A/N: OLAF! It's me, IFYOUCOULDFLY! I'm so so so so so sorry! I took forever with this chapter! Gods, end of the year is way too busy…so that sucks. I honestly thought I'd have more time to write, but….guess not :P. Don't worry, I'm not already breaking my promise (nor do I intend to, ever)! Remember, anything in bold print that isn't an Author's Note IS RICK RIORDAN'S, NOT MINE. On that note, read on!

-Third-Person P.O.V.-

Zeus grabbed the book, opened the cover, and began to read.

I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher.

All of Hermes and Apollo's sons, Hermes, and Apollo burst out laughing. "Only you could manage to do that, Perce. Only you." Thalia muttered, rolling her eyes.

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.

Clarisse snorted. "Who does?" Chris asked, and the gods frowned. "Is it really that bad?" Hestia asked quietly, and the demigods shifted around uncomfortably.

If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:

"RUN!" Nico screeched, and everybody jumped. "What the heck?" Percy asked, and Katie cut in, wide-eyed. "Oh, gods. You're giving advice?" Percy glared at them while the gods stared at them, some amused and some just confused.

close this book right now, believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.

"Hey, that wasn't too bad." Annabeth said, and Percy beamed. "Except for the fact that monsters would come after us and we'd die without having a single clue about what was happening. They'd still have our scent. We just wouldn't know. Leave the plans to me, Perce." Percy sighed, and Athena smiled. "Definitely my Annabeth." She thought.

Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.

The future visitors looked down sadly, and the gods looked at them worriedly.

If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.

But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.

"Well, that's dark." Poseidon mumbled, and the other gods nodded. These were their children, they didn't want any harm to come to them.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

"But you didn't!" The demigods protested, and Percy face-palmed.

My name is Percy Jackson.

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Really? I thought your name was Stacey. The book's just named Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief because the author's insane." Everyone laughed at this, and Percy glanced at Dionysus. "I don't know. Maybe this was put here to help a certain GOD OF WINE remember."

At this, Dionysus looked up. "I can remember your name just fine, Perry Johnson!" The god growled, and the demigods cracked up.

I'm twelve years old.

Some of the gods exchanged sad looks. "Why do they always have to be so young?" They thought, and Poseidon gulped. "That's only five years from now…."

Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.

Am I a troubled kid?

"Yes!" The demigods chorused, and Percy rolled his eyes. "Man, I hated Yancy." Grover added.

Yeah. You could say that.

"HA! HE AGREES!" Artemis shouted suddenly, making everybody in the room jump. "Sorry." She mumbled. "It's OK, Percy. The first step to solving your problem is admitting you have it." Rachel said with mock sincerity, and the future visitors (minus Chiron) snickered. Zeus grunted. "Could you please not interrupt me every second?" He grumbled, then turned back to reading.

I could start at any point in my short, miserable life to prove it,

Annabeth slid her hand into Percy's secretively and squeezed, giving him a small smile. "It's not that bad, I guess." He whispered, smiling.

but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan-twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

"Lucky!" Athena and Annabeth cried out at the same time, then smiled at each other, eyes bright with eagerness. "Okay then, I'm pretty darn certain I know who's daughter you are." Poseidon joked, and everybody nodded.

I know-it sounds like torture.

"Percy!" Annabeth cried, smacking him on the head, and Percy grumbled. Clarisse and Ares snickered, their laughs sounding creepily similar.

Most Yancy field trips were. But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

"Yes!" Chiron shouted, and he high-fived Grover and Percy. The gods and demigods (and Tyson) looked at them curiously.

Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool,

"Hey!" Chiron cried, and everyone laughed. They'd figured out who he was as soon as Zeus had said "wheelchair". Dionysus frowned. "How come you went to Yancy just for Pedro?" No one answered.

but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class.

"Oh. Okay." Chiron said, nodding. "Everyone knows you were the best teacher, Chiron!" Grover said.

He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.

Annabeth and Athena shook their heads sadly.

I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.

Boy, was I wrong.

Poseidon frowned. "Percy's fine. He's here, right?" He thought, trying to calm himself.

See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with the Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyways.

At this, nearly everyone laughed. "Percy make things go boom!" Tyson cried happily, throwing his arms in the air and giggling. This made everyone laugh even harder.

And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.

