Happy (belated) birthday Zany, that is, Indigo-Night-Wisp

Kid_fic

Roy didn't like Artemis. She was a brat and stupid and a girl. He didn't know why Ollie and Dinah adopted her too when they already had him. He was better and bigger than her and not a girl. He didn't like it when they smiled at her instead of him, or hugged her, or gave her candy, or made him take her to play with his friends.

They were his friends, and she couldn't have them too.

"Hi," Dick said smiling, having spotted her when she approached the jungle gym with Roy and the way she hung back. "I'm Dick, and you can play with us, and we'll be friends and eat cookies at my house, okay?"

Artemis stared at the upside down boy, then glanced at Roy who was frowning at her, then back at the little boy and smiled.

"Okay."

Dick laughed, delighted to have a new friend, and Roy watched with a pout as he went around introducing Artemis to Kal, Wally, and Conner.

Cooner looked at her and said solemnly, "Now we can have even teams."

Wally flailed his arms and said, "But she's a girl!"

And Artemis screwed up her face in a scowl, balled her fist, and punched him in the gut. Robin laughed while Kal kept Artemis from pummeling Wally, who was on the ground gaping like a fish.

Roy still didn't like her, but as Conner moved to help Kal hold her back, he decided that he would be nicer.

Supernatural

Artemis ran through the forest, leaped over downed tree trunks like a gazelle, disregarding branches that caught at her face and hair. The moon was high and full, deep shadows cast all around. The prey and the hunt surged through the trees.

Artemis of the Hunt.

Artemis was the hunt.

Literally.

The howling, pounding pack behind her gave her cause to ignore the burn in her lungs and legs and push harder. She burst into a starlit clearing moments before a massive wolf easily the size of sports car lunged after her. Artemis dropped and slid like a pro baseball player as an arrow flew over her head and embedded halfway into the wolf's skull, dropping it instantly.

Three more wolves followed, and six more silver-forged arrows were launched at them from the treeline. All but one fell, charging in a bloodied rage over its fallen pack straight toward Artemis.

"Down, boy."

She raised her crossbow and loosed no less than half a dozen arrows into its face. It took one final bound before it realized it was dead, skidding to a stop a foot away from the blonde hunter's boots, ground shaking.

Two men walked out of the treeline headed for her but stayed alert for signs of other werewolves. The older, blond man offered Artemis a hand up. As she brushed herself off, she glared death at the smirking, red-haired teen.

"Next time, you're wolf bat. No rock, paper, scissors."

"You just say that because you lose," Roy scoffed.

"You cheat!" She said, jabbing Roy in the chest.

He smacked her hand away. "Brat."

"Jerk."

"B-"

"Oh, children," Ollie said, holding up a box of matches and a bag full out high-grade alcohol. "Let's stop bickering and help Daddy get rid of the beasties."

Labyrinth

The guy had the most ridiculously impressive hair Ollie had ever seen. He was dressed in black leather, and if that wasn't enough of a clue to his alignment, he most definitely had an Evil Smirk.

Also, weirdly, there was glitter.

Everywhere.

"You have got to be kidding!" He said desperately. "I didn't -"

"Mean it? No, of course not, no one ever says what they mean. But what's said is-"

"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!"

"Yes...well. Let's skip the dramatics as they will obviously be wasted entirely on you and get to the point. You've the choice of your dreams or a tiny, miniscule chance to try and save the girl by running my terribly difficult labyrinth in thirteen hours.

"But I thought you were -"

"If you say 'retired', I will do something uncharacteristically violent, like beat you with a chicken. What. Do. You. Choose?"

Ollie thought of a small, wheelchair-bound, Vietnamese woman. He thought about how he didn't want to be fed his own liver by said woman, and that made his choice very obvious.

"Bring it on, dude."

The Goblin King's eyebrow twitched irritably, his hand flicked meaningfully, and his kingdom appeared glitteringly.

"For the record, I hope the Fierys eat you."

Vacation

"Someone kill me now," Roy muttered.

Ollie had been harassing him, about how they'd lost touch after he defected from him and the Team and went his own way, turned out to be a clone and traitor, and spent the last five years trying to find the original and completely shutting him out. He hadn't even known that Roy was married.

