Disclaimer: I do not own or have any association towards Vicar of Dibley settings, or characters


All Up In My Grill
By Rebecca Foster

Geri was stood outside the Vicarage awaiting her Husband to come home. She was immensely excited and no one around knew why. Minutes later Harry pulled up in the most gorgeous car. Brand new today and its being on order for three months. It was sleek, shiny and black, with tinted rear windows. She didn't question why they were tinted she just thought it looked beautiful. I know it seems odd to be excited over a car but she's never owned a car before, none of her parents drove so a car wasn't something they had. He opened the window "Hello Vicar," he said huskily while revving the engine, "Fancy a drive?" he smiled. She squealed with childish delight and climbed into the passenger seat. He drove through the village and out into the open country side, the day was fine, not sunny but warm. He drove for a while before stopping at an unfamiliar pub. It was homely and best of all they ate without interruptions. They spoke of work and their friends and the topic soon came around to children. Something they spoke about over a year ago before they got married. "How about we let nature takes it course?" said Geri warmly smiling at her hansom husband. Harry face face lit up like a child's at Christmas, "You mean no pill?" he said hopefully. "No more pill, I'll stop now," she said her hand over his. The look he gave her was familiar, she felt his eyes undressing her and she knew what would be in store the second they walked into there home. Harry stopped a passing waitress and asked for there bill while Geri drank the mouthful of wine in her glass. The bill was handed to him and he briefly checked to see if everything was correct before putting the notes on top and handing it back, "No change thank you," he said politely. He stood and took his wife's hand in his. On the drive back there hands kept brushing against each other and it was like electricity. He suddenly pulled into a dirt road, and drove down until he pulled in. He got out of his car and puzzled Geri did the same. "Harry what are you doing?" she asked him. She didn't answer, only walked around to her side, closed her door and opened the back door. "Get in," he told her, his look was intense and was burning, and she didn't hesitate to do as he asked. He closed the door and walked around to his side, he looked around and saw no body, heard only birds before he climbed into the back of the car. Once the door close he looked at his wife again and smiled, "Harry wh-" then his lips were on hers as he hand came up to cress her face, she quickly fell into the kiss, and had the sudden desire to touch him, to feel the warm of his skin, she broke the kiss and pushed him back removing his jacket but it was to long apart and she pulled him back placing her hand on his back. She felt him press himself to her, and she needed him, now.

Both laid breathing hard in various stages of undress, and in the back of there new car. She didn't know what came over her husband, but she was happy it did. This was something she never dreamed would happen. He rolled onto her again and kissed her deeply before his pulled back and smiled at her. He took a strand of her stuck to her sweaty forehead and tucked it behind her ear before him lightly pecked her again. "You are beautiful," he whispered, he took his lips in hers again, he couldn't keep his hands off her. *Tap, Tap, Tap* on the car window. Harry pulled back shocked and Geri started to giggle, "Stop it," he whispered, he looked up to see the outline of a figure but who he had know idea. He ran his hands through his hair trying to put some order to it before buttoning his jeans. Again the person knocked on the window. "Quite Geri," he said seriously all signs of humour gone. He opened the door opposite to the one been knocked on and climbed out.

"Hello officer," he said recognising the local Dibley Police officer. "Afternoon Harry, new car?" he asked admiring it. "Yes, just got it today," he said smiling. "What you doing parked up here then?" Just fancied a drive and thought it would be a nice place to stop and admire the view," he casually explained. "Admire the view, from the back seat, with tinted windows?" asked the officer suspiciously. "Yeah, I admired it from the front and wondered what everyone in the back would see. Turns out not very much," he said again with ease. "Where is your wife?" he asked again. "Geri?" he asked. "Unless she has changed her name then yes I mean the vicar." 'Shit' he thought, before he he suddenly felt a hand slip into his jeans and start to lightly rub him, turns out his playful humour of not so long ago has rubbed off on her and he jumped and found it harder to think, "I saw you leave the village together," he added becoming even more suspicious. "I dropped her off in an out lining village for some meeting or other," he said trying to remain natural. "I'll be going to pick her up soon." The officer looked at him, noticed the sudden flush of his cheeks. "Very well Harry, send my regards to the vicar," he said before turning and walking back to his car, harry smiled and waved as he turned around and drove off back down the road. Once out of sight he stood back and saw a smiling Geri, "So that's how the game goes is it Vicar?" he smiled, the hunger in him returning before he climbed into the back once more.

