Sebastian could tell that Ciel had something on his mind. This did not surprise him after the evening they had just passed. The fight with the Trancy brat's demon servants and the information about the Trancy's investigating his father must be wearing on him. While the information had been falsified by Sebastian himself, he knew that it disturbed the boy. That was not the problem though, he was sure of it. As he observed Ciel's face across the space of the carriage he did not think his heavy brow was due to the new targets of his revenge.

His slender body was still shaking slightly beneath his pirate's garb, there was a very fine sheen of sweat on his face, and Sebastian deduced that his hands must be chilled by the way he kept flexing and curling his fingers, over and over. The boy was experiencing terrible aftershock from the entire evening where he sat, trying to look completely normal. Despite this physical reaction, Sebastian sensed an emotional state of trauma as well. While there were so many factors that attributed to his state Sebastian wanted to pinpoint a single cause to explain both conditions.

If Sebastian had to guess he would think that Ciel was truly shaken by the fear of almost losing an entire roomful of people that he cared for even though he wouldn't admit it. While Ciel remained a mystery to him at times, his emotions were easier to guess now after all this time, as opposed to when they first met.

"Master? Are you quite alright?" Sebastian asked gently, not wanting to aggravate the boy too much.

"Hmm…" Ciel replied, still frowning out the window at the dark shapes of the trees passing by.

"Ah." Sebastian said knowingly, leaning back against the seat.

"'Ah' what?" Ciel asked, never taking his eyes off the dark scenery, "How is it that you made that sound as if you discovered something, when I didn't even say a word?"

His tone was almost forcefully bored, as if he truly didn't care. Sebastian smiled though as he recognized that tone as one Ciel used to cover the emotion that might creep into his words.

"Well, I just realized that you didn't even try to convince me that you were perfectly fine, like you normally do, my lord."

Ciel went the extra mile to roll his eyes in order to pretend he couldn't care less what Sebastian had to say.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That I always know you are not."

Ciel's face fell even further, leaving his bored front behind. They sat in silence for a good half-mile before it was broken.

"If you know so much…" Ciel began, "Then tell me what you think is wrong with me."

Sebastian grinned and closed his eyes.

"Do you really want me to list all of the flaws I find in you, young lord?" He asked cheerfully.

"Oh go to hell," Ciel said wearily, "You know what I meant. Now answer my question."

Sebastian opened his eyes, but his smile remained.

"As you wish, my lord. You see…I think you are affected by the threat that was made on your friends' lives. Whether you admit it or not, I think it shook you to come so close to losing essentially everyone in your life whom you hold dear."

Ciel listened to him in silence, and that silence stretched out after Sebastian stopped speaking. Ciel began blinking more often than he normally did, and Sebastian also noted that his breathing had increased. Only he could pick up on these subtle changes and know exactly what they meant; he had hit home. No matter how Ciel protested, he had been exactly right.

Ciel finally spoke, and his voice was extremely soft and controlled.

"You're wrong. It…it wasn't them that…"

Ciel snapped his jaw shut on the sentence, the muscles in his neck working as if he were trying to swallow down the words he almost spoke.

"Don't tell me that you truly didn't care whether that demoness would kill them all. Bard, Mayrin, Finny…your fiancé? Did their lives mean that little to you?"

"You misunderstand me…" Ciel said quickly, his eyes finally leaving the window and glaring seriously straight at Sebastian. "Of course I cared. But I knew I didn't have to worry because I had you with me. I knew you'd find a way to save them. Their lives were never in any danger."

Sebastian was slightly confused now. Ciel was telling the truth, he was sure of it. But then…what was bothering him? What was causing his pain?

"If that is the case, my lord," Sebastian began very slowly, careful to modify his tone to assure Ciel he was serious and not mocking him as he did sometimes, "then what frightened you?"

Ciel's breath hitched and his visible eye showed that he was recalling that fear as if it were right before him.

"Don't lie to me, my lord, and tell me that you weren't frightened. I can sense it in you. Something, at some point, frightened you enough to leave you shaking now."

Ciel swallowed, his face transparent like it was on very rare occasions when his emotions were high enough to break his mask. His breathing increased noticeably, his chest rising and falling as he held his butler's gaze.

Sebastian leaned forward, and slowly reached out across the space between them to slip off his eyes patch. He let his hand linger on Ciel's cheek, feeling the need to touch him. Claude's comments about 'handling' Ciel had set fire in his veins and he felt he wanted to erase any memory of Claude's hands from the boy's skin and imprint himself there instead.

