the Prefect's Bathroom at Hogwarts.

"Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said softly. "Dobby will take care of Harry Potter, sir."

With an efficiency Harry had rarely seen from the elf, he drew Harry a bath and helped Harry into the tub. The warm, scented water was a balm to Harry's shattered nerves. He scrubbed himself raw under the watchful eye of the faithful little elf. Harry vaguely remembered sobbing and retching some more as the reality of what had happened pressed down on him. How was he going to face his friends? Would everyone know? No one would ever want to date him now.

Once he was clean, Dobby patiently healed the scratches, bruises, and scattered bite marks the witch had inflicted upon the young wizard. With a rather dazed acceptance, Harry took the clothes that Dobby had cleaned and sized for him and let Dobby take him back to his relatives' house.

In his room, Dobby quickly changed the sheets and started casting spells in a language Harry did not understand. Harry could feel a slight charge in the air. He felt rather warm and protected. For the first time in years, the little room smelled clean and welcoming. When he was finished, Dobby helped the boy back into bed.

"Dobby cleaned and protected Harry Potter's room," Dobby said gently. The elf handed the boy two vials of potion. "This will settle Harry Potter's stomach and get rid of your headache."

Obediently, Harry took the potions and lay down. "My relatives," he murmured.

"Harry Potter's relatives will not bother him today," Dobby announced. "Dobby fixed it."

"Will I get in trouble for all of the magic used here?" Harry asked anxiously.

"No, Harry Potter, sir. Dobby has hidden his magic and the evil witch did as well," Dobby reassured the distraught boy.

"You know what she did?" Harry whispered as he looked at the ceiling.

Dobby hesitated before he replied gently, "Dobby knows the evil witch attacked Harry Potter."

"Does anyone else know?"

"No, Harry Potter, sir."

"Thank you, Dobby."

The next week crept by for Harry. He didn't sleep well and when he did manage to fall asleep he was plagued by nightmares. So far he'd managed to keep from waking Uncle Vernon, but Harry was afraid his luck would run out soon. Each evening he expected to see Bellatrix or Voldemort appear in his room, but no one appeared. To his surprise, he saw Bill Weasley a few times guarding the house.

Harry was rather confused. He'd thought the Order had forgotten about him or had better things to do. He'd seen Order members earlier in the summer, but for the two weeks prior to Bellatrix's attack and several days afterwards he hadn't seen anyone.

He found he couldn't even look at a girl without blushing and feeling nervous. He was disgusted with himself and he despised Bellatrix Lestrange. How could he expect to defeat Voldemort if he couldn't even fight off one deranged witch? Even more than himself and Bellatrix he found he was furious with Professor Dumbledore. The whole reason he was stuck here was the wards Professor Dumbledore had assured him would protect him.

Part of him wanted to rant and rave at Dumbledore, but another part of him didn't want to talk about it ever again. How could Bellatrix Lestrange have made it into his bedroom and no one noticed? Where were the guards or the magical means by which Dumbledore claimed to be keeping an eye on him? Did they know what had happened?

At times he thought maybe it was his punishment for getting his godfather killed. Dobby had taken to checking on Harry every few days. He would bring any potions he thought Harry might need – something to settle his stomach or a nutrient potion, but more importantly for Harry he brought a Dreamless Sleep Potion every three to four days.

Finally eight days after his encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange, Harry heard from the Weasleys. He was invited to spend the rest of the summer at the Burrow.

"Harry, is something bothering you?" Professor Dumbledore asked in concern.

He could tell something was off with the young wizard, but he really had no idea what it might be. The Order members who were guarding Privet Drive had not reported anything out of the ordinary. Harry was running every day as well as doing chores for his aunt and uncle.

Harry looked up at the professor. "N-no, sir, nothing's wrong." Harry shrugged. "At least nothing new, I miss Sirius and I'm angry at myself for letting Voldemort trick me like that."

The older wizard watched the younger wizard for another moment. He thought it was something more than Sirius's death that was affecting the young man, but he had no idea what it might be. He resolved to speak to those who had been guarding Privet Drive to see if they had any idea what may have happened.

"Thank you for helping me with Professor Slughorn," Professor Dumbledore repeated his thanks from earlier. "Mr and Mrs Weasley are thrilled to have you here. I have increased the security at the Burrow, but I would ask that you not leave the property."

"Yes, sir," Harry agreed.

After explaining that he planned to have private lessons with Harry that year and that OWL results were expected later that day, Professor Dumbledore planned to take his leave.

"Professor," Harry said.

