Chapter 8: Laxus the Ever so Perfect Wingman

Laxus Dreyor, the lightening dragon slayer, one fo the strongest in fairy tail, stared at the sight of a salmon haired male arguing with a scarlet.

BAM

The salmon haired man went flying across the guild, not really surprising the scarred blonde. In fact he grinned at the sight of the crator in the wall. The bastard deserved it.

"YOU BITCH!" Natsu screeches angrily, stomping back towards the scarlet haired mage.

Laxus shakes his head at the stupidity. The salmonette may be smart when it comes to using his brain or reading the mood, but when it comes to giving something up...the man is hopeless.

Juvia who sits next to him, sighs at the sight of both Gray and Lucy giggling at one another. A dead expression on her face at the sight of her love interest grinning at the blonde. It almost makes her want to scream.

"JUVIA WHATS WRONG?!" Laxus screeches at the shouting bluenette.

The whole guild is dead silent, and Juvia's still screaming. demanding that her Gray-sama be returned to her, so she can stalk him and blush at his nudity any time she wish.

Natsu, unoffically the leader of this crack team, stalked over to the table, making his way right up to Juvia. Deciding to smack her right across the face. Her screaming becoming unbearable to his and all the dragon slayers in the guild.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN!" he screeches.

The guild remains in the dead of silence. Laxus is gaping at the salmonette. Gray across the guild is absolutely awestruck. Lucy's smirking at his side.

'It's about time that bitch get slapped.' she grins at the gawking gray, whose stiffness is formidable to his magic.

"Wow" is spread throughout the guild. Minus both the happy Gajeel and Wendy who are crying in happiness at the quiet.

Natsu, Juvia and Laxus are now the spot of interest to the agaping guild.

'what the fuck just happened?!' juvia wonders rubbing her slightly pink cheek. she looks at Natsu wide eyed, who in turn just stares.

"NATSU YOU FUCKING DEMON!" Laxus suddenly cries out. "HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST HIT SUCH A GORGEOUS CREATURE!"

Natsu raises a brow. "I thought you were Gay?"

Laxus scowls. "I was being sarcastic-DONT BRING THE DAMN GAYS INTO THIS CONVERSATION YOU HOMOPHOBIC BITCH!"

"LAST TIME I CHECKED I WASN'T A DOGSLAYER! IM A DRAGONSLAYER!"

"Oh so you admit your no better than the women!"

"YOU SEXIST BASTARD!"

"SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

Natsu face-palms, growling into his hand. This group he's in manages to bring out the worst in him. He needs to figure out what the hell he has to do, because somehow...whenever he was with this people, he got no where.

"THAT'S IT! IM JUST GONNA SAY IT!" He screeches.

"WHAT THAT IM LYING ABOUT BEING GAY!" Laxus exclaims.

"I KNEW IT! WHOSE THE HOMOPHOBIC PRICK NOW!"

"I NEVER SAID YOU WERE A PRICK! MAYBE IN PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, BUT IN THIS ONE I NEVER ONCE CALLED YOU A SYNONYM OF A COCK"

"COCK IS ANOTHER SYNONYM FOR PENIS!"

The guild glanced back and forth at the two slayers arguing, sweating as it eventually got worse.

"OH SO YOU ADMIT THAT YOUR MOM IS HOTTER THAN MINE HUH?!" Laxus screeches.

"I NEVER SAID SHIT ABOUT YOU MOM!" Natsu defends.

"FOR SOMEONE WHO SAYS FAMILY IS EVERYTHING, YOU SURE ARE FAMILYLESS!"

"THE GUILD IS MY FAMILY YOU BLONDE PENIS!"

"IM CAUCASIAN THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"YOUR ALSO A PIECE OF SHIT!"

"SAYS THE ONE RAISED BY A DRAGON!"

"FUCK YOU, YA FAKE DRAGON SLAYER!"

"THE CORRECT TERM IS SECOND GENERATION SLAYER!"

"YOU FORGOT TO MENTION DRAGON YOU DUMBASS!"

"WHAT OTHER KIND OF SLAYERS ARE THERE!"

"DEMON, GOD, PROBABLY SOME OTHER BULLSHIT ADD OF SLAYER AND MAYBE A FAIRY SLAYER-!"

"NATSU! I DONT NEED YOUR DUMBASS OPINIONS AT THE MOMENT!" Laxus snarls.

"IT'S NOT A-"

BAM

Natsu rubs a sudden pink spot on his cheek. Staring at a certain bluenette in surpise. Her expression cold and hard. Looking exactly like the time she was in phatom lord.

"Natsu Dragoneel needs to stop being a coward and tell everyone that he's in love with luc-"

BAM

Juvia flies across the guild, blood squirting from her mouth in a fountain.