The room burst out into another bout of laughter. "I love this kid!" Hermes laughed crazily. Apollo and surprisingly Ares nodded. "Yeah, so far he's caused a decent amount of destruction. Keep it up, punk."

Percy and Clarisse's jaws dropped, horrified. "You like me?" Percy exclaimed. "No! It's the apocalypse all over again!" Clarisse screamed. The gods chuckled, except for Athena. "Wait, again? Apocalypse again?!" The demigods glanced at each other, and the gods stared at them, wide-eyed (or in Dionysus's case, with a hint of hopefulness).

And the time before that…well, you get the idea.

"Aw, I wanna hear more!" Apollo whined, and Artemis rolled her eyes.

This trip, I was determined to be good.

More snorts from the Futures.

All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.

The goddesses (besides Artemis) and female demigods (besides Thalia) all made sickened faces. "That's disgusting!" Aphrodite squealed, turning green. Grover shuddered, remembering Nancy's awfulness.

Grover was an easy target.

"Hey!" Grover cried, glaring at Percy, who shrugged. "Sorry, G-man. You were back then." Suddenly, Zeus rushed up out of his chair, lightning blazing in his eyes. "YOU! YOU ARE THE FOOLISH SATYR THAT ALLOWED MY DAUGHTER TO BECOME A TREE! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Dad, calm down. I'm fine, geez." Thalia butted in, stepping in front of the shaking Grover. Zeus gaped. "But…but you're a tree." He stuttered, and his teenage daughter rolled her eyes. "Do I look like one? A friend helped me out with that." She nudged Percy. Zeus stood there for a moment, then nodded briskly and read once more, hiding his smile.

He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled.

Grover bleated/moaned. "Thanks for the description, Perce. You're a real pal." "Erm…but all these things make you totally awesome? Like…in a Grover way?" Percy offered, and Nico snorted.

He had a not excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

"Way to blow your cover. Stupid satyrs." Dionysus mumbled, and Chiron sighed. "We've got to start training you guys for undercover work." Grover shrugged sheepishly (or goatishly…wow that was officially the worst pun of all time…).

Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death

At this, Poseidon's head shot up, eyes wide. "Death?! What? Did Zeus just say somebody threatened my son with DEATH?" He thought, panicked. The Olympians glanced at him curiously.

by in-school suspension

Poseidon relaxed again, and Percy smiled.

if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.

"Aw!" The gods and Artemis moaned. "This guy's no fun!" Apollo complained.

"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.

"Do it!" Everyone in the room shouted, and they abruptly stopped and stared around awkwardly.

Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."

"PEANUT BUTTER'S THE BEST!" Tyson shouted, making everyone jump, and Poseidon smiled at his son. Tyson smiled back.

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.

Ares pouted.

"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.

Poseidon shot his son a worried look, and Percy shrugged, smiling. "So he does care…." He thought, turning to Annabeth, who was smiling. She was the only other person in the room to catch the exchange.

Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.

He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.

Every person in the room (besides Tyson, who wouldn't know anyways) opened their mouths to correct Percy, but he held his hands up before they could. "I know now, OK? This was me before I knew about all this demigod stuff." Athena and Annabeth frowned, not liking the scenario.

He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on top,

Annabeth bristled at this, and all the people that had been in the Labyrinth with her rolled their eyes. "Just let it go-." Grover began, but Annabeth quickly silenced him with a glare. The others, who were thoroughly confused, decided to keep reading.

and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds,

Grover, Chiron, and Percy all shuddered. "Hey, isn't that what you called-?" Nico asked, and stopped at Percy's brief nod. "Are they just trying to confuse us?" Ares muttered. "You're always confused." Athena muttered back.

would give me the evil eye.

Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old.

Hades glanced at Percy, who nodded. "Great. Why'd I send Alecto after him?" He thought. At this, Ares moaned. "WHY am I suddenly the only one that doesn't understand this whole telepathic-communication thing?!"

Poseidon frowned. "What telepathic-communication thing?" He asked, and Athena rolled her eyes. "Kelp Head." Poseidon's frown deepened. "Whatever, Owl Face." Everyone watched this exchange, smiling.