When the boy didn't continue, the older man turned to scrutinize his companion. "Yes, Harry?"

"Would it be possible for Kingsley to teach me some…self-defence?" Harry asked. "He talked to me at Christmas about the importance of being in shape and I've been working out. I was hoping maybe he would be willing to teach me…I don't know some fighting strategies or some self-defence."

"I can ask him," Professor Dumbledore said after a moment. "I can also ask Nymphadora if she would help."

"No!" Harry burst out. He blushed and repeated more softly. "No, I'd rather Kingsley if he would be willing."

"Okay," Professor Dumbledore agreed.

He led Harry to the door of the Burrow. Nymphadora Tonks was taking tea with Molly Weasley when they arrived. Albus noted that Nymphadora looked strikingly like her mother today. It was Harry's reaction that interested Albus. Harry gasped when he first saw her, but relaxed slightly when he realized who she was. Harry didn't address her at all and seemed nervous and ill at ease in her presence. Could Harry be developing a crush on the young Auror?

For her part, Nymphadora was rather cool towards the young man. Could something have happened? Albus knew that Nymphadora had been rather upset with Harry after the incident at the Ministry. She was mostly upset on Remus's account, but Albus thought she was perhaps blaming Harry for the whole incident rather than focusing on Voldemort or Bellatrix. With a sigh, he realized he would need to have another talk with both her and Remus.

Taking his leave, he left Harry at the Burrow with Molly Weasley fussing over him.

"Harry!"

Harry instinctively backed away from the voice calling his name and grabbed his glasses and wand off the night stand.

"Harry, it's just me," Hermione said in a rather injured tone of voice.

"Sorry, Hermione," he replied softly. He gritted his teeth and returned her hug. As with Mrs Weasley the night before, Harry found that he really didn't want to hug her. It made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

After a few moments, Ginny brought up Harry's breakfast tray. She smiled and breezily greeted him. For the first time since the incident, Harry smiled at a girl without blushing or feeling dirty. He didn't know what it was, but she was very warm and bright, the very opposite of Bellatrix, and she somehow made him feel comfortable.

"Thank you, Ginny."

"You're welcome," Ginny replied as she joined Hermione at the end of Harry's bed.

"I'm surprised you made it up here," Hermione said with a laugh.

Harry looked between the two girls as he ate his breakfast. What was going on?

Ginny laughed. "She and Mum were going back and forth on what was best, so I just brought it up. I didn't figure Harry would care if there was a flower on his tray."

Before he could ask what she meant, the door burst open and standing in the doorway was Fleur Delacour with Mrs Weasley hovering behind her.

"'Arry!" Fleur swooped in and kissed Harry on both cheeks. "I am zo 'appy to zee you."

"Fleur," Harry said rather dumbly. She was the last person he expected to see at the Burrow. He blushed slightly as she kissed him on the cheeks, but to his surprise she didn't bother him as much as Hermione or Mrs Weasley had. She wasn't as comforting as Ginny, but she didn't make him feel uncomfortable. He glanced around the room and found Ron staring at the young French witch while Hermione looked furious. Ginny seemed rather upset as well.

Harry nudged Ginny with his foot. She seemed surprised, but quickly recovered and smiled back at him.

Satisfied, he turned back to Fleur and said, "I didn't realize you were here."

"Beel wishes me to get to know his family," Fleur replied. "You have 'eard?"

Harry shook his head, he didn't really know what she was talking about. Fleur glared at the others in the room before she smiled at Harry. "Beel and I are getting married next year."

"Congratulations!" Harry said sincerely. He didn't see the big deal about the young woman, but if she made Bill happy that was a good thing.

Fleur beamed at him. "Zank you, 'Arry."

"Why don't we let Harry eat?" Mrs Weasley said.

The two older women left leaving Harry with his friends. Ron was staring at the door with a dreamy look on his face while Hermione glared at him. Shrugging off their odd reactions, Harry turned to Ginny. "How long has she been here?"

"A week," Ginny said in a disgruntled tone. "She seems to think I'm about three. Mum doesn't like her."

"Can you blame her?" Hermione bit out angrily. "Fleur is so full of herself."

Harry thought that was a rather strong statement, but he didn't want to get in a fight his first morning. "So what have you guys been doing?"

"I've been helping Fred and George in their shop," Ginny said. "I've earned lots of pocket money."

"Rub it in why don't you?" Ron said irritably.

"You had the same opportunity," Ginny said. "You could have worked for them, but you said you wanted to sleep in and play Quidditch."