"Tell me, my young lord. Tell me what you're feeling."

A silent battle raged between their eyes for a time, bright blue and flaming red staring into one another until Ciel's began to pool with tears. Sebastian was almost taken aback. The last time he had seen Ciel's eyes like that Aberline was lying in a pool of his own blood, dead on the deck of Lau's ship. Ciel took a great shuddering breath and said,

"When you said you needed to speak with Claude, I knew what you really meant." Sebastian slipped out of his seat and knelt before the young earl, taking both of his hands in his own, eager to listen now that he was speaking.

"I knew you two would battle. I was confident that you would win. You never lose."

Ciel was looking straight into Sebastian's eyes the entire time he spoke, the sincerity in them touching Sebastian. He seemed almost lost as he spoke, unable to even recognize what it was that had happened to him.

"Ten minutes, that's what I said right? And I knew you'd be back by then, and Claude would not. I knew it, Sebastian. My faith in you is all I have to cling to in this world, it's all I have to guide me to my last steps in accomplishing my goals."

Ciel licked his lips, blinking a few times as tears welled up from his eyes and began to trickle out. Sebastian was watching him intently, almost hanging now on every word. He was beginning to understand, but he needed to hear Ciel finish what he was trying to say.

"I was waiting for you to come back. I was just sipping my drink, completely confident that you would return any moment. And then…then…" Ciel gulped, sniffing a bit before his brow retracted and his lips curled slightly in disgust. "Then he was there. Claude returned instead, standing right beside Alois like nothing had happened! Do you know what I thought at that moment, Sebastian?!"

He didn't wait for an answer as he yanked one of his hands from the demon's and swiped at his eyes angrily.

"I…I thought you were dead! I thought that bastard had killed you!"

Sebastian's heart constricted. He had not even considered that. Of course, it all made sense now. For an instant, however brief, Ciel's world had been shattered by thinking that Sebastian was no longer with him. Did not Sebastian himself know what that was like?

"In the split second before I realized I was wrong I felt completely lost." Ciel went on, his voice crumbling the longer he spoke. "I was paralyzed. I literally couldn't move a muscle even if a gun were aimed right at my head. I really can't…I can't explain it I just…it was like every fiber of my being had been….I don't know…shocked at once. As if my very life was going to end."

He stopped talking and began wiping his eyes in earnest, angry with himself for displaying such emotion. Sebastian reach up and tenderly helped him wipe the tears from beneath his eyes. Ciel was now looking everywhere but at his butler, and Sebastian wanted those eyes to stare into his own once more.

"Young master…" He said softly, "I am right here."

Such simple words, and yet they affected Ciel greatly. He let his watery eyes meet Sebastian's once more, his expression trying to settle itself into one of indifference, and failing.

"And…and will you stay here?" He asked, the helplessness in his small, broken voice enough to make Sebastian's own eyes yearn to water.

"Until the very end, my lord." Sebastian answered, and did something he had wanted to do for years; he drew Ciel's face down toward him and placed a kiss ever so softly on his lips.

Ciel drew in a quick breath, but before he could say anything the carriage slowed down, and Sebastian slipped back into his own seat.

"We're back, young master. You should go to bed at once, you've had an extremely trying day."

Ciel just sat and stared at Sebastian like he couldn't believe what had just happened. He didn't look angry, simply stunned.

"Se-Sebastian…" He said, as if only wanting to speak his name. The carriage pulled up in front of the house and Sebastian held open the door for Ciel, who wordlessly descended and then began climbing the stairs into the manor.

Ciel almost seemed numb as they went through the old, familiar rhythm of undressing and then dressing him for bed. Finally when Sebastian was sliding the covers over him Ciel took his hand to stop him.

"Sebastian…you…did something in the carriage that I…I liked…" He said hesitantly. "Tell me why."

"Are you sure you want me to-"

"You're the one who somehow made me spill my guts about exactly what I was feeling!" Ciel shot at him, "I think turnabout is fair play, don't you?"

Sebastian smiled.

"In that case, may I sit?"

Ciel nodded and Sebastian sat on the edge of the bed.

"There are a few different reasons why I…kissed you." He said, and Ciel's cheeks flushed slightly. "I suppose the main reason is because…Claude…"

"Claude? What does he have to do with anything?" Ciel asked, confused.

"It is complicated, young master, but to put it simply, Claude…finds you a bit fascinating."

