Last Tango in Halifax | Building on the Ruins

Celia and Alan had decided on a quiet ceremony in the chapel at Caroline's school. Even prior to Alan's heart attack, neither of them had been keen on the idea of having ghosts as guests at their wedding, but as he'd recovered in hospital Celia had made her intentions clear; something simple for family and friends, and a drink back at Gillian's farm afterwards.

Since her falling out with her mother over Kate, Caroline had felt a renewed closeness to Celia, and she was delighted that she'd found happiness with a lovely man. It sounded, to use one of Lawrence's words, cringey, but Caroline felt as though she'd gained a new family too. After their original bad start, Caroline and Gillian had grown close, and Raff was well-mannered and got on well with her own sons too.

All in all, with John out of the way and a perfect partner in Kate, Caroline was more settled and content with her life than she had been for a long time.

Kate's arm brushed hers as she fiddled with the service sheet. Caroline tried to catch her eye but Kate continued to look studiously down at the booklet. It was understandable that she was nervous, Caroline thought, given that the chapel was filled (not as quiet as Celia had planned, apparently) with people who might potentially be hostile about their relationship. It was funny that Caroline had originally been the cautious one, and now she wanted to shout about Kate from the rooftops. She'd spent too long denying her sexuality.

"You ready for the Queen of Sheba, then?"

Kate nodded. "I should go and get the organ ready, actually. See you after."

"Good luck."

Caroline had heard Kate play the piano before, one night after school, when she'd promised to come and find her after a meeting with Gavin that had dragged on. Kate had been engrossed in her music, her hands flying over the keys like they were free from her body, free from the hassle of life. She hadn't realised Caroline was behind her until she'd laid a hand on her shoulder.

"That was magnificent. You're magnificent," she'd whispered.

Kate had shuffled along the piano stool and taught Caroline to play Three Blind Mice, an activity which had caused hysteria because of how uncoordinated Caroline was.

"I'll stick to chemistry."

"Bonne idée," Kate had said, still struggling to regain her composure. Caroline had thrown a sheet at her, for being so clever and so beautiful and so smug.

"Look at Gran," William nudged her now.

Caroline stood up to admire her mother, who was hovering by the entrance, "Oh, Mum, you look beautiful."

"I thought it was the bride who was supposed to arrive late."

"You know what they're like. I'm sure he'll be here in a minute."

Celia was wearing a white dress with a white bow around the waist, and a white veil in her hair, which she'd thrown back over her grey hair to reveal a soft face and warm eyes filled with excitement and trepidation.

"He'd better not be drunk."

"He's probably got his feet up at home reading the Guardian whilst Harry tries to find his bow tie or something."

Celia smiled, happy to play along and calm her nerves, "I'm really going to have to convert him to the Daily Mail, aren't I?"

"Really, Mum, you look lovely."

"So do you. And just look at you two," she held out her arms to William and Lawrence, "Very dapper, you– Alan."

He strode up the aisle, if anything looking more healthy than he had done before the heart attack. Although his walk was slightly faltering, his face was smoother, as though it had grown younger with happiness, and he looked slim in his suit. There was a white carnation tucked into his button hole which matched her dress exactly; they looked a wonderful couple, and Caroline allowed herself to feel proud of them both, and of her sons, and of herself too.

Gillian rushed across, looking surprisingly dolled-up in her lilac dress too, a world away from the farm. Her lips looked as though they might split with the strain she was causing them by smiling so widely. "Dad, Celia, you both look perfect."

The vicar coughed, and Alan raised his eyebrows at Celia, "Come on, you, or we'll be in trouble again."

Caroline surprised herself by having to wipe her eyes several times during the service. She very rarely cried – as a rule, didn't allow herself to cry – but today she was so happy she felt she didn't need to uphold the emotional barriers any more. She held William to her on one side, and Lawrence on the other, her eyes filling with fresh tears as the vicar announced that they could now kiss.