"They could have used help later in the day," Ron replied.

Laughing Harry looked at his other best friend. "When did you get here?"

"Yesterday," Hermione replied. "My parents and I went to Spain on holiday. We had such a great time."

Harry finished his breakfast while he listened to Hermione talk about her holiday. She and her parents had travelled to Madrid and Barcelona. They had visited art museums, historical sites, and the beach. Harry listened with half an ear, but he was mostly watching his friends. He wasn't sure that Ron was even listening to her while Ginny was listening attentively and asking questions about what she'd seen and done.

Ron looked much the same to him, he might have grown another few inches, but he was the same old Ron. Hermione looked good; she was tanned from her travels and in good spirits. Ginny looked the most different, Harry had always been aware of her, but now he couldn't believe how beautiful she was. Her hair was a bit longer, it stretched half-way down her back and curled at the ends. Harry had long had a fascination with her hair – it was red, gold, copper, orange, and every shade in between. He couldn't help but notice she had grown in other ways, Ginny was definitely not a little girl anymore.

"You are so lucky," Ginny said. "I'd love to travel."

"Why?" Ron asked. "You have to eat weird food and get dragged around to look at all kinds of boring things. I always end up sun burned or something horrible. I'd much rather stay home."

Both girls shot him a look of annoyance. Ginny turned to Harry. "What about you?"

"What about me what?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Do you like to travel?"

"I think it would be great," Harry said. "I've never really been anywhere, but I'd love to travel."

Ginny beamed at him and Harry felt a warmth spread through him, warming him in a way he hadn't felt since before Bellatrix…he shut down that train of thought quickly and just enjoyed spending the morning with his friends.

The next two weeks were the best weeks of the summer for Harry. He slowly started to relax and feel more comfortable. Dobby had visited him on his first night at the Burrow and cast the same protective wards on the twins' old room where Harry was sleeping. That allowed Harry to relax. He'd even talked Dobby into casting a Silencing Spell on the room so he wouldn't wake anyone with his nightmares.

He continued his running, preferring to run in the mornings before his friends were up. He liked the cool quiet of the mornings out in the country. One morning two weeks after his arrival, Harry finished his run and work out and headed into the kitchen.

To his surprise, it was full. Even Ron was up although he didn't look overly happy about it. Ginny and Hermione were eating and talking. Mrs Weasley was at the stove cooking her normal big breakfast.

"Good morning," Harry said as he entered.

"Good morning," his friends replied.

Harry felt a bit embarrassed as he was rather sweaty from his work out. He knew his shirt was sticking to him. Using the towel he'd grabbed earlier, he wiped his face.

"What have you been doing?" Ron asked.

"Working out," Harry shrugged. When he realized that only Hermione understood what he'd meant, he explained, "I've been out running."

"Why?" Mrs Weasley asked in concern. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Harry hastened to reassure her. "It's something Kingsley recommended to keep in shape. It keeps you active and healthy."

"I read about that in one of the Quidditch journals," Ginny remarked. "Is it fun?"

Harry smiled. "I like it. Running kind of gives me time to…I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it gives me time to get my thoughts in order."

"Viktor says running is required for his team," Hermione said.

Harry bit back a groan as Ron predictably took the bait. Rather than listen to his friends fight yet again, he headed up to shower. When he came back, only Ginny was left in the kitchen. She was cleaning up, although Harry noticed a heaping plate waiting for him at the table.

She looked up and smiled. "Mum had some errands to run and Ron and Hermione are headed into town. I'm sure you can catch up with them."

Reluctantly Harry sat down at the table. He really wished Mrs Weasley wouldn't try to feed him so much, he really couldn't eat even half that much. He picked up some bacon and noticed that the toast was spread with his favourite strawberry jam. He snuck a look at Ginny. Somehow he got the idea that she was the one who prepared his toast. He liked that she knew his favourite jam.

"What are you going to do today?" Harry asked Ginny.

She sighed. "I have to work on my Muggle studies essay. We have to discuss four types of Muggle transportation and how they are used. Hermione tried to help me, but…I don't want to sound mean, but she just wanted to write it for me. I don't want her to write it for me, I want to learn it myself."

"I didn't realize you took Muggle studies," Harry said. "What kinds of transportation are you going to talk about?"

"Well, I figure I have to use aeroplanes as my dad is fascinated by them," Ginny said with a smile. "I'm also going to use a car, a motorcycle, and…what do you call those trains that go underground? A tube? We have to talk about them and we are supposed to have pictures of them."

"I can help," Harry said.

