Jesus, it's been three years and I still get updates on this story! I meant it when I said it was created as a two-shot but after all this time and the love it still gets I figured I could treat you to a "two years later" sort of snippet. Thank you so, so much! Your reviews, comments, and advice has meant so much to me and I greatly appreciate all the love you have for this crossover bunny. I guess this is my present to you for being such a loving audience and it warms my heart to present you with a story that takes place the morning after a party at Akashi's place.

I still do not own any of the mentioned properties no matter how much I wish I did.

Her tongue felt like an over-weight slug wrapped in cotton. And she was pretty sure her brain had decided to go a match or twelve with the big guy from Shitenhouji. Her eyes felt like someone was pressing their thumbs into them, her torso like she had done a week's worth of weight training in a single night, and she thought one of her big toes may have been chopped off and reattached during the night. It should also be noted that she had no idea what she was laying on top of. It sort of felt like shingles.

So this was what partying with the Generation of Miracles did to a person.

Several things happened at once after that particular thought floated through her mind. Firstly, she had tried (in a moment of a sheer stupidity) to open her eyes and maybe begin to catalogue her surroundings and remember what the hell had happened the night before. As it turned out, her sense of touch was just as overachieving as the other senses listed on her stats and her beautiful, fragile, eyes were not given the reprieve of closed curtains. Not even open curtains.

When Echizen Ryouko opened her orbs of a lovely golden hue she let out a shriek worthy of a high caliber banshee, and promptly flopped off the roof of Akashi Seijuro's house.

Or perhaps the better term may be chateau. Maybe even manor, Ryouko groaned to herself and she attempted to peel herself off his front lawn. She was partway to her knees when she heard the disapproving clucking of one of the gardeners.

"No respect for the state of the shingles." An older, pudgier lady said before tottering toward the hydrangeas.

Never in her life had Ryouko had a hangover like this. Not at the wrap up party of her junior year at Seishun, nor even that time with Ryoga in Poland. It was like her insides were on a code red operation to get on the outside. Her heart may have even relocated to her head for the time being if the pounding was any indication.

Death was starting to seem preferable to opening her eyes again at this point. And she had had so much still ahead of her. Ponta to drink, rivals to beat, Kise to kiss.

Kise!

If that name, and the memories of what he may or may not have done (they felt a bit more like hallucinations) last night weren't motivation to keeping on kicking, nothing would be. Or rather, the revenge she was going to enact on her boyfriend for his beyond stupid idea to knock back saké shots was fueling her continued survival. That and the return of the Baa-san bringing her a glass of water.

She didn't have a proper plan, her head was still keeping a beat like she was at a Motley Crew concert, but she had ugly determination. And she would crawl towards Kise's prone body and turn it into a corpse before he could even think to open his pretty mouth and let out a scream.

It was an arduous journey. But that may have been because her arm muscles had given out around two that morning and had spent her time on the roof stiffening up. She had learned from the Baa-san, who would come to check up on her pilgrimage from time to time, that it was three in the afternoon and that, to the woman's knowledge, she had in fact slept up there for most of the morning. How she got up there had yet to be determined but as Ryouko finally crossed into the manor's threshold she began to recall how it had gotten to that point.

It had begun as normally as any other athletics party. That is to say, they violated every noise bylaw in area with how loud the music had been cranked up, violated several more laws regarding public indecency when Kagami and Aomine had decided to race each other and claimed that flimsy uniforms made for terrible wind resistance, and participated in the relatively minor offense of underage drinking. She was sure she saw some seniors disappear at some point to participate in some more illicit activities but at the time she had been more enraptured in Murasakibara's attempt to prove his claim that he could stuff a bag's worth of marshmallows in his mouth.

And then Kise had cracked out his gift from his modeling sempai's. Five bottles of high quality sake that had an alcohol content through the roof. Midorima's protests were standard, but everyone from Kuroko to Takao were hesitant to go near the liquid death. There was drinking, and then there was drinking.

It had been such a bad idea.

They could have died.

Kise was going to die.

Ryouko heaved herself up a short flight of stairs and slid past a sprawled mass that had once been the Generation of Miracles' point guard. He was crumpled at the bottom of a larger flight of stairs like he's been pushed down them and his glasses were nowhere to be seen. The tennis prodigy mourned the fallen before trekking on. There was nothing to be done for him.

Next came a heap of bodies, the mosh pit she remembered suddenly, with only a few swaths of hair she could identify. She saw some Navy blue poking out from under a burly guys' arm and some tufts of red and black that could only belong to the basketball brothers. They too were dead to the world and not even the unpleasant static coming from the sound system could wake them up.

