Welcome to Varia Café!

Summary: Welcome to the Varia Café! A cute baby, cheeky frog, sadistic prince, loud shark, outrageous crossdresser, perverted old man and a boss, what a wonderful place! Stop by and take a seat.

There was a semi-tense atmosphere in the closed café. Five males, a female and an unidentified one sat on the scattered stools of the café. The first male, a blonde boy with a tiara, yawned sleepily as he perched one arm over the counter. The second one, an apathetic teal eyed boy, was staring boredly at the scene with a blank expression on his face. The third one, a baby, was hovering in his seat with a milkshake in hand. The fourth one had long, silky hair and was craning his neck to see a better view.

Was there a fifth one…? Oh, there is.

The fifth one was in the corner, ignored. The person with an unidentified sexual orientation was the closest to the female in terms of distance, giggling happily at intervals. All of them wore casual attire unlike their usual butler costumes, or a maid costume for one.

"VOI!" Squalo shouted ever so loudly as he stood from his seat and complained, "What are we doing here in our day-off?"

"Sit down," Alice, the redhead manager, politely requested as she threw a cup right at Squalo's face which shattered at the impact. Ignoring the raging expression on the shark's face, she looked at everyone else and explained, "Before any of you idiots, not you Luss-neechan, complain like what Squalo did, I want to tell everyone that this isn't my idea. At all."

"And you're thinking that we're going to believe that?" Fran emotionlessly commented as he bored his teal eyes. He tilted his head to the side and then he added, "You're an old hag whose only concern is to torture us."

"Please shut up and I am not old," This time another cup was thrown, in the frog's direction that is. She gave a sickly dangerous smile as her eyes narrowed and she announced, "This was Xanxus' idea."

She looked at everyone and then she added, "And I do know that everyone knows what happens when Xanxus gets angry."

There was several shivers here and there and Squalo shouted, "THAT DAMN SPOILED-"

Bam. The infamous Squalo-quake arrived and disrupted the scene, making some of the glassware in the café shatter.

"Hahaha!" A maniacal and ominous laugh was heard as Alice shook on her head. She pointed to the broken items and listed it in some notebook, as she amusedly said, "You'll be paying for all these broken items."

Belphegor gave out his trademark laugh, right on cue, "Ushishishi."

"Oh well." Alice motioned her hand and then she beckoned everyone else, "Come closer."

"Why?"

"Because I said so." Alice answered, her sickly smile directed at Fran.

"Mou." Mammon just nodded and then he hovered to a place nearer to the manager. Fran almost pouted but complied when she threw a cup on his direction. Squalo was also going to protest but was stopped when a plate was about to be thrown at him and the only reason while he probably complied was because the angle was directed at his hair.

Levi went closer as he muttered things that are of no importance and Lussuria propped herself, er, himself to get a better view. Belphegor, in all his royal glory, stood up and slouched just before he threw himself at a nearby seat and better access to the conversation. There was slight silence and the blond prince broke it, "Ushishishishi~"

Alice pointedly ignored the usual creepiness of the grinning prince and instead took out a small whiteboard from nowhere and cleared her throat, "We're starting our meeting now."

"Eh?" Fran monotonously asked in his trademark tone. He stared at the redhead manager and bluntly pointed out, "Haven't we already started our meeting a moment ago?"

"That wasn't official." Alice answered as she waved a dismissive hand. She paused before she looked at everyone and stated, "The agenda for today is planning ideas for the betterment of the café, as proposed by Xanxus."

"That shitty boss!" Squalo protested, though his voice was a little softer as usual-that is if his voice can get soft. He puffed and pointed out, "HE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING FOR THIS HELLHOLE OF A PLACE!"

A slight tremor took place and the manager only gave out a humorless and creepy laugh as she informed the others, "First of all, this place should never be called a hellhole or anything that is relatively closed to that word or else I would personally make each of you suffer. The other thing is that Xanxus doesn't need to work because it's you guys who're taking his place."

There were some stunned silence but before the others can even respond, Alice clapped her hands and then cupped her chin as she said, "So, does anyone have any ideas for events or something of the sort for the place?"

