Disclaimer: I don't own this show hmph.

Songs (in order of line appearance): Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran, Faster by Matt Nathanson, Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran

Warnings: This is worse than what I usually write. Just all around bad examples of how not to live your life. It isn't really M rated but it's a very heavy T. But also, children, do not do what they do. Don't sleep over at your boyfriend's house. Bad. Don't smoke, don't drink underage and don't sleep around. Got it? Very very very heavy T. Seriously. Heavier T than my normal stuff. This was written really early in the morning when I was super tired from a long day so ignore any awfulness this may hold.

Notes: Um yeah just an AN at the bottom...hm.

This is just really, really, really AU. Literally the most AU thing ever I'm not even kidding here.

Worked on this for ages...

This is dedicated to xXDemiFanForeverXx for making me keep writing and because she's just my favorite person :) And for Emily and KR Blake, who have now seen my face teehee.

/ /

"The symbolism of the motifs in Jane Eyre are quite significant. For one, the bird, and the representation of not being free, of wishing to be free. Fire and Ice, the ultimate clashing of opposites, but in some cases, work together in harmony. For another, the constant dreaming, and with that the dreams of a small child, indicating foreshadowing-"

Ally hears tapping on her window and shakes her head, clearing it of all AP British Novel thoughts. Walking slowly over to her window, she's not at all surprised to see a familiar blonde boy standing on the grass below, not shivering despite the cooler night air.

She quickly scans her room- as if her parents would be there, they're never even home- and opens the window. "You could have broken the glass," She scolds, referring to the heavier stones he holds in his hand. "Bad boy."

And he is, a bad boy that is. He wears a ridiculous leather jacket that she tells him looks stupid (even though she secretly finds it attractive.) And he already has tatoos (even though he isn't quite at the legal age yet, but that stays quiet.) And he drives his fancy car too fast down narrow dead-end roads and he has dangerous friends (who aren't that dangerous. They aren't axe-murderers or something. Just...not very clean cut. But people stay quiet.) And he has money (well, his parents') that he blows on stupid stuff (usually to get their attention. But lately, for Ally.) And he's fast and reckless and a little bit mischevious. (And smart and funny and sexy and kind, but Ally keeps quiet about that one as well.) So all in all, he really is a bad boy. (Even if he's very very much a good boy.)

"I wouldn't have broken your glass," He calls up, quietly, just in case. (And she knows he wouldn't have. He, among many other things, has very good aim.) "Will you let me up now?"

"I have half a mind to make you scale the wall and climb up yourself," She retorts, crinkling her nose down at him, feeling a bit like she's in a cheesy romantic comedy or Shakespeare story. (Except she hopes this one isn't a tragedy.) "Throwing rocks, so hard like that."

"Fine," He snorts, and moves back to take a running leap. She panicks, thinking he'll run into the wall and gain himself a concussion or bruises or broken bones of some kind, and somehow, it'll be all her fault.

"Wait!" She yells, vanishing into her closet for a minute. "Okay, hang on." She throws down the rope ladder they nicked from the neighbor's old treehouse. (They don't use it anymore, their daughters and sons now have their own daughters and sons.)

"There, you crazy boy," She calls down as he climbs up. "Honestly, you're-"

She never does get to finish her sentence, because he's in her room and tackling her to the ground as soon as possible.

"Hi," He murmurs softly, and she giggles at the contrast; how he can be so hard and sharp one minute and a compliant, cuddly, softie the next.

"Hi," She murmurs back, muffled against his collarbone. (Which she'd never admit, she has a thing for.) "Missed you."

"Missed you too," He whispers into her hair, stretching his legs out so they're both more comfortable; she does, after all, enjoy using him as a pillow from time to time. (Or all the time, but that stays quiet.)

"Wanted to come sit with you at lunch today," He mumbles again, grabbing her (tiny, so tiny) hand to squeeze it gently.

"You should have," She mutters, suddenly more cross with him than before.

"You're the one who told me we had to keep this secret!" He not-quite yells. "You're the one who doesn't want people to know-"

"Austin, please," She whimpers, loosening out of his grasp, not quite scared, but not exactly feeling secure in his arms anymore. "Don't."

"Sorry," He apologizes when he notices he's not holding her anymore. "Sorry. Ally, I didn't mean- shit. Did I scare you again?" He asks softly, reaching for her (tiny) hand with his (extremely large) own.

"A little," She admits quietly, hiding her burning face in his shoulder as he grabs her tightly. "Sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize," He says quickly, sitting up straight against the desk. "It's not your fault!"

"It is though," She mutters. "It's been my fault since I told you we couldn't tell anyone."

"I understand, though," He whispers. "I don't like it, but I understand why we have to do it."

"It's just...Austin. I try to get them to see you're not that bad, that your parents are nice and not bad, but...but they're set in their ways. Something about business, I suppose, really ticks with them, and to this day they-" She chokes back a sob, angry at her parents, at the world really. Her parents- strict, uptight, unrelenting- didn't approve of his family. Said they'd bankrupted them years ago or some shit she doesn't pay attention to. And they sure as hell don't approve of Austin.

/ /

He's a bad boy, as they tell her. A bad boy, with his bad family (who weren't bad. Cold, unmoving in business, but not bad.) A bad boy, with his bad tatoos and bad leather jacket and bad friends who drink and smoke . A bad boy with his bad track records and bad reputation and bad work ethic. (He has an inheritance, therefore, he has no need for a work ethic.) A bad boy, with his bad expensive sports car and bad attitude and utter badness.

Except, the thing is, he isn't bad. He doesn't steal, or commit hate crimes or join a gang. They say his world is dangerous, and, well...she's not sure. It's...a classier world than what she's used to. His world is filled with parties and functions his parents drag him to; he spends his lifetime charming his parents' associates (and their wives and daughters, but that stays quiet.) His family- well they weren't perfect, as no one really was. His parents weren't really ever home. Usually at the aforementioned business parties, Austin was often left alone. This was really the root cause of what was deemed bad about him. His tattoos came from the fact that he liked them, that he knew he shouldn't be doing it, that it was an attention-getter from all angles. His parents hated them, the girls loved them, the boys were made jealous, and the school could do nothing, because the thing is, tattoos are permanent. (Ally, secretly, likes them.)

He didn't really have bad friends. In fact, he had quite good ones. Sure, some of his crowd was rougher, but it's not like he could call those people when he was in a bind. (Well, actually, he could, but there's a difference between a friend and a friend.) And occasionally he'd drink with them, but never over his limit, never to the point Ally was disappointed in him. And he never smoked- a cousin and aunt who contracted lung diseases from the habit were enough of a warning for him.

And his work ethic- well he didn't need one, so it's not like he could be faulted for not having an attribute he didn't need. And as for his bad reputation, well...Ally knew the real him. Some of it, yes, was true, but a lot of it was fabricated. Because, after all, he's Austin Moon, resident bad-boy-rich-boy-heir-to-large-business-empire.

People just love to talk.

/ /

"We've sat together before," She remarks, sitting up. "Why didn't you today?"

"Coach Parr was over there," He mutters darkly, and they both wince at the mention of her father's best friend. (Ally is convinced her dad made Coach Parr teach PE and coach football just to keep an eye on her- and away from Austin. Austin agrees with this statement.)

"Well maybe if Trish and Dez were there," she thinks out loud, looking up to see his eyes closed, the lines on his face as tired as she feels. "You want to spend the night?" She asks, switching gears. "You look really tired."

"I am," he replies softly, eyes still closed but arms tighter than ever around the small of her back.

