CHAPTER 1

This is just a chapter with background info. More exciting stuff to come Chapter 2! Stick around! :D psst I ship Filiand Kili so harrrdddd...

I remember the day Kili was born. It was a hot summer day; it was the kind of day where you called your friends over to sit around in a tree to drink chocolate milk. My red and blue striped shirt stuck to my little five year-old body. All of a sudden, my mother cried out like she was pregnant with not only a baby, but also with anticipation and relief.

I was ushered with my mother as we were rushed to the hospital. I waited in a dim hall with a half empty chocolate milk carton. I held the crushed cardboard box between my little pudgy hands, silently hoping for a good brother. The kind that didn't bother you and did your chores for you. He would be fun to play with and he would...

A faint baby's cry had snapped me out of my furrowed state. A few moments later, I was near my mother and a new born boy. I looked at him; he had the largest eyes. His pink mouth was half open with a gargling, endearing shriek. For some reason, I got a sinking feeling. I looked at Mother but she was too infatuated with him. With Kili. I slipped away behind the robes and scrubs of the doctors and nurses. I rushed back to my waiting chair, trying to figure out why I just...didn't like such an innocent child. I knew that he would be the kind of person who'd grow up liking matchbox cars and digging in the backyard. Why didn't I like him? Should I give him a chance?

No. He's too beautiful.

THREE YEARS LATER

Kili grew up like the happy kid he is. He had wild hair and his eyes were always glimmering with mischief. His days were filled with happy play dates with some of the other kids around the neighborhood.

When Kili came home, all of my relatives came to coo over him. His tiny hands would flail around, enchanting even uncle Thorin. Everyone congratulated Mother and me but I felt so...misplaced. Overused. Everyone noticed Kili but no one ever noticed me, Fili. It hurt. I knew that the day Kili was born, I would no longer retain all of my family's love. I would spend every waking hour of my day trying to avoid him, staying in my room to play by myself with my dart guns and plastic swords. After a lot of thrashing and yelling, pretend fighting, I'd glance outside my window. I'd often see Kili running around with his friends, digging up worms. It was the smile on my face that melted and yet froze my heart. How is it that he gets everything? He spends his entire day playing while I was postulated to do my chores. I had to make Kili's tiny bed. I would have to take the leaves, now the lawn and shovel our driveway. I am strong for my age but sometimes, I wish I could get some help.

Mother knew that I didn't like my little brother. I would do anything to get away from him as he tagged along with me, usually sent by my mom. Our mom. I don't think I hated him...he just...consumed everything that I ever had in my own life. My privacy, my own personal life. His gleaming brown hair would always seem to whip around in the peripherals of my sight. His giggle was always heard somewhere off in the distance. God dammit, can I just play with my friends without Kili? Everyday I'd have to push him out. Every time he came running by to me, asking me to play, I'd stare at his pudgy face with his side grin before I snapped at him and told him to go away.

This was the year my mother sent me to boarding school. She sent me to Durin's Elite Academy. I wasn't sure if it was to provide me with a better education or if it was because she realized how much I despise Kili. Every time he looked up from his breakfast cereal, he'd smile at me. His hair would flow over his shoulders and his little button nose evoked something within me—was it jealousy or love? I was grateful when I started packing for boarding school. It was relieving to not only because I could get a break from Kili, but also so I'd be able to breathe easy.

SIX YEARS LATER

I came home from Durin's Academy to celebrate my fourteenth birthday. I remember the long ride home, sitting in the back seat of the car in my pristine uniform. My once pristine uniform. The navy lapels and my blazer were rumpled, and the soft jerkin was dampened with sweat. My book bag, dense with school work, was planted on the seat next to me.

I don't know what I expected. A party? Just...relaxing from the constant looming fact that the presence of school is always there? I knew one thing to expect: Kili. He will probably be playing in the front yard, waiting for his older brother. I could imagine his beaming face now as he would run up to me, his stubby arms outstretched. I turned to lean my head against the seatbelt; the thought slightly sickened me.

After the sun started to turn gold and the breeze picked up, we turned to the familiar street. I have never been so...relieved. So proud. So...homesick. I wanted nothing more than to keep on driving, back and forth, upon the road that had irked so many childhood memories. I wanted to gaze upon the grandiose buildings and the pillars of the marble houses, each one with a gilded bay window or two. Large lawns sprawled across, each one seeming to connect with the next vast green space seamlessly. I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the car window and roll around in the luscious grass and gaze upon the sky, which is a brilliant cerulean.

Mom pulled up into the driveway. She turned off the engine and she turned her head to look at me.

"We'll, you're finally home," she said. She gives me an endearing smile but the most I could manage was a lethargic grunt from the long car ride. That, and the fact that Kili was about to invade my personal life once again.

I slide out of the car with my school bag. I hop up to the front doors and I was intent on a quick mission: eat cake, open presents, say thank you (I was raised with manners, thank you very much) and I just wanted to leaved. I wanted to go to a place where I could be left alone.

