Chapter 4

The Shepherd

She was spat out.

Spat out from the chaos and left to wither away in darkness, cold and naked on some godforsaken planet in the middle of nowhere. From the moments of consciousness she barely had, she felt the white sand, the gentle waves pushing against her body. Her mind started to question her; 'Where are we?', 'Where is everyone?', 'Why can't you move?', 'Did you finish your mission?', 'Is this heaven?', 'Is this hell?', 'Is everyone still alive?', 'Are you okay?'.

It stopped asking endless questions to an unresponsive shell until the questions became more demanding until they turned into commands, shouting and deafening.

'Get up'.

'Get up'.

'Get up'.

'You must finish what you have started'.

'You must destroy'.

'Get up'.

'You must destroy what you have started'.

They spoke, spoke at her, until very slowly, her fingertips started to move randomly, her feet shuffled underneath her weight as she struggled to regain strength, to be commanded and to follow orders she had to regain strength.

Where has she felt like this before? Voices booming and commands into a new shell, a new husk. A woman speaking above her, her body aching and numbing pain drilled into her head, her new head; soft and easily broken.

Memories were going in and out of focus, blurring into colours, simple colours. Her mind tried to recall that woman's name, her mother maybe? Where she was born? Dragged back into a world where she didn't belong.

She could not remember.

After restlessly turning and twisting in the sand, she gradually stood, making mistakes and learning from them. Stumbling and struggling, she progressively remembered how to walk.

Around her, it was night. She looked up, stars were falling. A red hue covered the night sky.

'You did this', said the voice.

She looked for no one in particular, the voice held no tone or structure but it gave her words, gave her commands.

She walked towards a voice that held no structure; she walked until the sandy path held no form anymore. She looked up.

The ball of mirrors looked directly into her, reflecting her image. It floated against the sky, a nightmarish red hue against black.

The ball spoke.

'The Machines live in you. You will destroy as they did, child".

Who said those words? Who called her 'child'; her father? He died next to her before the darkness.

It boomed, it screeched, changed shape into familiar strangers. Morphing and transforming into people from the past and present.

Then it changed into her image, stolen from her.

She was a poor impression of a human from a distant species, white hair and white skin, punctuated with aching red eyes. Her age was regressed to her teenage self, her skin felt new and young.

She remembers how she used to look, full of life, and full of colours; oranges, blues, pinks and greens. Now she was an unfinished drawing of a person she only wished she could remember.

Her reflection spoke to her, the same voice without tone or structure.

'You died from chaos and now you are reborn through darkness. You; as The Lone Shepherd will continue the chaos'.

Reborn.

But that would imply something new, fresh and unharmed. She could remember everything. Through learning how to talk and walk through the ball of mirrors, she regained her 'data'; the data that gave her 'individuality'.

The ball of mirrors transmuted into surroundings, palm trees and horizons.

Her head was ripe, ready to explode from the confusion and the terrible booming that lived in her. She brought her hands to her face, wailing like a newborn.

A cold breeze blew through the Lone Shepherd. Waking her from the nightmare of being reborn, she stumbled around, fell over pathetically onto the sand.

But she refused, she stood, she walked slowly and surely. She refused to give up.

The sand escaped from her feet as she stepped on something unforgiving and titanium, she looked around wearily.

An abandoned colony; left in tatters, must have been hit by the Machines. The Lone Shepherd searched for resources for survival, she acquired blue light armour, protected her from the cold and the humility of being nude, medigel, rations…Basic survival needs.

For the next few days, she destroyed everything. Whatever happened to her, she became stronger than ever. The biotic flare turned a dark and dangerous purple rather than the euphoric azure. It left a fiery aftershock, she killed various creatures and it wasn't just for her hunger, it was just pure curiosity. Her old self would've already tried to contact help, to try and regain her life and retreat back to the life that killed her twice.

The Lone Shepherd didn't find this logical, she was content on this small planet, she did not feel any extreme or disruptive emotion but she was calm and collected alone. You could even say, she enjoyed the isolation and serenity.