Ginny turned from the cupboard where she'd been putting the dishes away. She looked at Harry a bit strangely. "I figured you would be headed into town."

"I can't," he said simply. "Professor Dumbledore asked me to promise to stay here and not wander off your parents' property."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ginny said. "I'm sure if they'd known they would have stayed."

Harry shrugged, "If they are just going to be arguing about Krum all day I don't think I'm really missing anything."

Ginny giggled. Harry smiled, he liked making Ginny laugh or giggle. It was strange, when Lavender or Parvati started giggling he found it annoying, but Ginny's giggle wasn't annoying.

"I'm going to work out in the back garden," Ginny said. "If you would like to join me, you are more than welcome."

A few hours later, Harry was relaxing under the large willow tree at the edge of the garden while Ginny was working on her essay. He was surprised to find out how much he knew about different types of vehicles. He also had pictures. He had an old picture of Sirius' motorcycle in his photo album and he found one of Dudley's car magazines had gotten mixed in with his belongings. Ginny was fascinated by the magazine.

"I love how none of these pictures move," she said as she flipped through the magazine once again. "Dean tried to explain it to me, but it didn't make much sense."

Harry felt his smile slip. "Dean?"

"I saw him a bit when I was working for the twins," Ginny explained. She shrugged. "It was probably a good thing because we found out that we just don't work as a couple. I mean he's a nice guy and funny, but he's way too overprotective. I have six older brothers, I don't need an overprotective boyfriend as well."

Feeling more cheerful, Harry nodded in agreement.

"Does Dudley like cars?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know," Harry replied after thinking about for a minute. "He's not one of those guys who likes to work on cars or anything, but he wants Uncle Vernon to buy him the very best car for his seventeenth birthday."

"Isn't he your age?"

"Yes, I don't know why he has all of these magazines now unless he wants to impress some girl or something. Maybe he wants to impress his friends at school with how expensive a car his dad can buy him, I don't really know."

Ginny made a face. "He sounds kind of like Malfoy."

Harry started laughing. "You're right, I never really thought about that, but he is rather similar. They both try to bully their fathers into buying them the best of everything."

"You're sure it's okay if I cut one of these pictures out?" Ginny asked doubtfully as she looked at the glossy magazine. "It seems too nice to cut."

"I'm sure," Harry replied with a laugh. "I certainly don't care and Dudley didn't seem to notice it was missing so cut away."

"Thanks, Harry," she said with a smile. Harry felt a fluttering feeling in his stomach that he hadn't felt in months.

"You're welcome," he replied shyly returning the smile.

After deciding which picture to use, she got back to work on her essay. Harry lay down in the warm grass and closed his eyes. He still didn't get a whole lot of sleep at night and he was rather sleepy.

He woke a few hours later feeling warm and rather caught up on his sleep. Looking around he found Ginny was reading a book.

When he moved, she looked up with a teasing smile. "Hello, sleepyhead."

"Sorry," he blushed.

She nodded, but her face was more serious. "Having trouble sleeping?"

He started to deny it, he meant to deny it, but somehow he found himself agreeing. "I just keep dreaming about that night."

Chancing a look at her he found she didn't look at him like he needed to be fixed as Hermione sometimes did. He rather fancied that of all of his friends, Ginny knew the most about nightmares. "I can't believe I was so stupid."

"Can I tell you what my brother told me?" Ginny asked softly.

When he didn't object, she continued, "The summer after the Chamber of Secrets…I had a lot of nightmares. I felt so guilty for everyone getting petrified and almost getting you killed. I thought everyone would hate me for my mistakes and for getting mixed up with Riddle. Bill told me that I was fooled by a very evil wizard who was aided by other evil wizards. Yes, I could take some of the blame and learn from my mistake, but I also needed to forgive myself."

"But I got him killed," Harry whispered.

"No," Ginny said sharply. "You didn't. Your dream saved my father at Christmas and I am very, very glad for that. You didn't know that Tom would use those dreams. If Professor Dumbledore knew Tom might do that, he should have warned you. Sirius was not the kind of person to sit back if he thought you were in danger. He wouldn't have stayed away. Yes, you know not to believe all of your dreams, but it is Tom's fault for setting you up and it is Bellatrix's fault for killing Sirius."

Harry startled at the sound of her name and to his horror he felt tears prickling at his eyes. He blinked away the tears determinedly, but he hadn't counted on Ginny. She moved over next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened at first, but slowly relaxed in her hold.

"It's okay to miss him," she whispered.

