Shaking her head, Lisbon fought the overpowering urge to rub both her eyes with her fists…Like that would accomplish anything worthwhile…Maybe remove the mental cobwebs…So not happening…All she'd succeed in doing was smearing her mascara to kingdom come…Besides, it was her own fault she was feeling muzzy…She shouldn't have fallen asleep as soon as they pulled out of the wedding chapel. If she hadn't, she wouldn't be having this surreal moment.

Well, maybe she would be…She had married Jane.

Whether she would or wouldn't wasn't important. The Lisbon-Jane merger was a done deal. The joining together had been as romantic as slathering a day old cut with Iodine. It had burned their souls just as bad. That ugly truth had shown in Jane's eyes when he looked at her. She'd known he could tell she felt the same.

While she'd be the first to admit she'd never wanted the pomp and circumstance of a great big wedding if she ever tied the knot, the little girl inside her had always wanted something intimate and loving to remember the rest of her life. Not something as sterile and utilitarian as they'd had. It had been worse for Jane given his past and the enormity of the step they were taking without taking into account the fact he was far more romantic than her. He, not she, was the one who'd had more of that fancy dress and tuxedo semblance of tradition mentality when it came to their wedding. Neither of them had gotten their dreams.

They'd gotten some hastily thrown together bare bones service designed to thwart the evil intentions of a serial killer instead.

Now, upon awakening from her nap, she wasn't all that surprised she felt out of touch with reality in a disconcerting way. Reaching for her sunglasses and blinking at the sun, Lisbon decided the positive was she'd slept through the majority of their return journey since they were clearly almost to her brother's house. The negative, she wouldn't know she was married if she wasn't looking at the rings on her finger.

She couldn't remember the specifics with clarity.

To start with, the ceremony wasn't what she'd expected. For one thing, it wasn't Catholic. For another, it was short and sweet. For the last, the people they loved weren't there to share the most important moment in her life. The one second only to the nanosecond Madeleine entered the world.

That was probably what bothered her the most.

She certainly didn't regret marrying Jane. Not on any level. But, they were doing that second ceremony as soon as they could. Not just for Minelli and the team. For them…To fill that gaping whatever she knew they both were feeling…Oh, and she was wearing that dress. The one she'd sworn she wasn't. Jane wasn't the only one who could be wrong at times.

In fact, she might have the whole shebang. The one Jane had alluded to before she'd set him straight. Well, again, she was female. Changing her mind was her prerogative. If she wanted a real wedding as soon as possible, like say as soon as they nailed the last nail in the bastard's coffin or threw the key to under the jail house away, she was positive Jane would give it to her. With any of the bells and whistles she wanted. He'd conveniently forget she ever said their second time was nothing but a Vow Renewal. He'd known how she'd really feel before she had. He'd also love the idea of giving Maddie that stupid white silk and pearl book he thought she should have. The one proving they were normal enough to go through the whole dreaded monkey suit/fluffy dress routine.

She'd make a Jane bet on that.

Snorting that any part of her would consider them normal, Lisbon reminded herself she wasn't complaining about what she'd already had. She really wasn't. She'd just realized a few things in the hours since. Things like, while she'd thought she'd be fine with the whole situation, she wasn't. She'd genuinely believed saying the words, exchanging rings, and signing the papers was enough. She'd believed wrong. It was good enough for now. But, that wasn't how she wanted to remember the only wedding she was ever going to have.

As a futile move to head off the storm they'd both known was coming.

It also wasn't that Gintry wasn't a nice enough man or his wife equally personable. Or their services weren't everything they should be. They were. But, neither of them had been what she'd expected either. He'd just been a once handsome guy with a gravelly voice assisted by his once pretty wife. They'd both gone through the motions with a warm, friendly competence most couples would appreciate. She hadn't. She'd suddenly wanted her priest. She'd quickly tamped down on her feelings and gone with the flow. She'd also decided, in his antiquated suit and hat, Emmett Gintry looked more like a faded extra in some old time western than any carney she'd ever seen. Then again, what did she know? That look might have been the showman in him.

He'd played that whole black and white movie persona very well.

He'd also overseen their very standard wedding vows with practiced precision in a voice that would have made a television announcer proud. His wife had fluttered around doing what his assistant would do to make the ceremony everything the lucky couple could need. In this instance, their best efforts had fallen seriously flat through no fault of their own. For Lisbon, the best part of the whole thing was her beautiful bouquet of Asian lilies matching her shirt. Jane had picked those out.

The rest of it wasn't so spectacular.

