Okay so here's an embarrassing fic that sees Aomine and Kuroko being quite the nymphomaniacs. It's weird for me to write things like this because there's sex and because I usually love a lot more the lovey-dovey-ty of my ships. But there needs to be some fics where they're just careless hormonal boys that enjoy the discovery of sex and always think about doing it RIGHT? ;w;'' STOP WITH THE ANGGSTTT (no okay there is some angst even in here but still). Ah, warnings for COMPLETELY FUCKED UP PRESENT-PAST TENSES I'M AFRAID I AM SORRY

Betaed by Airway Statics (sui on AO3)

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some things that are bound to happen
if you spend too much time having sex with your boyfriend

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So it's kind of funny how convenient and vaguely providential it is that most of the year both of Tetsu's parents are occupied with business trips or enjoying fortuitous vacations in the farthest of lands during the most debatable of months.

From what he gathered from the light chats he and Tetsu shared between practice and their way home in the far Teikō days – he hazily remembers it had sounded like an epic love story when Tetsu had told it, regardless that his soothing narration had been very far from even trying to sound captivating – it appears they are some sort of sales representatives, if not something even more pompous, like 'traveling financial ambassadors', who met each other twenty years earlier while working for the same agency and fell in love after their combined forces had brought the big job they had been partnered up for to its successful end. But the hard and wearing work that constantly has them edgy with the need to run away from the bustle of cities, accompanied by opportunely peculiar working schedules, induces them to use their chances for free time for even more outside activities, such as spending their days hiking the Matsuyama mountains or poolside in some isolated resort in the east of Tōhoku, bathing in the sun.

From what Tetsu told him, his parents did ask him from time to time to come with them on the rare occasions school didn't present a problem with its obligations; but Tetsu usually refused, since he reckoned all of that wasn't really his thing – which Daiki could easily understand and nod to with such enthusiastic approval that Satsuki considered it appropriate to elbow him in the side, implicitly prompting him to show some tact. But what could he do: it was peachy to have Tetsu there playing basketball with him every single day of middle school after all, and he had made a point of thanking god from time to time to have made Tetsu not so interested in hiking.

And even if he gets the feeling Tetsu isn't as indifferent to his parents' constant absence as he seems to be when he talks about them – no, okay, it was Satsuki who suggested the possibility years before and it seemed a plausible theory at the time – nowadays, Daiki still can't complain about Tetsu's familiar situation one bit, although the reasons may be partially different from middle school, given what he and Tetsu ended up becoming.

Because, much to his vexation, he has to coexist with the exact opposite problem where his own parents are concerned: two pestering, annoying Satsuki-worshippers seldom out of the house, aside from their working hours that, however, tragically match his Touou classes' timetable.

And Satsuki of course wouldn't let them borrow her house for carrying out their activities. He asked her once, when he had been really desperate to be with Tetsu, everyone's parents except Satsuki's had been home and he hadn't fancied the idea of an umpteenth hotel room. She swiftly refused, even before he could come up with valid material to bribe her.

But, aside from those rare exceptions, as long as Tetsu's parents keep their jobs and don't get fired, he and Tetsu will usually have a place where they can do whatever the hell they want without being disturbed by unpleasant cockblocking acts.

Sure enough, when, after a week of not seeing and not touching each other due to school exams, Tetsu calls him asking if he wants to come over for the night and at his disinterested question of, "Are your parents home?" Tetsu answers with a placid, "They're on a business trip," he closes the call with a small grin. Then, he carefully hides his whole Mai magazine collection under his bed; he disentangles his legs from the bundle of sheets and exits his room; he passes his parents with affected nonchalance, grabs his jacket from the coat rack and, the second he's out of the door, sprints out of his front yard riding his bike as fast as fuck, barely acknowledging Satsuki who, in that moment, is coincidentally coming back from where the hell ever and entering her own yard. When she asks him where he is going at that speed, he just concedes her a quick "Tetsu!"

He also thinks he hears her yelling "What?! Wait, bring me with you!" but he can't be that sure since, by then, he's already two blocks away from her.

When he reaches Tetsu's front door, having ridden like mad all the way from his home in record time, he still has the miraculous strength to raise a hand and ring the bell, despite the fact that he can't stand upright anymore and his breaths are more like wheezes now.

