Wassup peeps! Basically been feeling SO ill! So this was my inspiration =D thank you to all the peeps who supported my writing! I dislike the whole naming process as I know I always leave someone out, so thank you if you've commented/faved/followed =)

First cold of Hellsing= Integra, hope you enjoy!

There were groaning sounds and Alucard stopped dead outside his master's room. More moans and Alucard grinned. Was this the day? Complete, absolute and unconditional humiliation? He heard it, the sound of tissues being ripped from a box and more groans. He'd be dammed if he just stood there and allowed this opportunity to go to waste, and even more dammed if he'd ever let her forget it.

He burst into the room, charging forth, finger at the ready to point and laugh, insane grin reaching from ear to ear…only to turn into a confused scowl.

"Arucard?" His master mumbled. Alucards shoulders slumped, maybe not the humiliation he'd been dreaming of.

He stared at his master, her usual pale delicate nose now sore and bright red, weary eyes behind lopsided silver glasses. Normally well-kept platinum blond hair now stuck up at odd angles like she'd been dragged through a bush. The curtains had been drawn so only a pleasant sunset orange lit the room. She sat cross-legged in the middle of her double bed amidst a sea of tissue papers, a blue blanket wrapped around her and business papers sat in front of her.

"Master." He deadpanned. "You're looking well…"

"Say anything." She hissed dangerously. "And I swear I'll…I'll..IACHEW!" She sneezed and Alucard cocked his head to the side. "You'll what?"

She looked at him confused. "Hu?"

"You were about to threaten me."

"Oh…well."" She blew he nose rather loudly and sniffed. "Be imaginative, bake something up for be."

She didn't see the mischievous glint in his eye, instead too preoccupied with keeping the snot from dribbling from her nose.

"Well." He began to walk forwards. "I can think of a few things, master." She caught onto his game and glared at him from her position on the bed.

"I would say handcuffs, but chains would probably be better suited." He grinned, still moving towards her. "Hands strapped above my head." He moved onto the bed. "Legs apart." He crawled forwards and she stared deadpan at him. "And of course you, my master." He was inches from her face now. "Punishing me without disgr…"

"ACHEW!"

Alucard stopped dead, slowly coming to terms with the fact that he'd just been sneezed on.

She giggled slightly. "I would say sorry, but you qui'e literally walked into tha' one."

The no life kind winkled his nose and leaned backwards, taking the tissue his master held out to him.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

She smirked. "What was tha' punishbent again? Arms above head? Legs apart? Sneezed on?"

"Yes alright shut up."

Usually the knight would never allow him to order her about, but this was an exception.

She closed her sore eyes and sniffed unattractively.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Asked Alucard eyeing the business papers in front of her.

She glared at him- or tried her very best- through half closed eyelids, (in actual fact just looking like she was about to doze off). "Doe." She said. "I'm am fine." She re-adjusted the blue blanket and Alucard smirked. "You look like a grandma."

"And you smell like one."

"Hu?"

"I don't kno-ACHEW- know." She sighed. "Leave me alone." Silence. "My head hurts." She grumbled.

He chuckled moving the papers to the side and readjusting her glasses for her. She made a small sound and reached pathetically for them, grabbing like a small child. He gently pushed her back. "The head of Hellsing will not progress if you do not rest and get better."

"Gimmi my papers." She demanded.

"No."

"Gimmi!"

"Make me."

She a short un-lady like laugh. "All righ' then." She sat up grinning. "Arucard, gimmi my papers right…right." She pulled a funny face and both master and slave waited for the sneeze…it didn't come. "Now." She sighed when back to normal.

He laughed. "Orders have to be clear Master."

She frowned, sniffing. "Tha' was clear."

…"My names not Arucard."

A pause and her head fell forwards, directly into the no-life king's lap. She stayed there, head on his knee, blond hair splayed out over his lap. "Tired." She breathed.

He grinned, thinking of all the opportunities to tease her that arose from this situation, but decided against it. Instead he gently stroked her hair. "Indeed master. Rest."

He lent back on one arm and continued stroking her hair, maybe it wasn't complete humiliation, but it was still pleasant.

Things Integra says are purposefully spelt wrong! Hope you liked it! Who gets a cold next though? ;)