It was at least another twenty minutes before they both regained enough to return to the front seat of the car. Harry wouldn't let his wife out of the path until he checked the road to see if the officer had indeed gone, all was clear. Returning to the front, and opening the windows Harry turned the car around and drove back down the lane, before pulling onto the road and headed back into Dibley. What he didn't see was the officer sat in his car, hidden out of sight. He was laughing to himself, he saw them come up the road together and knew Harry had being lying but thought he better at least do his job. He didn't think many from Dibley who drove hadn't come down here for the same reason at least once, even if it was in there youth.

It had been a couple of months since they got the car, and Geri still smiles at the memory of that first drive out. She still hadn't being caught pregnant but she didn't expect to. After speaking with a nurse she was informed it could take awhile for her body to get back into its own rhythm so to speak. Harry was down at the pub while Geri was enjoying the peace and quite and bottle or two of wine, she was watching a TV show on cars and how people "Pimped" them when an Idea struck her. She went to the shed and found what she was looking for, before heading out the front to her car. There she carefully, or as careful as a half cut vicar could be, she painted the grill of there white. She stood back to admire her handy work when Harry walked up, "Hey darling, what you up to out here?" he asked her putting his arm around her waist. She just smiled and looked over at the car. "What the..." he said walking up to the front of his baby, he gently touched it and it was tacky, "Geri, what the hell have you done?" he said turning to face her and got mad at her giggling. "Geri this isn't funny, you just painted our car, our new car which cost thousands," he said pacing while trying not to shout to loud in the quite village. Yet still she giggled, "Geri," he said in his obvious angry voice, he was planning on sleeping in the spare room tonight, "Geri, just tell me where you thought it appropriate to do this to our car," he said in a calm tone, to calm. "It looks like me now," she said stifling a laugh. "That doesn't give you the right... wait, what?" he said suddenly confused. She turned him around to face the car, "The car is now a vicar like me," she said giggling. "I pimped our car," she said on the verge of hysterical laugher. "You pimped our... what?" he said still confused. "Everyone had striped and things called alloys and spoilers and flames painted on theirs so I figured I would turn ours into a vicar, don't you like it," she said puzzled looking at their car. "Like it? Like it? Seriously Geri?" he said staring at her, he was extremely angry a rare emotion from him. Geri realised quickly at what she thought was funny was far from it in her husbands eyes, she walked over to him and went to wrap her arms around him and he stepped back."I'm going to bed," he said coldly. "I'll deal with that in the morning," he said turning to leave.

A minute later Geri followed him inside, locked up and headed to bed herself, he was already in there bed, on his side facing away from her. She knew she pushed him to far, and she realised what she did was stupid, it was there new car one Harry was very proud of. She climbed into bed once she changed into her pyjamas, "Harry, I am so sorry, I thought you would find it funny at the time," she said into the deathly quite room. He didn't reply. "Night Harry," she said sadly before kissing where she could reach just behind his ear.

When she kissed him he felt some of angry dispel and it took all his might not to turn around and kiss her back and forgive her on the spot, then he though back to ruined paint work on his, no, there car and it was enough to stop him. The both fell into a restless sleep that night.

Geri woke up, it was early, not long after six but it was bright out and her head ached. She rolled over to snuggle next to her husband to find him missing. Then she remember her stupid stunt she pulled last night. She groaned to her self and threw back the covers and headed downstairs to try and talk to her husband again but he wasn't in. She found him outside inspecting the damage to there car, she went out to join him and she looked at in it horror. What she thought was an amazing job was far from it. She got think blobs of white paint on the bumper and bonnet, and it was pebble dashed white across the bumper, bonnet and lights. She walked next to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "I'm so sorry," she said and he pulled away, a new anger built up in him. Geri went in and got dressed before heading to the church as to keep out of his way.

He spent all morning researching and ringing up Audi Specialists in order to repair his car, the main dealership wanted to do a respray on the bonnet and bumper, and replace the grill and it would cost hundreds. Others said they would remove it by removing a layer of paint, which he agreed sounded better then the whole re-spray. He then found a place that could do it without having to re-spray it or T-cut it, just removed the paint and replace the grill, and they could do it today. Sounded ideal to him. As he went to climb into his car he looked over at the church, contemplating going to say bye, but he was still annoyed with her, not angry like he was last night or this morning but annoyed. He would see how it went with the paint work as to what mood he would be in with her when he got home. He got in his car and drove off. What he didn't see was Geri stood at the side of the church, she saw him look and then just leave and it broke her heart. She went into the church and prayed that he would forgive her soon. She knew he would, but she couldn't bare for him to look at her like he did last night again any time soon.