But Daiki figures that training daily for basketball surely has its advantages if it takes him less than half a minute to regain full control of his lungs and stamina and five more to have Tetsu sprawled under him on the comfy couch of the living room, naked and gasping soundlessly with every harsh jerk of Daiki's hips, one knee propped on Daiki's shoulder and the other thrown to the side, dangling haphazardly as Tetsu's arms grab him by the neck and pull him into a fervent kiss that has Daiki moaning all the more and blurting out an "I love you" that he sincerely didn't plan to say.

Tetsu opens his eyes then and doesn't answer him, because Tetsu likes to say it with a serious tone, a straight face and generally with clothes on. Unlike him who, as Satsuki kindly put it once – and Daiki can't fathom how she knows it because he definitely doesn't talk to her about it; he doesn't even talk to himself about it – apparently can't spit it out 'unless he has his dick shoved in somewhere'. Daiki still firmly refuses to acknowledge any truthfulness in that statement.

The enthralling thing about Daiki saying it, though, is that it always brings Tetsu over the edge in the span of a few seconds.

He had failed to notice this relevant detail the first few times, since he was usually too busy or frowning in shock because he had never said it before and he surely hadn't thought of saying it like this—or coming himself. And indeed, Tetsu groans a little higher and a little louder and his whole body trembles in a shiver of pleasure that makes his spine arch off the couch and the back of his head press into the cushions, exposing his neck to Daiki's eager mouth, a clear call for him to sink his teeth into the tender skin there before he pulls out and lowers Tetsu's legs to sluggishly climb on top of him.

Coming onto Tetsu's face is actually just one of the avalanche of kinks he has developed with the birth and, consequently, the constant intensification of his sex life over the year – intensification that has gained him an unnecessary amount of unsolicited advice from the least acceptable of people.

Such as Kise, who sometimes pats his shoulder and pleads with him to let Tetsu discover the world outside the bedroom, rolling his eyes hard when Daiki smirks back at him and points out they do have lots of sex outside the bedroom; or fucking Wakamatsu, of all people, who, when Tetsu comes to Touou to fetch him after practice, has the gall to yell at them to stop spreading their sexual tension throughout the whole fucking gym; or Satsuki, who warns him daily against the cons of being a nymphomaniac and throws in snide remarks about how he doesn't need to make up for the two years he snubbed Tetsu all in one go – though she refrains from that particular comment now, ever since Daiki left her alone in the middle of the mall and shunned her for the whole day after she had said it.

As if the number of times he and Tetsu have sex is public domain. How the fuck do people know, seriously. "It's your face," Kagami said once, "and sometimes the way you move," but that sounded like a very far-fetched explanation, because Daiki's pretty sure sex doesn't fucking change facial features. Furthermore, he and Tetsu aren't that obvious, and it's not like they have sex in public for them all to notice—not daily anyway.

He doesn't get why absolutely everyone believes he's the perverted one, either; as if it took only one to have sex. He wonders why it is so difficult for them to believe Tetsu is generally okay having sex anywhere just as much as he is. Indeed, another kink he has and knows Tetsu enjoys as much as he does, is fucking Tetsu up against a wall in places like the locker rooms, for example; a kink he coincidentally discovered the day Satsuki had refused to let them do it in her house – kind of a funny story, now that he thinks back to it – because it turned out Tetsu is just the perfect height to fit against Daiki with arms latched around his neck and ankles firmly locked behind his waist. It's also surprisingly easy for Daiki to lift him up and keep him there, although it happens sometimes that Daiki's knees tremble so much from it all – the pleasure, Tetsu, how good he looks with his face flushed and his half-lidded eyes fucking glowing in contrast with his skin – that they have to finish it on the ground.

And what would they say if they knew Tetsu really likes being a feisty little tease in public and playing the game of 'be quite unless you want to get caught' – which comes dismally easy to him but not so much to Daiki, who always ends up biting his lip to the point it almost bleeds.

There is also one kink they both had liked – well, he had loved it – until sometime before, that was having Tetsu wear his Touou jersey; far too big on him, Daiki knew, but that was all the better for him, since he adored the way one sleeve tended to fall off a shoulder and Tetsu's pale thighs stuck out from underneath the hem that covered just that tad bit too much.