Gintry had read the appropriate lines and they'd responded as they should. Jane had agreed to take her to wife and she to take him to husband. He'd put that simple band on her finger and she'd done the same with his. They'd been declared "Man and Wife" and her new husband had given her a kiss more suited to behind closed doors than a public wedding ceremony. Soon after they'd taken their leave and the rest was history.

Oh, yeah, they were definitely having a do-over.

"We're here." Jane said as he turned in his seat. "I guess we should fetch our daughter."

"You think?" Lisbon snapped not particularly happy to be drawn out of her thoughts before she was ready.

"Yes, I think." Jane said quietly. "Stop your sniping, Lisbon, you don't need to waste your time. As soon as the game ends, we're doing this over. Whenever and however you want to do it. You have my promise."

"I'll hold you to it." Lisbon agreed quietly. "I don't know how you do that; but, I'm glad you do."

His mind reading skills saved her trying to figure out how to tell she'd hated everything they'd just done…Maybe not everything…She hadn't hated marrying him…Just the ceremony…And the worst part was her feelings weren't anybody's fault…They'd done the best they could under the circumstances.

"Lisbon, it wasn't hard to figure out what you were thinking." Jane said. "You were staring at your ring finger with a look that said it all. I'm sorry the ceremony wasn't what either of us wanted. That can't be helped at the moment. But, none of that is important. That you're Mrs. Patrick Jane is. That's the part you need to remember." Leaning over, Jane gave her a tender kiss saying it all. "That's all I really care about."

"But, you're still going to call me Lisbon?" She said against his ear.

"I would gladly call you Jane." Jane said leaning back with that mischievous twinkle in his eye. "But having two Janes about the office would get rather confusing don't you think?

"Yes, I do." Lisbon agreed. "Very confusing so "Lisbon" it is…I'll be back with Maddie in a few minutes. It'll take me a couple of trips to get everything."

It would take more than two trips. It had taken that many with Tommy and Annie helping her gather all of Maddie's things this morning when they'd picked them up. Smiling ruefully, Lisbon decided she really had fallen prey to new mommy over zealousness. She seriously doubted they'd needed half the things she'd packed.

"Why don't I go with you?" Jane said. "It doesn't matter if he knows we're married now. There's nothing anyone can do to stop what's already done. Everyone's going to know the truth in a couple of days anyway."

"You have a point there." Lisbon agreed. "Let's go get our daughter."

Opening her door, she waited for Jane to join her before heading towards Tommy's front door.

#

As Jane carefully held a happily splashing Maddie in her warm water bath, Lisbon ran the soft pink cloth over her skin still feeling like her world had flipped upside down. It was only a handful of hours since Jane had put that ring on her finger and they'd been declared man and wife. While nice, the ceremony had been shockingly anticlimactic. Perhaps because of everything they'd been through to get to this point. Perhaps because, as far as they were concerned, having Emmett Gintry speak the actual words over them was merely the legalizing of what they already felt. Perhaps it was because they'd done it alone. Lisbon wasn't sure. What she did know was she was glad it finally over. She was also glad they hadn't spent that long at her brother's place visiting and gathering their daughter's belongings. In a few minutes they'd been en route for her place…Actually, their place…And they hadn't been home that long.

Maybe a half hour to forty-five minutes tops.

Just long enough to get Madeleine out of her carrier, feed her, watch Jane put everything away, draw a baby tub full of water, and attempt to bathe a wriggling, cooing human guppy more interested in splashing her parents than getting bathed. Deciding her spunky monkey was clean enough for tonight, Lisbon laid her cloth aside ignoring the gleam of gold on her ring finger. Lifting a soft terry towel, she accepted her favorite wiggling squirmy worm from her doting father's grasp. Quickly drying her daughter, she expertly shuffled Maddie into her favorite squirrel festooned onesy while Jane disposed of dirty bath water with his usual grace. Lifting her child in her arms, Lisbon walked across the hall to the nursery positive her husband would soon follow.

She wasn't wrong.

Feeling Madeleine lifted from her arms, Lisbon watched Jane snuggle her safely under his chin. If anyone had told her almost six weeks ago he would be singing lullabies beautifully but slightly off key to their daughter, she wouldn't have believed them. Not because he wasn't that kind of man. He definitely was. More because she hadn't expected things to work out the way they had. That he'd be able to spend so much time with them in plain sight. The reality he'd actually brought her daughter into the world had gone a long way towards making his presence far more acceptable than it would have seemed under normal circumstances.

In fact, it was more than acceptable. It was taken for granted. It seemed Jane's stepping into the role of surrogate father to her bright eyed daughter in spite of his pain was a swoon worthy story in the eyes of their sympathetic coworkers.