Kili had always been the center of everyone's life. Ever since he came into this world, I was pushed to the edge of the big picture. He was more beautiful, more skilled, more clever. He was perfect, while I was the grumpy older sibling. I looked like a family reject next to him. I wanted to forget about him. He's the very bane if my life; my toxin; my poison. He was the one thing that pushed me out and away from this place.

I step inside and immediately the scent of vanilla cake hits my nose. A few items were casually wrapped, resting on a side table. I glanced around. It has been six months since I've set been here—it was for winter vacation. I set my bag down and I cautiously walk in. No, there wasn't any party, it was just an empty house. An almost empty house. Uncle Thorin came out from around the corner, followed by Kili. I mustered up a smile for uncle Thorin, but I couldn't help but cringe as Kili came wheeling around the corner, barreling towards me.

"Filiiiii! Yay you're home!"

Again, another grunt. He grabs my leg and tightly winds himself around me. I blow a long strand of blonde hair away from my face as I continued walking. I headed straight for the living room, where I planned on sitting in a puffy couch to close my eyes and relax. However, three's a crowd—everyone gathered around me to hear about the latest news. Anything.

"So how is everything at school?" Thorin asks. He shuffles around anxiously with a broad smile on his face.

"Everything's fine," I reply haughtily. "Just school, you know? Tests…projects."

"That's good, that's good. You're getting all A's, right?" He gives me a slight punch to the arm. I pretend that it didn't hurt, only grimacing a bit.

"Yeah, I think so. Hope so."

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?" he asks, poking fun at me. I think he likes seeing me turn all red and squirm around in my seat, like he wants me to burn up from embarrassment right there and then. I'd be gone from his life—poof! But that's okay, because they still had Kili, right?

Speaking of Kili—he sits perched halfway up on my left knee, looking up at me with those big eyes of his. His little pink mouth is half open, and he carefully takes in what I'm saying. His face contorts a bit at the mention of a girlfriend.

"Ewww, girlfriend," he says. "Fili can't have a girlfriend, because he's all mine," he casually says. He gives me a smile.

Okay, I have to admit. He got me there.

Just then, Mother called us over to the dining room. I was thankful for that release to an uneasy situation.

The three of us rush over to where a neat little cake was, plopped on top of a silver platter. Fourteen red candles were tucked into the moist cake, each one topped with a flame. Wax started to melt into my cake, so I quickly blew them out without tradition. I crossly took a knife to serve myself a slice. I then take it with me to the front doorstep, where I eat it in the sun.

I savored the soft icing and the cake, and I watched the clouds roll in. The skies were quickly turning grey and the sun disappeared. It was nice having time to myself; at the Academy, people were constantly swirling around you. Everything was in place, and it was just you that felt….out of place. I wanted nothing more than to be alone, part of my own world. A constant breeze blew my hair around, and the heavens darkened with every passing second of my presence.

"Dis, there is something wrong with that kid," I hear. Thorin. My mind is split—should I listen in, and figure out my missing pieces? Or should I just close my eyes and lean back to shut it out and remain carefree?

I shut my eyes to try and relax. But I couldn't help it—my ears were always wide open. "What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with him," I hear my mom say.

"There's something off about him. He's gotten cold. He used to be such a nice, open child when he was younger."

"Yes, I get it. He's probably just homesick."

"No. It's Kili. He's changed ever since Kili was born. How can you not notice?"

"Well, yes. That's why I sent him to boarding school."

I hear a deep sigh. Suddenly, I can't stand it anymore. I stand up and I casually walk inside. Uncle Thorin and Mother look at me, and I give them a terse nod. I set my plate into the sink and I find myself walking quickly upstairs. I strip off my uniform, glancing at the fancy fabric and embroidering. It was the one thing that sent me away and segregated me. I take a shower with tears leaking out of my eyes. I tried to convince myself that this was just my average teenage angst phase, but I couldn't help but feel like the biggest reject of all-time. Sent away from my own family. I sniff back my runny nose and wipe my face vehemently before turning off the water.

I put on some new musty-smelling clothes from my drawers. Tomorrow, I'll be leaving. I'll get out of this place. I drag myself to my bed and pull the covers over me.

I'm such a pathetic mess. A low grumble from the grey blanket in the sky replied, almost agreeing with me. Then, downpour. Stinging pelts of rain splattered my surroundings, blurring out the window. A sharp crack of lightning illuminates the entire maelstrom, and then an ear-splitting bang of thunder nearly causes me to fall off of my bed. I bury my head under my pillow to shut everything out.

As I'm about to drift off, a pair of arms encircle my waist.

"Fili, I'm scared," a small voice murmurs. Kili.

My eyelids feel surprisingly heavy. My limbs were fatigued.

"I'm lonely Fili."

I was too tired to fend him off. His little arms barely made it around my midsection, but he held on tight. A loud rumble of thunder made him wrap around me like a piece of ivy, clinging and conforming to me. I felt his little form pressed up against me; the picture of a mother sloth with a baby precariously clinging to her is the last thing I think of before I start to fall asleep.

That was the first, but not the last time he'd be sleeping with me.