When they first tried it out – in the very Touou locker rooms, indeed – he considered his liking obvious due to the common but fanciful idea of Tetsu wearing something of his. He had assumed it could have been anything, any worn shirt in his wardrobe – although the jersey, Daiki had thought in a streak of mind-blowing poeticalness, of all his clothes was surely the one that best represented him—them. After all, his and Tetsu's lives, like the jersey, had always beenabout basketball.

But there was this one time… a few months before when, out of boredom, he not-so-subtly sneaked into Tetsu's high school's gym to attend the final minutes of the basketball team's training.

His appearance caused a major uprising amongst the block of opposing Seirin players and, even so, he still managed to join them as they slipped into the locker rooms to change at the end of the day, albeit accompanied by a yell of "Aren't wee seeing around here a bit too often?! Are you trying to steal information?" – to which he had offhandedly responded that that was what Satsuki was good at. Note that pleasantly drained some of the flushed color off the face of that four-eyed nuisance, for Satsuki did come there quite often.

So he just stayed there, scrutinizing everyone with bored eyes while casually draped over Tetsu, the latter trying to shove him off in order to change. Under the nervous, questioning stares of some of Seirin team's new entries, he listened to the soothing laugh that huge goofy-head let out everytime he laid eyes on Daiki, as well as the sweet sound of a fuming Kagami spouting obscenities at him that now and then mingled with English because Kagami is so stupid he doesn't even realize when no one understands him anymore.

And when Seirin's ace disappeared into the showers, Daiki saw his Seirin jersey half-drooping out of his open locker and got hit by the unfathomable impulse of snatching it away and hiding it in Kuroko's gym bag.

He did just that, fast as lightning and massively weirded-out by himself and his hands moving on their own. But before he could stop himself and put it back, Kagami had come back and eyed him with a half-suspicious, half-intrigued stare that Daiki repaid with a lazy smirk.

He went away with Tetsu after that, sharing an unusual, fragmented silence because of Daiki's impossibility to focus on a conversation all the way to Tetsu's house – his parents were away, again.

At some point in the early evening, Tetsu temporarily disappeared inside the bathroom and Daiki took the chance to reach for the other's gym bag, pull out the jersey and slowly try it on, checking himself out in the narrow mirror inside Tetsu's wardrobe. So when Tetsu exited the bathroom, he found Daiki already half naked and sending him what was supposed to be a seductive smirk that Daiki, however, felt involuntarily lopsided, as if he couldn't really bring the corners of his mouth fully up.

He kind of expected Kuroko's unmerciful punch greeting his guts then – Tetsu's peculiar way of indicating when Daiki heavily trespassed the boundaries of 'acceptable kinks'. What he hadn't expected, though, was the long, quiet hug that followed when Tetsu closed his eyes and embraced his waist, hiding his face in the white-red jersey covering Daiki's chest, unexplainably upsetting Daiki so much his heart started beating so fast he was surprised Tetsu didn't complain about the noise.

When Tetsu told him to give it back, voice muffled by the fabric but clear enough for Daiki to hear the strain in it, he slowly nodded, wordlessly.

(It did help that specific Seirin-related kink to sink down when Tetsu pulled away and added in a deadpan tone that managed to restore a breathable atmosphere, "Do you really want me to think about Kagami as we do it." He's never reached for the back of a shirt and thrown it on the floor as fast as that time, even considering he had slowed it down to seem less distressed about it. He may have stomped on it once or twice for good measure, too, when Tetsu turned around.)

He finally understood what had crossed Tetsu's mind that evening when, a week later, he was invited again to Tetsu's and he asked him to have sex in his jersey for the fourth time. As he sat on the edge of Tetsu's bed, propped on his hands and still fully clothed, he watched Tetsu slip the black jersey over his head and let the hem fall down to his hips dressed in basketball shorts. He stared yearningly, following the curves of Tetsu's shoulder blades as they disappeared under the black fabric and Tetsu's back flexing with the movement of his arms, until something in him just snapped.

"Come to Touou with me."