"What were you doing that could have possibly tired you out so much?" She asks, because Austin really doesn't do much.

"Stuff."

"Stuff?"

He cracks an eye open to stare at her. "Stuff."

He must be in one of those moods; his don't-mess-with-me moods. He never really enforces them around Ally, tries not to be rough with her. But on occasion, well, she knows it would be better for her to just listen.

"Alright then," She yawns, cuddling in closer. "Austin?"

"Hm?"

"You know I don't...I don't like to keep it, I mean-"

"Ally," He half-laughs, eyes still closed. "I know. Shh, be quiet."

She huffs petulantly and he laughs, opening his eyes tiredly and dragging them up to her bed. "Come on babe, let's sleep now okay?" He asks, tucking her under the covers and sliding in beside her when she gives him the look.

"Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in," He sings to her quietly, and she lets out a contented sigh. One of her favorite things about Austin is are when she knows things that nobody else does, the secret things about him that stay between them. And one of them is how beautiful his voice is. She tells him he could be a rockstar, but he just laughs off that notion, tickling her cheek and shaking his head.

"Ally!" The door bangs open from downstairs and both teenagers jump. Austin runs to the middle of the room, not sure whether to go down the rope ladder or hide in the closet. Ally points to her desk and throws him her biology book, smoothing out her clothes as she climbs out of bed and grabs books of her own.

Her dad's footsteps pound up the stairs and Ally braces herself. "Ally- oh. Austin. I didn't know you were over," Lester says, disapproval evident on his face.

"Yes sir, we're studying for our Biology test tomorrow," Austin supplies, still trying to get on the good side. (Though, for him, it doesn't exist.)

"You have a Biology test tomorrow?" Lester repeats, sounding more dumb than he intended. "You didn't tell me."

"Slipped my mind," Ally says lightly, hoping het tone won't get her in trouble. "But I asked Austin for some extra help since he's really good at Biology."

"Well study hard," He says gruffly, eyeing the distance between the bed and the desk, as if wondering how appropriate things could be. "Don't get into any trouble now."

"No sir," Austin says cheerfully, but Lester glares and his smile drops.

"Ugh," Ally whispers after her dad walks out and leaves the door wide open. "I don't think he's buying the tutoring thing anymore."

"Well we'll milk it as long as we can," Austin whispers back. "I don't think I should stay the night anymore."

Ally wants to argue with him, but she stays silent.

/ /

Austin knew how to get his way. People, in general, listened to him. All it really took was a well-timed flick of his fair and a few chosen words. Maybe a brush of his hand and the ladies would be putty. It was part of the empire he'd built, his parents had built. Theirs was all in business, and quite frankly he refused to get involved. He knew what his parents did (All kinds of business trusts and corporations) but he really didn't care enough to learn much about it. All he had to do was show up to their stupid functions and conferences and luncheons and dinners and meetings and charm the pants off of, well, basically everyone. Usually it was his dad's business partners that his mother steered him towards, always telling him to smile, sweetie, be good, don't embarass your father and I, remember your manners, work your resume in. So he would smile and be good, try his hardest not to embarass his parents, and he would use his manners while reciting his resume.

It wasn't ever the partners, though, that got him his way. It was the numerous daughters and wives. The wives would gush over how handsome your son is, Mimi, he really is a heartbreaker isn't he? But he knew on the inside, they weren't all thinking decent thoughts. Everyone knew this, but then again, everyone stayed quiet. And then there were the daughters. The young ones, he didn't worry too much about. A simple smile and conversation about their favorite celebrity would pass; it was the older daughters he had real success with.

"Austin," His mother said tightly, hand clamped over his shoulder in a vice grip. "This one is really important, so please-"

"Smile, be good, don't embarass you and dad, remember my manners, work my resume in," Austin said in a monotone, and his mother thwacked the side of his head.

"Don't take that tone with me young man," She snapped. "Now. This could be a potential law firm we could have a share in, so please, for the love of God, be decent." She eyed his shirt, the top three buttons left open, perfectly indecent for such a function. But they both knew, they both knew, no one would be complaining. "Just be good," She sighs, letting go of his shoulder and steering him inside.

It's times like these that get Austin his reputation. His times with the daughters and wives and mothers and sisters and one time the nanny. (Okay, that was twice, but it was hushed up.) Times like these where the daughters salivate over the Moon heir (and his kissing- and other- skills.) Times when the mothers are already planning the wedding in their head and when the wives are wishing they were ten years younger.

"Clara," A voice interrupts his thoughts and he sees a hand stuck out in front of his face, attached to a redheaded girl with a dark blue dress on. "And you're Austin?"

"The one and only," He smirks, flicking his hair and waiting for a visible reaction. Ah, there it is. "Clara, you said?"

"That's right," She sighs, dropping her hand once he shakes it quickly. "Clara Peterson, daughter of William and Genevieve Peterson, heir to the Peterson and Peterson law firm. 4.0, Harvard-bound, gold medalist in ice skating. You?" She takes a sip of her drink (which everyone ignores the obvious underage-ness about) and blinks up at him, waiting for his resume as well. They're common in things like these; you can barely hold a conversation without reciting how perfect you are.

"Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale," He deadpans, sipping from his own drink. (This is his third, and he isn't sure if it's a cocktail or a martini or fruit punch. Again, everyone ignores that he's underage.)

They stare at each other appraisingly before Clara softly giggles and grabs his hand. "Wanna get out of here? Too business-casual for me," She snorts, staring at the pencil skirt of a woman walking by.

"Sure. Lead the way my Harvard bound ice princess," He smiles at her winningly and her eyebrows shoot up, as if she hadn't expected him to listen, to remember.

Austin always listens, always remembers.

It's how he built up his empire.

/ /

Austin has hundreds of those stories, daughters he swept off their feet with a simple kiss, the occasional bathroom quickie, the one time on the grass (he had ant bites after that and decided never again.) Enough stories to last him a lifetime, enough interludes to keep him busy. But never full, never completed.

He reasons that maybe he didn't want to feel complete, that he didn't need someone to be his other half. Why settle down when he could have anyone, anytime, anywhere?

/ /

They move to Miami when Austin is seventeen. He hadn't really wanted to move away; his entire life, his empire as everyone called it, was there. People listened to him there, they loved him, respected him, feared him. But Miami wouldn't be so hard to win over. He did it once back home, he did it everytime he was dragged to a new function, he could do it all over again in Miami.

All it took was the flick of his hair, the chosen words, the brush of his hand against the few girls who dared come talk to him; this intimidating creature who everyone knew about by first period, whose name was already scribbled on the girl's bathroom walls.

He was used to the stares, of course. Used to the giggles he heard as he passed groups of girls, their mouths hidden by their hands but not doing a good job of muffling the nervous laughter at all. Used to the boys gawking as he walked, trying their hardest not to stare or look jealous. He was even used to the teachers, usually the young female ones, getting flustered when he walked into class. (Though one time there was Mr. Harries, but no one ever talked about that incident.) He was used to all of it, but of course it never got any easier.

He got through the whole day, of course, as he always did. He always got through, always managed, even if he was just barely holding on.

He sat on the steps after school, not sure why he was stalling. Maybe it was the fact that he could watch the girls' soccer team practice from his vantage point, or maybe because he wanted a minute or two before he walked to his car. Earbuds in, blasting Queen, so he'd sound cool in case anyone could hear. (But also because he secretly liked them, okay?)

A sniffle and angry shouting from next to him caught his attention and he looked up to a see a beautiful girl yelling into her phone, looking on the verge of tears.