"Hey, they're like you guys!" Will shouted, shoving his head between Annabeth and Percy, who glared at him. "We are not!" They cried in unison, then glared at each other. "Not helping, Wise Girl." Percy said. "Oh, I'm sorry. Should I try harder to read your mind next time?" Annabeth shot back. "I didn't say that! Will you quit doing stuff like that?" "Like what? Gods, Percy, you're so FRUSTRATING!" "…you know, maybe we are like them." Percy stated quietly.

Annabeth turned to see everyone in the room staring at them, blinking. All was silent, besides a small squealing sound that was coming from Aphrodite's throne. "…Lord Zeus, I recommend we continue reading." She said quietly and, for once, the Lord of the Skies obeyed.

She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.

Ares and Clarisse got this evil glint in their eyes, and everyone else gulped.

She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.

"Who wouldn't?" Thalia asked. "Yeah, with Percy, anybody would. Except maybe Chiron." Nico added. Percy rolled his eyes at them. "Gee, thanks, guys. Love you too."

From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet,

"She still does that?!" Hades cried. Poseidon glared at him. "He sent one of his monsters after my son? How dare he?!" He thought.

Nico moaned. "I never wanted to hear the word 'honey' again. If she-OW!" Thalia elbowed him. "Not now." She hissed. "It'll only complicate things."

and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.

Apollo, Hermes, and the demigods winced. "Harsh." Apollo muttered. Grover and Percy shuddered and nodded.

One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."

"Way to blow your cover again. Whatever possessed me to use satyrs for this job, I'm not sure." Dionysus grumbled, and Grover ducked his head. Annabeth slung her arm around him comfortingly, and Percy jabbed him in the stomach playfully.

"Aw, G-man, you know you weren't meant for that job anyways. You're like, the Chosen Satyr or whatever." Grover smiled. "Thanks, Perce."

Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele,

Annabeth frowned. "That's completely disrespectful! It's funeral art, to honor the dead! And I'm certain that some ancient artist wouldn't exactly appreciate-."

"JUST SHUT UP!" All the other kids from the future (I'm including Grover and Tyson in that) shouted, causing the Olympians, besides Athena and Hestia, to snicker.

Annabeth's face turned a bright crimson. "Fine then. Maybe I will." She huffed, crossing her arms and staring ahead sincerely. Percy rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon, Wise Girl." Annabeth just stared at some point in the wall, not moving.

"Annnnnnnnnnnnnaaaabeeeeeeeethhhhhh….." He whined, poking her arm. No reaction. "…Annie?" He tried, waving his hand in front of her face. Annabeth just looked the other way. "Oh my gods, Percy. You're so hopeless…." Thalia muttered.

Zeus took this opportunity to continue reading. He didn't like the glare that Percy boy was giving his daughter.

and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"

It came out louder than I meant it to.

"Of course it did, Percy." Connor groaned. "You've just got the most fabulous luck, I guess!" Travis shouted, standing up and waving his hands in the air like an idiot. "Travis, shut up and stop acting like a demented windmill." Katie snapped, pulling him back into his seat. Travis blushed and mumbled something incoherent, and Aphrodite continued her squealing rampage.

The whole group laughed.

Poseidon frowned again. He didn't like the idea of mortals making fun of his son.

Mr. Brunner stopped his story. "Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"

My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."

"He may be a centaur, but he's just like every other teacher. Always embarrassing the students…." Rachel mumbled. "Really? Like the others?" Annabeth asked. "He's too awesome! Like ME!" Apollo cried, surprising everyone, and Artemis smacked him.

Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"

I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"

Poseidon, Hades, Hera, Demeter, and Hestia all shuddered. "Yeah, definitely not my definition of a good day." Hades muttered. "HE SHOULD HAVE EATEN CERAL INSTEAD!" Demeter squawked, and everyone besides Katie groaned.

"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because…"

Zeus rolled his eyes. "Geez, Chiron. You do realize they're demigods, right?" Everyone stared at the King of Gods, none more stupefied than Percy. "That's it. I'm officially delusional. Tell me when the hallucination's over!" He cried dramatically, and the kids from the future snorted. Zeus just shrugged and continued reading.

"Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"

Zeus flung himself up from his throne, lightning flashing behind him. "I TAKE THAT BACK! HOW COULD YOU BE SO IGNORANT? I OUGHT TO FRY-." "Oh, relax, Drama King. I'm certain that Chiron will correct him." Poseidon cut in, and Chiron nodded. After shooting a glare at his brother, Zeus sat down and continued to read.