"I do~" Luss raised his hand and then gave a giddy smile as she, er he, suggested, "How about a crossdressing week, ne, Alice-chan?"

"VOIIII-"

"Sure." A smirk formed on Alice's lips as the others grimaced and she noted the suggestion down.

"How about a week of day-off?" Fran emotionlessly suggested.

While some of the lazier of the group smiled, the manager only smiled creepily as she shoot the suggestion down, "No."

"Hmm," Mammon floated on his chair as he took a sip of his strawberry milkshake as he said, "How about a theme for a week?"

"Hm?" Alice gave him a small and genuine smile as she inquired, "What kind of theme?"

"Mou," Mammon gave a small shrug, "It depends on you."

The redhead manager only sent another smile as she noted it down and she muttered, "Good thing that I have Mammon and Luss-neechan or else all I'll be having are a group of idiots."

"VOIII!" Squalo stood up to protest but was interfered by the manager's voice.

"Protest again and I'll make eating sharks be a theme for a week."

Squalo's eyes widened as he heard the statement and crossed his hands as he muttered, "SHARK-KILLER."

"The prince has an idea." Belphegor spoke up as he lazily looked at the manager.

"Which is?"

He gave his trademark Chesire grin and he asked, "How about some kind of killing theme, eh?"

There was a hint of smile on the manager's face as she noted it down, "I'll think about it."

"Ne, ne, Alice-chaaan~" Lussuria giggled as she,er he called the girl.

Said girl tilted her head to the side in question as her eyes met with Lussuria's and she asked, "What is it, Luss-neechan?"

"How about making a surprise visit to the customers, ne~"

"What?" A deadpan voice monotonously protested.

"VOIII!" Another one yelled in protest as a slight tremor took over the place.

"What?" A humorless grin appeared on a certain member of the royal family.

"Mou." The little infant only drank his milkshake in response.

The perverted old man with a moustache was going to say something as well but as usual, he was ignored.

A hint of a smile appeared on Alice lips as she nodded her head, "Sure, sure."

She took some other notes and then she smiled to herself, an insanely dangerous aura covering her as she laughed maniacally, "Oh, all of these would be soooo much fun."

The butlers shivered and then they gulped while they looked on to their insane manager. She stood up and kept her notebook somewhere and then she said, "I'll be talking over the plan with your boss, got it?"

Without even waiting for any reaction, she added, "We'll be having a new kind of service on your next work day."

And with that, she left with a sickly happy smile and left an ominous atmosphere for the others.

Omake

The widely-known boss of the popular and famed assassination squad looked through on the files with a bored gaze as he skimmed through the papers and his eyes stopped on a particular page and he called out, "Woman."

The redhead manager immediately straightened up as she asked, "Yes?"

He roughly gave the piece of paper and he said, "This will be the next theme, understand, trash?"

"I'm not trash," Alice pointed out with a twitch. After that, her eyes fell to the piece of paper and as it scanned the paper, she muttered with a slight smirk on her face, "You really like torturing them, don't you?"

"Hm."

Omake 2

"Why, why am I always ignored?" Levi said in an almost perfect expression of despair. Almost.

Fran contemplated on noticing him and then he harshly but monotonously pointed out, "Because you look ugly."

"Why?" Levi shook his head and he protested, "I was a lady-killer in my time…!"

Bel gave his trademark laugh, Mammon even stopped counting his money for a while and Lussuria giggled. Squalo, however, was louder in expressing his surprise, "VOIII! DON'T BE DELUSIONAL!"

Another tremor appeared and plates and cups fell towards Levi's direction and shattered upon impact.

A/N: I'm sorry if it's been a month since I last updated but that's because I've been preparing for the transition of the second part of the story. I bet that you guys think that it would be Xanxus' chapter, but no. xD Xanxus is too bad-ass to work lol. Weekly updates will return after this one and please review on what you kind of events you might want to see in the next chapters, though I already have something planned for the second part of Varia Cafe. *silly grins*

Thank you for all your support, loves, and please keep reviewing, reading and subscribing.

Lots of love to you all :*