Lisbon dreaded the nightmare looming on the horizon. Dreaded the moment they were busted. Dreaded their stinking lies rising to the surface like dead fish skimming the ocean. The crap was so going to hit the fan. Then again, it wasn't like they'd really tried to hide anything since Madeleine's birth. They'd known the sands were shifting and they were living on borrowed time. It wasn't her fault they'd spun their web so well their friends and acquaintances chose to continue believing the fantasy in spite of the visible tears starting to show. It also wasn't her fault a building full of cops weren't as observant as they should be when it came to seeing the reality in front of them….

Mainly that her daughter undeniably had Jane's eyes.

"Earth to Mama Bear." Jane said softly. "I'd say the Baby Bear's about down for the count. At least her toes aren't quite as fascinating any more. Why don't you come over here and join me in sending her off to LaLaLand?"

Turning her attention back to her daughter, Lisbon walked over to stand by the crib. Maddie was fighting valiantly to keep her eyes open and losing the battle. Seeing her mother where she was supposed to be, she finally succumbed to the Sandman and closed her eyes with one last pump of her fists and half aborted baby giggle. All that was missing were the tiny toes kicking her blanket away. Placing his finger against his lips, Jane guided Lisbon out of the nursery and into the hall pulling the door carefully closed behind them.

#

Following him down the stairs, Lisbon wasn't surprised to see Jane veer off into the kitchen. Nor was she in any way shocked when he reappeared with the champagne bottle in hand. She'd known he had one hidden around somewhere. He wasn't about to let the moment pass without some kind of celebration. Hearing the familiar "pop," Lisbon watched him pour two glasses of the bubbly pink libation knowing he'd bought the demi-sec she favored. Accepting the glass he offered, she touched her glass against Jane's at his single word toast.

"Forever" had a real nice ring to it.

"I suppose there's a celebratory spread around here, too?" Lisbon looked around her spotless kitchen mildly surprised to see nothing prepared and waiting for them. "Maybe there isn't."

"Oh, there's a spread." Jane said opening the oven door. "I got everything situated while you got Maddie ready for her bath."

Opening the oven, he lifted the tray out with mitt covered hands.

"I brought all of this over before I picked you up at Tommy's." Jane said as he unwrapped the aluminum foil covering the silvery containers. "All I needed to do was slip it in the oven to reheat while you were upstairs a little while ago."

"Aren't you the sneaky boy?" Lisbon commented as she leaned over to get a good sniff of the herb laced lemon chicken Jane was spooning on her plate. "I hope you got roasted potatoes and a salad to go along with that."

"What do you think?" Jane asked. "George packed a couple of boxes of those cookies you like as well." While Lisbon was fond of her messy Kourabiethes and liked nothing more than licking confectioner sugar off her fingertips largely because she knew how much it annoyed him, they both preferred the spicier, citrusy Melomakaronas smelling so deliciously of cinnamon and cloves. "Oh, and there's Baklava in the pantry. I got the usual for lunch tomorrow."

Lisbon knew "the usual" meant that massively oversized Greek sampler platter loaded with every kind of stereotypical touristy treat they could find on the menu from meat and rice stuffed Dolmades to the ever present Moussaka and Spanakopita. She hoped to goodness he'd only gotten one or they'd be eating every meal from takeout boxes for the next couple of days.

Following Jane with their full champagne glasses, Lisbon was mildly surprised when he set their loaded plates on her breakfast bar rather than continuing to her dining table. Quirking a brow at him, she followed suit placing their wine by their plates before sliding into her chair. Watching Jane do the same, she waited to see what he did next.

"Lisbon, as much as you expect me to suddenly sweep you upstairs leaving all of this behind and as much as I'd like to do it…" He motioned to their overflowing plates. "I'm not going to. We're going to have a civilized dinner and enjoy each other's company. What we aren't doing is continuing the desperation of the last few months. We're married now and there's nothing anyone can do to keep us apart. So, I'd say we have that ordinary evening we've never allowed ourselves to have."

Lisbon resisted the urge to remind him there was a lot he could do if they let him.

"We aren't going to let him." Jane firmly responded to the remark she hadn't meant to say out loud. "Hold on to that."

"No, we aren't." Lisbon agreed as she leaned in to wrap her arms around his neck. "I take it this is why we're eating here instead of at the table?"

"You take it right." Jane said as he finished the kiss Lisbon started. "Now what do you say to eating before our food gets cold?"

