An Honorable Man

Summary - A shot across the bows for the next episode – The Squab and the Quail.

Possible spoilers for the TV show (Season 5, Episode 21 or 22 depending upon how you order them)

Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows!
All the other legal stuff applies too.

She found him in an unlit conference room in the precinct. Backed into a corner alone in the dark with his thoughts. Exiled there since Gates had sent him away when he was unable to maintain control earlier. Beckett had gone in search of him as soon as she could get away. As soon as she could escape the knowing look from Gates and glare of disappointment from Esposito who had set Lanie on her. Lanie's angry diatribe down the phone whilst she drove back to the precinct was still ringing in her ears.

She hit the illumination button for AV she bathed the room in a twilight. Was she such a coward she didn't want the full light to show her so fractured and conflicted?

She closed the door behind her and hunched down in front of him. He barely raises his eyes to acknowledge her.

"I let him kiss me". His eyes raise to meet her now.

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to. Her confession has left the truth of it written across his handsome face. There's a curious mix of emotions she can detect – surprise, disappointment, concern.

No anger. No self-pity.

He doesn't say anything. Just waits. Patiently. As he has done for years. Always.

The blue eyes are rimmed with red. She did this and now she needs to fix it.

She starts to voice her thoughts, she hasn't sorted out the jumble of them in her mind, but there isn't time now to wait. No when he needs, deserves an explanation.

"I'm so sorry. This got out of hand so quickly and then Gates ordered you away. I was wrong and all our, well in this case, your friends had your back and told me so.

"I don't know why I let him kiss me.

"He's not you.

"Not the man I want to be with.

"You're an honourable man, Castle. You waited. You never cheated. Despite the temptation. Moreover, whilst you may not have always respected my personal space, but you never sought to break up my relationships with other men.

"I'm scared.

"What if it doesn't last? What if it does?

"I've never been this far in a relationship before.

"But even before today, I knew there was only one for me.

"You."

She falls silent out of words, and her head drops.

He hasn't spoken all this time. Effectively she has been delivering a monologue to the man who normally articulates as most people breathe.

"Kate.

"You're here. Telling me the truth.

"We agreed no more secrets.

"Whatever happened, you are here in front of me.

"You are extraordinary. I have written these words and told you before. But I want to shout it to the world. To tell them about you. Us.

"But you are so much more.

"The mystery I never want to solve.

"The woman I always fall asleep next to, and wake up next to.

"The ying to my yang.

"My Mother's daughter.

"My Daughter's confidant.

"My best friend.

"My Lover

"My Always.

"You too are the most honourable person I know. You actions as a cop and a detective bring justice for the victims and closure for their families.

"I haven't told you enough that I love you. Beyond anything I have ever felt before, aside from Alexis, and more than anything I hope for in the future except for our children. I want it all. With You.

"ONLY YOU.

"So Katherine Houghton Beckett.

"I. LOVE. YOU.

"And if you wish to choose to join me in this journey, you would make me the most honored man alive."

Author's Note

I've been editing the next two chapters of One of Us, and this just kept bouncing through my head interrupting. No idea if it fits or not.