"It's so hard," he replied softly with his voice cracking. "I want to talk to him or ask him things and I'm part of the reason he's not here."

Ginny hugged him tighter for a minute and Harry could have sworn he felt her brush a kiss on top of his head before she pulled away. "I miss Sirius as well. I obviously didn't know him as well as you did, but I talked to him a bit last summer. He loved hearing about you."

"Really?"

"Yes, he was thrilled to hear how you'd made the Quidditch team your first year."

Harry smiled sadly. "He snuck in to watch one of my matches during my third year. Scared me to death, I didn't know about him or anything, but Trelawney was going on about the grim and how I was going to die."

The spent an enjoyable afternoon talking about all sorts of things. Harry discovered that Ginny was a fan of the all-witch Quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies. However, he was careful to keep away from the topic of Bellatrix Lestrange. He didn't think he could bear it if Ginny found out about that.

The next morning was a rude wake up call for Harry. As he headed into the kitchen after his shower, he heard Ron's laughter.

"Ronald!" Hermione reprimanded him. "It is not funny."

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but come on. Guys getting raped? By a woman? That's ridiculous."

Harry froze. Had they somehow learned what had happened? He listened as Hermione started talking again.

"Ron, they reported at least ten men were raped by the Death Eaters. How can you think that is funny? You don't think there are spells that can force men to have sex against their will?"

"Come on, Hermione. No, I don't think so. A guy is going to react or not. If a guy reacts, he wants to have sex. How are these women overcoming them? They must be wimpy little men to be overcome by a woman."

A new voice broke in the conversation. "You are being immature and ridiculous, Ron."

It took a moment for Harry to recognize the voice as Bill's. Bill continued, "These men have been tortured by Death Eaters and then they are given potions to force them to react. They are forced to have sex with some horrible woman against their will. Can you imagine that, Ron?"

Harry listened hopefully, but felt that hope die when Ron burst into laughter. Harry turned and fled out the front door. He made his way to the edge of the back garden and sank down beneath the tree. If Ron felt this way, he was sure his other friends would see things that way as well.

He remembered how helpless he felt when he realized he couldn't move that night. Anger at Ron rose up in him. Ron had never felt so helpless so how could he make fun of someone who had? It had nothing to do with being a wimp or not being strong enough or fast enough. He dropped his head down into his hands. Is this what all of his friends were going to think?

Movement at the edge of the garden had Harry on his feet with his wand out. Kingsley Shacklebolt raised his hands to show he didn't have his wand out.

"Are you okay, Harry?"

Harry nodded as he lowered his wand. "Sorry, Kingsley."

"It's okay, kid," Kingsley smiled. "You have good reflexes."

He gestured for Harry to follow him and he led the way out towards the paddock where the Weasleys usually played Quidditch. The two took a seat under one of the apple trees ringing the field.

"Dumbledore told me that you are interested in learning self-defence," Kingsley said.

Harry nodded and Kingsley asked, "Why?"

Harry paused for a moment, he wasn't sure what to say to the man. He didn't know Kingsley very well, but he respected him. He didn't want to reveal his ordeal, but somehow knew it would be much easier to tell Kingsley than Dumbledore. On the other hand, Harry knew what might persuade the Auror.

"Kingsley, do you know about the prophecy?"

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. "I don't know the contents, I just know there is a prophecy regarding you and Voldemort."

Harry laughed humourlessly. "That's more than I knew. Professor Dumbledore wouldn't talk to me last year, at all. He avoided me because he didn't want Voldemort to suspect we had any type of relationship, but he never told me that. For most of last year, I thought maybe Dumbledore blamed me for Cedric's death or that he was mad at me because of all of the awful press. I didn't know.

"When I saw Mr Weasley bitten by the snake, no one bothered to tell me why they thought I was seeing through the snake's eyes. Professor Dumbledore just set me up with Occlumency lessons with Snape. I don't know why, Snape hates me. I mean he really, really hates me. Snape knew I was dreaming about the Department of Mysteries, but no one bothered to tell me what it was or that Voldemort might be trying to lure me there."

Harry picked a leaf up off the ground and started tearing it into pieces. "If I had known Voldemort was trying to use me to get to the prophecy, I would have behaved totally differently."

"I'm sorry, Harry," Kingsley said as he watched the younger man. "I didn't realize you were kept so much in the dark."

Harry nodded. "After…after we got back from the Ministry that night, he told me about the prophecy. Basically, it's me or Voldemort. I have to kill him."

"Damn," Kingsley swore softly. "I'm truly sorry to hear that, kid. Dumbledore told you that night?"