"It's five miles!" She yells, tugging on her brunette hair. "And it's freezing! And do you know how many books I have? Why can't you come pick me up?" She kicks a loose rock down the stairs and Austin watches as it rolls, rolls, rolls before stopping.

"Yeah, whatever, it's fine," She mumbles into the phone, drawing him back to the conversation. "Yeah fine. Sorry for bothering you," She mutters. "Not," She says after hanging up the phone and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

She plops down on the stairs next to him, finally noticing Austin's presence. "Oh!" She exclaims, immediately wiping her eyes and smoothing out her hair. "Sorry, I..."

"It's fine," He says quickly, not liking the upset and worried look on her face. "It's cool, you can sit."

"Thanks," She breathes out gently, slowly sitting back down. They sit in silence for a minute, watching the soccer team do drills and run back and forth.

"I'm Austin by the way," He offers after a minute, hesitating a little. He doesn't often extend the proverbial olive branch to people he doesn't need to impress, and he definitely doesn't need to impress this girl. She's tiny, and doesn't look as if she'd run in his crowd at all - or his parent's crowd- nor does she look as if she wants to be impressed. "Austin Moon."

"Austin Moon," She repeats, looking up to him. "You're new, aren't you?"

"How'd you know?" He jokes, flashing her a crooked grin.

"Well if the whispers at lunch and your name on the bathroom wall is any indication," She laughs, slowly looking less upset. "I'm Ally. Ally Dawson."

"Nice to meet you Ally Dawson," He says, pulling his earbuds out to talk to her, surprising himself. "What year are you?"

"Senior, and you?" She asks, probably just to be polite, he realizes after a beat.

"Senior, but I don't turn eighteen until summer," He says bitterly, hating how that turned out.

"I turn eighteen in December," She remarks, leaning back to grab all the books she had dropped while yelling into her phone. "Sorry to cut this short, but I do need to get home, and I'd rather not get caught out in the dark again." She shudders at a memory, he supposes, and stands up as well.

"Do you need a ride?" He asks, and wonders why all of a sudden he feels so nice about this girl. She's just another girl in the grand scheme of things, but...

She blinks, once, twice, and gapes her mouth open. "Uh...are you serious?"

"Completely," He says, reaching out to grab his backpack from the ground. "I was about to leave anyway."

"That...would be really great," She breathes. "But don't feel like you have to-"

"I want to," He smiles his charming mega-watt smile at her and waits for her to comply. Ah, there we go.

"Wow. Yeah, that would...that would be great, thank you so much," She rushes out. "Really, thanks."

"No problem, Ally Dawson who turns eighteen in December," He jokes, grabbing one of the books from her. "Let's get going."

If she's surprised at his (extremely expensive and slightly ridiculous) car, she doesn't show it, just leans back and lets Austin dictate the flow of their conversation, occasionally giving him directions to her house. He drops her off, and she tries not to flush that it really is smaller than what he probably (obviously) is very used to.

"Thanks Austin," She repeats sincerely, smiling her (really beautiful) smile at him, and he smiles his (real, not his fake) smile back at her.

She notices the difference.

"You're welcome Ally," He says, handing her the textbooks from the backseat.

And that is how Austin started driving Ally home.

/ /

Ally isn't sure why her parents harbor such anger towards the nice blonde boy who drives her home. They ask her how she gets home and she flat-out tells them. Austin Moon, the new kid, drives her, and he's really nice about it too. It's just become a routine for them, and neither question it. They meet at his car after school and that is that.

"You can't drive with him," Is her dad's initial reaction. "That boy is dangerous."

"Dad, he's a nice guy," She protests, even though she really doesn't know him that well, it feels like the right thing to say. "Honestly."

"His family is the reason we're bankrupt!" He thunders, and Ally looks to her mother for support, but Penny looks about as angry as Lester. "His family is the reason both your grandfather and I got laid off! His family is the reason we can't afford nice things!"

"That makes no sense!" She shouts. "What did they do to you?"

"They absolved the companies!" He shouts, amongst more business talk she doesn't understand.

"Well that's them, not Austin!" She yells. "Okay? He heard me asking you to pick me up- which you refused- and didn't want me to walk five miles with my mountains of books in the freezing cold! If you think about it, it's your fault!" She shouts, tiny hands balled into fists. "Austin's a nice guy, dad, and I plan on being his friend."

/ /

Nobody questions it. Austin falls in easily with Ally, and she with him. He has his friends and she has hers, but sometimes they share. (Because secretly, he likes her friends so much better.)

If they don't feel like being sneaky, they sit together at lunch, with Ally's friends Dez, Trish, and Cassidy. If it's...not one of their better days, then Austin sits with whoever he feels like. He floats around or sits outside with his friend Dallas and wishes he could just go sit with his girlfriend.

But he knows word will get back, to his parents and to hers. His parents wouldn't care too much, if only for the simple fact that he might be distracted from their ultimate goal- for him to be the perfect son, model heir, and a bunch of other shit he can't be bothered to remember. If her parents found out, she would probably be kicked out, and he'd be dead in a ditch.

Ally- and Austin- think that her dad's hatred for the Moons must go back further than just money and being laid off when a company is absolved. There's probably more, or maybe it's just a simple hatred for, well, everything. Either way, Austin knows he really isn't welcome at the Dawsons' house, and that they need to be careful if they want this to last.

She climbs up into his window one night, the cool air reminding her of the September that they met. "Austin," She pokes his sleeping shoulder and he groans. "Austin," She does it again and he pulls her down into bed with him.

"Ally," He mutters sleepily. "Be quiet."

"Austin, I need to talk to you."

"No. Sleep."

"Austin!" She cries, frustrated. "Would you just listen to me?"

"What?" He snaps, eyes flying open. "What? It's midnight, and I have a test tomorrow. So what?"

"Are you mad at me?" She asks, and Austin is ready to rip his pillow in half.

"Ally, just settle down and go to sleep, okay?"

"I can't sleep if I think you're mad at me!" She yells, trying to get him to talk.

"You pushed me away today," He murmurs, eyes closed and burrowing into his blankets.

"I thought you were going to kiss me," She whispers into the darkness of his big (so big) bedroom.

He sits up slowly, bringing her with him, but settling so they face each other. "Would that have been so bad?" He asks, and it's the hurt in his voice she notices the most.

/ /

He moved into her Biology class.

"Austin?" She had asked, noticing the boy who had driven her home a few times. "What are you doing here?"

"They said I was too advanced for my old Biology class so they moved me in here,"He explains, sliding in next to her and cocking an eyebrow at the teacher, as if daring Ms. Meyer to ask him to move. She doesn't.

"Hey Brown Eyes," He says to her once he has his binder pulled out. "Got a problem with me sitting here?"

"No," She says slowly. "I don't."

"Cool, because I'd like to sit with someone I know and you aren't half bad, Ally Dawson who turns eighteen in December," He jokes, and she rolls her eyes at the fact that he hasn't let it go.

"Alright, Austin Moon who has a car with way too many ridiculous features he's proud of," She snorts, and they get to work on the Biology lab.

And that is how Austin and Ally became friends.

/ /

"So I counted today, Blondie, and your name is on the East Wing bathroom wall a total of eighty-seven times," Trish recites to him over her lunch of Chinese food. "Do you feel special yet?"

"How many did you write, Ally?" He asks cockily, and she throws her French Fry at his head.

"Don't get a big head now," She warns. "Eat your lunch."

However, Trish notices number eighty-eight written on the wall after lunch, in handwriting that looks supsiciously like Ally's.

/ /

The Biology test went well enough, and they celebrate by going to his house. His big, spacious house where no one is ever home.