Honestly, he hadn't meant to say it. He had just blurted it out before he could think better of it. He was not even sure he wanted that, since Tetsu going to another school and being his rival had basically been the reason he had managed to help Daiki at all; and whenever Daiki thinks of the next potential match against Seirin, his blood boils as if it was resting on a burner and it wouldn't be the same if Tetsu wasn't there, moving like a shadow among all the players and ready to challenge him to his fullest—

But sometimes, almost without realizing it, he wondered, and still does.

What it would have been like if Tetsu had come to Touou with him, or if he had gone to Seirin instead; what if they could have still played together like old times—because some days he wants it so bad he feels like that's all he could ever ask for in his life.

He didn't understand why it stung so much when he realized Tetsu had thought about it too – surely had thought about it when he had seen Daiki in Seirin's jersey with his partner's number printed on it.

But once he said it, there was no use taking it back. His mouth, anyway, wouldn't shut up.

He licked his upper lip nervously as he fought to keep his gaze trained unwaveringly on Tetsu, whose eyes were suddenly lit with stark, unreadable intensity, as if he was expecting him to continue.

"We still have almost a year of championships."

He tried to no avail to gulp down the heavy knot that had subtly grown like a parasite in his throat, tightening all the more when Tetsu walked up to him and, silently, cupped his face in his pale hands.

"There's the InterHigh… and the Winter Cup." Tetsu tilted his head up, looking right at him with his soulful blue stare that bored holes into Daiki's sanity as his voice became fainter and hoarser with every word he spoke.

"We can win the Nationals, together," Daiki added a moment before Tetsu closed the gap and brushed their lips together so softly it hurt. As Daiki squeezed his burning eyes shut and pressed his mouth harder against Tetsu's in a wistful kiss, reaching for Tetsu's waist and dragging him down on the bed with him, Tetsu never answered him. But, well, Daiki wasn't so stupid to misunderstand Tetsu's subtle ways of saying things, along with the eloquent expression in his eyes before he had kissed Daiki that had said, 'You know I won't.' Daiki knew, but that didn't stop him from asking.

After that, they had never used the jersey again, but Daiki still had – and has nowadays – lots of kinks up his sleeve to try out.

As far as he knows, Tetsu doesn't particularly like this specific 'coming on face' thing. But one of the many wonderful things about Tetsu is that he actually indulges a lot of Daiki's sexual requests.

Daiki doesn't even feel reluctant to ask in fear of imposing on him anymore, since Tetsu never shows any problems with giving him a firm, dry 'no' when he doesn't fancy the offers; nor has he with punching him in the stomach for that matter, when he finds them to be inadvisable on many different levels and thinks Daiki should have those boundaries retread physically on him. Furthermore, Daiki has become good at understanding when he can insist some more or has to let it go; it isn't that difficult to interpret Tetsu's degrees of refusal if Daiki has his face in sight.

But the point is, he finds the lengths Tetsu is okay to go to make him happy quite alluring – and, well, Tetsu himself knows that Daiki is no stranger to the concept of 'reciprocating a favor'.

So he doesn't know which he likes more: the part where he sees Tetsu's face covered in his come; when he licks it off as Tetsu breathes hard in his post-orgasmic boneless state or the fact that Tetsu lets him do it because Daiki likes it.

Now that he's brought to think about it by the circumstances, though, what is not wonderful about Tetsu is probably the position of the couch in his house: almost visible from the entrance but not near enough to let them hear the sound of the door opening and closing – or maybe that's just because Daiki's too distracted by Tetsu's moans and his throbbing erection threatening to burst if he doesn't come right then. He can't know.

There are a lot of things that may look very wrong from a mother's perspective – from the absence of a condom to Daiki squashing her son under his huge body making him bend almost in half until two seconds before and now with his cock not far away from said son's mouth and his hands firmly pinning Tetsu's wrists above his head. It doesn't help that Tetsu's mother probably doesn't know yet that they have sex on a regular basis, since Tetsu told her only a month before that he was gay and they had hooked up – when in reality it had already been ten months, omitting the stage of pining and testing of waters that had been going on for even longer – so he doubts Tetsu has already hinted at their sex life to her; he looks like a supporter of the 'one thing at a time' approach.

It's even more in his disfavor that she isn't a big fan of her son's boyfriend anymore after all the middle school drama, even if Tetsu always kindly denies it all when Daiki hints at it – not that Daiki can blame her, anyway.

