The truest of writings, come from the darkest times of our lives. Loosely based on real events.

A loss of trust

Her thoughts couldn't stop racing, not after what happened. To let such an act occur hurt her more; she just stood there, frozen in time, shock and fear taking over her mind.

'I smell rain,' she sat on an old picnic table in a field near her great-grandfather's home. She spent so many days training with her family of fighters, and having a giant picnic with all of them. But today…today it was used to cry, and to express her deepest feeling.

The rain started to pour down harder, drenching Pan as she let the silent tears fall. Her long black hair plastered to her face as she looked out into the distance, lying atop of the wooden table. It was quiet except for the ever so loud pattering of rain. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as another sob rocked her lithe body. "How…how could I let it get to this?" She sobbed.

"Let what?" A voice sounded. She turned over and looked into the eyes of Goten, her uncle and protector.

"I can't tell you." She replied. Pan half expected him to leave, but he wasn't going to. He got her to sit up and put the umbrella he held within his hands over her. Suddenly she felt cold, wondering if she was like that the whole time. The feeling of emotional numbness took over quickly, and it hasn't left since that day.

Goten looked down at her in utter silence, wondering what could be bothering her so much. His sixteen year old neice was one of the strongest in the universe, so what could've made her this distraught? "Your mom and dad are probably looking for you."

All Pan did was shrug her shoulders. She couldn't think clearly, everything was fuzzy.

Goten took a deep breath, "if you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't fix anything."

Silence seemed to engulf Pan, as she refused to speak. Finally, she leaned up and whispered into his ear with a shaky breath.

His eyes went wide; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had that really happened to her? How and most importantly why, had she kept it to herself? He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, bringing some comfort to the situation. By this time the rain was even harder, and threatened to destroy the umbrella. "I'm going home, to get something to eat." He said just loud enough over the rain. He let the umbrella down and was immediately met by the cold downpour, his shagged onyx hair plastered to his face within moments.

Pan nodded. "Please Goten, don't tell them anything. I don't want to have them hurting the same way I am." Referring to her parents as well as her grandparents, the four would be absolutely crushed to know the little girl had to go through such a thing all by herself.

It felt like forever before she decided to go back to her home on the other side of the mountain. The rain let up just enough for her to fly. The darkness of night overtaking her vision as her coal eyes strained. Saiyan vision or not, it was getting harder to see.

xXxXxXx

Pan touched down in the front of home and clutched the doorknob. Swiftly opening it, she grabbed the clean white towel from the table, drying her hair as she entered the kitchen. She thought she would see a plate left out for her, the remnants of the delicious dinner her grandma ChiChi cooked for the entire family.

For the umpteenth time that day, she spread a fake smile upon her face. The face of someone hurting, who was trying to let those around them know that they were alright.

What Pan didn't expect to see, was her mother, father and uncle sitting at the table. Goten had his head down in shame when she walked in. Her mother looked up at her daughter as she burst into tears, running to give her a hug, pained by the recent news. Gohan was trying to keep tabs on his anger which was threatening to burst at any moment.

As the teen began to put the pieces together, she tore away from her mother screaming, and once again crying, "How could you Goten?! You weren't supposed to tell them, I hate you! I hate you!" She screeched rushing out through the front door, flying as fast as her energy could take her, as thunder and lightning cracked across the sky.

A ki suppressor was pulled from her side pants pocket. She gazed at the bracelet looking thing and put it around her wrist. Now no-one knew where she was going. The rain continued to lessen as she flew high above the clouds, finally coming to a stop for just a moment above them.

xXxXxXx

'It's so clear up here. Why can't everything be like this?' Pan questioned. Her small, aerodynamic frame shot through the air like a bullet, finally landing at her destination high upon the Earth: Kami's Lookout. She sat in the corner of the building nearing the edge. Resting her tired body and betrayed emotions, another tear escaped her wide, coal eyes.

"Somehow I knew you'd be up here."

'Dammit!' her mind screamed. How could she not sense him come up here? She should've known… it was her best friend after all. She looked up at his blue eyes, wondering just what his intent was. Had her jerk of an uncle told him? Or worse, was it all over her school?

"Don't worry, I just felt your ki spike, and I knew you were coming up here." He sat down next to her, waiting for her to say something.

So, did he already know? Maybe, maybe not. Pan looked straight ahead, out into the darkened sky. "I'm not going to talk about it." She murmured, pulling a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

Trunks rolled his eyes, as that was the answer that he was only half expecting. He knew the youngest Son better than that. Pan was the one that kept her emotions hidden, and put on a face that showed how fearless of the world she really was. But not now…now he was going to watch her breakdown.

"Why do bad things happen to me?" she whispered, not really wanting to hear the answer her friend was going to give.

Trunks looked down at her and put an arm around her shoulders, making her lean into him. "When bad things happen, they always find a way to make you stronger." It was hard to hear, but always true, in one way or another.

"Do you know what happened?" She asked.

"No…" He began, "but Goten texted me that you ran off, and he wanted me to check on you. While I was here anyway. So what did happen?"

Pan's breathing hitched as a lump formed in her throat. "I can't tell you. Not now or ever."

He huffed in response, knowing that one cannot help without knowledge as to why. It hurt to see her so out of it. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong with you."

"Who the hell said there's something wrong with me?" She screamed, pulling away from him. There wasn't anything she did wrong, or so they said. In any case, she felt guilty…Her small frame, clad only in wet jeans and a t-shirt, crumpled into a ball as she cried again. It hurt so badly, and it's all because of him.

No, not Goten... the other man. The one that shattered Son Pan's life on that fateful night. It was torture, and he enjoyed it. Pinning her arms and ravishing her innocent body as she screamed and cried in protest. And what came out of that was a shell of her former self. Just wanting it all to end!

Trunks walked over to his crying friend, and kissed her forehead lovingly. He wanted to protect her, she knew that. But right now he needed to do a little investigating of his own. Combing a hand through his short lavender locks he looked out over the edge. "Dende…" He called still looking out.

The young Namekian came out into view of the pathway, "yes?"

"Make sure Pan is looked after while I'm gone, if it's not too much trouble."

Dendenodded his head in reply. "Don't worry."

Soon Trunks had left, leaving just the Earths guardian and the youngest Son.

xXxXxXx

To her, living was useless. So many things were going to happen, and Pan just didn't feel the need to deal with them. She combed her fingers through her drying, matted black hair, just thinking. Replays of that night, and the countless nights since played through her mind. She'd never tell. And she prayed… prayed to Kami himself that Trunks never found out.

Dende had long gone inside to seek out Mr. Popo; Piccolo was nowhere to be found, as usual.

'It's my time. Time for my greatest escape and no-one is going to stop it.' Her feet pulled her body unconsciously closer to the edge. The ki suppresser still attached around her wrist. If she fell now, would anyone know? Probably not, but it sounded fun to find out.

For years, she would jump off of the lookout, but always caught herself near the ground. It was at that time she flew faster than anything on the planet, so close to the sound barrier, but yet so far away. Today…today she would not catch herself.

She took a deep breath as she float three feet up into the air, carrying herself just over the edge, and dropping. Not bothering to keep her body up. The feeling of free falling was electric. Pan felt free, like there was nothing stopping her. And for the first time in a long time, she felt content. Happy!

Her vision went black, as her body hit the ground below with a smack. It was over… The pain and suffering was finally gone. None of her family would have to worry about her anymore.

"I'll be alright." Her last words, the final moment of a tortured girl who lost all zest for life, and it was all because of him.