"Wow," She breathes out, stepping up the marble stairs. "This is nice."

"Thanks," He shrugs, feeling awkward and out of place in his own home. "so..." He rubs the back of his neck and they stare at one another before she launches herself at him.

Not a bad way to celebrate, all in all.

/ /

"Austin, my dad is right down the hall," Ally grits out as he pops into her bedroom late at night. "We're so dead, we're so dead, we're so dead-"

"We're only dead if you keep freaking out as loudly as you are," Austin reprimands, landing on the floor with a soft thud. "So hush."

"Where were you today?" She whispers as he crawls into bed with her. "I didn't see you. Did you miss school?"

"Maybe," He mumbles, playing with her hair slowly. "Maybe I skipped school..."

"Austin," She groans, her voice full of warning. "You need to stop doing that. What was it for this time?"

"I just had a hard day yesterday, okay?" He grits out. "I just really wasn't up for school today."

"Well up for it or not, you need to go," She says lightly, too lightly, turning in his arms to face him. "You can't just go whenever you feel like it, pretty boy."

"Look, Dallas just needed some help," He starts, then shakes his head and stops. "Never mind."

"Help? Help with what?" She asks, propping up on one elbow, the blue comforter sliding down to her hips. "Hm?"

"Your parents think I'm dangerous," He says in lieu of answer, and she blinks.

"Yes..."

"Do you know why they think I'm dangerous?" He asks, and she can't understand the masked emotions he has.

"Well I suppose it's the bad boy reputation you have going on," She whispers thoughtfully. "You certainly don't look sweet and innocent. And some of the people you tend to hang out with are rougher..."

"Right," He says tightly. "I'm not going to hurt you, Ally," He says, and she swears she hears hurt in his voice, that it's trembling.

"No baby, I know you aren't," She says quickly, holding his face in her hands. "I know you'd never hurt me, I know that."

"I wouldn't hurt you, Ally, I promise," He cries, a little shakily (but they both ignore that) and buries his face in her hair. "I'd never hurt you..."

"I know," She breathes, being the one to comfort him for once. "I know."

/ /

When Austin asked her out, she wasn't quite sure what to think. He was, well, Austin Moon. Bad boy. Rich boy. Nice boy. All around boy. Boys like that didn't ask Ally out. Boys didn't ask Ally out. So hesitantly, she said yes.

It turned out to be the best date, even if it was in secret. They met at Trish's house and went from there to dinner, at a place she probably couldn't have afforded if Austin hadn't told her to leave her money at home.

They shared a cheesy chocolate malt after making fun of all the couples doing the same, held hands and giggled in the dark street on the way back, and sang loudly to songs in his car. (They always did, after school, but this time was different.)

And after that first date, Austin was determined to never have another without Ally.

/ /

Austin isn't good at apologies. They roll clumsily off of his tongue, as if they don't want to come out. And when they do, they're sticky, and syrupy, and all around messy. Ally says sorry so often that it has practically lost its meaning by now.

Sorry seems to be the one word that defines their relationship.

/ /

"Ally, Ally, wait up!" Austin calls after her as she marches away from his car. "Ally! Ally Dawson you stop right now!"

"Why?" She screams, whipping around. "Don't you have somewhere to be? A janitor's closet with Kira?" She spits the girl's name off of her tongue like it's fiery, hot lava, like a poisonous taste she can't bear, and Austin's heart breaks.

"Look, Ally, honestly, I didn't mean for that to happen!" He yells, near enough now to grab her hand but knowing it'll be a bad idea. "Honestly. She just came up and asked me out, and she got really close, okay? She wouldn't have done that if she'd known I was with you!"

"So now it's all my fault?" She cries, but softly, her voice cracking, and if Austin's heart was broken before, now it's crushed into billions of pieces.

"No, but it's not entirely my fault either," He says gently, reaching for her hand. "Let's not do this in the parking lot, okay?"

She looks around and sees a few people looking curiously their way and agrees with a curt nod of her head, but wrenches her hand out of his grasp. "Fine."

They drive, but not to her house; instead they go to the beach and Ally glares.

"More privacy to talk," He explains. "Without either of your parents possibly being home."

She nods again and Austin sighs. "Look. Ally, I...Ally I'm really sorry, okay? But it's not like she knew I was with you, so...so she didn't have a reason to back off." He runs a hand through his already-messy blonde hair and they both let out a huff of air.

"I'm sorry," She says automatically and Austin slams his hand against the window.

"Are you?" He asks, whispers, so quietly she barely hears it.

"What?"

"Are. You. Sorry. You say you are so many times I don't even know if you mean it anymore," Austin whispers, and now it's Ally's turn to feel a shudder in her heart.

"I am, though," She squeaks out, voice cracking. "Austin. I am."

"Well I don't know what to tell you Ally," Austin sighs, a deep, heavy sigh, far too sad for someone only seventeen. "Okay? Because I didn't exactly push her off, you're right, but it's not like I have permission to call you my girlfriend. So what are we going to do?"

He doesn't look at her but he knows she's crying, can practically hear the tears come down onto her cheeks and staining them.

"Austin you know I can't be with you, you know my dad would kick me out, I'd be dead, you know, you know-" She's full-on crying now and Austin does feel bad, but he's also pissed off. "You know I can't, not yet-"

"I just don't get why it's so bad," Austin whispers. "For you and I to be together. I mean, it's not like my parents actively said to fire your dad and just your dad, it was a lot of people. And they didn't want to fire people, it was just, it was just-" He's choked up, too, now. Great. "I'm not going to hurt you," He repeats, solidly, as if saying it harder and louder will make it more true.

"I know."

"I'm not going to hurt you," He says again, biting the words out into the air. "Fuck. I'd never do that, never. I wasn't the one who even decided to absolve the companies, it was my parents, and you know how I feel about them!"

"I know!" She shouts back. "I know! Okay? I know all this stuff, you know all this stuff, it's our parents. It's my parents. It's my parents! My parents, would kill me, your parents, they don't care about-"

"Finish that sentence, Ally, I dare you."

Ally panics and climbs on top of Austin in his seat, holds his face between her hands. "I. Am. Sorry. I wish I could hold your hand in public and dance with you at parties and kiss you whenever I wanted. I wish I could call you my boyfriend and cuddle with you at lunch and wear your jackets at school. I wish we could do all those sappy love things, but we can't. It's just not realistically in our future right now. Your family, they've always been on the high-class, upper scale side of the tracks, the dangerous side. And my family, we've never been that way. We scrape to get by and we play it safe. We can't afford to be dangerous. I wish I could give you all of that, all of that cheesy romance stuff that would just embarass us. I wish I could be everything you want, Austin, but I just can't right now. I want to give you as much as you give me but I just can't right now."

It's only thirty seconds before they're both ready to cry (and maybe they both have a few tears, but Austin doesn't cry, so that'll be kept quiet.) and holding on for dear life.

"I just don't get it," He murmurs into her shoulder. "I'm not dangerous. I'm not some big business tycoon. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know," She murmurs back, choking with sobs. "I know."

/ /

Austin hates Ally's father, if only for the fact that she's absolutely terrified of him. She's scared of him, terrified, and there is nothing Austin hates more than seeing fear in her beautiful eyes.

Ally's not very rebellious; she does whatever she needs to do to get by, usually unnoticed. Then of course, Austin came in and mixed up her world like shaking up a glittery snowglobe and making it topsy-turvy. So many times, Austin has told Ally he'd set her father straight, but she calmed him with a small shake of her head and a please, please, no. So he doesn't. Although in his head, he imagines grabbing Ally and kissing her in plain view of Mr. Dawson; that would be worse than a bullet to him.