Pulling away, Lisbon nodded before turning her attention to her plate. As much as she loved the cozy little Greek hole in the wall Jane favored, she loved George's take-out more. He'd taken a liking to her a few years back the first time Jane dragged her kicking and screaming to the quaint eatery. She'd had no objections to the restaurant. Just to going out at all. She was tired and she'd wanted to go home so she'd put up quit the fight. George had quickly changed her mind. From that point on they'd become fast friends. Fast enough friends the man was still trying to fatten her up and, God help her, he'd come close to succeeding a few times over the years especially while she was pregnant.

There were too many craving worthy items on his menu and she'd indulged every one.

Then there was also the fact he always put extra on her plate or in her box when he knew it was her. So, when Jane said he'd gotten her a couple of boxes of cookies he meant just that and not small boxes. God bless George and his conniving little heart. She meant that. She'd give him a great big hug the next time she saw him.

Eating in companionable silence, she helped Jane load the dishwasher a few minutes later before leaving him to put the leftovers away. Walking out on the patio glass in hand, she was content he'd be joining her before too long glass in hand.

#

Staring at the darkened apartments across the way, Lisbon wasn't all that surprised to feel Jane's arms wrapping around her or his chin resting on her shoulder. He'd just taken their empty glasses back inside for a refill so she'd known he was lurking somewhere since he hadn't immediately returned. Leaning her cheek against his, she closed her eyes getting lost in his touch. As difficult a time as she was having with accepting the gold band on her finger, she was perfectly comfortable with the man's touch. No, it was more than that. She was truly lost without his touch.

"I was wondering where you were." Lisbon said softly. "You disappeared on me."

She hadn't expected that.

They'd only been outside a half hour or so.

"I took a moment to check on Maddie before I refilled our glasses." Jane lied with consummate ease refusing to tell her he'd been contemplating the wisdom of their latest actions although he had peeked in on their daughter. "She's happily sleeping away."

"She should stay that way." Lisbon felt him squeeze her a little tighter. "She didn't get her nap today."

"There was too much excitement." Jane said. "She doesn't get a change of scenery very often."

"Tommy kept her awake." Lisbon felt him disentangle from around her body. "It's been a long time since he's had a baby to play with."

"That's good for us." Jane settled comfortably against the railing by her side. "We should have a few hours on our own."

"Yes, we should." Lisbon agreed. "You don't have to lie to me you know. While I don't doubt you checked on Maddie, I know you spent most of that time just staring blankly at the kitchen counter. If it helps any, I'm wondering just as hard as you are if we made the right decision today. If we shouldn't have just waited it out instead of doing this." She held out her hand displaying her shiny wedding band. "You know what I decided?"

"For once, I don't have a clue." Jane admitted honestly. "What have you decided?"

"I don't think it really matters when you finally put a ring on my finger." Lisbon admitted. "You've already said it yourself. We can't get any more together than having Madeleine. We made that choice months ago when we decided we wanted her and we wanted a life together. No matter the cost. Once we did, the next move was Red John's. We've understood that from the start. Now that he has, we deal with it. There's nothing else we can do."

"I suppose we do." Jane observed. "For the record, there's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you."

"I feel the same." Lisbon agreed. "It's not like any of this is really all that different than it's always been if you take the piece of paper out of the equation. Facing RJ has always been confronting the great unknown. He likes it that way."

"Yes, he does." Jane snorted. "Unfortunately, we don't feel the same."

"No, we don't." Lisbon continued. "Since we can't do anything about any of that at the present, why don't we just enjoy the rest if the night and the day tomorrow? Come Monday, nothing is ever going to be the same."

As reluctant as he was to admit it, Lisbon was right. They needed to seize the moment before it poofed away. Once Red John made his next play, there was going to be hell to pay both in and out of work. Not with Minelli and the team. Lisbon had already let them know the score and why their plans so suddenly changed. But, he couldn't say the same for everyone else.

Not with Bertram and the higher ups.

"No, it isn't." Jane took a sip of champagne. "In the ways that count, it'll be a whole lot better."

He wouldn't have to miss any more of those milestones moments…with his daughter or his wife.

"Yeah, I think it will." Lisbon took her own sip of champagne while she mulled her thoughts. "No matter what happens, we'll be together."

"I can't think of anything I'd like better." Jane set his glass aside. "It's what we both wanted."

"Yes, it is." Turning slightly, she fixed Jane with a funny look. "You know something I've realized over the past few days?"

"What's that?" Jane shifted behind her. "Something like you wouldn't change anything about all of this if you could?"

"I am so not asking how you do that." Lisbon shook her head knowing there was more to Jane and his abilities than met the eye despite his comments to the contrary. "But, yeah, I don't think I would." Lisbon closed her eyes deep in thought. "None of this has been all bad. We got each other and Maddie out of the deal. We even learned a few things along the way."