Natsu gawks at laxus in shock. Laxus merely smirks, blowing his fist in triumph.

The guild decides from that point that it's none of their business.

"Your despicable you know that?" Natsu comments plainly.

"Im only helping you out buddy, and where was juvia...OH-NATSU IS IN LOVE WITH LUCY!" Laxus's scream echoes through out the guild.

"NO SHIT!" Lucy yells in triumph. "YOU OWE ME SEVENTY-THOUSAND JEWEL GAJEEL! MACAO! WAKABA!"

Said old mage only stares in complete shock. " Damn you Natsu! you owe me money kid!"

"FINALLY I DONT HAVE TO PRETEND ANYMORE!" Gray cries out in relief.

"DAMN YOU GRAY!" Erza snarls. "YOU RUINED THE PLAN!"

Natsu stares, absolutely dumbfounded. Laxus screeches in outrage.

"DAMNIT! YOU ALL WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SHOCKED."

"Go fuck yourself kid!" Romeo exclaims.

"Isn't he older than you?" Wendy grumbles.

"SALAMANDER WHY COULDNT YOU BE IN LOVE WITH LISANNA!" Gajeel rages.

"WHY COULDNT YOU BE IN LOVE WITH GRAY!" Wakaba cries.

"WHY COULDNT YOU BE IN LOVE WITH ZEREF, YOU LITTLE FUCK!"

Natsu opens his mouth to answer, only to double take to macao. "YOU SICK OLD MAN! THAT'S MY OLDER BROTHER!"

"That doesnt mean you can't be in love with him," Macao points out as if it's the most obivous thing in the world.

Natsu rolls his eyes at that logic. Having nothing against incest...it's just not his fetish.

"Sorry but im into that shit..."

"YOU CAN AT LEAST LIE AND SAY YOU ARE! I'D BE SEVENTY-THOUSAND JEWEL RICHER IF YOU HAD!"

"Sorry...but can you forget that i even told you that zerefs my brother...i want it to be a surprise for the bastard when i kill him,"

This time it was the guild time to be disturbed. hell even in another continent Zeref felt disturbed, but he couldnt pin point why.

"Your gonna kill your own brother?" Laxus cringes.

Natsu nods. "Yeah im aiming for it to be the saddest death in anime...hell i might even add some tears and a hug in that scene,"

The guild stares at him. 'why the fuck is this guy fairy tail's heart' everyone but lucy wonders.

"THAT IS SO ADORABLE!" Lucy squeals, speeding up to the pinkette.

Natsu blinks in surprise. "Really? i thought it was selfish and slightly disturbing,"

"No, i think it's so Sasuke-like to want to kill your older brother,"

The fire dragon-slayer stares. "Marry me," he offers suddenly.

"...whats in it for me?" the blonde grumbles.

"...i dont know..." Natsu scratches his head.

"the sex" Laxus suggest to him in a whisper.

Natsu mouths a thank you, before turning to the blonde and saying. "The intercourse,"

Lucy deadpans. "Fine i'll marry-"

BAM

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR GRAY!" Natsu screeches rubbing his cheek.

Before anyone can say anything, Gray pounce on the salmonette. eloping him in a tight embrace, arms around his neck, legs around his waist.

"Gray-" The salmonette is cut off by the ice mage's lips sealing his.

It the guilds turn to stare at the two, especially when the dragon slayer starts kissing back. Lucy faints from a sudden blood loss. Juvia is crying on the floor. Laxus is once again staring at mira's ass. Lisanna smacks laxus across the face.

Gray finally pulls away, leaving a breathless Natsu. The ice Mage smirks knowingly.

"You wanna continue this else-"

"Do you even need to ask..." The salmonette groans, running to the nearest closet.

As the door slams, and object clatter behind the door. Wakaba looks towards both a shocked macao and a regaining consious lucy.

"I do believe you guys owe me seventy-thousand..."

DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL

AND FINALLY FINISHED WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY!

and I know that some will not be happy...I was just putting out a chapter eight for now to figure out a way for it to end in Nalu...I migt be adding a chapter nine...probably...AND IM NOT PERVERTED IM RANDOM. Oh and if you guys want some Nalu im working on a Drabble like story called my best friend END

That is definitely a Nalu and not gratsu

...but I must add it really sucks when you like one person with two different people so...anyone who knows this feeling can figure what I'm talking about and randomness can basically go anywhere and I warned you this would be random...plus I added crackiness !

Also, I put it as complete because it is for now, Im working on the END fic and a couple others on the side... So I've got a full schedule and school is starting for me soon so I might be a little side tracked but I'll get it done OH AND I NEVER SAID THIS WAS A NALU and I will change the romance to parody... Lol