Initially, Jade thought it was funny until he started showing up at the apartment all of the time, like he didn't own and run a Fortune 500 company, and flirting with her because he had no other way to communicate with women. She told (threatened) him to just go with him before she accidentally stabbed him. So Roy went.

Which was a mistake. Because Ollie, apparently going through some kind of mid-life crisis that Dinah had failed to warn him about, had not only wheedled Artemis and Harper into this, he also had a gigantic RV.

Because, at some point when no one was looking, Ollie had lost his mind.

"I propose a suicide pact," Harper said.

"How about," Artemis drawled, "I just kill all of you and go home."

Ollie was obliviously happy to his proteges' dubious (non-existent) excitement. "This is gonna be great, you guys. I'm really glad you call could make it. It just really means a lot to me to have all my kids, and yeah, I know I'm not your dad, but...well, you're still my kids."

That was when they lost all hope.

Artemis forced a smile. "That's so...great."

Ollie beamed and urged them to come inside, unpack, look around, make themselves at home because it would be for the next four weeks!

"Yeah, this is gonna end in tears," Harper said but marched inside anyway.

Post Finale

Ollie hadn't been that close to Wally and had long given up any pretense of being Artemis' uncle. But he was still her mentor, and her father was a giant wad. So that left some father-figure tasks to him.

He had been the one to sit the boy down and threaten him with psychological and physical trauma when he started dating Artemis He had flown to Gotham to give her his credit card so she could buy a prom dress and see her off that night, threatening him again for good measure. He had been the one to totally freak out when they announced that they were moving in together.

And it was him (and Paula) that Wally had asked permission to marry Artemis, a question he hadn't gotten the chance to ask Before.

It made sense then that he was there for her to (not) cry on his shoulder After.

Fluff

It starts with Roy stumbling into the kitchen after a long night patrolling and everyone crashes at Ollie's place. Jade and Lian are visiting her mother so he doesn't have to worry about being ambushed by his ninja wife for not coming home while groping the coffee pot. Artemis is indecently alert after the night they had, drinking some cloying tea and reading the news on her McQ™ tablet. Harper emerges a little later like a bear disturbed from hibernation, goes to the coffee, and snarls like an angry koala.

"Who drank all of the coffee?"

Artemis totally ignores him, flicking her finger across the screen. Roy looks at him, and says "Sorry," and raises his mug.

"How hard is it to make more? What kind of jerk just does something like that?"

"I said I'm sorry. Just get over it and make more."

"No, you make it!"

"You've got two hands and as far as I can tell, no brain damage. Do it yourself."

Then Harper roars and punches Roy who rolls with the blow out of his chair and the two of them are scrapping on the kitchen floor like highly trained, vicious five year olds. Artemis looks at them for a moment then calls Dinah on Face-to-Face™ and says, "Roy just put Roy in a headlock. I think they have some self-loathing issues they need you to work out."

It ends with Ollie coming downstairs four hours later to see Roy manfully sobbing and hugging Roy with Dinah looking like the cat that swallowed the canary (which is an awkward metaphor considering). Since he isn't nearly awake enough to even ask, he goes to the kitchen where there's a fresh pot of strong, black nir-freaking-vana with a sticky note that says, 'You're welcome

-A'

Crossover

The Chitauri weren't all dead, and SHIELD thought that perhaps what came through and what Tony blew up was only one of many invasion forces. Tony thought so too, but he argued with Fury and his agents anyway (because he had to physically restrain himself otherwise and it gave him a headache). Small portals kept opening up all over the planet and anywhere between five and a hundred randomly came through. The good news was that they (Tony and Bruce) were able to detect the building energy in order to send out response team, and the portals weren't large enough to send any flying whales through. The bad news was that more were opening and more frequently, and Chitauri weren't the only things coming through.

When the Avengers arrived on the scene, prepared for another battle. But they found a quartet of archers perched on street lights, mack trucks, and window ledges efficiently tearing apart the horde.

"Hawkeye, we found your family!"

Then one of them ran out of arrows, and his arm turned into a laser cannon.

"I don't know, Stark. You sure they're not yours?"

So this took a while longer than anticipated. The Arrows are significantly more trouble than I thought they'd be. Prima donnas, everyone.

Supernatural: Personally, I think of the Twilight 'wolves.

I've never read any comics with the Arrows, and my only experience of them is Justice League, Young Justice and a couple of fancomics. So my Ollie is apparently...eccentric, shall we say.