Harry nodded. "He said he didn't want to tell me sooner because he wanted me to have a childhood or some rubbish like that. He's always had spies on Privet Drive, he knows my relatives hate me. What kind of childhood does he think I've had?"

He looked over at the older man. "I know what I have to do and I will do whatever I can to make it happen, but I need help. We were lucky at the Ministry that the Death Eaters didn't want to break the prophecy or we probably all would have been killed. If I need to kill Voldemort, I'll need to learn how to fight."

Kingsley nodded thoughtfully. "You can fight, I saw enough of what happened that night to know you can fight. You can improve and I can help you with your spell casting and timing."

"You'll help?" Harry could hardly believe that the older man was willing to spend his time helping him.

"I'll help," Kingsley replied. "If it is alright with you I would like to ask Bill Weasley to assist as well. He's a great dueller and I think he could really help."

"Great," Harry said with a smile.

Standing and drawing his wand, Kingsley gestured for Harry to do the same. "I'm going to send stinging curses at you. I want you to move or jump or something to get out of the way. Understand?"

Almost before he finished speaking, Kingsley started casting spells. The first few spells caught Harry off guard, but soon he had a rhythm going and was able to avoid a majority of the spells. As soon as he felt he could do it, Kingsley started changing up the rhythm. Harry didn't mind, he would rather be stung with stinging curses dozens of times rather than be caught unaware.

Tonks sighed as she took Remus's almost full lunch tray back downstairs. She was very worried about him, he was taking Sirius's death very hard. Mentally she cursed Harry for the umpteenth time that summer. Why couldn't the kid have just checked with Snape?

She had just started cleaning the dishes when to her surprise, Albus Dumbledore arrived via the Floo. "Professor, I didn't expect to see you."

"I found myself with some extra time so I thought I'd drop by," the older wizard explained. "How is Remus?"

Tonks sighed. "He's still not eating well. I'm really worried about him."

Albus nodded. "I would like to speak with him before I leave."

After putting away the newly cleaned dishes, Tonks joined the headmaster at the large wooden table. "I would really appreciate that."

"Actually, I came to talk to you."

"Me?" Tonks laughed slightly nervously. "Why?"

"I've been reviewing the records from this summer and I discovered something that is troubling to me," Albus said gravely. He levelled his eyes at her. "It seems that you have been rather remiss in your guard duties."

Tonks shrugged. "I checked on him several times a day. He would go jogging in the park or he was home with his relatives. I was worried about Remus and didn't want to leave him for hours at a time to watch a boy who…."

Albus raised an eyebrow at her. "A boy who what?"

"He got Sirius killed," Tonks burst out. "He was careless and his carelessness cost Sirius his life, robbed Remus of his best friend, and landed me in St Mungos. He had a two-way mirror; he could have used that to contact Sirius, but he never did."

"I don't know why he didn't use his mirror," Albus said after a moment, "but Harry is not to blame. I didn't explain to Harry that I thought Voldemort might be trying to lure him to the Department of Mysteries. I hadn't expected to have to leave Hogwarts and I deserve some of the blame, but I believe that Voldemort and Bellatrix deserve a lion's share of the blame."

Tonks deflated and shrank back in her chair. She didn't know that she was convinced that Harry didn't deserve some of the blame, but she did feel badly for not fulfilling her duties. "I know you're probably right, but…I'm sorry, sir. Remus isn't upset with Harry and he's told me that Sirius would never blame Harry. My mum's even told me I'm wrong in blaming him. I checked in on him from a distance, but I didn't stand guard duty like I should have. I was angry and resentful and I didn't take my responsibilities seriously."

"Thank you for telling me," Albus said.

"Did something happen?" Tonks asked anxiously. Part of the reason she didn't worry about the guard duty was it seemed very difficult for anyone to get to Harry. The wards and protections around the house really should have been more than sufficient.

"I don't believe so," Albus said. He studied her for a moment. "Have you talked to Harry at all this summer?"

She shook her head. "No, why?"

"He seemed to have an odd reaction to you," Albus explained. "I thought perhaps he'd tried flirting with you."

"No," she shook her head. "I've not talked to him or even gotten that vibe from him. Maybe it was just seeing a girl, Ron's reacted to me once or twice. Don't worry, Fleur is there, she'll attract his attention."

"Thank you for your honesty," he said. "Please, the next time you have a problem with your duties, talk to me instead of shirking your duties."

"Yes, sir," Tonks said bashfully. "I promise, I will."