One by one she slowly made her way around the night's victims. She sent out her prayers but the majority of her focus was on finding her prey. Each set of bodies gave her more meaning to continue her journey and punish the source. What had his sempai's been thinking giving that kind of weapon to such an airhead?

It wasn't until she picked past a broken pool table and the crumpled form of Murasakibara that true progress was made. She heard a noise coming from the chateau's kitchens. With an even quicker speed she crawled her way to the room with a partially cracked door. She was pushing her way inside when she heard the familiar sound.

"No… no… please…" Those were Kise's whimpers. The puppy sounding, pathetically intoned, groveling noise came from her boyfriend. The whimpers were his. Ryouko's eyes narrowed from cat-like to slitted.

Those were her boyfriend's whimpers.

And she wasn't the cause.

Ryouko pushed the door with enough force that it hit the counter on the other side and heaved herself into the kitchen. The tableau that met her was not one she found pleasing.

Kise was clearly suffering, his hands were tied expertly together with a dishcloth and he was being bent backwards to the point where she was impressed, but the one doling the punishment was the master of the house. And Akashi looked much too pleased to be forcing his former teammate's head into the sink and repeatedly under a stream of water.

Her boyfriend was making gurgling noises and Akashi was whispering something that made him smile, Ryouko shuddered. And to top it off, Tetsumi was sitting on a kitchen chair watching the proceedings like a shady yakuza boss.

The noise of Ryouko's entrance put a pause on Kise's torment. The only noise for a time was the gasping of Kise trying to catch his breath as the three prodigies stared each other down. It was only when the dull, powder blue (she didn't show it but Ryouko just knew her head was killing her just as much as Ryouko's was) communicated silently with the feline gold that Kise was released from his anguish. Akashi looked put out but quietly followed his girlfriend out of the kitchen, probably to bring life back to the dead.

Kise looked half drowned, miserable, and had smears of what looked to be butterscotch pudding on his pants. Ryouko could proudly say that she had absolutely no idea where that came from. But however it came to be, she hoped that it had been most unfortunate for him.

"H-hime…" Kise gasped out, crocodile tears leaking copiously down his pink cheeks. "I'm so, so s-sorry-" he couldn't get the rest out as he fell into sobs. Ryouko couldn't pinpoint if they were mostly caused by his regret or his impromptu waterboarding. Either way, even she couldn't squash the twangs of sympathy that were manifesting in her heart. If nothing else, at least she could be thankful to him for reminding her that she actually had a conscience. Momo had thought that she had rid herself of it years ago.

She sighed and heaved her body into an upright sitting position. Ryouko ignored the screaming of her back muscles as she tried to organize her feelings for her boyfriend. And wasn't that a novelty for her? Thinking before speaking. Tezuka was probably patting himself on the back somewhere.

"I'm very angry with you." She began and Kise somehow managed to curl further into himself. His cries had turned into soft hiccups though so she knew he was listening.

"We could have died." This she felt she needed state clearly. If not from alcohol poisoning but from the sight of Kagami starkers. They were actually quite lucky all things considered.

"But I feel that waking up to those two's retribution has probably drilled that into you more than anything I could have done." And with a reluctant sigh, Ryouko felt the last of her vengeance bleed out of her. She just didn't have it in her to follow up Akashi's frankly medieval methods. Also he was her boyfriend and she figured there was most likely a rule out there that said she had to be on his side or something.

She reached up and patted his head, not even blinking an eye when he rubbed his face into it like some kind of golden retriever. There came a point when she had accepted the fact that Kise didn't need substance abuse to act strangely. She supposed that this scene just proved how well they worked together.

And it was in that position that the two remained for a while, listening to the rest of the house slowly waking up. The agonizing groans and growls of various basketball players making the perfect soundtrack for their moment together. It was when they heard the quiet sobs that could only belong to that fluffy cat-boy on Tetsumi's team that Ryouko turned to him again.

"You realize though that you're going to be paying for Ponta for the next five years." The golden boy chuckled wetly and cuddled into her.

"Hime, I've been doing that anyway."

Just a few notices: Firstly, I changed the rating of this story because of the mentions of substance abuse and comedic nudity. Secondly, I still don't have a beta so what you get is what you get! And thirdly, I'd just like to thank you all again for being so wonderful. Please continue to review if you like the update. This was vaguely inspired by what I expected and what I got out of my own grad party so cheers to that!

Remember kiddies to drink responsibly and safely. :)