So he doesn't realize she's been standing about two meters away from them with her inconspicuous height of five foot two, the handle of a huge bag digging into her shoulder and the epitome of facial masks made of artificial stolidity plastered on her sharp features.

He doesn't realize it until Tetsu notices her – Daiki has no idea how, given how Tetsu was intently staring at him; he supposes it's because the sneakiness that clearly runs in the family can be uncovered only by said family's members – and says in a strained, upset groan, "Mom!"

Which sounds extremely wrong and out of context to Daiki's clueless ears, until he snaps his head up and sees her too. For a sad coincidence, he comes while looking right into Tetsu's mother's icy blue eyes – quite a scarring experience once he realizes they are scarily akin to Tetsu's.

While he's stuck on the spot, partially from shock and partially because his orgasm makes his muscles go jelly-like to the point his arms shake with it in waves along with his whole back, Tetsu proves to be the one with good reflexes in the critical moments and moves faster than him. Struggling desperately for a few seconds to free his hands from Daiki's petrified hold, he dashes up and powerfully shoves Daiki's heavy body off of him and onto the floor, helping himself with some nice legwork and a twist of hips as he sits up and yanks the shirt draped over the back of the couch over his lower parts.

Daiki, instead, can only sloppily roll away with a dismayed "Fuck!" since his body seems to have lost the ability to function properly. The effort of sitting up that follows, pointedly giving Tetsu's mother his back, is apparently the hardest thing he's ever done.

At that point Tetsu, who is sporting that funny, wide-eyed expression that looks like he's upset but it's actually embarrassment mixed with a substantial amount of frustration, is already engaged in a silent staring contest of stern eyes against his mother, so intense Daiki gathers that they must be having a telepathic showdown – from which he is very content to be left out from as he tries to convince himself that the only reason Tetsu's mother would be upset is because they were doing it on the family couch instead of Tetsu's bed.

As he hopes that the Jurassic Park technique of staying still as a rock to go unseen by the enemy isn't just a fictional invention for the sake of plot – although he has reason to believe it would work only with someone like Tetsu – he notices how Tetsu visibly calms down, until he has the guts to even offer her mother a mild scowl. Daiki feels like advising him to wipe that smear of come he has sliding down the side of his jaw off to make it more effective, but thinks it may not be the right thing to say. He keeps his lips tightly shut.

"And the business trip?" Tetsu asks with a voice so controlled, Daiki feels a pang of awe towards his boyfriend.

"It got canceled," his mom answers in the same tone and Daiki's awe is promptly replaced with dread. "Your father is parking the car."

He wonders for a second whether it would have been better if Tetsu's mother had found them doing it the other way around. Maybe Tetsu's mom likes the idea of Tetsu being fucked senseless and giving blowjobs to his boyfriend a lot less than vice versa. If it had been Tetsu the one topping, maybe his mother's reaction would have been something along the lines of "That's my son!"

Maybe for the next few times at Tetsu's home they should stick to that way, just to be sure.

As Daiki realizes that Tetsu himself may currently be hating him since he had been the one to coax him into having sex right away instead of going to play basketball like Tetsu had wanted, Tetsu's mother's eyes snap towards him, vivid and ardent, proving the scientific theory inaccurate and instantly making Daiki very fidgety and self-conscious – a feeling Daiki doesn't experience in front of others as often as Satsuki prays daily he will.

"I should go?" he offers, finally reconnecting to his body again and reaching for the jeans strewn on the carpet; probably the most correct thing he's done in a while.

"Please do, darling." Tetsu's mother's words are even, collected, and Daiki doesn't know if he has to take that term of endearment as a sign of kindness and, most importantly, absence of undiluted hatred, or as a sweet trap to make him feel safe and unprepared for the eventual swift stab in the back he's going to get the moment he turns around.

As he stands up, messily half-dressed and on the way to the door, he murmurs an uncertain, "I'll call you later?"

For a moment, he's afraid Tetsu's mom will answer "No, darling, don't do that".

But Tetsu turns to him, instead, and nods mechanically; Daiki can't be sure if the look he's giving him is one of sympathy or annoyance. Either way, he is not going to talk about kinks for a while.