Jane didn't have to second that. They'd learned a lot about each other over the years. They wouldn't be where they were if they hadn't. Things like trust and love. But, that wasn't what Lisbon was talking about. He had a feeling her observations had a whole lot more to do with her personal issues and fears.

"Yes, we have." Jane agreed. "We wouldn't be together if we hadn't."

"No, we wouldn't." Lisbon opened her eyes and looked at him. "Promise me we're never going to take anything for granted…Never going to just walk away…That we've fought too damned hard to get here and we're fighting too damned hard to keep all of this now to ever let it go…."

"You shouldn't need a promise since you know how I feel." Jane buried his nose in her hair. "But, since it's reassurance you're seeking, then yes, you have my promise. We're never going to take anything for granted or walk away. I'm not going to and I won't let you if you try. Is that good enough for you?"

"Yeah, that's good enough." Lisbon agreed closing her eyes again. "It's what I needed to hear."

Hearing rather than seeing Jane take a step back, Lisbon didn't bother opening her eyes as she felt his fingers tugging her blouse from her pants. Feeling his hands slipping beneath the silky cloth, Lisbon was mildly surprised to feel his palms running over the bare expanse of her stomach in a tentatively exploratory manner. Erotic she could understand considering they'd just gotten married a few hours ago. What she was feeling not so much.

"Jane?" Lisbon opened her eyes wondering what was going through his head. "Penny for your thoughts."

"That's too much." Jane rested his warm palm against the flat of her stomach. "I was just recalling the last time we made love. You were heavy with Madeleine and incredibly sexy even though you didn't believe it at the time."

"I was a horny beached whale." Lisbon corrected him. "Don't try to mask the truth with pretty words."

Jane laughed out loud at how very Lisbon the woman in his arms was being. She wouldn't know romantic if it bit her on the rear. No matter how he tried to teach her otherwise, the effort was in vain. They both knew it. He might as well not even try.

"I'm not masking anything." Jane corrected her. "I'm stating the truth. We were both libidinous and you were highly erotic."

Who the heck used words like "libidinous"? Jane, that's, who and now she was married to him.

"Yeah?" Lisbon snorted at him. "I think you're just plain weird."

"Be quiet." Jane said. "I'm trying to enjoy the moment."

"What moment is that?" Lisbon asked. "The one that says I'm getting more frustrated with every passing second we stand out here staring into the dark. Or the moment that says, if I'm feeling what I think I am, so are you? Or, perhaps, the one that says the moment is quickly passing and you aren't getting laid if you drag this out much longer."

Or, more likely, the moment that would truly ruin it for them when she suddenly broke down in tears from the deep longing in his eyes that had nothing to do with sex.

"No, the one that says I'm trying to decide who was more beautiful." Jane said candidly. "The Lisbon I made love to that night or the one I'm loving tonight."

"Damn it, Jane." She wanted to clobber him. "You know I can't handle you saying things like that."

"Learn to." Jane whispered in her ear. "I'm never going to stop telling you how I feel. I married you, didn't I? I can assure you that wouldn't happen with just any woman, Madeleine or no."

There wouldn't have been a Maddie with another woman. He wouldn't have been so careless. Neither would Lisbon.

"Stop it." Lisbon demanded turning in his arms to press a frenzied kiss against his lips. "Just stop it now."

"Or what?" Jane held her back when she'd have silenced him with yet another kiss. "You'll let me have you right here voyeuristic neighbors be damned?"

"Shut up, Jane." Lisbon commanded. "That's never going to happen."

"Maybe not; but, it could if you'd let yourself get carried away." Jane kissed her ear. "I can assure you no one would ever know what we were doing unless you allowed your pleasure to show on your face."

"So not going to happen." Lisbon resisted the urge to throttle him. "I can see both of us getting arrested now."

"As you're so fond of saying that would never happen." Jane teased knowing he was no more an exhibitionist than she was. It was just that Lisbon was so much fun to torment. It was hard resisting those rare opportunities to do so. "However, I understand your reluctance to put it to the test so what do you say to taking this inside? If I remember correctly, there's a large, comfortable bed upstairs."

"I think there is." Lisbon nodded her head. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come to your senses and make me that offer I can't refuse."

"Maybe I was waiting on you." Jane responded. "The man doesn't always have to make the first move."

Rolling her eyes, Lisbon quickly set him straight. "He does when he's the one who wanted to wait in the first place."

"Touché, Lisbon, touché." Jane said under his breath as he followed her inside. "What else can I say?"

When the woman was right, she was just plain right.