Ally wishes she could stand up for herself more than she does; she must get the meekness from her mother, who doesn't stand up to Lester either.

Austin, however, is the rebellion of a lifetime. He drives his car too fast and has tatoos and they call him dangerous. He fights for what he wants and he pushes the limits with his parents. He let Elliot stay at his house for a week when he got kicked out of his own for being caught with a pack of cigarettes under his bed. He skipped school as much as he could without being suspended, blew his money on stupid stuff, and basically rebelled against any form of written rule to be found.

Ally is not the rebellion of a lifetime. But with Austin, she shares a small form of rebellion, and it's the only thing that keeps her going. Every time her dad yells at her for not doing the dishes or for getting a bad grade in school, Ally resists the urge to smile; I didn't do the dishes because I wasn't here last night or I have something you don't have and never will.

She's not very good at rebelling, but it keeps her sane.

/ /

Ally remembered the first day they walked into school after they made it official. They couldn't hold hands, and they were both incredibly pissed off about that, but as Austin said, it was for the best. Nothing changed, not really, nothing except for the way they looked at each other.

People noticed.

/ /

"You taste like sunlight and strawberry bubblegum," Austin whispers to her one morning, waking up to her in his arms, and for once in his own room. Her parents had gone to visit her grandparents, and Ally was surprised that they left her on her own.

"Sunlight and strawberry bubblegum," She repeats, giggling. "Really?"

"It's from a song," He yawns into her hair. "Forget which one."

"Mm. Maybe you should sing it for me sometime, or another one," She suggests. "With your nice voice."

"Or not," He suggests, but one look from her and he begins to sing.

You're so delicious

you're so soft

sweet on the tip of my tongue

you taste like sunlight

and strawberry bubble gum

It's one of her better mornings.

His as well.

/ /

Austin knew how to cook, Ally learned one day in January. He was great at it, too.

"My parents were, and still are, always gone," He called over his shoulder as he made them chicken and rice with curry or something she didn't catch. "Had to learn to cook when I was twelve. Didn't want to eat macaroni or TV dinners every night."

Ally thinks that's really sad, but she does appreciate the amazing cooking skills he gained. and if they benefit her, and her stomach, in the long run, oh well.

/ /

He tells her he loves her on a Saturday before summer. It tumbles out, quickly, nervously.

It's a good thing she loves him back, and she tells him so.

/ /

"Tilly's having a party this weekend, wanna go?" Austin asks Ally on the car ride home. "Saturday."

"Or we could just go to your house," Ally says slyly. "My parents won't be home all weekend."

"You want to spend all weekend at my house?" Austin squeaks. "Like...like all weekend?"

"Well I mean not if you don't want me to," She says sullenly.

"Hey, hey, it's not that I don't want you to, it's that, well, ah, oh shit, um-"

"You want to have sex, I know," Ally says as they pull up to her house, and the car lurches.

"No! Well yes, but no! I'm not saying we have to! No! We don't have to! I mean yes I want to but that's beside the point, do you want to? Do you not want to? Oh God, oh shit, no I'm going to shut-"

"Austin," She whispers, grabbing his sweatshirt hood and pulling him towards her, pecking him on the lips. "Do you know what this weekend is?"

"No..."

"It's our nine months," She answers quietly. "And you love me, I love you..." And with that, she hops out of his car and flies up to her house, shocked at how brazen she was.

Austin goes home to take a cold shower.

/ /

It's awkward, incredibly awkward. Austin was experienced, and Ally was as innocent as the day she was born. Well not quite, but she didn't have any past experience to go off of.

"Ow," She squeaks out, and tries not to cry, but damn this really hurts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He mumbles over and over, kissing her face all over. "I'm sorry, it'll get better soon."

And it does.

/ /

"Where did you apply?" Austin asks her at lunch as they talk about college. "In-state, or...?"

"In state," She moans, head resting on the tabletop. "Cheaper. But at this rate, I won't be able to afford college at all. I'll end up working at McDonalds."

"Hey, don't talk like that," He says sternly, lifting her head up. "You're gonna go to college, alright? Even if I have to pay for it myself."

"I'm not your charity case," She mumbles quietly, and Austin just frowns as she slumps back down, looking sore and tired.

"You alright?" He asks, concerned. "This isn't about college at all, is it?"

"No."

"Then what?"

Ally sits up and looks around the cafeteria, but the only people listening are Dez and Trish and they're too busy having eye-sex to care at all.

"My mom wouldn't look at me today," She mumbles pushing her uneaten hamburger at him. "I think she heard us last night. When you snuck over and fell in with literally the loudest fall in the history of falls."

"I slipped, it was cold out!" He cries, but sobers up. "Think they know?"

"I think she does, but I don't know if she'll tell my dad or anything," She mutters, stealing a grape off of his plate. "We have to be quieter."

"This is so much work," He mumbles. "It'd just be easier if...if we didn't have to sneak around."

"Austin-" She says warningly, but he cuts her off with a soft, sad smile.

"I know, I know, but it's nice to think about sometimes," He says gently. "Nice to imagine."

/ /

"Thank you," She whispers one day after school, sitting in his car but not ready to get out yet.

"For what, beautiful?" He asks, cradling her into his chest as they avoid the sudden heat that's popped up outside.

"For putting up with me, for putting up with all of this shit." She says quietly into his The Script t-shirt; it's soft and gray and it smells like Austin. "For not backing out because you're tired of it."

"I'd never get tired of you," He whispers in her ear, and she'd be lying if her heart didn't flutter like a thousand butterflies at his soft tone and sweet words.

"Still. Thank you."

/ /

Ally thinks Christmastime is when they were at their best. They were still newly dating; they'd only started in October, and there was all that cheer in the air. (Austin pretended to hate it.) Christmas is when she first fell asleep in his arms, Christmas is when he first sang for her. Christmastime, December, was her birthday, and he spoiled her rotten. Christmas was a good time. She hopes their next one will be the same.

/ /

They do cute coupley things, just in private. Austin makes Ally ridiculous heart-shaped pancakes or buys her stuff she mentions liking. He makes her listen to his favorite bands and wear the band t-shirts and they cuddle in front of the fireplace and talk about the future like any lovestruck teenager.

He makes them breakfast in bed one day and Ally smiles contentedly. "I feel like we just got a glimpse of the future," She yawns into his chest tiredly, and his breath hitches.

"I hope so," He whispers, already feeling her doze back off. "I hope so."

/ /

"Would you want to go to a party with me?" He blurts out of the blue as they walk through the park, pretending that Ally doesn't need to be home by now.

"We go to parties all the time," She says confusedly. "Well not all the time, but you know what I mean."

"Not one of those parties," He corrects her, grabbing her hair up in a ponytail on top of her head and gently letting go, watching as it gets in her face. "My parents are going to this dinnery party business thing and I can bring a guest. You wanna go?"

"What would I do at one of those?" She asks, crinkling her nose and laughing. "Talk about business and the fiscal cliff? Yeah right."

"No, you wouldn't have to talk if you don't want to, I never do, but you could be with me," He says winningly, flashing his mega-watt smile that she both hates and loves. "Keep me entertained. They might have chocolate fondue." He laughs at how her face lights up at the mention of chocolate, and squeezes her hand gently. "Please?"

"Fine," She grumbles. "But I'm not going to fit in, and if I embarrass you, remember this was your idea."