"God?" Mr. Brunner asked. "Titan," I corrected myself.

See?" Poseidon said smugly.

"And…he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"

"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.

"You try being there!" Demeter scoffed.

"-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."

Zeus groaned, and Ares looked furious. "Seriously, punk? You take a war of that wondrous magnitude, and turn it into-into that?! HOW DARE YOU?!"

Percy just laughed. "OK, so Ares and Zeus hate me again. This is starting to turn pretty normal." Poseidon gulped.

Some snickers from the group.

Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"

The Olympians, minus Hestia, who was always kind, were outraged. "Oh, so we're not important, then?" Hephaestus growled. "But-but I'm super important!" Aphrodite wailed.

"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

"HA!" The Olympians shouted. "Take that, obnoxious mortal!" Hera hissed. "Man, I hated Nancy." Percy and Grover chorused.

"Busted," Grover muttered.

"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.

Chiron frowned. "Was it really that red? Her hair was pretty bright." He mused. "Yeah, Perce, I don't know. I mean, her hair was like, brighter than Rachel's." Grover added. Percy nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know. Rachel's is pretty red."

Rachel glared at Percy. "It isn't that red!" Percy scoffed. "Your initials spell RED, Rachel. That's how red your hair is." The young oracle rolled her eyes. "That doesn't even make sense! What do my initials have to do with my hair?" Percy just shrugged, and Rachel smiled smugly.

At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.

"Or at least horse ears." Annabeth added.

I thought about his question,

Thalia gaped. "Percy can think?" "First advice, now he's reflecting on a question asked by a teacher? What's happening?!" Nico added. Percy sighed. "Sometimes, I don't know why I even put up with any of you guys."

All of the future kids leaned into him, squishing him in the center. "BECAUSE YOU LOOOOOOOOVE US." They said in unison, snickering. The Olympians and Chiron watched, most of them smiling. Dionysus and Hades never smiled, and Athena didn't like how close her daughter was to that boy Percy.

and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."

"Now that's more like you, Jackson." Clarisse nodded. "For a second we were worried, Percy. I thought you'd gone nuts." Chris joked.

Percy rolled his eyes and smiled.

"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"

Aphrodite looked green. "How could someone eat after hearing that?" Hera and Demeter glared. "Oh, come on. You weren't even there!" Hera scoffed. "You'd have no idea how purely disgusting Father's stomach was." Demeter finished. Aphrodite just looked at them haughtily. "It's still gross. Don't go all 'back in the day' on me."

The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.

"So…like Apollo and Hermes?" Artemis asked with mock innocence. "What…HEY!" The two gods shouted, and Artemis sighed. "Boys are idiots."

Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."

I knew that was coming.

"PSYCHIC!" The futures shouted. Percy nodded. "Yes. I now predict that….Clarisse will say something stupid!" Said girl growled. "I will not! You'll say something stupid!" Everyone in the room besides Ares snickered.

"What can I say?" Percy said, grinning. "I'm just mystical like that."

I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"

Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go-intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and seen everything.

"Well, not everything…and I may be just a little older than that…" Chiron said, smiling.

"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.

"About the Titans?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Really? Gosh, you really don't change at all." Percy frowned. "Oh, come on. I'm not that predictable." Annabeth eyed him disbelievingly. "Right. Up next, Chiron will correct you, and you'll just stupidly say: 'Oh'."

Everyone that knew Percy snickered while Poseidon glared at Annabeth.

"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."

"Oh."

This time, everyone but Poseidon laughed, even Percy. "OK, OK. So now Annabeth knows me better than I know myself. Great." Annabeth smirked triumphantly. "It's always been that way, Seawe – Percy. You've just never realized it."

They smiled at each other, and Poseidon's frowns deepened. "Oh, Athena's not going to like this." He thought.

"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.

Chiron sighed. "It was for the best, Percy." He said. Percy nodded. "I know that now, and I'm grateful for it. Sorry for being so…difficult." Chiron smiled. "I'm used to it."

I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped.

Grover rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon, it wasn't that extreme, Percy." Percy glanced at him, eyebrows raised, and Grover sighed. "Ok, maybe it was."

But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

Everyone glanced at Percy sympathetically. And awkward silence passed over them, thankfully broken by a certain Cyclopes.

"Don't be sad. I can't read!" Tyson announced loudly, and everyone laughed.