Ciel raised an eyebrow, looking amused.

"That golden-eyed spider demon finds me fascinating? Don't be absurd!"

"I never lie, master." Sebastian said with conviction, his expression slightly annoyed. Ciel shut his mouth and waited for his butler to continue.

"This evening during our battle he expressed his interest in you. By interest I mean…his desire for you, my lord. I believe you're old enough to understand what that means."

Ciel's face was confused for a second before understanding dawned on him and his eyes widened. He leaned upward and off the bed as he began talking quickly, urgently.

"Sebastian, you won't ever let that devil near me, do you hear? That's an order!"

"Relax, master," Sebastian said, pleased with Ciel's revulsion. "I will never let that happen. But that is why I did what I did in the carriage. I wanted to somehow make my mark on you…show you and Claude that you are…in a sense…mine."

Ciel did relax back onto the mattress, eyes moving back and forth slightly as he thought hard.

"So you were jealous." He stated, a glow of pride entering his face as he smiled slyly.

"Yes, master."

"I'm glad to hear that." Ciel said, "I am worthy of being the object of your jealousy."

Sebastian grinned.

"That's my master, proud to the end." He reached out and touched Ciel's face just as he had in the carriage, willing to see what Ciel would make of it. The boy's glow disappeared, and his expression became serious again.

"Sebastian…could you..?" He lifted one slender hand and placed it on the side of Sebastian's head, threading his fingers through the soft, black hair. He then tugged slightly, and Sebastian let that hand pull him down into a soft, exploratory kiss.

"Stay with me," Ciel whispered against his mouth, his slender body shaking again from head to toe. "Make me believe that you really are here."

"Indeed, my lord." Sebastian replied, and slipped out of his shoes, and his jacket. Ciel watched him, curious, and then understood as Sebastian removed his vest as well, and even unbuttoned a few of his shirt buttons. Ciel had never seen him quite like this.

"Take off the gloves, too." He said quietly, and Sebastian did so. Then he climbed onto the bed to kneel in the very center of it.

"Come here, master." He said, holding out one bare, black-nailed hand. Ciel took it and followed its lead to kneel as well, directly in front of his butler.

Sebastian took his hand and placed it in the very center of his chest. Ciel's nerves sang as his fingers were pressed between the warm flesh of chest and hand, feeling the heart beating steadily. Sebastian then took his other hand and placed it against the side of his face, where he turned his head to kiss the small palm.

"I am here, master. I am warm and alive, and completely yours."

Ciel's breathing had increased again, and he suddenly moved forward to press his head against Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian slid his arms around the boy, holding him close. Ciel's own arms went around him a bit shakily, unsure of themselves. His slender hands began running over Sebastian's shoulders and back, and as they continued to verify that Sebastian was most definitely there with him, they gained confidence and began to stroke more deliberately.

"My dear master…" Sebastian whispered into his hair, cradling his head and beginning to kiss his temples and forehead. "I promise that I will never leave you alone again."

"Again?" Ciel asked, innocently enough. Sebastian quickly saved his slip up by saying,

"You felt alone when you thought I was dead, did you not?"

Ciel bit his lip and nodded, pressed his face into the side of Sebastian's neck.

"Well, I will never let you feel that way again."

Sebastian leaned forward so far that Ciel had to slide onto his back, letting Sebastian lay him down. And then Sebastian was kissing him.

Soft, sweet kisses that made Ciel's heart jump again and again. Sebastian was running his hands along his shoulders and his sides, sending thrills all through him. He had not foreseen them doing this, ever, but it felt so incredibly right at this moment that he couldn't believe he had not thought of it before.

Having Sebastian with him, so close, and so alive, was also affecting him very deeply. He had thought he had lost him. He had thought he was alone…

"Hmm…that's…hmmm…nice." Ciel murmured as Sebastian began groping him beneath his nightshirt, his big hands so warm on his chest and stomach.

"Let me show you more, my lord." Sebastian breathed into his ear, his tongue darting out to slide along the lobe and then the shell. Ciel gasped, feeling the sensation shoot straight down into his groin. He was getting hard so fast his head was almost spinning. And Sebastian had only been so gentle to him…

"Please, Sebastian…" He gasped as the demon latched onto his ear and began to suck. "Don't stop…"

"Is that an order?"

Sebastian drew back to ask. Ciel frowned slightly at him and then arched suddenly into his hands as he rubbed his left nipple, crying out.

"Ah, I'll take that as a 'yes'."