She couldn't see anything in the world that could possibly go wrong with this moment. Her family hadn't always been lucky in the past, and neither had Gillian's, but they could make up for it now. She couldn't believe the happiness that was coursing through her, so concentrated that it felt strange to admit even to herself how delighted she was that everything was finally okay.

She was rooting through her handbag for a new tissue when William nudged her, and she became aware that a hush had fallen over the congregation. Her immediate thought was Alan, but she could see that he was standing beside Celia as he had been, his arm around her and his chin nestled in her hair, both of them facing the organ loft.

Caroline looked up and saw that Kate had abandoned the organ seat and was now rushing down the stairs. In the silence that had fallen, she could hear the muffled sobs that she was making, she could see the way that she was stumbling on the stairs in her heels, very nearly tumbling down the last couple in her rush to get outside. She didn't look back before she ran out.

"I don't–" Caroline trailed off, realising how bizarre her voice sounded. The tears were frozen on her cheeks, as though they were considering changing from tears of happiness to something else.

"I think she's upset, love," Celia said quietly, "Maybe you should go after her. It's alright, we're pretty much done here, aren't we, Alan?"

Caroline nodded and left the chapel, aware of the trail of eyes lighting her way with their blazing inquisitiveness. It didn't take her long to find Kate, who was slumped against the wall a couple of metres along the corridor with her head against her knees, her sobs shaking her.

She sat down beside her, crossing her legs, realising she was probably a bit old for this position now. She reached out and laid a hand on Kate's; the hand beneath hers was pulled away hastily.

"Oh, Kate," she said softly, "What's wrong?"

It hurt her to see Kate suffering, she realised. It hurt like it did when William had been bullied, and when Lawrence had fallen on his ankle last week and tears had come to his eyes. It also hurt her that Kate wasn't letting her in. She supposed this was going to be a monologue.

"It's a little bit like déjà vu, this. I remember when I was sitting on the floor in my office crying. And you were there for me then, Kate, so I'm going to be here for you now, even though I don't know what's wrong. Even if you don't want to tell me, I'll be here for you."

"Just– go back to your– your mum."

"So much has changed since then. I don't just feel like the black clouds had lifted now; I feel like they've been replaced by those fluffy clouds you get in the middle of summer. And that's because of you. I know it's not always going to be easy, us being like this, but would it be fun if it was easy, hey? The boys love you. My mum is so happy with Alan, bless her. Everything's fine, Kate."

"Just–" Kate's voice was smothered with sobs.

"I can't make it better if you don't tell me." Once a head teacher, always a head teacher. She pulled Kate to her, and this time her girlfriend didn't try to move away, but sobbed into Caroline's dress instead. Caroline found herself wondering how difficult it would be to remove mascara stains from coral silk as she stroked Kate's hair like she was a child. "What's happened, Kate? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so selfish, I've ruined it."

"Of course you haven't, nothing can ruin it for them. They've got each other," she said, "And you've got me. Which may not be much of a consolation, but–"

Kate half-laughed, "No, it is, it is."

"Look. Je aime tu."

"Je t'aime."

"I was nearly right," Caroline rocked Kate gently.

"It's just– I don't know, I'm happy too."

"You don't seem it."

"No, it's just seeing your mum, and Alan. It just makes me think of my dad, and of what's happening to him. Celia and Alan are so happy, and he's so sad– well, he's not sad, he doesn't even understand what's happening to him any more. It's like watching him die a little bit more every week, it makes me feel sick, and I can't do anything to help him, can I? I've told him about you, I want him to know that I'm happy with you, so he knows he's not– he's not failed, but he just looks straight through me, I just–"

"Oh, Kate. I'm sorry."

Kate just sniffed into Caroline's chest, and it was so far from what Caroline had come to expect, so different from the flirty Kate she knew, the one who was so dependable and kind and loyal, that she wanted to cry too.

"I'm sorry," she said again, and there didn't seem much more to say, so she just kissed Kate's hair and held her and whispered soft nothings, and wished she could do something.

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Please review if you have a spare moment, I'd love to know what anyone thought. I'll probably write a second chapter at some point, if I can fit it in around revision x