I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.

Hades looked at Percy, dead serious, and said, "He was." (I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.) Chiron sighed sadly. "Poor Phaidra." He muttered.

He told to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured it was global warming or something, because the weather had been weird since Christmas.

The Olympians all stared curiously at Zeus, who shrugged defensively. "How would I know?! It hasn't happened yet!"

We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.

"Oh, fantastic. Now my idiot brother's done something to mess up everything." Zeus groaned. Poseidon glared. "I'm certain it was your fault. You're such a drama queen, you probably just were jealous of me or something." Lightning flashed. "Why the Hades-sorry brother-would I be jealous of you?"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding!" Athena shouted. "You idiots don't even know what you're fighting over!" Hera scolded, and everyone tried to hold back their laughter.

Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers.

"Boys are idiots." Artemis and Thalia chorused, smiling at each other. "Oh, great!" Hermes moaned. "There's two of them now?!" Apollo cried. The Hunters just rolled their eyes.

Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.

The Olympians looked at Hermes curiously. "One of your brats, maybe?" Dionysus drawled, casually flicking through his magazine. Hermes and the Stolls made faces. "No way!" They both shouted, then smiled at each other.

"Yeah," Percy continued, "she was ugly enough to be one of Ares's." Ares glared. "Watch it, punk." Percy just laughed. Poseidon watched nervously, resisting the urge to facepalm. Why did his son have to be so…like him?

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school – the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.

Everyone with any amount of emotion in the room stared at Percy and Grover, eyes wide. It was all Poseidon could do to not get up and give his son a hug. "Of course," he thought, "Zeus would blast Percy to pieces if that happened. I'd best not."

All the people surrounding Grover and Percy gave them sympathetic smiles. Annabeth inched closer to Percy, slipping her hand into his and shifting so the gesture couldn't be seen. Of course, all the future people on the couch noticed and smiled.

"Detention?" Grover asked.

"Nah." I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean – I'm not a genius."

"Well, duh. That much is obvious." Athena muttered, and Percy and Annabeth glanced at each other. "And so the intellectual insults begin. And she doesn't even know who my dad is yet." He whispered, and Annabeth snorted. "Well, sucks to be you, Jackson." She whispered back.

"HEY, SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR LITTLE ROMANCE SESSION-" Travis shouted, shoving his head in between them (and scaring the Hades out of them). "-BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS WAITING TO CONTINUE READING!" Connor finished, sticking his head in next to his twin's.

Blushing, the pair motioned for Zeus to continue. Again, that obnoxious squealing sound arose from somewhere around Aphrodite's throne.

Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better,

Everyone that knew Grover laughed. "Really, Percy? Again, easy to read. Grover's going to say something about food, and you'll just roll with it because that's what you do." Annabeth said.

he said, "Can I have your apple?"

This time, everyone laughed.

I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.

More laughter.

"I thought I was the psychic, Wise Girl!" Percy said, fake-pouting. Annabeth rolled her eyes. "More like psycho. (What is with me and horrible jokes? I need to stop…) And that's Rachel's sort of thing, anyways."

Apollo frowned. "Could it…no, no. There's no way."

I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home.

Ares snorted. "Little Percy's a Mommy's Boy, huh?" He asked mockingly.

"You would be, too, if you'd met Mrs. Bl-Jackson." Nico said. "Yeah, Percy, your mom's seriously the best." Annabeth added. Everyone else that had met her nodded in agreement. Poseidon just looked down at the floor, smiling sadly. He missed Sally. A lot. He'd still leave Amphitrite any day if Sally just said so…

She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years

Some of the people in the room gave Percy shocked looks, while Athena looked downright horrified.

"Oh yeah. This is definitely helping our case." Percy whispered, and Annabeth rolled her eyes.

and I was probably going to be kicked out again.

"Yep, that's our Percy. Just a little ray of optimism." Will joked, rolling his eyes.

I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

The demigods nodded knowingly.

Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.

Hephaestus perked up, pulled out a sketchbook, and began scribbling. Hermes and Apollo looked at each other and smiled. "I sense a money-making scheme here!" They said, then turned to the madly-sketching god.

"So, Heph, we've been thinking…" Hermes began. Zeus cut them off. Knowing these guys, this wouldn't end well.

I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her friends – I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists – and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.