But then she felt something.

She felt heavy rain.

He was alone right now too.

She could see him, sitting on the edge of some non-descript hotel room bed, watching her on a holo-screen. But it wasn't her, not really.

What did she feel for this sad man; trapped by his own emotions and guilt, swimming in his own self-pity?

She expected 'nothing' but instead she felt these words, these horrible words echo through her fragile and slim body.

'Don't leave me alone'.

The Lone Shepherd broke from this confusing and over-whelming vision of him and was returned to the isolated atmosphere of the lone colony scattered across the beach.

What exactly had she become? Able to oversee figures from her past, god-like destruction in the form of twisted biotics, the terrible voices that argued over each other and omnipotence? She definitely wasn't the woman that man was looking at, longing for. But she hoped for him, that he wouldn't be sad for too long.

Then they came.

They came to take her back to the chaos and ripped away from her safe isolation.

After 12 colonies of nothing but charred remains, ruins of societies and the aftermath of mindless killing machines, the endless debris and chaos, the body count on each planet…Corporal Keane Yamaguchi was started to get extremely tired.

He turned, trying to flicker up some humour to another corporal, James Vega. Vega had been placed onto the 'Search and Recover' task force for his unrivalled efforts in the War, he liked being revered, dropped jaws and stares often came his way and he loved it.

"They better give us so much shore leave after this, am I right or wrong Vega?", Yamaguchi chimed, leaning back onto a hard wall in the shuttle.

Vega let out a small laugh and gave Yamaguchi a sterling smack on the back. "Turian shots, picking up asari at Afterlife, get into a couple of bar fights and that's me done, amigo", a cocky smile spread across his face. "Just gotta do the rounds first, man".

Yamaguchi gave his friend a weary smile. "Yeah, I just wish we would find something", he rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head.

"Si, those empty houses…I'd rather have a body count than nothing", Vega crossed his arms.

Yamaguchi found surprise at the bluntness of his words but he grudgingly understood, at least it was that something that kept him hoping for just one survivor. One survivor in the horrible calculus of war could probably restore his faith in the galaxy. He had witnessed horrible things during the War, his life-long comrades harvested in front of his eyes turned into his own enemy. Many nights at various bars usually drowned those memories, hard liquor and 'comfort' was his solution.

"Alright boys, approaching Nimbus, brace for landing", the female shuttle pilot spoke over the intercom.

As soon as Yamaguchi set foot off the shuttle, he groaned; jungle terrain.

To him, this would mean it would take up to 4 hours to totally clear the whole colony and this meant he wouldn't be able to catch that date with a glass of whiskey.

Vega put a light hand on his shoulder and in an effort to cheer him up, simply smiled and tried to rally the other troops. Vega often used his natural leadership and charisma to his advantage, something Yamaguchi was probably the most envious of, Vega often played wingman when he awkwardly tried to talk to girls.

"You know the drill", James said as they split into two teams. "Comm me if you find anything beatin', Yamaguchi".

"You got it, boss", the other corporal replied, giving him a salute.

Yamaguchi thanked every god out there that the colonies cabins and base of operations were lined up neatly on the beach, maybe he could catch that date after all.

But to his irritation, it was still the early hours of the morning, which made covering all bases a lot harder.

Yamaguchi tried his best to curve and cross his way through this maze of a base, quickly searching and responding back and forth with Vega and maybe this time, this time they might be able to find something.

He entered into a particularly large settlement along with his team of two, and then he felt something. He didn't hear or see, he felt it in his gut and you can always trust a soldier on his gut feeling.

He gave a signal to stop and search. They both looked at each other, puzzled and alert.

And then he saw his faith.

A young girl, no younger than 16, hiding behind a kitchen worktop, a purple aura illuminating her figure and her hand outstretched, a biotic field protecting her. She had some form of albinism, pale as a sheet and long white hair with unnatural eyes.