"Don't worry princess, you'll be fine," Austin says, barely holding back the glee in his voice. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," She laughs, waving him off and out of her voice. "But you're going to owe me after I basically make a fool out of myself for you."

/ /

Austin buys Ally a new dress and she tells her mother that she's going to Cassidy's cousin's Sweet 16 as a friend-date. (Because Cassidy had just broken things off with her boyfriend, so Ally reasoned that it made enough sense. Sort of. (okay, that was one of the worst lies she had told so far.) )

Austin picks her up, once again at Trish's house. (One of these days, Austin is going to send his favorite curlytop a fruit basket.) "Ready? You look beautiful," He gushes, leaning in to kiss her, and she giggles like a schoolgirl when he does. Ignoring the dread and nervousness pooling in the pit of her stomach, she nods weakly and he begins to drive.

It's alright for the first half of the night; they walk in and find Austin's parents, Austin explaining he brought his friend to keep him company. (They both wince at the word friend.) Ally tugs nervously at her dress as Mimi gives her a once-over, before hissing the usual instructions in her son's ear. Later, Austin will assure her that his mom loved her, but they both know he's lying through his teeth.

"James Knight Junior, son of Katherine and James Knight, owners of the Knight Institute of Technology and Architecture, first year in Stanford, pre-med," A tall boy with glasses introduces himself to Austin by sticking out his hand, and Austin shakes it quickly before drawing Ally closer to him, as if on instinct.

"Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale," Austin recites dryly once again, as if it's a script he has memorized. (It is.) "And this is my girlfriend Ally Dawson."

(her heart leaps when he calls her his girlfriend, but of course that is kept quiet.)

"Ally Dawson? Are you related to Rosalie and Edward Dawson by any chance? Partners of the Dawson Hospital and Medical Associations?" James pushes his glasses (they remind Ally of Superman as Clark Kent) further up his nose and he peers at her, adjusting his fruity drink in his hand.

"Uh, no," She stutters. "Ally Dawson of Lester and Penny Dawson. We don't own any hospitals," She says truthfully, and feels Austin's hand tighten on her hipbone, effectively silencing her.

"Oh, and what do you do?" James asks, genuinely interested. (Well, Ally thinks he is. Austin knows he isn't.)

"Old money," Austin offers as explanation. "Oh look, there's Mother." And with that, he steers Ally off in a direction she has a feeling Mimi isn't anywhere near.

"Sorry," She mumbles, looking at the floor. "I'm sorry. God Austin, I told you-"

"Hey, shh," He coos, calming her and looking to make sure no one is watching. "Don't worry about it. I just knew he'd end up digging for more and more, the pre-meds are always like that."

Ally snorts as he categorizes the college degrees together and leans against the wall, her heels already making her feet ache. "I really don't belong here," She whispers, observing the crowd. It's classy, upper-end, high-scale. But the feels the underlying danger, the plots and plans and sick, twisted games people play on one another. The sucking up, constant ass-kissing to someone you really didn't like. She can see the fake laughs on the women wearing four-carat rings, the firm handshakes from the men only trying to secure more money. And then she looks at Austin, and feels like even if he does belong here, he's different.

And then there's Ally. Not dangerous, no money, just trying to get by.

She doesn't belong in his world.

/ /

Austin whispers in her ear halfway through the night that there's a really pretty garden, let's go. They've spent enough time inside to sufficiently spread the names around, for people to see Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale is in attendance with Ally Dawson "old money" on his arm.

Quickly, they sneak out, laughing as they pass the hordes of confused waiters with wine spilled down their white shirts.

"This is the best part of the whole night," Austin sighs, stretching his arms out and cracking his back. "Here, it's cold, wear this." She shrugs on his (very very large on her) suit jacket and looks up at the stars in the sky.

"Pretty out here," She remarks, just making out the constellation Cygnus. "You can see it without all the lights."

"That crowd wouldn't notice," Austin snorts, plopping down on the grass and staring up at the sky. "The stars, how natural they are."

"Beautiful," She agrees, sitting down with him after hesitating for a minute.

"Like you," He singsongs, fully aware that she's rolling her eyes at the cheesiness of the statement. (But secretly, she loves it.)

"When I turned...fifteen or so, I started bringing girls out here, the girls I'd meet in there. Places like these, they're all the same, but if I was lucky, it would be beautiful outside. None of them really wanted to appreciate the sky, though," He sighs, twining their fingers loosely together.

"Wanted to appreciate you?" She asks, one eyebrow raised, and Austin just sighs.

"It's all the same. All the same, superficial ass-kissing business. No one in there is real, Ally. There's no one real in my world. Just you."

She doesn't know what to say to that, and lets the statement hang between them, a pregnant pause that's so heavy, yet so light.

"You're real," He repeats, with meaning. "It's funny. I...have all this stuff, this money and a guaranteed future. But I'd give it all up in a minute to be real, to run off with you and live in some stupid small town and never have to worry about anything except how I'm going to show you I love you each night."

"I'd like that," She whispers. "But it just isn't realistic." Her hair is fanned out on the grass beneath her, and the ends, golden, look like rays of sunshine against the slightly-damp blades.

"We could try," He says suddenly, but they both know it's just wishful thinking. "To run away."

"We can't," She whispers. "Fuck, I'd love that, but we can't."

"I know," He whispers, their hands still twined, the only thing connecting them to this reality. "I know."

/ /

Ally has a fascination with Austin's tatoos.

He never really tells her why he got some of them, or what they mean, but she likes them. Her favorite is probably the tiny, ever so tiny, padlock he got on his forearm for her. She likes to kiss his arm right there and watch him laugh because it tickles, but also because he knows what she'd doing, what's there, what it all means.

Ally just has a fascination with Austin.

/ /

He brings her to more functions and luncheons and dinners and meetings, somehow always making an excuse for why she should come, and she always lies through her teeth to get out of the house.

And every time, they go outside and look at the stars, after Ally barely survives the rounds they make of the room; important people Austin knows and she doesn't, pretty Harvard-bound ice princesses and Stanford pre-med students. And then there's Austin Moon, the person he is when he's in all those functions and meetings and dinners and luncheons, Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale. But then there's Austin, the person he is when they leave; the person who appreciates the stars and twines their hands together and hums softly, ever so softly, under his breath to steady her breathing when she's nervous.

She likes that Austin.

"Given any more thought to my nice idea of running off?" Austin asks after a particularly dry dinner party as they loop around the pond outside. "There's a couple small towns I think we'd fit in nicely."

"We're still in high school, Austin," Ally laughs, reprimanding. "We can't and you know that."

"I know," He sighs heavily. "But it's nice to imagine that, you know? A world where I don't have to be Austin Moon, a resume, and you don't have to be Ally Dawson, afraid of her parents and having to hide her love."

"I like that world," She murmurs, stopping short to smell a white rose. "It would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," He agrees, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat. "Yeah it would."

/ /

It's the fifth dinner party when Ally realizes why they call him dangerous.

It was like any other, they made the boring rounds and left to excape to the stars as soon as possible, laying on the grass and Austin singing to her as they gazed at the constellations.

"Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?" He sang sweetly, and she sighed in content, her head snuggled onto Austin's shoulder in a way she never wanted to end.

"Moon," a voice hissed from behind them, and Austin immediately leapt up, pushing Ally behind him.

A group of three boys, rough-looking (yet they still look like they'd be sons of business millionaires) are perched on the handrail leading into the ballroom and Austin tenses visibly.

"Another one?" The tallest boy laughs, nodding at Ally. "I'll take her off your hands if it's an issue for you."

"She is with me," Austin bites out. "Get lost."