Everyone frowned, including Dionysus. Picking on satyrs was his job.

"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.

More weird looks directed at Percy.

I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank.

"But it was already blank!" Nico protested, and Thalia snickered. Percy rolled his eyes. "Love you guys too."

A wave roared in my ears.

Everyone stared at Percy, their eyes sometimes flicking over to Poseidon, who had suddenly found the ceiling incredibly fascinating. "Well, here comes the boom." Percy muttered to himself.

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"

"-the water-"

"-like it grabbed her-"

Dead silence. Slowly, in an eerie unison, Zeus and Hades's heads rotated to face the sea god. "Brother?" Zeus began in a sweet, but creepily threatening, tone. "Would you care to explain?"

Poseidon momentarily tore his gaze away from the ever-so-fascinating ceiling. "Oh…er…explain? What do you mean?" He asked, voice filled with innocence and nervousness.

"We mean," Hades said with a voice identical to Zeus's, "that we're simply wondering why this Percy boy can apparently grab people with water." Poseidon had no excuse for that. "Well….umm…."

"YOU. BROKE. THE. OATH!" Zeus screamed, flying up from his throne (I can't stop. I'm sorry.) and pointing at Poseidon, sparks flickering from his fingertips. Poseidon rose from his throne. "You're forgetting that you did as well, brother!" He shouted, standing his ground firmly.

"Am I the only one that kept the oath? You imbeciles just can't do anything right!" Hades yelled, and both brothers glared at him. "QUIET!" They both shouted, then turned back to their fight.

"I ought to kill him now!" Zeus announced dramatically, and Poseidon bristled. "Do so, and you'll be ending your daughter's life as well!" The sea god shot back. "And might I add, the Fates ordered us to not harm anyone from the future, and that includes my son."

Zeus scowled, but finally sat down. "Fine. But don't expect me to approve of any of this." He huffed, and Poseidon rolled his eyes, inwardly thankful that his son was still alive. He glanced over at the demigods, who were watching with somewhat exasperated expressions.

"I don't even know how many times this whole 'let's-debate-over-wether-or-not-you-should-be-all owed-to-live-while-you-stand-right-in-front-of-us' thing has happened." Percy grumbled, and Poseidon sighed. "Great." he thought. "If I weren't immortal, that'd be another gray hair."

I didn't know what they were talking about.

"That happens pretty often." Thalia remarked, and Percy groaned. "Are you just going to take every opportunity possible to insult me?" He asked, and was met with nothing more than wicked smiles. "Right. Best cousins ever." He mumbled.

All I knew was that I was in trouble again.

As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester.

"She probably was." Hades said, and Poseidon groaned.

"Now, honey-"

"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."

"Bad move, Percy, bad move." The Stolls and Hermes chorused, shaking their heads sadly.

That wasn't the right thing to say.

"You should've just listened to us." Travis said, shaking his head. "But you didn't tell me before it – wait a minute, yes you did!" Percy said, eyes wide. "Hey, how come we don't remember this? If this is happening in the past, why don't we know about it in the future?" Katie asked.

Everyone looked at Athena and Annabeth expectantly. Both just shrugged. "You never know with the Fates." Athena said. "Besides, I don't know everything. I don't know about Mom, but I don't." Annabeth added.

Percy gaped. "The Great and Wondrous Annabeth doesn't know everything?" "But…she is the smartestest except for Athena." Tyson mumbled, eyes wide.

"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.

"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."

"Aw, such a good friend!" Hera and Demeter smiled. "Yeah, that's what friends are for. Saving their friends from demonic teachers that want to kill them." Grover smiled, and the futures laughed. Poseidon just gulped. Again. So far, he was hating this book.

I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.

"Wow." Rachel mumbled. "Really unfortunate wording."

She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.

"But-"

"You-will-stay-here."

Grover looked at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."

"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirked.

I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.

The futures stared at Percy blinking. "Your deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare?" They echoed, wide-eyed. The Olympians shrugged.

Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

Poseidon grasped the arms of his throne, completely unaware that everyone was watching him.

I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.

I wasn't so sure.

"Don't go after her don't go after her don't go after her." Poseidon chanted under his breath, and Percy grinned at him, shrugging.

I went after Mrs. Dodds.

"Of course." Poseidon grunted, and Percy smiled sheepishly.

Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.