The three soldiers stared at her, dumbfounded and somehow ecstatic.

"Man, I cannot wait to tell my boyfriend about this", one of them said, running his hand through his hair, smiling in disbelief.

Yamaguchi slowly approached her, kneeling in front of the girl, unable to keep the grin from spreading across his face.

"It's okay, you can come out", he softly said, a hand resting against the biotic field. He turned to one of the team. "Make the call to Vega's team".

"Yessir", he quickly activated his omni-tool. "Uhh, this is Beta team and we have found a female biotic hiding in one of the cabins, over".

After that, it was history, everyone relieved for finding at least one survivor in the messes that have been the aftermath of the harvesting. They quickly called the shuttle back, laughing and smiling as they made plans to conquer the next bar, leaving the night on a high note.

The girl sat between Yamaguchi and one of the female soldiers, she moved the bangs out of her eyes lovingly and covered the survivor in a safety blanket. What struck him was that the girl did not look frightened; she held a total look of apathy and indifference. Yamaguchi calculated it down to shock.

Vega crossed his arms and sat upright, reviewing the very suspicious survivor. His eyes searching for some kind of emotion on her face and something in the back of his mind whispering to him; 'Have I seen you before?'.

The girl stared back, the other self that lived inside her spoke:

'Ah, it's James'.

Vega did not want anything to do with her, honestly, her red stare gave him the creeps and the whole 'pity' thing wasn't his scene. He obviously felt for her, she was at a vulnerable age and left to survive for 3 months after the Reapers hit the colony.

But none of them did the fighting; none of them had seen what the soldiers all over the galaxy had seen, not from their crowded refugee camps and not from the safety of an underground base.

Not the shit he had seen.

Afterwards, she was quickly given over to some Alliance officials, much to Yamaguchi's worries, eager to get their hands on a survivor from one of the colonies. She was probed, analysed, tested, examined, cross-examined, and investigated until one of older investigators became blue in the face. She blamed it all on 'amnesia', hoping that it would at least answer or avoid some questions.

One of them slammed the desk and looked so frustrated that his comically large eyebrows looked like they were going to pop his face.

"Can…you at least…tell us", he held up his hands, "What…the nasty monsters did with the colonists?", his face was now 50 shades of purple.

She tilted her head and stared at him. "I can't remember", the emotions she had left felt patronized, obviously this man never dealt with a girl her age before.

They were getting nowhere; they couldn't even get a name out of her, which was something she genuinely didn't know. The girl felt like she 100 different people and all of them had different names.

So she lied, she lied about her name, date of birth, parents, siblings, life on the colony and her biotics. She told the officials her name was Eru, she was 17, and her parents were eezo researchers as a result of her biotics. But inside, she knew she was the woman who stopped it all. The woman, who they openly praised in front of her and after a while, mourned her absence. Inside of it all, she knew she was Shepard. But she wouldn't go back to her life, how could she? How could she ever return to him like this? Age regressed and a poor imitation of human being, she was not the woman he fell in love with anymore.

They labelled, packaged and sent her to Grissom without any time left to breathe, the Alliance couldn't get anything out of her and she was deemed useless. 'Oh, the irony', she thought drolly to herself. Yamaguchi promised to visit.

"When I'm finished with all this, we'll spend the holidays together", he put his hands on her shoulders with a warm smile full of sympathy. "A-and…and if you need anything, just contact me".

'Eru' played the part of a vulnerable, orphaned teen and nodded, forgetting about emotion.

And with that, she was sent to the very place she saved, this was getting odder by the day. Enrolling as a biotics student to very possibly be mentored under the very same person who you saved from a prison? She was seriously considering jumping out of the shuttle airlock; obviously she wasn't able to show this emotion on her face.

The shuttle ride was full of girls and boys like herself, lost and alone as a result of the War, all biotics and gifted engineers. She looked outside from the small and circular window and for a moment, she was blown away by the vastness of the black abyss outside.

Next Chapter: Shepard and Sarah