When he closes the door behind him, he takes in the deepest breath he's ever inhaled in one go. As he fights down the sudden rush of oxygen to his head, he decides that it's okay if Kise mysteriously comes to know all the contents of his sexual schedule, down to the last detail; but this one story must not reach his ears, ever, or else the fucker would spend the rest of his days wheezing in laughter in Daiki's face.

And as if that wasn't enough, when Daiki takes frustrated strides out of Tetsu's front yard – his mind busy wondering what it would be like if from now on he and Tetsu could only see each other from a balcony and had to climb up and down from it to touch, and nothing about it sounds as fascinating or romantic as it would for Satsuki – he crosses path with Tetsu's father, who happily waves at him and asks him with a broad, clueless smile if he's going away. Daiki, trying hard to hide his chagrin, can only answer him with a raspy and very uncharacteristic, "Yes sir."

He completely forgets the bike.

.

And that is, unfortunately, not the last time it happens. It becomes some weird, very unwanted constant in their life, to be found in some degree of nudity or arousal and possibly doing each other. Maybe that's because of the two of them getting exceedingly bolder with the locations – maybe Tetsu giving him a blowjob in the shower stalls at the swimming pool when the whole Touou team had come with them wasn't the best idea ever – but still, it's kind of frustrating.

In the end, Kise and more people than he had feared come to know about the incident with Tetsu's mother. When Daiki asks Kise how the hell he found out, Kise laughs and points an accusing finger towards Satsuki, who has the decency to blush a bit before conceding a doubtful, "Tetsu-kun's mom?"

A detail that has Daiki choking on his saliva for five minutes.

"She phoned my mother, Dai-chan. She wanted to know if you were forcing Tetsu to go too fast for him or things like that," Satsuki explains with an embarrassed smile. "But don't worry. I managed to convince her you're good enough for him, after I explained to her how you make bad life decisions without Tetsu and how you look miserable when he's not around and how much you adore him even if you only show it when you think no one can notice. And other stuff, like… Well. Stuff."

That final 'and stuff' scares Daiki more than he can speak of but, despite being angry at Satsuki for spitting out stupid stories right in Tetsu's mother's ears, he guesses she could have told her worse things.

Kise takes that same chance to reveal to him that most of the people he knows have caught them having sex at least once or, if they haven't, they inferred it. From what Kise affirms, Daiki apparently hasn't understood that if he disappears into a bathroom with his boyfriend for ten minutes and comes out of it looking disheveled from head to toe, it comes easy to make hypotheses – the right ones.

The curious thing is, it appears that people catch them doing it only when Daiki is topping.

Putting two and two together, Daiki finally realizes the reason why everyone accuses him of tiring Tetsu out too much – which makes him snicker and groan at the same time because Tetsu tops him nearly as much and sometimes, when he does it, he leaves Daiki unable to move his legs afterwards.

They get caught by Daiki's mother too, once, as Tetsu is riding him and Daiki is moaning Tetsu's name with every thrust – vastly unfortunate for Tetsu, since he has been fucking the hell out of Daiki for the whole week. Indeed, Tetsu stays quite upset for the whole day after that, muttering in a low voice about 'uncovering conspiracies'.

It isn't as embarrassing as the time with Tetsu's mother, though. Maybe it is because it's his mother and not the overly judging and distrustful one of his boyfriend; maybe it's the fact that she enters the room, blinks once, twice, and then flutters away in a cloud of inappropriate giggles as Daiki throws a pillow at her and shouts to get the hell out.

Then comes the day when Tetsu finally gets his revenge – if it can be called revenge; probably not.

From the first second, the morning starts off shining on him with propitious signs: his parents miraculously decide to take a weekend-long trip somewhere in the middle of nowhere and he not only stands victorious in his refusal of going with them but, also, to celebrate their departing, he finally buys the pair of handcuffs that caught his attention the previous afternoon in the shady sexy shop in the center.

He's surprised Tetsu is initially reluctant to the idea; he can't figure out why Tetsu wouldn't like it, when they've done weirder stuff. But together with some light kissing and a bit of coaxing on his part, Daiki telling him "I trust you to make it feel really good," apparently turns out to be the right thing to say to achieve Tetsu's consent, along with Tetsu's unfairly rare half-assed smirk that manages to run straight to Daiki's groin.

