A/N: This is the result of my boredom and reading a cracked up parody.

Fuji's Basement

Observing his teammates Fuji noted that they were all very focused on practice. This, he thought was good and all. But he had noticed that in the past few weeks that tennis, was all everyone thought about. Fuji inwardly frowned, because as we all know Fuji Syusuke has a reputation to keep up of always smiling, sweet or sadistic, as long as it's a smile. Pondering this, Fuji thought about how much the team was neglecting the oh-so-important factor of team bonding. Thinking about it some more Fuji felt an evil genius plan form in his mind, since he is of course a genius. And along with this evil plan came an evil smile, seeing this, the rest of the Seigaku tennis team backed up a few hundred meters, not wanting to get caught in one of Fuji's crazy schemes.

The next day which happened to be an off day for the regulars Fuji set his plan in motion. Inviting the regulars over to his house under the pretense that he had something amazing to show, everyone, surprisingly showed up, even Tezuka! Fuji being the evil genius he is managed to herd everyone into his basement where he told them to wait as he went upstairs to get whatever it was. However as soon as he walked out the door he slammed it shut and locked it.

Hearing this, the other regulars immediately ran to the door. "Fuji! Unlock this door immediately," Tezuka commanded.

Fuji chuckled from behind the door, "No can do Tezuka. You guys have to bond before I let you out. No matter how long that takes." The regulars could almost see the sadistic smile on Fuji's face right now.

"But Fuji-senpai I have to use the bathroom!" Momo exclaimed wiggling around oddly.

On the other side of the door Fuji grinned, "There's a bucket in the corner."

Momo's face scrunched up in disgust, "Yuck! No way! I'll hold it!"

"Fujiko! At least let Oishi and I out! We know each other really well nya~!" Eiji cried banging on the door.

"But do you know the others?" Fuji questioned smirking slightly.

"Well," Eiji looked down, "No," he admitted sheepishly.

Ryoma looked at his senpai and scoffed, "Tch, mada mada dane senpai. We can just pick the lock."

Taka blinked," Oh yeah we actually could do that."

"Sorry to burst your bubble Echizen," Fuji said, "but this door can't be opened from the inside."

"Well there goes that plan," Inui said scribbling in his notebook.

"Gyaaaa!" Momo cried out from a corner, "I think I just sat on a cactus!"

Kaidoh snorted, "Stupid Peach, why would there be cacti in a basement?"

Fuji giggled, yes he giggled, to himself. His plan was coming together quite nicely. "Ah, yes," Fuji said hearing what Momo had said, "part of my experimental cacti collection is down there. Please do be careful some of them are possibly poisonous. And I haven't had the chance to test all of them. Maybe you would like to test them for me? Being stuck in there until I decide you have all bonded enough and all. Hmm?"

"Fuji," Tezuka said sternly, "300 laps next practice, and for every five minutes that pass without letting us out add two more."

"Maa, maa, Tezuka; this is for the good of the team. Don't be so uptight," Fuji chided lightly while twirling the key around. "Hum, maybe I should invite the St. Rudolph team as well, I haven't seen Yuuta in a while and I have some new torture techniques to try out, Misuki would make a great guinea pig. Or maybe Kirihara? Then Yukimura and I could swap ideas and maybe settle our dispute about who scares their teammates and opponents more," Fuji mused, half listening to the screams of his teammates, who had apparently found his stash of torture tools.

All the while as Fuji was contemplating his methods and the poor people to be victimized by it the rest of the Seigaku regulars were hoping they didn't have to make themselves deaf to escape some horrible music in English. That is until the screeching male (they thought it was male but it was debatable) voice had stopped and Momo nearly tripped and fell on a bed of nails, or cacti they couldn't really tell. Thus kick-starting their discovery that Fuji was an extreme sadist, and was probably involved in some illegal activity, since Inui had stated half the things they had found were illegal have without a permit or flat out illegal, especially to a fourteen year old in middle school.

As Tezuka watched his team fall into the various traps Fuji had set he thought to himself that Fuji was going to be running laps for a very long time. Well if they ever found a way out of the basement from Hell he was.