Harry arrived at the place and pulled up outside, a young guy, in his mid twenties came out to him and introduced himself as Tony. "So this is the beauty you was telling me about on the phone ay?" he asked Harry as he looked around it. "Yeah," replied harry. "What the fuck? Who does this to a A7?" he asked close to tears. Tony was passionate about cars. Harry gave him an unimpressed look over his use of language, "My wife thought she would make it look like a vicar after a glass of wine last night," he explained. "What? She's crazy. What idiot would want to make there car look like a vicar?" he asked again wide eyed, once again his passion for cars getting the best of him. "Maybe a Vicar, and I would appreciate it if you didn't call my wife crazy," he explained with a hint of hostility towards the young man, and slightly arrogant man, Tony looked at him trying to work out if he was telling the truth about his wife being a vicar. "She thought it would be funny," said Harry again, "Now, can you removed the paint without damaging the cars paintwork or not?" "Sorry sir," he said quickly changing his attitude, "And yes I can, its fresh so should be easy, but the grill will need replacing. You're looking at a couple of I'm afraid, we'll have to removed any paint that got on the radiator," he explained. "That fine, is there anywhere I can wait?" he asked. Tony showed him towards a small grubby room with hard chairs, a dirty coffee machine and a window where you can view what's happening. He got his laptop from his front seat and did some work while waiting.

Roughly every ten minutes Harry stood and watched the progress. The paint removed easily and now he was going a wax on the full car. Last time he checked it was bonnet he was working on. When he looked again they were replacing the grill with a standard black on at which point Harry went to stop them, "I want a white one fitted please," he stated. "But this is the colour for this car," said Tony. "I don't care, my wife wanted a white grill so I'll get a white grill on it," he said, "I am paying for it so I would like what I want please." Tony sighed deeply and walked away, he returned a few minutes later, white grill in hand, "This one okay sir?" he asked. Harry nodded and headed back to retrieve his laptop. When he got back to his car Tony was tightening the last screw, he closed the bonnet and asked Harry to inspect it. He placed his laptop back in the car and checked the paint work with a fine tooth comb. It was perfect, you couldn't tell that only a couple of hours ago it was splashed with white paint. "With that I used I had to wax the bonnet and bumper because it leaved a residue on it, and then I realise that these were slightly shinier then the rest of the car so I did the whole car," he explained, "No extra cost," he also quickly added. "Everything is fine thank you. Where do I pay?" asked Harry. Tony took him to an office to the side where Harry paid and got a receipt. He shook Tony's hand, contemplating weather to tell him to watch his attitude, Geri would have done. He quickly changed his mind knowing he wouldn't listen even if he did.

When he arrived back at the cottage he walked in to find Geri sat eating Ice Cream from the tub, numerous chocolate bar wrappers around her, and a tear stained face. This wasn't a good sign. He felt bad that he made her upset like this, no matter how angry he was she shouldn't be sat here as upset as she was. He quietly walked over to behind the cough and wrapped his arms around her. She jumped not hearing him enter, "I'm sorry," he said quietly, in her ear before kissing her just below it. "No Harry I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, it was stupid," she said on the verge of tears again. He moved around and sat next to her on the couch. "You shouldn't have done, and it was silly, but I shouldn't have been so angry at you, I shouldn't ever make you upset like this," he said removing the Ice cream from her and taking her hand in his. "I know you thought it would be funny, and maybe I would have found it funny if it hadn't have been my car, or the car wasn't new. I was shocked," he explained. "I should have talked to you instead of ignoring you," he said. "I guess we both learned a lesson today haven't we?" she replied with semi smile on her face. "I love you Geraldine Kennedy," he said before giving her a long, loving kiss. He pulled back, "Did you get it repaired?" she asked. "Come and see," he said grabbing her and and pulling her up and outside.

When she said the car she welled up again, still slightly emotional. The car looked as good as new and it came with a lovely white grill. "The grill," she said chocked up. He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "The guy who did the car was a rude arrogant young man, and well... he made he realise that as much as it was silly, you just wanted to put your own touch on the car. Therefore I demanded that grill, so you can have your vicar car," her told her. She turned around to face him beaming, "Thank you Harry," she said before kissing him deeply. "Just promise me that next time you want to change something on the car, don't do a DIY job, just talk to me," he said smiling. She laughed and once again kissed him again.


Tada, another story done a finished, I hope you liked it. I had trouble with the end and on the advice of my wonderful friend I rewrote it. The idea came to me bored one night and I figured if in the right mood it would be something Geri would do. Please Review. The only thing I like more then reviews are Hugs :)