Another strange one off that created based off an strange conversation I had with my friend.

I question our sanity.

Anyway I hope you like it

I don't own Hetalia.

National Geographic: Country style

It was amazing how quickly a meeting could spiral out of control. Yet England wasn't amazed. The blonde country was watching with a bored expression as the other nations were attempting to kill each other.
Usually the island nation would have been dragged into the chaos, one way or another, but today he sat quietly in his seat. It was most likely due to him sitting in between two calm countries that rarely got involved in fights, on his right was Japan whereas on his left was...was…. The country that looked a lot like America.
Germany had decided to create a seating plan in aim to stop the countries fighting. It worked to a certain extent, as England wasn't strangling France, and Russia wasn't scaring the Baltic nations.

However, the Frenchman had just turned his attention to the new country sitting next to him, which happened to be Liechtenstein. This had led to the, self-declared, country of love trying to hit on the female nation, only for Switzerland to pull out his rather large collection of guns and aim them at the Frenchman. Rather poor planning on the German's part, but Germany had assumed that the French nation had more sense than to flirt with the trigger happy nation's sister. Sadly he didn't.

England wasn't sure as to why he thought the scene in front of him looked a lot like a nature program, maybe it was due England having recently spoken to David Attenborough, but he smiled at the thought.

"Here we can see the various different countries interacting with each other, in their natural habitat." The blonde spoke mainly to himself in a low whisper, as if; if he talked any louder he could frighten away an animal.

Besides him Canada chuckled softly, burying his face into his bear.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada."

On the other side of the Brit, a smile tugged at Japan's lips. The Asian nation silently pulled out his trusty video camera, which he always had on him, and started filming the scene in front of him. He leaned slightly closer to England, insuring that he could catch everything that the European nation said.

"Here, we have the Perverted Frogicus, which appears to be preforming its mating ritual as it approaches one of the Pasta Gits. Pasta Gits tend to travel in pairs and have opposite personalities to one another. Let's watch the Perverted Frogicus' inevitable failure in its attempt to court the grumpy one of the Pasta Gits." England continued in the same tone, smiling as he watched France make his way over to Romano. Japan's camera followed the Frenchman as he homed in on his prey. Hiding a smile behind his camera, Japan videoed the Frenchman get yelled at by the Italian.

"*Watch the Pasta Git's face turn bright red as it fends off the Perverted Frogicus. The distressed cries of the young nation have alerted the Failious Pirateous to the Preverted Frogicus attempts to mate.

"It is a well-known fact that the Failious Pirateous is a quite idiotic nation, often clueless as to what is going on. It talks mainly about tomatoes, which also make up the majority of its diet. The Mediterranean country is usually a cheerful creature, however, it can become particularly dangerous when one of the Pasta Gits feels threatened."

England smiled into the palm his chin was rested in, his elbow propped up on the table. The Briton's eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement as Spain started swinging his axe at France, telling the later to not touch his 'tomato'.

Prussia came thundering over to the other European countries, laughing like a maniac as he had just escaped Hungary. The Albino started to calm down the angry Spaniard, laughing the whole time.

"Here is the rare albino ex-nation, Teutonic Wanker. This rare specimen has a distinctive laugh and can only say the word 'awesome'. This creature's diet mainly consists of beer and wurst, but has been known to eat food created by the Pasta Gits.

We are currently witnessing a situation which occurs frequently, where the Teutonic Wanker thwarts the Failious Pirateous attempts to kill the Perverted Frogicous. These three creatures are often seen together and create havoc in the jungle, also known as The World Conference. It would be wise to stay away when these nations are together unless you wish to be a victim of their pranks."

England's attention now fell upon Italy, who had just run across the room sobbing. The small nation jumped at Germany, who automatically caught the Italian. The brunette started crying to the German, saying that Russia was creepy, which caused the tall blonde to sigh.

"The other Pasta Git has been spooked and has sought comfort in the Stickuphisarseicus. The stronger creature has adapted to be immune to the smaller one's idiocy, and is one of few that can stay around the nation for a large amount of time.

"Like the Teutonic Wanker, the Stickuphisarseicus mainly consumes beer and wurst. However, unlike its brother, it is not a creature that executes pranks, but is one to stop them. This creature appears to have one emotion - rage, and is considered to be one of the loudest creatures. Watch as it demonstrates how loud he can be as he tries to tame the others in the jungle."

England fell quiet when Germany's gaze turned to the island nation. England and the nations next to him were the only ones in the room trying not to laugh, catching the German nation's attention.
England was known to sometimes laugh during a meeting, the other assumed that it had something to do with his 'fairy friends', but for Japan to be struggling not to laugh, that was somewhat worrisome. The fact that Japan had a video camera out worried the blonde even more.

Now that the other countries had calmed down, the meeting continued. Once Germany finished his speech, he sat down, allowing America to start his. The young nation got about 5 minutes into his speech before England continued with his commentary.

"Here is the Stupidius heroius. This is an extremely loud creature which constantly shouts 'hero', even when it's not an appropriate time. As you can see, this nation has an inability to speak correctly, often making up words. This creature cannot sense the mood, often resulting in it saying something idiotic and inappropriate. This frequently angers other nations, which can lead to arguments and other shows of dominance.

"The Stupidius heroius diet consists of mainly hamburgers and fizzy drinks. This is primarily so it can put on weight for when it hibernates during the winter. When winter approaches, the Stupidius heroius will hide under heaps of covers and only leave the safety of its room come Christmas and New Year.

"Watch as it gobbles down dozens of artery clogging burgers down its throat while trying to communicate with the other creatures of the jungle. Sensing that the other nations are unable to understand him, the Stupidius heroius changes its approach.

"Unfortunately for Stupidius heroius, the burger meat has replaced its brain. The creature is not aware that the others are also unable to understand it as it slurps its fizzy drink.

"Oh, it seems to have spotted us watching it as the Stupidius heroius has stopped drinking and turned its attention to us. I am going to attempt to communicate with the creature."

England gave Japan a sly smile as America stopped his speech and addressed the Brit. Beside England, Canada was struggling to breathe, his face buried deep in his bear's fur.

"Yo Iggy, isn't it like rude to talk when someone else is talking? I thought you was a gentleman or some shit. Talking to your imaginary friends again?" America frowned at the smaller nation, not happy at all that England wasn't listening to the hero. He was giving some awesome speech on how to save the world from global warming, by putting all cows into plastic bubble.

"No, I wasn't talking to my fairy friends, thank you very much. They are currently busy tidying my house which you wrecked last right when you decided to pop in. I was, in fact, talking to Japan if you must now, on how much of an idiot you are."

Japan had put his camera away, once America had started to talk to the Englishman. The Asian gave England a small smile, which America missed. Japan resumed his emotionless mask as he faced the angry American.

"It is true America san, England san was talking to me but it was on the current subject."

America stared at the two nations, seeing if what Japan was telling the truth. Seeing that they both remained expressionless the American carried on with his speech, deciding that he would just bug the hell out Iggy later.

Once America turned his back, Japan brought back out his camera and pointed it to England. England faced the camera, America in the background of the shot. "There we have it. Please join us next time where we will discuss the other nations of the jungle known as The World Meeting Conference."

Japan smiled as he turned the camera off, wondering what countries England would 'study' next. The Japanese man was glad that Germany had changed the seating plan now; maybe he could make England talk about China or Russia next time.

Canada had passed out from laughing so much, but no one seemed to of noticed.

Thus end my insanity.

Japan, I want a copy of that video

...Yeah I might do another version of this I i can think of a how to do this.

Hope you liked it