"I don't think so," The tallest one continues. "See, I remember you promised to give us a real nice amount of money to fuck out of your business and not tell your daddy what you do, and now I'm expecting that. But if you don't have the money, the chick works."

"Ally, go inside," Austin murmurs quietly. "I'll be right there." She's frozen, though, thinking is this why he's dangerous, they say he's dangerous, he's dangerous? But then the rational part of her remembers Austin's promises to never hurt her, and she relaxes a slight bit.

"No, she stays, man," The tall one says, edging closer. "Money or the girl."

"You're not getting either, because I never promised you money, and she's not yours to take," Austin says indignantly, arm wrapped around Ally behind him. "Just fuck off, Will, okay?"

"What if I don't-"

And that is when Austin throws his first punch.

/ /

"You can't take three on at once!" Ally yells as she pushes him into her room, face bleeding and arm hurting more than it should. "For God's sake, Austin, what the hell was that?"

"They're a bunch of idiots is all," He grits out, moving his arm at a painful angle. "Just let it go."

"No, for once I will not let it go!" She shouts. "What was that?"

"Look, Ally, a couple months back I just...got into some trouble, and I kind of...needed to gloss things over with them, it's not a big-"

"Tell the truth," She says, dangerously quiet. "Tell me the truth, Austin."

"A couple months ago I got involved in a rough crowd, they got in trouble with the police, I didn't want my parents to find out and that is that," He says shortly, looking away from her. It's not a dramatic story like she thought, but the word dangerous wafts across her mind, in her father's voice.

"Oh," She says simply, wiping his face off with a cloth.

"I'm not like that, though," He continues, in the soft, serious voice. "I'm not. I'm not...not dangerous, Ally, I'm not going to hurt you or let you get hurt," He murmurs, still intently staring away from her.

For the first time, she doesn't say I know in response.

/ /

In normal situations, Austin wouldn't have got into a fight. In normal situations, Ally wouldn't have snuck him up to her room to clean him off. In normal situations, her parents wouldn't have been home so early. In normal situations, Lester Dawson wouldn't have caught his daughter having sex with the dangerous, reckless boy whose family ruined him.

/ /

It's not his fault and it's not hers; neither of them is right or wrong in this all-around shitty situation.

"Ally, you have to eat," Trish mentions gently in her ear, a motherly tone to her voice as she slides a bag of chips to her best friend. "Please, eat."

"I can't," She moans. "I can't."

"God, you're so depressing lately," Trish whines, pulling a chip out of the bag and waving it in front of Ally. "Eat."

"No," Ally says stubbornly, and Trish explodes.

"God damnit, Ally, just eat your damn lunch before I drag Austin over here by his ear and make you two make up!"

"No don't do that!" Ally cries, snuggling into Trish's shoulder. "Please don't, I can't face him."

"You two are going to have to patch things up," Trish says, quieter, running a hand through Ally's hair. "What even went wrong?"

"We're all wrong," Ally sniffles. "He's...Austin Moon. He has this whole grand life of business and money and wealth and the upper class ahead of him. Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts," She repeats, so used to the sound of those words that they're ingrained in her brain. "And I'm...me. Ally. Poor girl who can't afford college, whose family is bankrupt because of his, Ally who doesn't do danger. Austin does danger. Austin is fast and reckless and a bad boy, and I'm just not!" She yells, and a few heads turn from their tables to stare. "Oh fuck off," She mumbles into Trish's shoulder.

"Ally," Trish chastises. "You two were perfect. So what if he's Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts? You once told me that's not who he is! You said there's Austin Moon and there's Austin Moon, one who is theirs and one who is yours. I'm still the one who is yours still exists, Ally, he wouldn't have left just because everything fell to pieces. What even happened?"

"He and his world are dangerous," Ally whispers. "Just like they told me."

/ /

Dez is the only one of Ally's friends that still talks to Austin; Austin's grateful, as he's become quite attached to the eccentric redhead.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," Dez observes as Austin bites out of his.

"Mm," Austin hums, barely a response; he doesn't have the energy to think.

"Austin, man, come on, just go make things right with her," Dez pleads, fed up with the utterly pathetic personas of his friends as of late. "Please."

"No," Austin says stubbornly. "For once I think it's all my fault."

"What happened?" Dez asks, curiously, as no one ever did find out.

"I'm too dangerous for her," Austin spits out. "I'm dangerous and she can get hurt. I've got this whole other side to my life, this stupid side with business and parties and ass-kissing to people I could care less about. This superficial side to me I'll never be able to escape. None of it is real. She is. She's real, Dez, and I tried so hard, but I can't ever escape that...side of my life. It's been pummeled into me since day one that I'm the son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale!" He shouts, throwing his apple to the ground. "I could care less about business and their damn corporations and trusts and dinner parties and damn Yale! I could care less! But being in that world, Dez, it makes part of my life so unreal, and it makes me so dangerous for Ally, and-"

"How is that dangerous?" Dez asks curiously. "You part of the mob or something?"

"It just is," Austin says, shaking his head. "Dangerous. I can't...explain. I'm dangerous. I'm reckless and stupid and a "bad boy" and they call me dangerous. I can't...keep dragging her into this, I can't."

"Did she say she wanted to leave? That she was done with all of that?"

"No, but it was implied," Austin groans, sliding down the courtyard wall to the ground.

"Trish says it's partly Ally's fault, if that helps," Dez offers quietly, sliding next to his friend. "That she doesn't flat out stand up for herself, lets her dad walk all over her instead of standing up for your relationship."

"Her dad caught us having sex," Austin mutters. "I'm bad for her, God, I'm so bad for her," Austin cries, kicking his apple further away from them. "I'm bad for her, I'm d-"

"For fuck's sake Austin, if you tell me you're dangerous one more time, I'm going to kill you!" Dez shouts, thwacking the blonde on the head. "You're not bad for her, man, you're good for each other. She keeps you...grounded. And you keep her sane, you keep her from getting walked on."

"I really wanted to just give her dad everything I had, just really go at him, the fear in her eyes was-" Austin shakes his head, not liking the memory. "But she just said no, so quietly, and I just...she just...she just told me it was better for me to leave. And like an idiot, I listened." He kicks at the dirt and Dez sighs.

"Her dad's awful," He finally states. "And I'm sure she appreciates that you want to protect her, but she also knows what he's capable of. Come on Austin, you're seventeen years old, you two are still young. It'll all work out."

"I just don't get why us being together is so awful. It's just..."

"Complicated," Dez finishes for him. "It's the money and the hatred and the past and it's the underlying roughness on your side and the excessive money you have. It's the scraping by on hers and the fact that your family is everything he stands against. And it's the fact that he's pretty much a jerk who likes to control everything and when you're in the picture he can't control shit. So yeah. Complicated."

"I hate life," Austin moans in lieu of answer. "I really wish I was stupid enough to go drink or smoke right now."

"Well you're not, so don't start," Dez says disapprovingly. "Listen, you two will patch things up in your own time, alright?"

"I don't think so," Austin moans. "I think we've really fucked it up this time."

/ /

They have; they're messed up, and both of them are more broken then they'd care to admit. Everyone knows but nobody knows. Everyone knew about them but nobody knew about them, and now they're sitting like ripped halves of a stupid Valentine heart; ripped right down the middle, and no matter how hard you try to force them back, little slivers were lost along the way, so the fit will never again be perfect.

Ally knows it's stupid, really, she does. She shouldn't be pining when he's so obviously not.