The day they're having crazy good sex in his bedroom, with so much teasing on Tetsu's part that Daiki almost regrets having asked him to use the handcuffs – almost – is also the day Daiki officially decides he's had enough, when a chirping Satsuki bursts into the room very much uninvited, accompanied by Daiki's suddenly least desired person in the whole world, who takes in the scene of him sprawled on his stomach and cuffed to the footboard with Tetsu lying on him, cock pleasantly sunk into Daiki's ass, with an unnerving, painfully familiar, smirk.

"Well, what do we have here," Imayoshi purrs, foxy eyes glinting mischievously behind his glasses.

As Daiki suspected, it is vaguely more frustrating to be found bottoming someone in compromising kink-derived positions instead of vice versa, all the more by someone he may hate a bit and really didn't want to be seen by in that specific state. He feels Tetsu stilling inside him, probably gobsmacked like Daiki had been the other time and thinking of how he's supposed to react now.

That pause annoys Daiki so much he almost tells Tetsu to continue because seriously, at this point, fuck everything, he doesn't care anymore. He has some questions threatening to fall off the tip of his tongue, the existential kind, like, what is wrong with people, where the people who walked in on sexual intercourse and instantly ran away with air-piercing shrieks went and why Imayoshi and Satsuki are still in the doorway, still not leaving.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" in the end Daiki growls between pants as he wipes off the thin layer of sweat on his forehead with his forearm and then looks up again—and notices how Satsuki has come out of her shell-shocked phase only to blatantly stare at Tetsu – whom, indeed, Daiki feels squirming uncomfortably on him. He has half an idea to tell her Tetsu is his boyfriend and that she can fucking stop ogling at him, but Imayoshi beats him.

"Satsuki-san thought I could say hi since I temporarily came home from college," he elucidates evenly. "But I reckon you have your stuff to do… or be done by."

"Damn well I do," Daiki groans, ignoring the aggravating sassiness and already resuming his grinding against the mattress because why the fuck not. "By the way, Satsuki, you're not allowed to enter this house ever again."

Satsuki and Tetsu let out a "Daiki!" so synchronized it's amusing – though Satsuki is just pissed off, while Tetsu's sounds kind of pained.

The invective ready on Satsuki's tongue – who seems to have already forgotten they're having sex, for fuck's sake – is promptly blocked by Imayoshi's timely hand slapping over her open mouth. "There there, Satsuki," Imayoshi chants as he directs her and himself out of the door and starts closing it behind his back. "Let them be. It's nice to know that there's someone who can tame that beast."

"I am not getting tamed, you fucking—" Daiki's yell of protest gets unfairly lost in a throaty moan as Tetsu, the little fucker, decides that the door clicking shut is the signal to go back to his ministrations.

"Next time," Daiki groans while he pushes his forehead against the covers and moans again in the sheets, "we're gonna buy a hotel room and move there."

"I agree," Tetsu breathes, before he hits the right spot inside Daiki again and Daiki throws every thought about Imayoshi – his fucking annoying face, his suspicious way of calling Satsuki, and why Satsuki would be interested to know when Imayoshi comes back to town – right out of the window.

.

Momoi knows everything because after getting over Tetsu, she became an aokuro fangirl and heavily pesters Kuroko about his relationship since Aomine refuses to tell her anything.

Also, when people ask Kuroko to hang out and Kuroko can't because he's somewhere with Aomine and has just had sex with him and doesn't feel like going out – or someone tries to talk with him on the phone but he is too tired for that too – he can't think of a good lie so he just goes for "I'm sorry. I just had sex and I'm exhausted. Talk to you later." And since Kise and Momoi are the ones who pester him the most via message, that's why they know. Aomine has no idea.

And to Kagami, who sometimes asks Kuroko why he's so distracted, Kuroko replies embarrassedly "Sorry. It's just that I had sex with Aomine last night and…"

To which Kagami answers with "IF YOU'RE THAT EMBARRASSED ABOUT SAYING IT DON'T FUCKING SAY IT—I MEAN DON'T SAY IT ANYWAY I DON'T WANT TO KNOW OKAY"