Poseidon glared at Chiron, who winced. "My son is being led away by some…some monster, and you don't even pay attention?" He boomed, fury in his eyes.

"Hey, it's cool. He does help me. I mean…I'm alive, right?" Percy cut in, and after a few moments of Poseidon staring at him uncertainly, the sea god shrugged and leaned back in his chair, still gripping the armrests.

I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building at the end of the entrance hall.

Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

But apparently that wasn't the plan.

I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.

Except for us, the gallery was empty.

"Oh, that's just fantastic." Poseidon moaned, eyes glued on his son.

Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

He gripped the armrests harder.

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…

"She probably did." Hades added.

"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.

I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."

She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"

"With what?" The Olympians chorused, and the futures just grinned.

The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.

Poseidon gripped the armrests harder, and a few splinters broke off.

I said, "I'll – I'll try harder, ma'am."

Thunder shook the building.

"Dramatic much?" Hades muttered, and Zeus glared.

"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking about.

Nico and Thalia opened their mouths to speak, but Percy cut them off. "Don't." He growled, and they wisely shut up. Poseidon had to crack a smile at that, even though his armrests were still suffering.

All I could thin of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my form room.

Hermes, Apollo, and the Stolls gaped. "Uncle P…" Apollo began, "…your kid is awesome." Hermes finished.

Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade.

Athena and Annabeth glared. "Idiot Sea Spawn. How dare you make such a mockery of education?" The goddess hissed. "Tom Sawyer's a classic! You're such a Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth scolded.

Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.

Annabeth glared at him. "Percy!" She growled. Percy gulped.

"Well?" she demanded.

"Ma'am, I don't…"

"Your time is up," she hissed.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me into ribbons.

Poseidon looked as if he were about to explode with tension. "I'm okay, dad." Percy reminded him. The god relaxed a little. Just a little.

Then things got even stranger.

"Chiron to the rescue!" Grover cried.

Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.

"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.

"See? Told you Chiron helped." Percy said, trying (and failing ) to calm his father.

Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.

SNAP. The armrests broke, and everyone stared at Poseidon. He motioned for Zeus to keep reading.

With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword – Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.

Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.

"Wuss!" Ares and Clarisse shouted in unison. "Oh, come on. It was his first monster. He has the right to be scared." Aphrodite scolded, leaning towards Hephaestus and making Ares scowl. "Besides, they're both just insulting themselves for later." Percy muttered to people around him, who snickered.

She snarled, "Die, honey!"

And she flew straight at me.

Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.

Everyone stared at him blankly. "How is swinging a sword natural?" Artemis asked, and Percy shrugged.

The metal hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!

The Olympians gaped, and Poseidon finally relaxed.

Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.

I was alone.

There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.

Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's kind of what alone means."

My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.

"…Magic mushrooms?" Poseidon asked, his eyebrow. Percy shrugged. "I dunno. Only explanation I could think of at the time."

Had I imagined the whole thing?

I went back outside.

It had started to rain.

Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still there, soaked from her swim in the fountain grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."

Everyone besides Chiron, Grover, Dionysus, and Percy asked: "Who?"

I said, "Who?"

A silence fell over the room. "Never speak of this again." Zeus muttered. "Agreed." Everyone else mumbled.

"Our teacher. Duh!"

I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.

She just rolled her eyes and turned away.

I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.

He said, "Who?"

But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.

"Way to blow your cover AGAIN. Hermes cabin has my permission to give the satyrs lying lessons upon your return." Dionysus grumbled, and the Stolls got an evil glint in their eye.

"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious.

Thunder boomed overhead.

"Apparently Zeus thinks so too." Apollo snickered, only to be smacked by Artemis.

I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.

I went over to him.

He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."

I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"

He stared at me blankly. "Who?"

"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."

He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"

"Scratch what I said before." Dionysus said. "Chiron will be giving the lying lessons. He's less likely to do something potentially dangerous anyways." The Stolls pouted.

"Well, so far this has been an…interesting…solstice. Who wants to read next?" Zeus asked.

A/N: SO, WHO READS NEXT? I don't know, you tell me! Anyways, I hope you liked this! If it sucked towards the ending, sorry, cuz right now it's 1 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I'm writing. This is the longest chapter I've ever written (by like, 5,000 words) and I'm about to collapse. That being said, keep reading/reviewing/being awesome!-FLY