Austin knows he should move on with his life and just go out with one of the daughters always being pushed at him; but he doesn't, he can't because her face is always in his mind, her smile is on the lips of everyone he sees, and the air smells like her. He thinks he might be losing it.

And Ally knows it's really stupid, but for once in her life all she wants to do is rebel. She has a month left until college, it's time to stand up for herself. And so she does.

/ /

"It was just one time," She had told her dad. "Dad, really, I wasn't interested, one night stand type thing." "I'll go date a nice boy." "I'll focus more on school." "I didn't love him, it was just the once." Lies lies lies that she spun out to her father; lies he didn't believe but pretends to, wants to. Lies she can't even convince herself to try and believe, because what they had was something else entirely.

Until one day, she stops lying, and tells the truth.

It happens over a dinner of ramen noodles, because neither of her parents are very adept at cooking. (She's come to miss Austin's food.)

"We dated for almost a year," She spits out, and before she can stop herself the story tumbles out. "And we kept it secret, mostly because of you, Dad. But it was the best time I've had in my life. He was, still is, sweet and kind and funny and he's this whole wonderful person you don't know about. He's not...he isn't the person his reputation makes him out to be. He hates what his parents do, the mindless business. He hates that whole world; I got to see it, that part of his life, and I don't belong there, obviously. But sometimes he doesn't either."

She eyes her parents' faces; her dad is shocked and her mother looks like she knew all along.

"I...obviously, don't belong in his life, I can't be part of that world, it's just...I don't belong there. Austin, he used to call me real, the only real thing in his life, you know that? Real. And he used to suggest we ran off, to some small little town, where our entire lives could be real and we'd never have to real about the utter idiocy that is his world, and we wouldn't have to worry about you sending him death threats and kicking me onto the street."

Lester's face is almost purple and the grip he has on his fork really is remarkable.

"And I used to tell him no, we can't run away, we can't do that. But it would have been so much better than being afraid all the time. Afraid of you," She directs to her dad. "Afraid of what was expected of us. So maybe I did make a mistake, when I decided to not run away from him. Because anywhere with Austin would have been better than this."

And with that, she runs up the stairs at lightning speed and locks her door, the shouts following her the whole way.

/ /

Ally remembers the first time Austin realized how scared she was of her dad. Her parents had been fighting again and she called Austin, upset. He was over in ten minutes flat, holding her and telling her she was safe. A particularly loud thump was heard from downstairs and she curled into Austin, practically begging to be held tighter.

He was glad that her reaction was to stay, and have him protect her, instead of to flee, for once.

/ /

Now Austin isn't here to tell her she's safe and loved and that her dad can't hurt her. She's barricaded in her room and listening to her father scream at her; words like betraying the family and danger and reckless and slut are thrown in quite a few times, but she doesn't care. She wants to laugh at how ridiculous the situation is, at how utterly Romeo and Juliet they are. (Except she has no plans for suicide, thank you very much.)

So she shakes her head and almost laughs, before hopping down the rope ladder and escaping through the backyward. Her mom watches through the kitchen window and gives a half-smile, knowing where her daughter is headed.

She also knows it's the first time Ally's used the rope ladder to leave, instead of pulling Austin up.

Penny feels like somehow this could be symbolic, but she didn't do very well in English, so she gives up on metaphors and just wishes her daughter good luck.

/ /

Austin really isn't dangerous. The brush he had with the police a while back wasn't even bad. His friends got caught vandalizing and he was guilty by association. Austin may be a 'bad boy', but he isn't dangerous. He'd never hurt Ally, never let her get hurt. So why he beat himself up for being dangerous, (God, Dez hated that word, he'd heard it too many times since they broke up) no one knew.

Ally knew. Ally knew he didn't mean danger as in physical, or in the rough crowd. The danger of the social climbing, the backstabbing, the danger of the upper elite crowd that would suck you in and not let you leave for years, finally spitting you out when you were dried-up, used, bankrupt, had served your purpose. He didn't want Ally to become another resume, he didn't want her children (which occasionally they had called their children) to grow up like he had. He wanted to keep her away from that, keep her real, keep her pure. He wanted to pick a college, far, far, far away and pack up, bring Ally with him and never look back. And maybe eventually they could move to a small town like he said, and have some children and raise them to be safe and real. But now that they had messed things up, Austin thinks he's destined to always be Austin Moon, son of Michael and Michelle Moon, heir to the Moon Empire of Business Corporations and Trusts, A student and they're pushing for Yale.

He doesn't even like Yale.

/ /

Frantic knocking on his door doesn't happen very often, so when it does, Austin is quick to answer. He didn't expect to see Ally there, looking worn-down with tear tracks on her face and what looks to be a large bruise on her arm, standing on his doorstep.

"Ally?"

"I was an idiot," She half-laughs through her tears. "For not taking you up on your running away offer."

He motions to speak but she continues, and he lets her, for once.

"I told him. My dad. I told him everything, how I loved you, how we were secret, how it killed me inside. How you were so different than your reputation let on, how you wanted nothing to do with your parents' business. And he got pissed off, I knew he would. And I ran to my room and hopped down the ladder and came here, and I probably sound like an idiot-"

"Did he kick you out?" Austin asks, still protective and worried about her.

"Well not in any certain terms, but I'm pretty sure he'd like to," She laughs, and Austin wants to laugh with her.

"Do you need a place to stay? Is that why you're here?" He asks, and she looks wounded.

"No. I came here to tell you...wow, it's so stupid now that I think...I just. It was instinct to run here, and it was instinct to come find you because you're Austin, and you know how to fix things, and because I really hate that we fucked things up, because I miss you-"

She never does finish her sentence, because he's kissing her with everything he has, full of promises and i love you's and i'm sorry's and we'll be okay's and you can stay with me tonight or maybe forever's.

They don't know where they're going to go from here. It's all up in the air, if she'll even be allowed back home, if she has money for college. (Though she did apply to a startling amount of scholarship and financial aid programs, so there's a start.) Austin doesn't know how to tell his parents that he doesn't want any part in their shitty business, and both of them heavily consider going to live in some small beach town or inland farm country or maybe a province in Canada. But they're young, they have time to figure this out.

They aren't fixed. They're still broken, and both of them have issues they need to work through. She's still messed up and he's still messed up and what went wrong between them is still messed up. But they'll work through it, get through it. Everything is going to work out, Austin tells her, whispers it against her lips and in her skin. Everything will be alright, she whispers against his padlock tatoo, just for her.

So maybe she isn't an Harvard-bound ice princess. So maybe he's a bit reckless. So maybe they're both fucked up inside. But they fit, they work, they make each other less messed up, less fucked.

She's not so insurgent on her own; and on his own, he's just disobediant. But together, they're the rebellion of a lifetime.

fin.

/ /

AN: Oh my actual god this is just 13k of gibberish oh my actual goodness whoever reads this the whole way through is crazy but I love you!

So on this extremely long note, I'm going to say goodbye. I'm kind of done writing Austin and Ally for the time being...so I guess you could say this was my goodbye fic? If so, this was extremely long. Anyway. Yeah...goodbye. I don't know if I'll write anything else on here because the fandoms I'm in aren't really stuff I want to write about...so yeah. But I'll still be around. Drop me a tweet or PM, yeah?

Big thanks to xXDemiFanForeverXx. She's literal;y become one of my closest friends, and we don't let the ocean or time differences stop us. She's so amazing, and she is the person who inspired me to ever write anything at all. Not kidding, she was my idol on here, and now she's one of my best friends. So this is for you girl, thank you so much for...everything! Hehe!

Anyway. Hope you all liked it! Please review, stay safe, and be happy.

I love you!

xx